Currently the Cubs stand at 34-54, just 2 1/2 ahead of the Royals and 5 ahead of the Pirates.

So far this season has been a massive disappointment, even when you remember that our expectations were fairly modest.  We were all predicting a team just above .500 even with Wood and Prior being written off.  So what has happened to us so far?

First of all, we’ve been unable to score runs.  As Scott Lange pointed out, the Cubs in early May had an offense that was historically bad.  At one point we only had one player with an OPS over .800 that wasn’t on the DL.  Our leadoff hitter, Juan Pierre,(who we acquired for 3 pitchers that the Marlins now use) has been so bad that Dusty has put Neifi in the leadoff spot in a few games.  To put it simply, our offense is the worst in baseball (yes, I’m including little league teams in this.)

Pitching hasn’t been as bad as the offense, but only because it’s hard to be the worst with Carlos Zambrano being a starter.  We’re currently 9th of 16 in the NL in runs given up per game.  Prior and Wood, as mentioned above, were not expected to contribute much to us this year, so we can’t blame that.  Our bullpen hasn’t been as awful as recent memory, with Eyre, Howry, Williamson, and to a lesser extent Ohman, being solid.  Our biggest problem has been that we can’t keep any starters in the rotation.  Marshall and Maddux are both just below 5 ERA, but the other 2 spots in the rotation are spread among 6 players other than Wood and Prior, which simply won’t work.  Instead of giving a prospect a shot, we’d give one or two starts, then send them down before they could get a groove.  We finally filled one with Marmol, but that giving 9 starts to Rusch was insane.  It’s the pitching equivalent of replacing an injured Derrek Lee with Neifi Perez, something no organization is stupid enough to........dammit, nevermind.

The failure of this organization to do anything correctly should be cause for immediate dismissal for Hendry, Baker, and most/all of the coaching staff.  Our hitters aren’t developing properly, our pitchers don’t seem to have much control, and injuries just don’t seem to go away (see Wood, Kerry; Guzman, Angel; Prior, Mark).  I see nothing that tells me that this team will be putting it together any time soon.

The cubs suck, the cubs will always suck.

Even Aristotle would agree if he wasn’t dead, greek and constantly gaying it up at the symposium with his “chums” plato and socrates instead of at the ball game that the preceeding statement is in fact not a subjective statement at all (!) but a binding and objective and metaphysical tauntology and tautological syllogism that is completely irrefutable by both man and zues.

More seriously, Cubs’ fans need to take aggressive and political cumulative action to reform their institution,

the OTSW’s 10 Point Program:

1. Rally from within the media through blog expansion and emails to the press and signs at the ball park etc., to fire Dusty Baker.
2. By the Same Methods, express discontent with the general manager and ownership.
3. By the Same Methods, demand championship caliber teams every year by implication, as in New York.
4. Boycott the Tribune if it does not comply, start with internet campaign and individual boycotts, email press about it, etc. Make it a Chicago initiative, not just a cubs fan thing.
5. Protest on the streets of chicago (though watch out for some streets).
6. Demand Wage Equality… I mean Boycott Team Goods by buying cheap replicas not associated and appeal to the courts about paying such high ticket prices for such crappy teams, for media attention.
7. Begin exodus to White Sox fan base by starting up a media attention drawing conversion-help site.
8. Think of something else.
9. See Directly Above
10. Ditto

I’m sure the 10 Point Program would work, but the bottom line is that the ownership thinks they can exploit fans because of their perceived willingness to lose. It’s up to the Chicago fans to change this perception. 

(sidenote: Flying Spagetti Monsterism is only a substitute for genuine anti-theism [of which “atheism” is also a substitute, if your wondering why I didn’t use that word] In My Opinion, although I highly respect the devotees of such a majestic and noble uberpasta)