P A A P F L Y: Dear Mr. Neukom, SOS.

“We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
Let’s drop the big one and see what happens”

What we can clearly see from this is that the Giants still appear to lack the ability to get on base at a league average rate and are by far the worst in the division. Exasperating that problem is the fact that when they do manage to sneak their way on base, they are going to have to go station to station to score runs.  While my method for examining their relative speed and OBP for 2010 isn’t exactly bullet proof, it does provide some pretty significant evidence that the Giants won’t be terribly swift.  After all, Bill James’ ( a pretty smart guy) projections are based on past performance. The Dodgers have the second worst average speed factor in the division and still have greater than a 20% advantage in that category. The back breaker of course is the fact that the Giants also have a serious power outage since the departure of Barry Bonds. A team that can’t get on base, runs like a team full of catchers and can’t play for the three run dinger probably isn’t going to score many runs. So if the Giants pitching staff felt they were carrying the load last year, they will probably feel more of the same this year and the defense behind them projects to do them a lot less good, too.

Sabean is out of money for the upcoming season and he’s running out of time. He may have fooled the business man Neukom thus far, but it appears his days are numbered. Frankly, he was very lucky with the timing of Peter McGowan’s departure. Neukom probably didn’t want to make such a big splash, especially coming off of a very successful season with the huge turnaround from ’08 to ’09, but if Sabean’s rosters continue to be less than impressive despite the young infusion of talent provided to him by John Barr and Dick Tidrow, Neukom will show him the door and find a new CEO. If a man who once ran the very successful Microsoft can’t understand the benefit that is the wealth of statistical information currently available to evaluate players and which Sabean ignores, who can?

MLB: Mays’ life and legend transcend statistics

As Sammy Davis once said to Willie Mays on the Mike Douglas Show..."Willie, man, I must ask you, where did that saying about you “Willie don’t want that ball” come from?” Mays..."I have no idea what you are talking about, Sammy”

Then, after the Giants moved to San Francisco in 1958, he played home games for 12 full seasons (1960-71) at Candlestick Park, where the incessant winds muted drives pulled to left field by right-handed-hitting sluggers such as him.

Asked if Candlestick denied Mays batches of homers, former Giants broadcaster Lon Simmons responded without hesitation.

“No doubt about it,” said Simmons, who saw Mays’ best years in San Francisco.

Right-hander Bob Bolin recalled watching the gusts stifle dozens of Mays’ clouts when the Giants’ bullpen was situated down the left-field line in Candlestick’s early years.

“The ball would actually be out of the ballpark on those high drives, and the wind would push them back in,” said Bolin, who pitched for the Giants from 1961 to 1969.

Undaunted, Mays learned to stroke pitches to right-center field, where the breezes carried batted balls toward the fence. But if Candlestick frustrated him, he wouldn’t reveal it.

“It was miserable to play there, and he never, ever said how bad it was,” said shortstop Chris Speier, who began his 19-year career with the Giants in 1971.

mlbblogs.com: The Giants - Back Together Again

Jeremy Affeldt emerged, as he always does in these things, as a natural entertainer. He got everyone laughing with pointed barbs at manager Bruce Bochy for making him pitch to a guy “who hit about .900’’ off him. When, a few minutes later, Kuiper asked the relievers to name their all-time favorite player, Affeldt deadpanned, “Bruce Bochy.’’ (The next morning at the team meeting, Bochy said he was ready to name his Opening Day pitcher: Jeremy Affeldt.)
• Asked what position he would play if he got to choose, Pablo Sandoval didn’t hesitate. “Hitting!’’
• Sergio Romo showed off the T-shirt he had bought earlier in the day. It was pure Sergio who, besides Pablo, is the most playful guy on the team. The design on the front of the shirt lit up whenever he talked, which meant - as his teammates will tell you - it blazed all night.
• Dan Runzler, who played at every minor-league level last year before making it to San Francisco in September, was asked what it was like to pitch to players he had only seen on TV. “I was in more shock going into the locker room (of the Giants),’’ he said. “I had never been to a major-league spring training, so I was completely star-struck.’’
• When the pitchers were asked when they knew they wanted to be pitchers, Runzler said, “I knew I wanted to be a pitcher when they took the bat out of my hands and told me to pitch.’’

They weren’t kidding about Eli Whiteside. Wow, he’s 30 going on 50.

Books | ‘Willie Mays’: The life and legend of a pioneering baseball player | Seattle Times Newspaper

He likes it; he really likes it.

This is a 600-page book that never flags and educates as it entertains. But what I’m most grateful for is the chance to “see” the player whom I’ve only imagined. I grew up idolizing Willie Mays but was too young to ever see him play. This book makes me feel like I have.

MLB: Sabean likes Schierholtz in right field

Whoever started the “Summit Police Chief Randall Disher” FB page...can you move on to “The Standard of Randy Winn”? Thanks.

Right field scarcely concerned the Giants through most of the previous fou-and-a-half seasons while Randy Winn, a skilled and underrated defender, patrolled the position. Winn’s migration to the New York Yankees through free agency has left the Giants searching for an able replacement. Sabean, addressing reporters at the KNBR 680/Giants FanFest, is convinced that Schierholtz can handle the position regularly.

“You always need your best fielder in right field, and the only guy who really has a chance to do that against the standard of Randy Winn is Schierholtz,” Sabean said.

Though Sabean left open the possibility that Andres Torres and Eugenio Velez could platoon in right field, he added that relying upon Schierholtz at that spot will facilitate the Giants’ chances of settling on a consistent lineup.

“Schierholtz can really play right field. There’s no doubt about that,” Sabean said.

Schierholtz, who turns 26 on February 15, started 61 games in right field last year. The respectable .284 batting average he has compiled in 174 games with the Giants since 2007 is offset by his .316 on-base percentage and six home runs in 472 at-bats. The Giants admired Schierholtz’s performance for Carolina in the Puerto Rican Winter League, where he batted .324 in 19 games. His on-base and slugging percentages were .366 and .524, respectively, though he hit one home run in 74 at-bats.

MLB: Longtime voice Lurie heads across Bay to Giants

Longtime A’s radio host and baseball aficionado Marty Lurie confirmed Thursday that he’s taking his wildly popular pregame show to the other side of the bridge, where he will be heard on KNBR’s pre- and postgame Giants programming.

For 12 years, most recently on KTRB, Lurie presented fans with “Right Off The Bat”—a unique show that celebrates the game’s history through interviews with old-timers, national writers, club executives, scouts and the like.

A longtime lawyer with an even longer love for baseball, Lurie has bought and sold his own time slots each year. This offseason, though, he never quite landed on the same page as KTRB, which recently agreed to a long-term contract to broadcast A’s games through 2019.

“Each year I would negotiate to make sure I had a spot for the next season,” Lurie said Thursday morning. “Toward the end of September, I started contacting KTRB but couldn’t get answers to any of my e-mails or phone calls as to what the plans were for this next season. It went into late November when I found out that they were looking into different programming.”

Thanks to Iggy.

BPro: Astros Top 11 Prospects

Four-Star Prospects
1. Jio Mier, SS
2. Jason Castro, C
Three-Star Prospects
3. Jordan Lyles, RHP
4. Tanner Bushue, RHP
5. Ross Seaton, RHP
6. Chia-Jen Lo, RHP
7. Tommy Manzella, SS
8. Samuel Gervacio, RHP
Two-Star Prospects
9. T.J. Steele, OF
10. Jon Gaston, OF
11. Koby Clemens, C

Four More:
12. Jay Austin, OF: It’s hard not to get excited about the tools, but he’s far from being a baseball player.
13. Henry Villar, RHP: This undersized righty doesn’t have a ton of stuff, but his command and control are outstanding.
14. Telvin Nash, OF: A 2009 third-rounder, Nash is beefy and has plenty of power, but he’s very raw.
15. Brian Bogusevic, OF: A converted pitcher, Bogusevic scuffled at Triple-A, but he could still end up as a fourth outfielder.

Klapisch: How long can Lincecum shoulder load?

Or as Mrs."The Schemestress” Drucci once said..."We sure gave the Verducci Effect a swell sendoff!”.

Lincecum’s mechanics are so far acting as a buffer against injury; to say the Giants’ right-hander uses his entire body to deliver the ball is like saying Bill Gates has a checking account. Lincecum’s pitching stride reaches 7.5 feet, or roughly 129 percent of his height. The average stride length for a pitcher is 77 to 87 percent of his height.

That may explain why Lincecum was able to dodge the dreaded “Verducci Effect” in 2009. The theory, devised by Sports Illustrated’s Tom Verducci, suggested that a pitcher under 25 risks injury by increasing his workload by more than 30 innings from one year to the next.

Lincecum added 81.1 innings between 2007 and 2008, which means the Verducci Effect should’ve nailed him in ’09. But it didn’t. Lincecum leads the majors in ERA, batting average against (.214), winning percentage (.733) and strikeouts over the past two seasons.

But that’s not to say Lincecum can forever rely on pure velocity, as he’s already weaning off his fastball. In 2007, two out of every three pitches Lincecum threw were four-seam heat; the percentage declined to 55.8 percent last year. Conversely, his dependence on change-ups increased from 13.4 percent in ’07 to 21.4 percent in ’09.

MLB: Kim, who yielded Bonds’ 715th, comes out of retirement

Right-hander Byung-Hyun Kim, who surrendered Barry Bonds’ 715th home run, and left-hander Horacio Ramirez have signed Minor League contracts, the Giants announced Monday.

Kim, 31, owns a 54-60 record, a 4.42 ERA and 86 saves in nine Major League seasons with Arizona, Boston, Colorado and Florida. He has not pitched in the Majors since 2007, one year after he yielded the homer that made Bonds the No. 2 home run hitter in history, breaking a tie with Babe Ruth. Bonds ultimately became the all-time home run leader.

Kim retired from baseball after Pittsburgh released him in 2008 during Spring Training. He was a National League All-Star in 2002, when he compiled an 8-3 record with a 2.04 ERA and 36 saves for Arizona.

Wow! Eyes are shot...I read that as Horatio Prim!

Britt: Tim Lincecum’s look not such a curveball

So he looks like a face-wasted extra from a Beardo video. Big deal, McNeal.

Why, then, the astounding amount of consternation over the fashion foibles of our very own bona fide superstar pitcher, Tim Lincecum? Is it the boyish smile beneath the long, dark hair? The black ski cap at press conferences? The “Twilight"-like pallor? The fact that he looks as if he’s late for band practice?

If any week in recent memory has inflamed the stuffed shirts against Lincecum’s off-field dress, it’s this one.

Not only did Tiny Tim ask for $13 million in arbitration (pay him!), he went tieless in what very well may have been his father’s drab suit for a court date on Jan. 19. Days later, he suited up in a sleek tux, white pocket square and black necktie (he and Alex Rodriguez, also in a necktie with tie clip, made the other big-leaguers look like country rubes) for the Baseball Writers Association of America dinner to formally collect his second Cy Young Award.

...As are the Giants. Team spokeswoman Shana Daum says, “We love how Tim dresses and looks as long as he’s our pitcher and keeps on winning.” In fact, the team is so enthralled that it’s planning to sell a Tim Lincecum hairpiece to be worn under a ball cap so that all fans can sport a set of Lincecum locks.

But the outcry persists, with comments like: “Cut his hair,” “Dress like a man” and “Make him over.” Ah, the trials of fame.

WaPo Nationals Journal/Sheinin: The Bacsik-Bonds at-bat, pitch-by-pitch

Did he or didn’t he? Sheinin goes to the replay:

Luckily, MLB.com has the entire game in its archive. (I found it by googling “Bonds 756 video,” then clicking on this link, then the “watch” button next to “Bonds hits No. 756.” This brings up the pop-up media player with a replay of the home run. Near the top right of the media player is an option to open a linescore, from which you can choose any half-inning to pick up the full game action. I chose the bottom of the fifth, and there was Barry, digging in the batter’s box.)

Fangraphs: The New Inefficiency?

One of the main uses of value analysis is to try and find market inefficiencies. Ten years ago, on base percentage was undervalued, so teams loaded up on high walk guys that scouts didn’t care for. More recently, defense has been the undervalued asset, so teams have gone after guys who can turn balls in play into outs.

[...]

What will the next big inefficiency be? It’s impossible to predict, of course, but I have a guess – old players.

Teammate thinks Mike Bacsik grooved the pitch for Bonds’ 756th

Heavens 37! We don’t need this fascist groove thang!

But despite those whispers, it wasn’t until Wednesday when an involved party offered a public opinion in the affirmative. Appearing on Sirius XM’s MLB Home Plate with F.P. Santangelo and Joe Castellano, former Nationals pitcher Tim Redding said he thinks Bacsik did.

“I mean, the guy that gave it up, I never want to speak ill of anybody,” Redding said. “Mike Bacsik is a stand-up guy. He’s a little quirky, but he’s a nice guy, means well. I think he wanted to give it up. And he can say what he wants in defense or whatnot, but doing the chart, I mean, every ball that Barry hit, the ball was center cut, right down the middle, fastball. You know, I think maybe inside he was thinking he was going to get a little bit more publicity.  Maybe, you know, publicity and some money out of it, appearances, stuff like that.”

Update: Mike Bacsik just tweeted the following — “Well just got a call from Bill Ladson of washingtonnationals.com and Tim Redding said he believes I tried to give up homer#756. Good teammate”

Keith Law: Top 100 prospects

NO.  PLAYER
1 Jason Heyward, OF, ATL
2 Stephen Strasburg, RHP, WAS
3 Carlos Santana, C, CLE
4 Buster Posey, C, SFO
5 Mike Stanton, OF, FLA
6 Desmond Jennings, OF, TAM
7 Martin Perez, LHP, TEX
8 Dustin Ackley, CF, SEA
9 Justin Smoak, 1B, TEX
10 Jesus Montero, C, NYY
11 Brian Matusz, LHP, BAL
12 Starlin Castro, SS, CHC
13 Neftali Feliz, RHP, TEX
14 Domonic Brown, RF, PHI
15 Wade Davis, RHP, TAM
16 Aroldis Chapman, LHP, CIN
17 Jeremy Hellickson, RHP, TAM
18 Casey Kelly, RHP, BOS
19 Aaron Hicks, RHP, MIN
20 Brett Wallace, 1B, TOR
21 Logan Morrison, 1B, FLA
22 Tyler Matzek, LHP, COL
23 Jenrry Mejia, RHP, NYM
24 Michael Taylor, OF, OAK
25 Zach Britton, LHP, BAL

Scouting reports for the top 25 should be free, I think.

USA Today: Giants unveil a new on-base initiative for 2010

Yes...and Alcatraz will be holding a Tribute to the Choctaw Kid party in 2010.

That might sound counterintuitive, but the Giants want to change their hitters’ mind-set, a process that began when they replaced hitting coach Carney Lansford with Hensley Meulens after the season, and Molina’s .285 on-base percentage did not fit with the philosophy.

Plus, when you register the lowest OBP in baseball (.309), relying purely on instinct might not be such a good idea.

“Last year we were challenged because we had a bunch of free swingers, and some of our better hitters were free swingers,” general manager Brian Sabean said, naming Molina and Pablo Sandoval among them. “It is a shift. The first thing we’ll do once we have the players at hand on the roster is figure out how we can have a better attack. It’s not necessarily hitting home runs as much as taking care of your opportunities. We are going to work counts more if possible.”

Oakland Tribune: Giants GM, manager in jeopardy?

“He’s young enough, he’s hard working, he’s on a mission,” Sabean said. “He wanted to stay with the ballclub and be our second baseman, and that’s the way it’s going to turn out.”

In early December, Sanchez broke down for the third time in little more than four months, when his shoulder failed to hold up to resumed baseball activity. He had surgery Dec. 23 to repair his labrum. The Giants kept it quiet for almost a month before Bochy broke the news in a radio interview this week.

Will Sanchez be ready to start the season? Giants head athletic trainer Dave Groeschner checked in with a definite maybe.

“That’s a goal for Freddy,” said Groeschner, who has been overseeing Sanchez’s rehab in Arizona. “I know he’s working his butt off right now. It’s a possibility, but it may not happen.”

So many questions. When does Sanchez come back? How will his shoulder hold up? Which player will he be? The guy who won a battling title with 53 doubles in 2006? The guy who hit .304 and made the All-Star team in 2007? The guy who posted career lows in average, on-base percentage and slugging percentage in 2008? The ghost who hit a soft .284 for the Giants at the end of 2009? Which body part will break down next?

Sabean, of course, defended the Giants’ decision to rework Sanchez’s contract last fall while he was between surgeries.

“The nth degree of due diligence was done on the medical side,” he said. “This is something we couldn’t pinpoint. It shows the medical profession isn’t perfect. There’s nothing more we could have done.”

Jenkins: 3-Dot Lounge: Posey and Bengie

Posey and Wladislaw! Two down...ten to go.

I’m simply picturing a midseason scenario in which the Giants aren’t hitting, Posey is tearing up the Pacific Coast League, and they could use his bat in the worst way. Called up to replace Molina? Big risk, in Bochy’s mind. Subbing occasionally at several positions? Not enough playing time. As for the bigger issue - longevity - we’ve all thought of Posey as a catcher, because good ones are so hard to find, but he’d turn into his good friend Gordon Beckham (the White Sox’s versatile infielder) if given the chance.

You’ll say this is all too complicated, and you’ll be right. With Pablo Sandoval, Aubrey Huff, Juan Uribe and Mark DeRosa, the Giants have more than enough must-play guys who could bounce around the infield corners, not to mention Travis Ishikawa and Conor Gillaspie (he’s on the 40-man roster). And why would the Giants give up on their master plan for Posey when it answers so many questions?

Just sayin’, that’s all. It’s bar talk, in the spirit of the late, great Scottsdale baseball tavern, the Pink Pony. You now may toss me through the doors.

ESPN: Sanchez’s Opening Day status uncertain

SAN FRANCISCO—San Francisco Giants second baseman Freddy Sanchez underwent left shoulder surgery and might not be ready by Opening Day.

Manager Bruce Bochy confirmed to The Associated Press on Thursday night that Sanchez had a recent arthroscopic procedure. Bochy first told KNBR radio of Sanchez’s surgery.

Sanchez had left knee surgery late in the 2009 season.

Bochy said Sanchez might not be fully recovered by opening day.

“He’s going to be a little delayed,” Bochy said in a phone interview. “It’ll be close if he can go opening day or not.”

The 32-year-old Sanchez was bothered by injuries to his left shoulder and left knee last season after joining the Giants on July 29 in a trade from Pittsburgh and played in only 25 games with San Francisco.

San Francisco acquired Sanchez to help them make a playoff push, but he has spent more time injured than on the field and the Giants missed the postseason for a sixth straight year. Sanchez has repeatedly called that “disappointing” and understands why fans were frustrated.

EV Tribune: Mesa unveils plan to keep Cubs; vote Monday

Mesa’s plan was developed after months of talks with the team to prevent the Cactus League’s most popular team from accepting a bid from investors near Naples, Fla.

The $84 million plan was drafted on requests that the Cubs had to develop a Wrigleyville-themed complex, Mesa City Manager Chris Brady said. The city would own the stadium and training facilities. Mesa maintains the current training facilities, but Brady said the team wanted to take that expense and gain advertising rights at the new complex.

The Village Voice: Barra: Was Missing Bengie Molina the Mets’ First Error of the Season?

Yeah, and if Bengie Molina was my Village Voice delivery kid...I’d just be receiving Pazz & Jop #1!

Can we stop talking about Carlos Beltran’s knee surgery for just a minute? Bengie Molina is far from the best catcher in baseball, but he was clearly the best on the free agent market. And with 20 home runs and 80 RBIs last season, he was a significant upgrade from anyone the Mets had or were likely to get.

For weeks now, it’s practically been assumed that Bengie was going to be a Met. Now he’s re-signed with his old team, the San Francisco Giants, who flat out said just a few short months ago that they didn’t want him back. ("That ship has sailed,” Giants GM Brian Sabean told reporters during the winter meetings.)

...The only report that really matters, though, is the one that will explain to us how Omar Minaya could have let this debacle happen. Molina was dissatisfied with the Giants and was there to be had. How is it possible that the Mets, so desperate to acquire first rate free agents, would not have given a potential starting catcher a multi-year contract and a significant pay raise? Actually, there is one more significant question to be asked: does the failure to land Molina halt the momentum the Mets gained by signing Jason Bay? Only if they fail to come up with someone else as good or better as Molina, and right now there’s no indication of where such a catcher will come from.

Molina Signs 1-Year Deal To Stay With SF Giants

SLOW BREAKING NEWS!

In a surprising twist, Bengie Molina has signed a one-year, $4.5 million contract to stay with the San Francisco Giants, CBS 5 has learned.

Sources outlined terms of the deal Tuesday that keeps the free-agent catcher in a Giants uniform.

In recent weeks, the 35-year-old Molina - after expressing disappointment with the Giants franchise - was reportedly close to reaching a two-year deal with the New York Mets.

BP Unfiltered: Carroll: The Lincecum Lottery

While most fans wait on pitchers and catchers, people inside baseball (and the kind of obsessives here at BP) are waiting to see “the number.” What will Tim Lincecum and his representatives ask for in arbitration? Speculation has been rampant, ranging from $8m to $22m.

No real analysis in this one, but a fun little game anyway. Lincecum is, if not the best, then certainly the most-accoladed player to hit his first year of arbitration.

I’m betting $14 million, based on no reasons whatever.

Faith and Fear in Flushing: Prince: This Might Blow Fred Wilpon’s Mind

“I assure you that my retirement has nothing to do with my trade to your organization,” Robinson wrote Stoneham in a letter making it clear he wouldn’t be reporting to Spring Training in 1957. “From all I have heard from people who have worked with you it would have been a pleasure to have been in your organization. Again my thanks and continued success for you and the New York Giants.”

Doesn’t sound all that vitriolic, does it?

It was a little late for Jackie Robinson to start switching teams, but that doesn’t mean somebody didn’t imagine he might have followed through. Last year, Topps created a special set of “Cards That Never Were” in the style of their 1959 releases for a sports collector’s show. Jackie as a New York Giant, swinging in black and orange as if he hadn’t retired, was in the set. This caught the eagle eye of my baseball card maven friend, Joe, who tracked it down for me for my birthday…which was awfully nice of him. (And yes, I do know my share of baseball card mavens.)

Jackie Robinson, pictured as a New York Giant: I’ll be looking for a reproduction in a Rotunda near me.

Thanks to Novartis Gilmore.

Sources: Huff signs with Giants

SOURCE: GIANTS SIGN AUBREY HUFF
Quick blog here...got a tip from a source that the Giants have signed left-handed first baseman Aubrey Huff to a one-year, $3 million contract.  That will almost surely set the Giants line-up for 2010 with Pablo remaining at third base.  Kim Coyle reported yesterday that the Giants were still talking with Adam LaRoche, but my source now says that deal is dead, but can’t say for sure. Huff stumbled last season to .241, 15, 85, but if he can return to his numbers of 2008 (32, 108, .304) this could be a steal.  Stay tuned.

Panda back to 3B, Huff to 1B, DeRosa to LF?

I’m sure Repoz can tie in the band Giant and their lead singer Dann Huff.

Only Baseball Matters:  …. More fuel for the fire

Did Edgar Renteria deserve a two-year deal worth $18 million? Absolutely not. After the lay down, give up year he pulled in Detroit, not one team in baseball was willing to offer him those kind of numbers. He would have been happy with a minor league contract and an invitation to camp. Only Brian Sabean thought he was worth $18 million dollars. Only Brian Sabean thought he was worth anything at all.

Did Dave Roberts deserve a three-year deal worth $18 million dollars? Please. Dave Roberts had never been an everyday player in his entire baseball life. He was 34 years old, and in all likelihood, was as stunned by the Giants offer as anyone in baseball. And, of course, as an everyday centerfielder, he was completely overmatched in every phase of the game, from having to hit both right handers and lefthanders, to simply staying healthy; because, of course, he was old, and injury-prone.

On and on, over and over again, Brian Sabean doles out millions of dollars to players who are sitting at home staring at the telephone, praying that it will ring –players who go from starting for the Giants to yakking it up in the broadcast booth– and the rest of the baseball world laughs.

The Village Voice - 1957: Jim Larkin: ‘I Hate Baseball’

For Christgau’s sake! Here’s a blast/past.

Gee but I hate Baseball and all that phoney baloney that goes with it. The crap about sore arms, balloting for the All-Star Game. Ladies’ Days (I just can’t bring myself to believe Ava Gardner wants to go to a ball game), and batter’s neuroses—all leave me colder than yesterday’s pizza. The mularkey that’s jammed into your eyes, ears, nose, throat, and god knows what else for at least six sickening months a year.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t escape it. You can stay away from the sports pages. Leave off the radio and TV. And then some moron operating an elevator will turn on you and bellow: “Hey, Mac, what’s the score?” When you shake your head in ignorance, he returns to his life’s labors convinced he’s transporting a Communist or fairy—possibly even both. It’s enough to drive a guy to putting a monkey on his back.

And then these broads that are supposed to dig the game. Well, fellas, I’ve never met a gal even remotely lovable that knew the difference between First Base and a water cooler, and I for one like it that way. To me, the dame fan figures to be a sorry mess: flat chest, messy hair both on chin and dome, who drinks beer and carries a man’s handkerchief. Well, doll, this may be a great imitation of Mickey Mantle, but I don’t kiss people who smoke Viceroys anyway.

Then I have my own private theory about this “interest” in the “National Pastime.” I figure it’s a pose. From Ike right on down to the All-American boys and girl next door and back to Jimmy Cannon. A pose which makes you slobs feel that sweet “togetherness.” But I suppose you do need something to blabber and nod to each other about. Just count this lad out. I’ve had it. Stoneham and O’Malley can take their moon faces and bank accounts to Hawaii, for all I care. I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope the Yankees get the general idea.

Source: Giants close to deal with DeRosa

DeRobothal!

The San Francisco Giants are closing in on a two-year deal with Mark DeRosa, according to a major-league source.

The Giants are expected to use DeRosa at third base and also as a super-utility man who could fill in at multiple positions.

Kawakami: Hitmen of the Year: Tim Lincecum and Barry Zito, for very different reasons

Z as in a Zumboorukial misfire.

I came up with the Zeet Game stat in his honor–games in which the starter goes 5 innings or less and gives up 4 runs or more. Zito piled up 6 ZGs in his first 18 starts, and only one after that (in his second-to-last start), so congratulations.

Still that 6 for 18 was not a good run.

How is this Zito thing ever going to help the Giants?

Even at his best these days, Zito is a propped-up, catered-to mediocrity whose contract has kept the Giants from going after top-tier free agents ever since he signed.

They can’t afford to spend that kind of money again, they might have to dump Cain soon in order to afford Lincecum plus Zito’s money, and even if they could look to pay a pitcher again, they don’t ever want to get burned like they got by Zeet.

That’s a lot. Just because he made the Giants smile when they thought about signing him. That is not a good reason to spend $126M.

Zito was a PR move, with Peter Magowan in a frenzy to provide a new face of the franchise. He still is just a PR entity, who occasionally can pitch a good game.

Along with many bad ones. Many, many bad ones.

Rosenthal: Uribe close to deal with Giants

The man never stops working! (obviously...I mean Rosenthal)

Free-agent infielder Juan Uribe is close to returning to the Giants on a one-year contract with a club option for 2011, according to a major-league source.

The Giants are still looking for a regular first or third baseman. The addition of one or the other likely would mean that Uribe would remain in a super-utility role.

The team’s other targets include free-agent third baseman Adrian Beltre and free-agent infielder/outfielder Mark DeRosa. A trade for Marlins second baseman Dan Uggla also is possible.

Uribe, 30, batted .289 with 16 home runs, 55 RBIs and an .824 OPS in 398 plate appearances last season. He appeared at second base, shortstop at third.

Giants shortstop Edgar Renteria, 34, played in only 124 games last season and second baseman Freddy Sanchez had shoulder trouble, increasing Uribe’s value to the team.

Purdy: S.F. Giants must think San Jose is full of clueless rubes

If you’ve ever had shingles, you could get chickenpox now!

The San Francisco Giants must be really afraid. They must also think we’re totally stupid here in San Jose.

We aren’t. And I expect we will prove it over the next year or so, as the issue of whether the A’s can move here is finally resolved.

You see, I have the curious belief that San Jose residents should decide if a major league ballpark for the A’s should be built in downtown San Jose. I’m sure most San Jose citizens agree.

The San Francisco Giants don’t. Which is why the last week has been such a comedy of clumsy, nearly desperate moves on their behalf, including a bizarre lawsuit threat. Also, the team has induced the formation of a bogus San Jose “coalition” to challenge a potential A’s ballpark project.

The Giants evidently are expecting us to be South Bay rubes who can’t figure out what’s happening behind the curtain. Wrong.