Pass.

*snerk*

The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head. The other nurse had the blood pressure on his arm. And my mother was like rubbing his back.

Now we know why he passed out. sly bastard.

...and his lips turned blue!

Well, at least it kept him from slapping the baby out of the doctor's hands.

Best Regards

John

"I know he played baseball, because everybody in the gym said, `Do you know who that is? And he plays baseball' or whatever," she said. "I didn't grow up in a sports-oriented family. So, I wasn't aware that you could have an entire livelihood off of a sport. So when they would say, `Oh, he plays baseball,' I always think, `Oh, I wonder what else he does'—like `that's a nice hobby—but what does he really do?"

You have to be kidding me. I'm trying to wrap my head around this one and I can't conceive of a situation where in 1996 someone would not know that someone could "have an entire livelihood off of a sport" outside of someone living in a cult of some sort.

A-Rod passed out at daughter’s birth

Why? The baby look like Roger Clemens?

Why? The baby look like Roger Clemens?

ding ding ding ding!

Was this before or after Derek Jeter stormed into the room and delivered the child?

Jeter takes charge, diving in and yanking the baby out of there whenever he slips one past the goalie.

Back in 1996, most players drove an ice truck in the offseason.

Alex: You can't tell that story on YES! I'll be a laughingstock.

Cynthia: You schtupped a manly-looking exotic dancer.

Alex: Please at least try to be accurate, dear.

so many possible directions for this thread....so little time......

Was this before or after Derek Jeter stormed into the room and delivered the child?

Unfortunately, Jeter couldn't get to this one in time.

You have to be kidding me. I'm trying to wrap my head around this one and I can't conceive of a situation where in 1996 someone would not know that someone could "have an entire livelihood off of a sport" outside of someone living in a cult of some sort.

my gf is really smart. take my word for it. but i've had to explain to her which teams are in the NL and which in the AL. before we dated, she didn't know the WS is best of 7. she'll say something about sports and i'll realize she is unaware of something i think of as hardwired in my brain. frankly, i wouldn't be surprised about what some women don't know about sports. they could care less. i suspect mrs. rodriguez had heard about pro athletes, but set aside the knowledge almost immediately to focus on what she thinks is important. that's not a criticism, i'm just sayin. if she didn't have any brothers, i guess i could see her obliviousness.

my gf is really smart. take my word for it. but i've had to explain to her which teams are in the NL and which in the AL. before we dated, she didn't know the WS is best of 7. she'll say something about sports and i'll realize she is unaware of something i think of as hardwired in my brain. frankly, i wouldn't be surprised about what some women don't know about sports. they could care less. i suspect mrs. rodriguez had heard about pro athletes, but set aside the knowledge almost immediately to focus on what she thinks is important. that's not a criticism, i'm just sayin. if she didn't have any brothers, i guess i could see her obliviousness.

This is completely and utterly different than not knowing there are professional athletes.

Unfortunately, Jeter couldn't get to this one in time.

It was up the middle after all

well, ya, after i typed it and read my post, it seemed a stretch to go from what i've described to not knowing there are professional athletes. but again i'm just not terribly surprised at the depth of ingnorance some people have about something we think of as a given.

I suspect that a vanishingly small percentage of all Americans are unaware that there is such a thing as professional sports, and a vanishingly small percentage of that percentage are people who are very into physical fitness and/or go to the gym regularly.

She's obviously a grifter.

I suspect that a vanishingly small percentage of all Americans are unaware that there is such a thing as professional sports, and a vanishingly small percentage of that percentage are people who are very into physical fitness and/or go to the gym regularly.

I've seen similar quotes from other wives of famous athletes and I agree that it strains credulity. I think these women go with it because it sounds better than, "My friend told me who he was and I was all like, Cha-Ching!!!"

Heather Mills claimed that when she met Paul McCartney, she wasn't familiar with The Beatles' songs. There's a story that they were driving, and "Hey Jude" came on the radio, and she asked him "Did you write that one?" And look how well that relationship turned out...

Alex: You can't tell that story on YES! I'll be a laughingstock.

Did anyone watch that Yesterdays show on Rodriguez yet? In all the promos he appears to be wearing blackface. Do they explain this on the show? It's truly odd.

edit - I hadn't RTFA, so I guess the show hasn't aired yet. Well, any theories?

Heather Mills claimed that when she met Paul McCartney, she wasn't familiar with The Beatles' songs.

"I know he played music, because everybody in the world said, `Do you know who that is? And he was in The Beatles or whatever," she said. "I didn't grow up in a music-oriented family. So, I wasn't aware that you could have an entire livelihood off of music. So when they would say, `Oh, he sings,' I always think, `Oh, I wonder what else he does'—like `that's a nice hobby—but what does he really do?"

This is completely and utterly different than not knowing there are professional athletes.

Nevertheless, I have the same problem as phred. My wife is willfully ignorant of sports. I'll be watching a basketball game and she'll ask me if someone scored a touchdown. The Red Sox will win a game in Sept. and she'll aske me if that means the season is over and they won the championship.

The only thing she notices is who has the best looking uniforms.

Not that I can blame her any. If you asked me about women's tennis, the only thing I could tell you about any of the players is who I thought was the most ########.

You really don't want to hear the story of what happened at the birth of Bill Buckner's child.

Jim Rice scared her into childbirth?

grinning

i notice that the daddy of a brand new baby girl is the one who posted this.

grinning again

i hear tell that a WHOLE lot of men get sick/fall out during deliveries

but i know this fer SHER that if i get pregnant again, when i go to have the baby it is gonna just be me and my gf there and that is IT

At the birth of Moises Alou's son, Bartman jumped in between the doctor and the baby at the last minute, knocking the poor kid to the floor. The startled baby immediately wet himself, onto his hands. Moises smiled broadly and slapped Bartman on the back saying, "that's my boy!"

bc, I'm not fortunate enough to have a kid, but I have no doubt I couldn't hack watching my wife give birth.

What Alex won't do to get attention.

Alex and Cynthia met in 1996 at a gym in Miami.

"I scouted her out for a month," he said. "I wanted to see her routine, and I wanted to see what time she came in, see how consistent she was. And sure enough, she was like a machine.

I guess machines only like to date their own race.

My wife's ob-gyn made me sit down on a chair when she was inserting the epidural needle in my wife. The ob-gyn told me a decent percentage of men pass out during the procedure. One of them fell face forward and cracked his head open on the edge of a table, so a nurse had to deal with the profuse bleeding while his wife was receiving the epi. It just ain't easy being a guy...

bunyon

my daddy told me he is more than grateful that back when us kids were born between 1970 and 1980 that daddys didn't have to go to the deliveries.

grinning

one of the nurses told me that they say - the bigger they come the harder they fall and the largest men are the ones gonna fall out

one of the nurses told me that they say - the bigger they come the harder they fall and the largest men are the ones gonna fall out

6'4" 245 (okay, probably 250, I've had a lot of meetings lately). Hell, I'd probably pass out at the ultrasound.

It's okay to list your rookie weight forever, bunyon.

my daddy told me he is more than grateful that back when us kids were born between 1970 and 1980 that daddys didn't have to go to the deliveries.

It seems like that development coincided with the popularity of video cameras.

6'4" 245 (okay, probably 250, I've had a lot of meetings lately). Hell, I'd probably pass out at the ultrasound.

I suppose that would be my senior year in high school? 6'4" 208? But I didn't graduate at that weight. I tore an ankle up third game of the season (hoops) and spent 6 weeks on crutches. I graduated at right around 240 and haven't been more than 10 pounds away from that weight since. Sigh. 208 was good. I could dunk easily and run forever.

I'm off to have a drink. Maybe that'll help. And I could watch the video of a birth but it would have to be on mute. I think it's the screaming and hearing pain that is worse than the gore. I mean, the gore is bad, of course. I should stick to cartoons I guess.

Hey, as far as I know, a stork brings the baby.

Hey, as far as I know, a stork brings the baby.


If David Wells doesn't get to the stork first.

The ob-gyn told me a decent percentage of men pass out during the procedure.

Really? It wasn't that bad. For me, I mean. It wasn't that bad for me. For her, it looked pretty rough.

Let's see what his APGAR would be:

Appearance: Blue lipped grimace.

Pulse: <100

Grimace: Feeble cry when stimulated.

Activity: Good muscle tone but reflex irritability.

Respiration: Passed out.

I get four points. That's not good.

25 was simply genius.

I ran into a female friend today. She's seven months pregnant, and she held my hand on her belly for a couple of minutes. I felt like a kid. I kept thinking over and over, Holy ####! There's a little creature in there! What an amazing business.

Johnny Clash Posted: May 06, 2008 at 06:19 PM (#2771096)

Hey, as far as I know, a stork brings the baby.

- speaking from personal experience, unfortunately, that is not true

the best thing about adopting a child is no pregnancy, labor or delivery!!!!!!!!!!

bunyon,

don't feel bad. i got sick watching the video too. and i been with a few gf when they delivered and i couldn't watch. too much blood and shtt everywhere

rich,

if my husband stupid enough to do anything with a camera before the babies born and on the tables we wouldn't be together no more. i don't know why any grrrrl would want your man taking a picture of that

Vaginal delivery is pretty cool, but nothing like a c-section. When the doc goes in there for the baby, it's like a scene from Aliens.

Every husband ought to man up enough to be with his wife when she delivers his child. You've got the easy part: #### her, then listen to her ##### for nine months, then just sit back and watch. Just be thankful you're not the one spitting that thing out.

Vaginal delivery is pretty cool, but nothing like a c-section. When the doc goes in there for the baby, it's like a scene from Aliens.

You're a hopeless romantic.

chick, can we get your opinion on the "husband's knot"? It seems like women in the States have it done routinely, whereas women in Canada don't.

Some guys have said that an hour or so of pain might be easier to deal with than the nine months of her #####ing

spitting that thing out.

so much more unpleasant than the already unpleasant image of childbirth. thank you. oof.

I've seen video of a woman giving birth and a video of an autopsy. The birth was 100x worse.

don't feel bad. i got sick watching the video too.

Mostly the same for me, though it was a slideshow at Lamaze. Everyone (men & women) felt sick about 80% of the way through.

I had no trouble witnessing the birth of either of the two littleidioms. I can sincerely say they were two of the best moments of my life.

She's seven months pregnant, and she held my hand on her belly for a couple of minutes. I felt like a kid. I kept thinking over and over, Holy ####! There's a little creature in there! What an amazing business.

I played Marco Polo with my daughter in utero. I'd put my face right up to my wife's belly, and say "Marco". Then my daughter would kick right where I was.

I played Marco Polo with my daughter in utero. I'd put my face right up to my wife's belly, and say "Marco". Then my daughter would kick right where I was.

Great story. Before I pass it around... you're not pulling my leg, are you?

I'll be there to watch my wife give birth if she promises to watch me pass kidney stones.

I'll be there to watch my wife give birth if she promises to watch me pass kidney stones.

For that, you should have your kidney stones taken away.

Some guys have said that an hour or so of pain might be easier to deal with than the nine months of her #####ing

I think "an hour or so of pain" is, well, underestimating the situation in most instances. As ecstatic as I was immediately after Guapo Jr. came into the world last December, I was not oblivious to the fact that while I was holding the little man and sharing the first five minutes of his life with him, the Dr. was sewing stitches into the Guapette in places that no human should ever have to have stitches.

Don't even get me started on breastfeeding.

Boots Day Posted: May 06, 2008 at 07:42 PM (#2771163)

Every husband ought to man up enough to be with his wife when she delivers his child. You've got the easy part: #### her, then listen to her ##### for nine months, then just sit back and watch. Just be thankful you're not the one spitting that thing out.

- well, not every husband has it easy during the pregnancy. you don't have to ## out "retch" - it is only a dirty word when you gotta listen to it or clean it up. and trust me he don't like retching any more than i did...


Rough Carrigan Posted: May 06, 2008 at 07:50 PM (#2771169)

Some guys have said that an hour or so of pain might be easier to deal with than the nine months of her #####ing

an HOUR? an HOUR????? excuse you dude. try 12 hours labor, 1 hour pushing. and no epidural and no narcotics neither. and then you gotta heal from being all torn Down There which is not exactly fun.

and it was 8 months straight of vomiting and he got exactly zero sex of any sort for a little over 9 months and in between trying to help me eat at night and helping me turn over in the sling the last 3 months, he didn't have NOTHING easy

- arkitekton,

i never heard of a "husband's knot" before. all i know is when i had the babies it tore me UP and i did get stitches. i don't think they sliced me before either baby head came out. but i can say that after i looked it up i don't think that the OB did anything besides put me back together because i don't really think i am different from what i was before i got pregnant and all the stuff i just read look like a grrrl has got trouble if they do that. of course the stuff i read was written by a woman who is offended by the word "vagina" and calls it something else i never heard of - so who knows...

it is true that if the babies awake, they will move if you tap your belly where they are.

and guapo,

what is your problem with breast feeding? BF is great

Thanks for your thoughts, chick. Tying the knot, as it were, always made sense to me, but I had never heard before that there might be complications and, of course, since it's not my body it's easy for me to express a preference.

I have nothing against breastfeeding, but it was painful (for my wife at least)

edit: I meant to write, "it's too easy for me to express a preference."

There are a few interesting comments above that I'd like to reply to.
1) "One hour"?????? I second what baseball chick said: my wife's first labor took two days. The second one took more like two hours, so that's not far off.
2) Any man who takes a picture of his wife during that period shouldn't just be divorced, he should be banned from breeding.
3) I was there for both births, and I wouldn't have missed them. Sometimes you don't have a choice: the second one decided to come out faster than we expected, so I had to "catch" her myself. I knew all that baseball would come in handy. The ambulance arrived ten minutes later.

I've told fathers-to-be not to sweat watching the birth--that you're so focused on your wife and new arrival that the other stuff is simply pushed into the background.

Guess not eh?

When I saw both my daughters be born and the only light-headedness I felt was when my wife cut off the oxygen to my brain during a contraction while accusing my parents of not marrying and my suffering from an Oedipus Complex.

I found the whole process to be amazing (save for my wife's cradling the afterbirth and saying "He looks just like you").

I shudder to think of what would happen if Miss Frizzle were to have a baby--would she tell her class to take chances, make mistakes and get messy?

Best Regards

John

I found the whole process to be amazing (save for my wife's cradling the afterbirth and saying "He looks just like you").

Now this is funny.

Great story. Before I pass it around... you're not pulling my leg, are you?

Absolutely not.

That said... I'm assuming her kicks were lucky shots, or that she was kicking everywhere but I was only aware of the ones that hit me. But it's much more fun to think of it the other way.

I'll be there to watch my wife give birth if she promises to watch me pass kidney stones.

I've been told by someone who has been through both that the pain is quite similar. She actually said kidney stones were worse, but I'm going to assume she thought that because labor was a more distant memory.

try 12 hours labor, 1 hour pushing. and no epidural and no narcotics neither. and then you gotta heal from being all torn Down There which is not exactly fun.

Our second child: 8 hours, vaginal birth, no tearing, no episiotomy. Sounds easy, except for one thing: 10 lbs 5 oz.

I'd put my face right up to my wife's belly, and say "Marco". Then my daughter would kick right where I was.

My dad played that with me when I was in utero. But I didn't kick back. I'd crack my knuckles and do arm farts instead.

She actually said kidney stones were worse, but I'm going to assume she thought that because labor was a more distant memory.

Kidney stones are worse. I've heard the same thing from women who have had both.

Well, if the pain is similar at the end of one you have a new life, someone to love and care for and amaze. At the end of the other you have some calcium. I can see this influencing which you think was worse.

The kidneys are so overloaded with pressure receptors, bunyon. Any excess pressure on the kidneys gets extremely painful. So you can imagine what actually passing a stone through the wall must feel like. At least the birth canal dilates for you.

My dad played that with me when I was in utero. But I didn't kick back. I'd crack my knuckles and do arm farts instead.

Do you hold the World record for in-utero leg presses?

I made it through the birth of my two kids without a second of queasiness or lightheadedness. Then in February my daughter smacked her forehead into a corner, which required 10 stitches. I passed out right after she did it and came close a second time when the stitches were being put in. My daughter: calm as the a placid sea.

Guapo,

sorry your wife had trouble. when you first nurse your baby, the pressure from the suck is, um, shocking - think of putting your youknowwhat in a vacuum cleaner. and it make you cramp when you REALLY didn't want no more cramping from that area. but after the first couple of times, it is just great. and - i don't know the right word - relaxing??? i got no idea how to explain it but all i can say is grrrls who don't got no idea what they missing

- grinning

besides, it gives you a great excuse to throw everybody out of the room and make them give you your babies back

VI -

i gave birth to 10 lb 5 oz also except with me it was divided in 2. just the thought of trying to push out something that huge freak me out. i disbelieve i would have huge babies like that - my mama didn't and she's a big grrrl too

- and as for your man being with you when you deliver -
labor itself bad enough so if you got a man who is a pain in the ass and doesn't really want to be there, best he just not be there. besides, if he ain't, he gonna owe you. BIG time

hehhehheh

if i could do things the way i want them, i'd just want me and one of my gf. nobody else. i get 2 days alone with my baby no phone no visitors then i go home and deal with all the noise/chaos etc. but husband really REALLY want to be there and he be more of a nervous wreck if i told him no. and he already nervous enough staring at the strips, upset that i'm hurting like that and nothing he can do about it... and ALL your relatives/friends want to be there to come in and call all day and night and between them and the nurses you don't hardly get no rest, no sleep and everybody grabbing at your babies is real stressful too.

I ended up in the doghouse at both of my kids' births. My wife was induced both times. The first time, I ate Arby's in front of her while we were waiting for the cervix to dilate, and she hadn't eaten all day. The second time, I sure as hell wasn't going to eat in front of her. I got bored, though, and put my feet up on the edge of the bed.

Chateau Bow Wow.

The docs didn't exactly cover themselves with glory, either. After our son came out (9lb 14 oz), he said, "Wow, he's really big. Maybe we should have done a C-Section."

The second doc walked in as my daughter was crowning, wandered around and said, "Has anyone seen my pager?"

I was there, though, for the births. It was a great experience and I'm glad I did it. Also, they were both born on Sunday nights, so I got to contrast my wife's pain with my own as I listened to Joe Morgan.

deadball

actually i think that OBs would like to give every woman a c-section unless you can finish labor before they get the papers signed

they kept insisting that i have a c-section - heck they told me at 32 weeks i would HAVE to have one - before i went into labor ONLY because i was having twins and i am a small woman. i told them that i am the same size as my grandmother and she had 17 kids and 3 sets of twins and i wasn't gonna get slashed for no reason.

SERIOUSLY pissed them off

they tried to get me to sign the papers after i been in labor for 5 hours told me i "wasn't going anywhere" and i said - got THAT right

they tried to get me to sign the papers a couple more times too even though there wasn't nothing wrong with the babies

they just want to move you along like you on a grocery belt and you holding up the line

------------

grinning

i wish MY husband had got bored and relaxed a little but he was pretty busy telling me to not worry and telling me i was gonna be OK and tellin me to breathe and tellin me maybe i should just go get cut and so i put him to work answering the phone telling everyone i was fine and hadn't had the babies yet and also keeping everyone out of the room and going back and forth to the waiting room and telling the nurses and medical students and whoever else they were that yes we DID have big families

The Red Sox will win a game in Sept. and she'll aske me if that means the season is over and they won the championship.

i swear to g-d my gf has done the same thing. cards won a game last sept. and she said same thing verbatim.

which is really irksome cuz she was sitting in the same room with me when they won it all in '06. so she should know better.

i told them that i am the same size as my grandmother and she had 17 kids and 3 sets of twins and i wasn't gonna get slashed for no reason.

I think that you should have this in your signature.

I shudder to think of what would happen if Miss Frizzle were to have a baby--would she tell her class to take chances, make mistakes and get messy?

You are disturbed. Who comes up with a MSB reference in a childbirth thread? I'm going to work The Frizz into your eulogy thread somehow.

wish MY husband had got bored and relaxed a little but he was pretty busy telling me to not worry

Oh, I was full of dugout chatter once we got the show on the road. I've never gotten any complaints from the wife on that end. It was just the sitting around all day Sunday waiting for the Pitosin to kick in where I came up short. We rolled in at 8 am and didn't push until evening. With my son, she pushed for 2 1/2 hours. With my daughter, about 2 1/2 seconds. According to my wife, my son was about the size of that boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

She still won't watch the Orioles, as they were on that night. Oddly enough, the Indians played during both kids' birth, but she's cool with the Tribe. She associates Orioles baseball with unbelievable pain.

deadball,

- laughing like heck

my sons barely over 5 lbs and trust me on this they ALSO felt like that boulder. and let me tell you after they both out, i felt like i just won the worlds strongest person championship. or like i just threw 180 pitches for a 16 inning no-hitter AND drove in the game winner with an inside the parker. TWICE IN A ROW!!!!

- grinning
and after they got the babies out and quit messing with them and FINALLY handed them to us husband looked at me and said - damm, i'm beat
NOW i think that is hilarious although at the time i was simply too exhausted to do more than glare

but you know, some females have an easier time than others. one of my gf has had 4 kids and she really don't even HAVE labor - she breaks her water and about 2 hours later theres the baby.

which is really irksome cuz she was sitting in the same room with me when they won it all in '06. so she should know better.

some women just take pride in the sports illiteracy, phred. It just sounds like we got stuck with two of them.

Which isn't bad, in it's own way. I probably wouldn't like her as much if she was a big sports fan, but ignored her appearance or some other aspect of the female persona.

My son's mother had a c-section. She'd been pushing for about nine hours and was exhausted. I was on the same side of the curtain as she was as they pulled Mini-Manny out. When he was halfway out they invited me to look at him.

Alien was exactly what I thought of. But I did get to see him roll over as he was weighed, much to the nurses' astonishment, and then because his blood sugar was off I gave him a bottle of formula, all of which he drank, again to the astonishment of the nurses.

It's one of my favorite memories.

scotto

believe me i understand exhaustion. and pain. but i was too effing stubborn to give up. although i would have if they had told me the baby life in danger if i didn't. but they were fine. it was the doctors who were not fine

and yeah babies all covered with blood and slime when they come out and they need to be cleaned off. what is weird is sometimes they do and sometimes they don't and they just hand the baby over all bloody and covered with that sticky slime.

i can't stand that. you should be able to wipe the baby off and clean him right away. one of cousins, i went in with her and the baby came out covered with bowel movement and they didn't even clean THAT off just handed her over in dirty blankets - and they don't even give you clean towels to clean the baby off with

The docs didn't exactly cover themselves with glory, either. After our son came out (9lb 14 oz), he said, "Wow, he's really big. Maybe we should have done a C-Section."

My wife just had our first 4 weeks ago ... 37 hours from start of induction to baby. (I ate in her room, took a nap at night, she was cool with it.) In the middle of the parade of people checking out my extremely modest wife's nether areas, a resident came in and said, "Hi, I'll be assisting Dr. Van Gory with the birth. I just figured I'd introduce myself to you now while you're not screaming in pain." Her bedside manner could use a little work.

believe me i understand exhaustion. and pain. but i was too effing stubborn to give up.

It was at the point where the baby's heartrate suggested that it was necessary. They delayed it for a couple of hours while acting increasingly concerned.

The Alien reference is less to the blood and slime than it was to seeing this head and shoulders coming out of the abdomen, like in the movie. Plus the wrinkly face and the slightly football shaped head from having been pushed against the uterine exit.

They did clean him off before I held him though. I was glad for that.

BD

you know that is another thing i hate about having a baby - a freaking endless number of i don't even know who they all are wanting to mess with your parts. after a while you can't remember who they all are

scotto,

i bet they clean off babies they gonna hand to a MAN. but he was born in the operating room. i went with one of my gf to her c-section and they handed to the baby right away to the pediatricians on this little table and after a while they come over and showed us the baby before taking her to the nursery. but she was all wrapped up already. they didn't give you the baby in the operataing room did they?

i was told that even a hundred years ago, 1 of 9 babies and or mothers DIED from pregnancy or childbirth. that is the normal death rate for our species (without medical care.)

scary

I never heard the term husband's knot before, but I did draw quite the glare from lady spike when I asked the doc to throw an extra stitch or two in for me

they just want to move you along like you on a grocery belt and you holding up the line

For a C-section, they mostly control what happens. For vaginal birth, I think nearly all they can do is react - and if something bad happens and there's not enough time to react, they'll get sued for not having done a C-section. I don't blame them for pushing for it, given all that. Doesn't make your life any easier having to insist over and over for what you want, but if that's the worst thing it's still a good day.

i bet they clean off babies they gonna hand to a MAN.

In our case they cleaned off a little, handed the baby over to mrsidiom while they attended to her and cleaned/prepped the rest of the room, then took back the baby for more cleaning and swaddling. It was about 10 minutes elapsed time.

In both cases I waited until then to take pictures, and even then I only took pictures of the baby. It's kinda nice showing the pictures to the kids now, and saying, "You were ten minutes old in this picture."

Between that and the Marco Polo story, my daughter loves to hear about all this stuff - but not nearly as much as I enjoy telling it.

PS: I'd briefly typed "Marco Polio" above. I caught the error before posting, but I got enough of a chuckle out of it that I thought it was worth sharing.

My son's mother had a c-section. She'd been pushing for about nine hours and was exhausted. I was on the same side of the curtain as she was as they pulled Mini-Manny out.

I've been through one of each (vaginal, c-section) and this is the trick right here. Stand by her head and don't even look down there. When the nurse asks if you want to cut the cord, say "NO".

I was fairly proud of myself. My wife had a section, and, at one point, I dared to steal a glance on The Other Side of the Curtain, and I was fine. I was more concerned about the anvil head my son was sporting upon arrival. I was told 100 times it would go away, but it was still a little unsettling. That bothered me more than all the viscera lying about.

my son was born by c-section too. no way i was going on the other side of that curtain for anything. i hung on to my wife's hand the whole time.

I was more concerned about the anvil head my son was sporting upon arrival. I was told 100 times it would go away, but it was still a little unsettling. That bothered me more than all the viscera lying about.

OMG dude. To this day, if I am with my dad and meet someone he knows but I have never met, the conversation goes like this:

Dad: This is my son.
Other person: Nice to meet you. (handshake)
Dad: When he was born, he had the biggest conehead. I thought I was stuck with a conehead for life...

I'm not gonna type the whole thing, but there's about 15 more minutes of my dad's soliloquy about my conehead that goes on before anyone else is allowed to talk. If he's had a couple beers, maybe he'll also tell the person he thought they took off too much of my foreskin as well.

My son had to deliverd by c-section too, after about 20 hrs of labor. His head was just too damned big. They even tried the suction cup on the head thing and the tongs to get him out of there but no go. We were aftraid the palcenta would separate and he woulld get oxygen starved so they did the c-section just to be on the safe side.

The poor little fella had bruises around both temples and eyes, where he was trying to squeeze through the pelvic girdle. but he made it like a champ and was a very healthy 7 lbs, 6 ozs, even though he was a month premature. I'd hate to think what trouble we would have had he gone to term.

bbc, they did give me the baby in the operating room. They pulled him half way out, invited me to take a look (Alien!), and then told me to sit back down. Once they'd cut his cord they took him to get cleaned, weighed, diapered, swaddled, and then handed him to me to carry to the recovery room.

I think they had me follow the nurse to get me out while they sewed her back up.

I was more concerned about the anvil head my son was sporting upon arrival.

That's the thing ... I was prepared for "conehead." That's what everyone says. I'm picturing classic SNL. When my daughter first came out, with that peanut/anvil shaped head (probably worsened, her head got a bit stuck and then the vaccuum had to be used), plus the blood and wrinkles, there was a nanosecond when I thought her brain was on the outside.

VI

yeah you right about THEM controlling things with a c-section. i think that is what really got to me. i felt like a cow in that song "rawhide" - round em up, move em on. or you know in the old cartoons how they show things moving on an assembly line

i wouldn't let absolutely ANYONE take pictures until the babies cleaned, i was cleaned, fix my hair, some lipstick and then with everyone there and all the cameras and video recorders you would have thought i was roger clemens about to give a press conference to confess each and every sin he ever committed in itsy bitsy detail

my kids LOVE to see their pics when they were just 1 hour old (close enough) and the pics of them in their little astros onesies. and they like the story of how their daddy brought home their baby shirts for the dogs to smell before they come home and barry lamar dog most wagged his tail clean off he was so happy and how all the dogsss argued about who got to get their pic taken FIRST with the kids or how they used to use each other to figure out how to roll over. they like to hear their uncle telling them stories bout when their mami was a baby too

- smile

us human beings sure do like to hear stories don't we?

one of the (many) reasons i love joe poznanski's blog. joe tells great stories about everything, he surely does

-------
wxrl

you daddy he NEED to find another story to tell. because ALL first babies born with cone heads. or he need to talk to a "professional" bout why he so - um, stuck on that little detail about you. i mean, the cone is gone after the first day. and if he THAT obsessed with your youknowwhat the dude might could need to, you know, maybe like find something else to think about. i mean, he's worse than a GRRRL

i felt like a cow in that song "rawhide

Don't try to understand 'em
Just rope, throw, and brand 'em
Soon we'll be living high and wide.
My hearts calculatin'
My true love will be waitin',
Be waitin' at the end of my ride.

Rawhide!
Rawhide!
Yah!!!

bbc - My dad's an idiot, I know. He has about four things that he says, and that's it.

1) I had a conehead.
2) The San Jose Sharks need to fire their coach and GM.
3) When he's cooking a meal, he curses under his breath nonstop.
4)

Ok, he only has three things he says. And he says them over and over and over and over.

He claims I'm aloof when in fact I just don't talk respond much to these things because I'm so tired of them.

kevin,

he woulda been a green monstah
hehhehheh

scotto,

one of my gf brothers he went to a c-section with his gf (the poor boy didn't want to but she INSISTED) and they told him to stand up and look and so he did and i hear tell that when he saw them pulling that bloody looking alien thing out of his woman he fell out - and unfortunately he fell kind of forward over the curtain and onto her and i guess kind of made a mess

of course she was furious and the other guys were all - oh hey man, you shouldn't never look Down There

but at least it wasn't as bad as the guy who puked all over the floor

all this talk makin me want to go have another baby

this is EXACTLY what is wrong with You People

i can't stand that. you should be able to wipe the baby off and clean him right away.

Thought that was to help the little critters stay warm for a few minutes.

i was told that even a hundred years ago, 1 of 9 babies and or mothers DIED from pregnancy or childbirth. that is the normal death rate for our species (without medical care.)

Yeah--I've got a couple of friends who live in a cabin at least a 1/2 mile from the road (and from their car), and from their car it's half an hour to the hospital. She'll have her first baby around the end of June, and they plan to have the baby born in the cabin. No midwife, no doctor... Have to say I'm somewhat concerned.

I never heard the term husband's knot before, but I did draw quite the glare from lady spike when I asked the doc to throw an extra stitch or two in for me

It does seem like a win-win...

Barry (not that Barry) for President! (arkitekton) Posted: May 07, 2008 at 05:15 PM (#2772644)

i can't stand that. you should be able to wipe the baby off and clean him right away.

Thought that was to help the little critters stay warm for a few minutes.

- he gonna get colder if he is wet i would think. they don't even put the hat on right off


i was told that even a hundred years ago, 1 of 9 babies and or mothers DIED from pregnancy or childbirth. that is the normal death rate for our species (without medical care.)

Yeah--I've got a couple of friends who live in a cabin at least a 1/2 mile from the road (and from their car), and from their car it's half an hour to the hospital. She'll have her first baby around the end of June, and they plan to have the baby born in the cabin. No midwife, no doctor... Have to say I'm somewhat concerned.

- i understand hating doctors and hospitals trust me on this

but if something goes wrong, they got a dead baby and that grrrl won't never forgive herself. NEVER. NEVER. and they gonna blame each other too. it is bad enough when you miscarry even early. or the baby dies inside you and they don't know why and all you got is giving birth to a dead baby. but IF you could have had a normal healthy baby that didn't have to be dead if you just had a doctor there?

my husband's sister - when she had her third - and she hadn't had trouble with the first 2 or this pregnancy or labor. but when the baby come out it was blue and not breathing and good thing they could call the pediatricians right away to come and rescue the baby. my SOL said it was over 10 minutes before the baby moved or cried. and they said he was fine before that.

and this is why if i ever agree to get pregnant again that the baby will be born in the hospital and there is NO freaking way i would ever have one at home on purpose

your baby daughter was born in the hospital, right? were you there with your gf?

Yeah--I've got a couple of friends who live in a cabin at least a 1/2 mile from the road (and from their car), and from their car it's half an hour to the hospital. She'll have her first baby around the end of June, and they plan to have the baby born in the cabin. No midwife, no doctor... Have to say I'm somewhat concerned.


That is just stupid. As mentioned above, pregnancy is still a complicated condition and delivery is still one of the trickiest procedures around. Too many things can go wrong.