He really seems like a nice kid (and inteligent in his own way).

Hopefully he'll have a good life (with his back story, I wish him a good life more than good luck at baseball).

Agree - loved his high school quips - same happens out here

Man. You know you're socially awkward when you hate lunch when you're in high school. I mean, high school wasn't altogether great for me socially, either, but I at least found solace in lunch.

I'll always root for this kid.

Lunch in high school wasn't so bad...I could just go home and eat. Junior High was torture, they MADE you eat with everyone in the whole school...ugh.

Q: You know how beauty pageants have the part where the contestant might go, "If I had a chance to save the world, this is what I'd do"? What would you do, Zack Greinke, to make the world a better place?

ZG: [Long, thoughtful pause]. Tough one, obviously. If you had a good leader that could reach people and convince as many people as possible to act a certain way and somehow get them to pass it on to other people and then have those people pass it on ... I don't know how you actually get that started but one of the guys running for president right now seems like a pretty good place to start.

Q: Is that an endorsement for ... ?

ZG: No one. I don't feel comfortable doing that. But he seems like a good place to start.

I knew it.. Greinke's supporting Trevor McKinney for President.

Man. You know you're socially awkward when you hate lunch when you're in high school. I mean, high school wasn't altogether great for me socially, either, but I at least found solace in lunch.

He did all right by it, though.

Greinke's an interesting interview. The logic always tracks, it just doesn't always start at the point you're accustomed to. He seems like a nice guy, and about 10% more honest than he needs to be when answering any particular question.

Brandon (#5): Did you see that the hotlink in Greinke's answer goes to a website flogging Christopher Walken for president? Clever.

ZG: No one. I don't feel comfortable doing that. But he seems like a good place to start.

Q: Do you always remember to take your meds?

That wasn't so cool. Zack seemed to take that one in stride, but I think it was uncalled for.

Tough one, obviously. If you had a good leader that could reach people and convince as many people as possible to act a certain way and somehow get them to pass it on to other people and then have those people pass it on ... I don't know how you actually get that started but one of the guys running for president right now seems like a pretty good place to start.

Oh snap, Hitler's running for president?

Is his girlfriend any relation to PGA Tour player and former US Amateur Champion Matt Kuchar?

Someone needs to link to that old audio interview of him talking about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's breakup. Hilarious. "No, no, no, no, no!!!"

Zack's girlfriend = hot (bikini pic)

She certainly looks like a baseball player's wife, anyway.

She certainly looks like a baseball player's wife, anyway.

Well played.

That wasn't so cool. Zack seemed to take that one in stride, but I think it was uncalled for.

The side effects he mentioned were dead on, though.

Fine, I'll do it myself. Zack interview from 2006 I think

ZG: No one. I don't feel comfortable doing that. But he seems like a good place to start.

It's amazing how he can talk using hyperlinks.

Zack's girlfriend = hot (bikini pic)

Maybe it's just me, but that picture is not hot at all.

Maybe it's just me, but that picture is not hot at all.

It's just you. She was also a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, I believe.

Maybe it's just me, but that picture is not hot at all.
It's just you. She was also a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, I believe.

No, it's not just Lassus.

Maybe it's just me, but that picture is not hot at all.

I don't expect everyone to think she's hot, but yea, really athletic paegent participating blondes tend to be considered attractive by a large majority of men.

I don't expect everyone to think she's hot, but yea, really athletic paegent participating blondes tend to be considered attractive by a large majority of men.

Did you just call me gay?


Naw, I'm kidding. Just not my type.

Yeah, overly scrawny, the hair looks fake and so do the teeth. Not my cup of tea.

sharp knees

I'd let her make me breakfast.

She looks 40 in that photo. She's not unattractive, but I was completely underwhelmed.

So Zack went to high school with this girl?

And he's still with her, and she's still hot?

This is where the binary scale comes in handy. Start with that, then worry about gradations of beauty ("hot" vs. "smoking" vs. "mildly appealing, I guess, but not my cup of tea," etc).

Because on a binary scale, she's a 1. (As are roughly 50% of the women on the planet). She's attractive. Without knowing what she's like as a person -- is she smart, does she have a sense of humor, etc. -- it's entirely understandable to not find her overwhelmingly attractive. (Tastes are different, and so forth. This is why we deal with the gradations of attractiveness second). But she's definitely attractive.

If you don't think she's "attractive," perform this experiment: go outside, look at the first 10 women you see on the street (i.e., you don't know them -- personality matters not one whit). I strongly suspect that, on average, the above woman is more attractive than five of them for almost any straight man/homosexual woman who honestly tries the experiment (though some wise-guy will probably work in Hawaii or right outside a modeling agency or whatnot and will skew the results).

Then, with virtually everyone agreeing she's a 1, not a 0, everyone will be less stunned by the inevitable "okay, but she's no Angelina Jolie/Pamela Anderson/Rachel McAdams/Liv Tyler/Lauren Bacall/Raquel Welch/Katharine Hepburn/Lena Horne/Jane Darwell/Betty Rubble/etc., and she's not even close" "yes she is!" fight that will happen.

I strongly suspect that, on average, the above woman is more attractive than five of them for almost any straight man/homosexual woman who honestly tries the experiment.

Manhattan in general usually ruins this experiment. Or Brazil.

Anyhow, I'd agree with Shooty's take, and that picture just isn't my type. Probably not made up, professionally lit, and with that rictus of a manufactured smile I'd find her pretty cute. But not in that picture.

Because on a binary scale, she's a 1. (As are roughly 50% of the women on the planet).

The flaw in your premise lies here.

but the truth is that darn near any one of all yall would probably not turn her down if she asked you and you weren't with some other woman

The flaw in your premise lies here.

I suppose. My amplifiers also only go up to 10.

Q: Why was lunch so bad?

ZG: I just had to communicate with all the people. It's the time to "try to be cool" and everything. I just don't go out of my way to be like that. I was not good at that stuff. There were other people I wanted to sit with more than the people I "had" to sit with. I remember bringing some of my other friends to our table and everyone at our table would look at them and ask me, "What are you doing? Why'd you bring him?" It was annoying high school stuff that still goes on now. My high school was really bad.

Not the experience of most star high school athletes, I'd say.

Oh God is Chipotle bad.


I'll never be able to settle anywhere other than the Bay Area. I can't get a good burrito anywhere else.

It's interesting how despite being a little quirky for a professional jock he has exactly the kind of girlfriend one expects a professional jock to have, ironic considering that anecdote about the high school lunch tables. (Of course perhaps there's lots about her that we don't know.)

I was thinking the same thing, Answer Guy.

The hotness discussion started with someone saying "That picture is not hot at all."

Emphasis on picture. That picture is not hot, mainly because that is the fakest smile I've ever seen, and also because that is a very odd hairstyle for a woman under 40 in the 21st century, especially someone who probably spends most of her time trying to optimize her hotness.

The smile and the hair combining to create an odd impression of middle-agedness which clashes with the body.

She's probably gorgeous in real life, of course.

She really should eat a sandwich, though.

Naw, I'm kidding. Just not my type.

Just from that one picture, not my type at all either.

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More pics

I'm not into the blonde model type, either, but she's definitely a 1 on Machemer's scale.

Of course, my scale often pings like a geiger counter at Chernobyl.

Jeez, she looks old.

I can understand if the whole "corn-stalk blonde beauty pageant tanned" woman isn't your cup of tea, but that woman is good-looking.

I can understand if the whole "corn-stalk blonde beauty pageant tanned" woman isn't your cup of tea, but that woman is good-looking.

You know, after looking at all those pictures, and even despite one or two of the bikini pictures being quite lovely, a high enough percentage of the rest of them just would not make me describe her as good-looking. I'd say "pretty".

I agree she's attractive, but she has got to quit smiling, it ruins nearly everything positive she has in the looks department.

Great interview - dude is resonating with me. And the political-endorsement photo links are brilliant.

I can understand if the whole "corn-stalk blonde beauty pageant tanned" woman isn't your cup of tea, but that woman is good-looking.

She has a smoking body and is good looking, but you have it exactly right with the "corn-stalk blonde beauty pageant tanned" thing. It's a generic, horrible look and it makes her look old. And it isn't the age, because there are stunning older woman. I guess it makes her look dated more than old. Either way, it's her look that ruins it.