Braiiiiinnssss. Musttt eeeatttt braaiiiiiins.

Oh and pass.

J. P. Howell doesn't look like closer material to you? 13 BB 40 K in 32 innings isn't good enough to close (with Percival out)? Ooookay.

How can one become a zombie if one spends their entire life in their mom's basement??? To become a zombie you must be bitten by a zombie. Living in mom's basement prevents any kind of human/zombie contact!!!

How can one become a zombie if one spends their entire life in their mom's basement??? To become a zombie you must be bitten by a zombie. Living in mom's basement prevents any kind of human/zombie contact!!!

Mom could get bitten, and then get you when she comes down to collect your suspiciously stained tube socks on laundry day

a pitcher who they can bring into a game with a one-run lead and the bases loaded against the Red Sox and feel confident he’s going to get them out of trouble. (They do have someone for that, but his name’s Scott Kazmir and they’re not going to put him in the bullpen, I don’t think.)

David Price has some experience in that situation too. But I don't think he's going back to the bullpen either.

Edwin Jackson traded for whatever he will bring while his value was high seemed like a good idea at the time, but hasn't worked out so well - looks like he's a bit more than a replacement level pitcher. If he were around I wonder if Neimann could be a closer. Maybe Wade Davis can go to the pen.

And I don’t mean a guy to accumulate the meaningless save stat, they don’t have a closer----a pitcher who they can bring into a game with a one-run lead and the bases loaded against the Red Sox and feel confident he’s going to get them out of trouble. (They do have someone for that, but his name’s Scott Kazmir and they’re not going to put him in the bullpen, I don’t think.)

Ah, so now we've moved past Joba and are just haphazardly converting front of the rotation pitchers all around the league to relievers. Nice.

Well, the Rockies hit like the Rangers and better than the Marlins. And as bad as Washington is, their offense is respectable. Of course no one hits better than the Rays.

Last night they beat a Rockies team that was due for a loss after winning a stunning 11 straight games.

If I wasn't a zombie, my brain would be imploding.

If I wasn't a zombie, my brain would be imploding.

Be careful, the brains that you ate might explode, giving you some really nasty indigestion.

also zombie rats.

Stat zombies I assume was one of Repoz's rejected band names.

Ah, so now we've moved past Joba and are just haphazardly converting front of the rotation pitchers all around the league to relievers. Nice.

First, he didn't say they should move Kazmir to the pen -- that might be what he meant but all he's saying is that he could fill that role. Second, Kazmir is now a front-line starter who has missed reasonable chunks of time in 3 of the last 4 seasons due to injury. Not huge chunks, not Kerry Wood sized chunks, but enough to make it worth considering whether he'd be less fragile in the pen. With Price and Davis on the way, that rotation's getting crowded.

Mom could get bitten, and then get you when she comes down to collect your suspiciously stained tube socks on laundry day

Where are these women, who continue to do laundry even after they've been turned into zombies?

Ladies and gentlemen, the poster who submitted this article is a link-troll. The first time he did this, he submitted his (agonizingly stupid & ignorant) work from another site. Now he seemingly has found somewhere else to hit-whore from. Note the blogpost-to-comment ratio (6 to 5). Also, the link doesn't lead to the specified article, but rather to the troll's home page, where a massive advertisement for his own book is prominently featured. And this isn't the first time he's linked to this site in this way: either that place is his own site or that of a friend/business partner. Either way it's unethical as hell, and I'm tired of seeing people abuse BBTF like this. Even if it only happens once in awhile, it's unacceptable.

"Goeaglesxxxix," this site is not for you, it's not for you to pimp your worthless book, it's not for you to EVER, EVER, EVER submit article to, and please go to hell. You are a cynical scumbag and you ought to be banned from BBTF forever.

Goddammit I hate people who do this. I would publicly shame them if it was possible.

poster who submitted this article is a link-troll

Sweet. Trolls vs. zombies.

Where are these women, who continue to do laundry even after they've been turned into zombies?

Connecticut

Where are these women, who continue to do laundry even after they've been turned into zombies?

Where are these women who do laundry before zombification?

Wait, what?

I've gotta have a chat with Mrs. Loungehead.

I've gotta have a chat with Mrs. Loungehead.

I'm prepared to bet that chat will end with you doing the laundry.

zombies need clean clothes, too

Rotting zombies are not half as icky as the Mel Hall thread.

There is no way I would take the other side of that bet.

Esoteric, I actually posted 2 of MINE *knowingly*. One on Beltran, and one on Tex seeing more fastballs. The other three were submitted, but I had no idea what I was doing at the time. I thought they needed to be accepted, not just submitted to be published. So before you write, think. And seriously? ""Goeaglesxxxix," this site is not for you, it's not for you to pimp your worthless book, it's not for you to EVER, EVER, EVER submit article to, and please go to hell. You are a cynical scumbag and you ought to be banned from BBTF forever."

Go to hell because I submitted two of my works knowingly? And two of this guy's works? This guy is a good writer, who also is more of the old school thinking. I feel like he will initiate some good discussion. Plus, he was posted on here twice before I ever posted on here. I'd call you an idiot, but that would not be my style.

The website linked to is hilarious. Its like a geocities page from the 1990s.

Oh, nm.

Who does Winston Abreu have to hump to get called up?

Abreu is on Tampa's roster.

Go to hell because I submitted two of my works knowingly? And two of this guy's works? This guy is a good writer, who also is more of the old school thinking. I feel like he will initiate some good discussion. Plus, he was posted on here twice before I ever posted on here. I'd call you an idiot, but that would not be my style.

1.) The author's supposed "old school" thinking is idiotic, not merely old school. It will engender nothing but mockery here, not intelligent discussion.

2.) This is the second time you've linked an article from that site, and it CANNOT BE AN ACCIDENT that each time you failed to include the actual article's permalink, but rather sent any clickthrus to the general page. The only reason to do this, as someone who knows how the web-biz runs, is to drive up pagehits, to get readers to view multiple articles on the site, or (more particularly in this case) to pimp something on a main page. In this case it's obviously this writer's awful book. Whether you actually happen to be this guy or are just in a pay-for-play arrangement with him is irrelevant to me: what IS relevant is that nobody violates this self-evident canon of article submission twice with the same site for anything other than ulterior motives. You reveal yourself by your actions, and denials only make you appear more self-consciously guilty.

3.) Finally, your track record speaks for yourself. As those who know me here will attest, I'm actually a reasonably laid-back milquetoast sort of dude 99% of the time, even in political debates. I only lose it when I see people who are transparently abusing the BBTF system. For whatever reason -- I can't even fully explain it myself -- it's the one thing guaranteed to bring down my white-hot holy hellfire upon someone. You can claim ignorance of the rules, but that's no excuse. Do NOT submit crappy articles. Do NOT submit gen-links. Do NOT editorialize at length on articles you submit. Do NOT let your submission-to-comment ratio approach 1:1 the way yours has unless your name happens to be Repoz or Dan Szymborski. Be a good citizen, PLEASE.

P.S. Why yes, I AM having a bad day. How did you know?

There is no permalink, man. That is why I didn't submit it. Go to his page and see, unless I am overlooking something. And no, Paul Lebowitz is not me. My name is Joe, not Paul.

There is no permalink, man. That is why I didn't submit it. Go to his page and see, unless I am overlooking something. And no, Paul Lebowitz is not me. My name is Joe, not Paul.

Dude, the date/time stamp at the bottom of each post is a permalink. I refuse to believe that you're this ignorant about how blogs work. Nobody who could actually figure out how to submit an article to BBTF would fail to know that.

By the way, the person--you--that just told me to "go to hell" just said he is "reasonable." Reasonable? Really man? Sounds pretty reasonable to tell someone that. Maybe you should concentrate on that 1% of the time, rather than the 99%.

Then I claim "ignorance." I did not know that. And I actually have my own site.

The website linked to is hilarious. Its like a geocities page from the 1990s.

I enjoy it's stream of (un)consciousness style similar to Time Cube.

I like how his images are like 8 mega pixels and then he forces the browser to resize them. Now that's some good web development.

My name is Trevor, not Dominic.

There are also apparently two home pages.

Paul Lebowitz just screamed at me to stay off his lawn.

Then I claim "ignorance." I did not know that. And I actually have my own site.

That's, uh, what "ignorance" means. Why the quotes?

Because he originally said it. I was quoting him.

My name is Cornelius, not Cochise.

Go ahead, Cornelius, you can cry.

My name is Kunta Kinte, not Toby.

I don't suppose this idiot noticed that the Rays have the 3rd best bullpen ERA in the AL.

a pitcher who they can bring into a game with a one-run lead and the bases loaded against the Red Sox and feel confident he’s going to get them out of trouble

Look up J.P. Howell sometime. On some teams he'd be the closer but he's not the official game-ending guy for the Rays because he's far too valuable in the role he's used for now (which is more or less what a lot of people here think is the way that all managers should be using their top reliever).

I am Spartacus!

My Name is Earl

My name is not Susan.

a pitcher who they can bring into a game with a one-run lead and the bases loaded against the Red Sox and feel confident he's going to get them out of trouble

I love the absurdity of that standard. With no one out even 1990 Dennis Eckersley blows that lead, what, 75% of the time?

P.S. Though I live on the second floor, my name is not Luka. My name is Qfwfq.

Hello my name is Susan. I just got out of a men's prison. I want to poke out your eye and make love to your skull

ETA: This must be the good discussion, eagles was looking to initiate.

Why does Repozbot 2000 let links like this one through?

Furthermore, why is the poster's name a reference to the losing team of the 2004 Super Bowl? As a fan of that team I do not approve of this.

Don't call me Shirley.

I lied before. My name is...my name cannot reduced to the Latin alphabet, nor indeed to written language of any form. It cannot even be spoken properly, for it encompasses more than sound. My name is the names of the gods. My name is the elements of the universe. My name is yesterday and tomorrow. My name is the time you punched the wall. My name can be found in a grain of sand yet cannot be contained by the night sky. My name can keep sinners warm in the winter, while scalding the saints. My name is the love a retired ball player can have for a nubile young woman. My name is steroids, needles, bathroom stalls, and Olympic-style testing. My name, my name

My name is...

[COMMENCE MUSIC]

I really am Joe C, but I'm not really free.

The Rays should stay in the hunt to the end.

My name is Jonas.

My name is Bunny Wigglesworth, not Ramon Vega.

Are you carrying the will?

My name is Jonas.

So you're carrying the wheel?

I've been trying to get people to call me Freddy Knuckles, but people keep calling me Right Said Fred.

My name is mud, but call me alowishus devadander abercrombie

my name is Coot, not Cot...

but Betty when you call me you can call me Al.

My name is pronounced "Throat Wobbler Mangrove."

There are those who call me... Tim?

My name is Paul Lebowitz.

Furthermore, why is the poster's name a reference to the losing team of the 2004 Super Bowl? As a fan of that team I do not approve of this.

That would/could explain your fondness of Rodney Harrison. I loved your "pack of wild dogs" quote from earlier today. I whole-heartedly agreed with it.

His name is Robert Paulson.

My name is *what?* my name is *who?* my name is...Slim Shady.

Links submitted by other people do have to be approved (normally by Repoz or Dan, but any of us who have keys can approve). I tend to take a harder line on links that don't go directly to the article or that link to a poster's own work - we have one guy that I know of who has submitted 15 links, all to his own site - and I really think that we should have a policy that you can't link to your own work more than once. I've had little support when I've suggested that in the past.

-- MWE

They call me Ishmael.

I find that annoying.

My name is not Prince...and it damn sure ain't Victor!

you know my name
look up the number

Don't call me little bastard. Call me snake.

My name is Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla and I'm looking for pronouns.

My name is Jim, but most folks call me Jim.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Some people call me Maurice.

They call me hell
They call me Stacey
They call me her
They call me Jane

That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

Call my name! Bastian, please! Save us!

you know my name
look up the number

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Some people call me Maurice.

:)