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1. Craig K
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 11:20 AM (#3009136)
Out of a helicopter?
2. Craig Calcaterra
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 11:32 AM (#3009165)
Hope he had permission to leave the country while out on bail.
3. Ryan Jones
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 11:34 AM (#3009169)
Is he using a gun, or is he just chasing them on foot and wrestling them to the ground?
4. Craig Calcaterra
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 11:36 AM (#3009172)
Dude couldn't run down a 25-bouncer to left field near the end there, so I'm guessing the former.
5. Tom Nawrocki
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 11:38 AM (#3009178)
Woe betide to any deer that happens to run within firing range of Barry's Barcalounger.
Woe betide to any deer that happens to run within firing range of Barry's Barcalounger.
I was talking to a semi-survivalist co-worker of mine about the start of deer season down in NC. This guy has a tree stand on his 140 acre property and wastes a morning every year and gets a deer every few years. He said a guy down the road has a TV in his tree stand with sensors in the woods. I could picture the Bonds tree stand with his barcalounger, with off-season clubhouse attendants to run out and dress the deer on the spot.
If he doesn't bag one, was it because the moose were using common sense or were they colluding against him?
Best Regards
John
10. pthomas
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM (#3009211)
BARRY BONDS CONTINUES TO SELL NEWSPAPERS...FILM AT 11.
11. Ryan Jones
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM (#3009212)
Dude couldn't run down a 25-bouncer to left field near the end there, so I'm guessing the former.
I don't care that he can't run much anymore - I'm happier with the image of him loping through the woods, until his prey crosses into his field of vision, at which point he bursts into a sprint and brings the unsuspecting beast down with a quick bite to the neck.
12. phredbird
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 12:09 PM (#3009241)
you see this? this ain't something else! this is this!
Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM!! A f***in' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would you give a f*** whether the son-of-a-***** who shot you was wearing baseball pants?
The thing about wild deer meat is that it's not full of all those growth hormones they put in farm-raised animals. If there's one thing I know about Barry Bonds, it's that he likes to stay away from those kinds of substances.
15 posts in, and this is already the funniest and most rewarding Bonds thread of the past four years or so. I especially like:
This is certainly the most personable side I have seen of Bonds in years.
...because, for Bonds, even slaughtering Bambi is a step in the right direction.
18. phredbird
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 12:55 PM (#3009305)
wtf? nobody got my reference!!??!!
hmf. you guys are not great cinema aficianados. and i mean cinema, not movie pitchers.
19. Gamingboy
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 12:56 PM (#3009306)
I don't care that he can't run much anymore - I'm happier with the image of him loping through the woods, until his prey crosses into his field of vision, at which point he bursts into a sprint and brings the unsuspecting beast down with a quick bite to the neck.
Are you sure you aren't thinking of what Todd Helton does every morning when he wakes up? I mean, do you honestly think Barmes' meat was gotten by somebody SHOOTING a deer?
By the way, I wonder how kevin would view all of this?
20. BFFB
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 12:57 PM (#3009307)
Screw the barca-lounger I bet barry has one of these bad boys!
21. zenbitz
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 12:58 PM (#3009309)
Ladies and Gentlemen... your 2012 Republican VP candidate!
22. Gamingboy
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 12:58 PM (#3009310)
Also, before anyone asks: The Obituaries are for any deer that dare get in Barry's way.
23. tribefan
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 01:04 PM (#3009313)
if this thread won't bring kevin back, nothing will
wtf? nobody got my reference!!??!!
hmf. you guys are not great cinema aficianados. and i mean cinema, not movie pitchers.
I got VLMJ's reference; is that close enough?
25. Gonfalon Bubble
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 01:19 PM (#3009332)
"My name is Bawwy L. Bonds, miwwionaiwe. I own a mansion and a yacht.
Hey, Gweg the twainer. Be vewwy, vewwy qwiet. Huh huh huh huh huh!"
26. Gamingboy
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 01:20 PM (#3009333)
Uhhhhhhhhhh.... tribefan. "Sorry" to burst your bubble, but kevin is still banned, I believe. Happened during the Post-season. Can't remember all the details. But it probably involved Dustin Pedroia in some way.
27. Chris Dial
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 01:28 PM (#3009342)
kevin is still banned
No, he isn't. Lifted the 10th.
28. robinred
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 01:32 PM (#3009348)
For those who missed it, kevin emailed me and said he is choosing not to return to BTF.
29. Gamingboy
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 01:34 PM (#3009351)
Oh, didn't know that Chris. I guess he isn't coming back then, Robinred.
Well, I posted the same info yesterday--he said it was OK for me to inform people. Acccording to kevin, Backlasher has also decided not to come back.
Ah ... wasn't around much yesterday.
Backlasher I'm gonna miss. I didn't always agree with him but damn he was fun to read. I least I can read Retardo's blog--does anybody know if Backlasher maintains one?
Edit: Repoz being Repoz ... RDF.
Best Regards
John
35. Gonfalon Bubble
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 01:56 PM (#3009374)
I don't know what to make of the last several posts because I, like most of us on this site, have no reading comprehension.
Thus ends BTF's random abuse department. It's time to switch over to Being Hit On The Head lessons in here.
kevin emailed me and said he is choosing not to return to BTF
Maybe to start basketballthinkfactory.org?
37. phredbird
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 02:18 PM (#3009394)
--huh? this is this! what the hell is that supposed to mean? This is this! I mean is that some f@ggot sounding bullsh!t or is that some f@ggot sounding bullsh!t!
--hey shut up stan, willya? hey man, you're outta line!
--watch out with that gun, stan, watch out with that gun ...
--there's times, you know what i think? you know what i think? there's times i swear i think you're a f-king f@ggot!
--hey come on you guys!
--last week, last week he coulda had the new redheaded waitress at the bowl-o-dome! he coulda had it knocked, and look what he did. look what he f-kin did. nothin, that's what.
--shut up, stan!!!
38. Kirby Kyle
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 02:22 PM (#3009397)
We'll see how Barry likes it when the deer just stands there and takes four wide ones.
Hey, this thread just reminded me that I'm going to see the "Deer Hunter" on the big screen next Wednesday. For all you Philly folks, that's the Ambler theater in well, Ambler. It might also be playing at the Bryn Mawr or the County in Doylestown on different days, since those three are all part of the same non-profit organization.
40. Al Kaline Trio
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 02:33 PM (#3009407)
Speaking of missing posters, where is the cookie monster? He was always my favorite.
41. Al Kaline Trio
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 02:35 PM (#3009410)
What led to kevin and Backlasher departing? I saw an offhand reference somewhere about kevin being suspended, but have never heard if that's true or why.
Hey, this thread just reminded me that I'm going to see the "Deer Hunter" on the big screen next Wednesday.
Are you sure that they won't be showing The Big Lebowski?
44. Barry`s_Lazy_Boy
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 02:49 PM (#3009426)
kevin was suspended for a month for some comment at the end of a long political thread. the comment was basically the straw that broke the camel's back.
kevin must be taking all his personas away if he is announcing backlasher ain't coming back.
Are you sure that they won't be showing The Big Lebowski?
What a remembery. Can I lose either way?
Will they be showing that via VHS Dream or through a Moon Witch Cartridge?
If I had any clue what you are asking, I could ask my son who works there when he's home from school. Or is it one of your references to punk bands that nobody but you ever bought an EP from? :)
48. Repoz
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 03:10 PM (#3009458)
Or is it one of your references to punk bands that nobody but you ever bought an EP from? :)
Nah...just two songs off the "new" leaked Deerhunter CD.
49. TerpNats
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 03:23 PM (#3009472)
Too bad he wasn't hunting moose -- not for the Sarah Palin reference, but for Woody Allen. (Still one of the funniest stand-up routines ever, despite the outdated punchline.)
50. villageidiom
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 03:42 PM (#3009492)
Instead of shooting the deer, perhaps he could just rub some flaxseed oil on it.
51. Gamingboy
Posted: November 14, 2008 at 03:46 PM (#3009496)
Instead of shooting the deer, perhaps he could just rub some flaxseed oil on it.
Reader Comments and Retorts
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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.
I was talking to a semi-survivalist co-worker of mine about the start of deer season down in NC. This guy has a tree stand on his 140 acre property and wastes a morning every year and gets a deer every few years. He said a guy down the road has a TV in his tree stand with sensors in the woods. I could picture the Bonds tree stand with his barcalounger, with off-season clubhouse attendants to run out and dress the deer on the spot.
It does extend the Ted Williams parallels that Chris Dial often talks about.
Best Regards
John
I don't care that he can't run much anymore - I'm happier with the image of him loping through the woods, until his prey crosses into his field of vision, at which point he bursts into a sprint and brings the unsuspecting beast down with a quick bite to the neck.
hmf. you guys are not great cinema aficianados. and i mean cinema, not movie pitchers.
Are you sure you aren't thinking of what Todd Helton does every morning when he wakes up? I mean, do you honestly think Barmes' meat was gotten by somebody SHOOTING a deer?
By the way, I wonder how kevin would view all of this?
Hey, Gweg the twainer. Be vewwy, vewwy qwiet. Huh huh huh huh huh!"
Best Regards
John
Well, I don't exactly have access to your e-mail account now do I genius? :-b...
Shame, I hate when posters feel they're not welcome.
I mean, I don't exactly have warm 'n' fuzzies for everyone here but I hate the thought that someone feels excluded.
Best Regards
John
He has moved on to FJM.
Well, I posted the same info yesterday--he said it was OK for me to inform people. Acccording to kevin, Backlasher has also decided not to come back.
Ah ... wasn't around much yesterday.
Backlasher I'm gonna miss. I didn't always agree with him but damn he was fun to read. I least I can read Retardo's blog--does anybody know if Backlasher maintains one?
Edit: Repoz being Repoz ... RDF.
Best Regards
John
Thus ends BTF's random abuse department. It's time to switch over to Being Hit On The Head lessons in here.
Maybe to start basketballthinkfactory.org?
--hey shut up stan, willya? hey man, you're outta line!
--watch out with that gun, stan, watch out with that gun ...
--there's times, you know what i think? you know what i think? there's times i swear i think you're a f-king f@ggot!
--hey come on you guys!
--last week, last week he coulda had the new redheaded waitress at the bowl-o-dome! he coulda had it knocked, and look what he did. look what he f-kin did. nothin, that's what.
--shut up, stan!!!
Are you sure that they won't be showing The Big Lebowski?
kevin must be taking all his personas away if he is announcing backlasher ain't coming back.
"Whaddaya mean you shot a black and white deer?"
"Deer aren't racist--you just missed."
"I'm sure you would have liked to have one of these in the clubhouse but I don't think there's a 'media season.'"
"Let this be a lesson--three shiny leaves most assuredly do not make a good substitute for toilet paper."
"I don't think Mr. Gomez is going to buy that excuse if he survives. Not many deer wear sports jackets with ESPN logos on them."
"That thing that looks like your arse at BALCO is called a porcupine."
"Nice shot Barry, but I have to level with you--that old commode is gonna look damned silly mounted on your wall."
Best Regards
John
Will they be showing that via VHS Dream or through a Moon Witch Cartridge?
What a remembery. Can I lose either way?
Will they be showing that via VHS Dream or through a Moon Witch Cartridge?
If I had any clue what you are asking, I could ask my son who works there when he's home from school. Or is it one of your references to punk bands that nobody but you ever bought an EP from? :)
Nah...just two songs off the "new" leaked Deerhunter CD.
Roided Deer of DOOM!
It's a great record, isn't it?
Sigh. Us Jay fans gotta dream of having a power hitter come here somehow.
Amen.
are they watching us right now?
Are you sure that they won't be showing The Big Lebowski?
No, actually it's Taxi Driver. I sure hope this isn't early onset Alzheimer's. GAH. At least the two movies I confused today have the same star.
Woooo!
Roided Deer of DOOM!
This was never clever and is now the most annoying thing on the site.
i'm sure kevin is.
Only song I've heard off it is "Nothing Ever Happened", which was blogged at 17 seconds, but I really like it...
EDIT: I am the biggest idiot ever!!!!!!11111oneoneoneone
so's your mom.
EDIT: And Mike Crudale.
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