If Jeter really wanted to win, he'd spend the offseason learning how to field.

How could you? Making out during Schindler's List?

It must suck being Derek Jeter.

They were making out on a veranda in full view of everyone, including several Orthodox Jewish families who’d come to see the religious artifacts.

If they stayed a little longer, they might have been treated to the viewing of a different kind of religious artifact.

Primey for No. 4.

Certain things can't be quantified.

It must suck being Derek Jeter.

Wasn't that what folks were complaining about?

Best Regards

John

Fist, pump!

The upset witness even claims security staff had to interrupt the loved-up couple and ask them to cool it.

Another eyewitness, a baseball statistical analyst, added that Jeter dove at the security guard, but the guard got past him.

"Marrying a woman in a traditional ceremony continues to be my main focus," Jeter said in a statement. "There are no individual sexual favors that can compare with the sanctity of marriage, and I look forward to working towards that challenge again in 2007."

Another eyewitness, a baseball statistical analyst, added that Jeter dove at the security guard, but the guard got past him.

I'm guessing what Anna Benson was doing to Michaelangelo's "David" went unnoticed. Someone was overheard saying that she sounded like she had marbles in her mouth...or something like that.

Best Regards

John

Marbles? How's that funny?

Marbles? How's that funny?

The statue is made of marble.

Best Regards

John

Justin Morneau would never have made this mistake.

You are so busted.

/Arod

Geez, kids, Get a room!

Clutch...

Jeter went into the hole to make a play on Biel.

Justin Morneau would never have made this mistake.

Billy Bean should have never made out with Jennifer Beals.

Jeter gets kidnapped at the Getty Museum...kidnappers demand $17 million from Yankees...Yankees refuse to pay...kidnappers cut off Jeter's left hand and mail it to the Yankees...Yankees finally pay up...Jeter reports to spring training...Yankees report no noticable dropoff in his fielding.

Repoz only posted this article because he hates PDAs (or maybe it's art museums...one or the other).

Jeter went into the hole to make a play on Biel.

She must have been sitting to right because he can't go left.

Billy Bean should have never made out with Jennifer Beals.

I think we can be certain that Billy Bean has no interest in Jessica Biel.

Billy Beane, on the other hand ...

Steinbrenner buys the Getty to quiet the uproar...

She must have been sitting to right because he can't go left.

Jerry: "I'm the opposite. Lefty, can't go right."

A 2nd hand reference to an unsourced National Enquirer story? Can't we at least get the New York Post version?

On second thought, this is just Jeterbashing - an art museum is NOT a church. It displays objects of aesthetic interest. The Getty is as popular for its architecture and scenery as it is for its exhibits.

The implication is that a date at the museum is akin to a date at a holy site. It isn't. It is far from that, in fact. This behavior would be more out of place at family-filled Disneyland than at the romance-inducing grounds of the Getty.

Having people get upset with you for making out with one of the most beautiful women alive = Building Your Legend

Having people get upset with you for having your lips turn blue during an October baseball game = Being a Gigantic Weeney No One Likes

Derek Jeter was given the best ticket possible in the genetic lottery. It's hard not to hate him, yet... Jesus, who wouldn't want to be him?

I'd buy "Derek Jeter's big book of pick-up lines"!

"Having people get upset with you for making out with one of the most beautiful women alive = Building Your Legend"


I have taken the liberty of bolding the portion of your comment which is completely, absolutely, and unequivocally false.

I have taken the liberty of bolding the portion of your comment which is completely, absolutely, and unequivocally false.

I dunno, Biel was awarded almost exactly that title by Esquire magazine. I think the burden of proof is on you

I blame A-Rod for not sticking up for his teammate during this difficult time. He should be speaking to Orthodox Jewish leaders, explaining why their fans should not be booing Jeter.

Missed headline opportunity:

"Jews cry foul over Yankee's randy johnson"

"I dunno, Biel was awarded almost exactly that title by Esquire magazine."

That speaks for itself.

Just when I think I can't find any more reasons to hate Jeter....he goes and does something to totally redeem himself.

one of the most beautiful women alive

Agreed

NEWMAN!!!!!

This should move Jeter up in Cowley's eyes as Most Valuable Playah! Jeter definately is a player.

It was shocking. They were making out on a veranda in full view of everyone

Chevy: Where did you kiss her Derek?
Derek: On the veranda.
Chevy: I would have kissed her on the lips.

I'd buy "Derek Jeter's big book of pick-up lines"!

Why? It's one page:

"Hi, I'm Derek Jeter. Suck it."

I'm reminded of Eric Idle on SNL in the 70s hawking a book of Prince Charles pick up lines.

"Hi, I'm the Prince of Wales."

I picture Joe Pesci in Casino giving the Sshowgirl the tour of his restaurant. Only Derek giving the girl a tour of Yankee Stadium.

BIEL & JETER UPSET SERIOUS ART FANS WITH MUSEUM LOVE SCENE

I consider Jessica Biel a serious work of art.

My friend claims to have seen Jeter in a club one time hit on some guy's wife. He then brought her back to his limo and let his bodyguards deal with the enraged husband.

My friend claims to have seen Jeter in a club one time hit on some guy's wife. He then brought her back to his limo and let his bodyguards deal with the enraged husband.

I've been saying for a while that on account of all the happiness Derek Jeter has given me over the years, if he wanted to sleep with me, I'd do it. Of course, now that I think this through, something like this makes a lot more sense. My girlfriend would make Derek happy? Well, it's only fair

"I've been saying for a while that on account of all the happiness Derek Jeter has given me over the years, if he wanted to sleep with me, I'd do it. Of course, now that I think this through, something like this makes a lot more sense. My girlfriend would make Derek happy? Well, it's only fair"

I have an agreement with my...whatever she may be that if either one of us sleeps with Derek Jeter, the other can't get mad, but I'm pretty sure if he did sleep with her, in front of me like that, I would stop liking him. I wouldn't try to kill him cuz of the what he's done, but I'd be bitter as hell.

My friend claims to have seen Jeter in a club one time hit on some guy's wife. He then brought her back to his limo and let his bodyguards deal with the enraged husband.

If this is true, that's an incredibly immoral thing to do. That would justify the cuckold husband shooting him, IMO.

If this is true, that's an incredibly immoral thing to do. That would justify the cuckold husband shooting him, IMO.

Are you OJ Simpson, by any chance?

Are you OJ Simpson, by any chance?

The question is, what would you do?

It sounds like you would react like a craven jellyfish, just accepting another man kicking you to the curb while he ###### your wife.

The OJ analogy doesn't work for 3 rather obvious reasons:

1) Nicole wasn't married to OJ at the time.

2) Even if she were, Ron Goldman didn't hire thugs to physically intimidate OJ while he wisked Nicole away.

3) I'm not advocating killing the wife too.

If this is true, that's an incredibly immoral thing to do. That would justify the cuckold husband shooting him, IMO.

See, kevin? You could learn to adjust in life under Shir'ia law, you've already got some of the sprit down!

See, kevin? You could learn to adjust in life under Shir'ia law, you've already got some of the sprit down!

There isn't a jury in the country that wouldn't see that as justifiable homicide.

I know it's difficult for you, RB, but could you at least make some passable effort as writing something marginally thoughtful sometime?

If this is true, that's an incredibly immoral thing to do. That would justify the cuckold husband shooting him, IMO.

You have it backwards. Shoot the wife, she's the one that betrayed you. The guy was just trying to get laid.

Yeah but Jeter is threatening you with thugs. To me, that crosses the line. I would put that on a par with breaking into your house to rob you.

If Jeter wants to get laid, there are plenty of single women about. Married women are off-limits and he should know that and respect the institution.

It sounds like you would react like a craven jellyfish, just accepting another man kicking you to the curb while he ###### your wife.

So the only solution is to kill him? Are you serious? I really wonder if you're legally insane.

If that happens and the wife agrees to this, it's quite simple. Dump the piece of #### ##### that happily ##### another man with you knowing.

And of course if Jeter did do this he is complete scum.

You have it backwards. Shoot the wife, she's the one that betrayed you. The guy was just trying to get laid.

Well, your first point is correct. "Jeter" could have anyone and he has to have your wife? And since he can have any woman, like a superhero, he has to use that power wisely. Like Superman winning bar bets arm wrestling. The wife is not blameless here, but that's a pretty shitty thing to do.

Yeah but Jeter is threatening you with thugs. To me, that crosses the line. I would put that on a par with breaking into your house to rob you.

No, the thugs were there to keep the estranged husband away.

If Jeter wants to get laid, there are plenty of single women about. Married women are off-limits and he should know that and respect the institution.

The person respecting the institution of marriage should be the person that's part of it, not the other person. Why should Jeter respect it if the wife didn't?

Kyle, why do you always respond to my posts as though you suffer from a combination of dyslexia and and complete lack of reading comprehension? Did I say it was the only answer?

Do you think it's not OK to shoot someone who is trying to steal your wife away from you by force with the aid of hired thugs?

If you do, you are the one that's insane. Or a coward, either one.

Do you think it's not OK to shoot someone who is trying to steal your wife away from you by force with the aid of hired thugs?

If you do, you are the one that's insane. Or a coward, either one.

Except if this is true, the wife willingly left with him. It would make Jeter a horrible person IMO, but no, it is not worth shooting him. Unless you're insane.

Do you think it's not OK to shoot someone who is trying to steal your wife away from you by force with the aid of hired thugs?

If that were the case, it'd be perfectly justified.

The problem is that this isn't what Jeter did.

The person respecting the institution of marriage should be the person that's part of it, not the other person. Why should Jeter respect it if the wife didn't?

That has to be among the top 5 most absurd things I have ever read here, assuming you are serious. But that's why I love this site; everything's black and white. Everyone is either totally blameless or totally innocent.

No, the thugs were there to keep the estranged husband away.

They weren't estranged. They were out together for a night on the town. This is a one-nighter for Jeter, a light frivility.

Why should Jeter respect it if the wife didn't?

Because grown men are expected to exhibit some basal level of integrity and ethics.

Kevin:

This "RB" isn't runningbyrd, I think, but maybe you knew that already. And while I don't condone shooting the guy, I take your point. You've got to go out fighting in that situation. OTOH, I don't believe the story at all. It's preposterous. Were it true, it would've been in the tabloids at minimum.

Do you think it's not OK to shoot someone who is trying to steal your wife away from you by force with the aid of hired thugs?

Michael Dukakis says: It's a trap!

OTOH, I don't believe the story at all. It's preposterous. Were it true, it would've been in the tabloids at minimum.

Neither do I, which is why is used "Jeter" in my post.

If that were the case, it'd be perfectly justified. The problem is that this isn't what Jeter did.

Let me quote the pertinet section of Why's post:

He then brought her back to his limo and let his bodyguards deal with the enraged husband.

I'm assuming that, since the husband was enraged, the bodyguards were there to physically restrain the husband while Jeter made a clean getaway. In this respect, the bodyguards were acting as mafia thugs.

This "RB" isn't runningbyrd, I think, but maybe you knew that already.

I do know that.

OTOH, I don't believe the story at all.

I really don't either. But you never know. A lot of stuff never gets in the papers.

kev, didn't you used to admire jeter's #1 fan for sticking by Jeter while the other Yankee posters would denigrate him?

I'm slightly more meaningful content than runningbyrd, but only just, espcially in the off-season. Anyway, the point at issue seems to be the role of the bodyguards. But it seems pretty clear to me

Jeter and Wife: Leaving together, both pretty lousy
Husband: Wants to take a swing at Jeter, understandable
Bodyguards: Paid to keep people from--fairly or not--taking swings at Derek

Calling them "hired thugs" seems kind of low, and silly besides, bodyguards can't be moral relativists when it comes to these things

Oh, and I don't believe it either. If the husband is angry enough to try and take on bodyguards, he's angry enough to find a way to get this into Page Six

I had a point with #66, but I forget exactly what it was. I think that I was trying to say that kevin seemed fonder of Jeter a couple of years ago.

Oh, and I don't believe it either. If the husband is angry enough to try and take on bodyguards, he's angry enough to find a way to get this into Page Six

Or Deadspin.

Come on. The Jeter/bodyguards story is completely implausible.

Of course it is. It's beyond the pale that it remotely happened and got kept quiet. But it's funny.

shooting a guy that's cuckolding you? that's crazy talk.

shooting a guy that's cuckolding you? that's crazy talk.

Perhaps.

Shooting a guy using bodyguards to aid and abet said cuckolding? Not as much.

A man comes home from work, and finds his wife in bed with another man. He pulls a gun from the night table, and shoots his wife.

The investigating detective asks him, why did you shoot her, and not the man?

He replied, "better to shoot one woman, than a different man every week."

Oh, by the way:

See, kevin? You could learn to adjust in life under Shir'ia law, you've already got some of the sprit down!


There isn't a jury in the country that wouldn't see that as justifiable homicide.

Man, I'm from Texas. People are pretty trigger-happy and conservative around here. But I guarantee I can find 12 people who thinks that's completely deserving of being convicted of manslaughter. I'd be one of them.

Some guy ####### your wife deserves quite a few things. Getting killed isn't remotely one of them.

There isn't a jury in the country that wouldn't see that as justifiable homicide.

I would not want to be the one trying to convince a NY Jury that shooting Jeter was justified -- unless you pack the jury with all Mets fans.

Now if it was in Boston, I think the Grand Jury might refuse to even indict.

Shooting a guy using bodyguards to aid and abet said cuckolding? Not as much.

No, unless your wife is being forced to do something, that's still crazy.

How come nobody's in favor of shooting the bodyguards? They're the ones hypothetically roughing up the husband. "Just doing our jobs", my eye.

shooting a guy that's cuckolding you? that's crazy talk.

Based on what I learned in the Claussen thread, I think the USA should invade the husband.

How come nobody's in favor of shooting the bodyguards?

'cause they'd shoot back?

Based on what I learned in the Claussen thread, I think the USA should invade the husband.

I never went there. Can you sum it up?

Based on what I learned in the Claussen thread, I think the USA should invade the husband.

Or Jessica Linden's uterus.

How come nobody's in favor of shooting the bodyguards?

Well, how many bullets does this guy have? I mean, you figure it's going to take 3 or 4 to make you do the job on a demigod like Derek, a big, angry bodyguard is bad, a big, angry bodyguard with a minor bullet wound that is painful but incapcitating is much worse

'cause they'd shoot back?

Hey, no one said it would be easy. But it seems to me that even if you're dead-set on shooting Jeter (and, BTW, I'd like to say "Hello!" to the FBI agent who's now reading this thread), you'll have to get past the bodyguards somehow.

BTW: I'm sorry Kevin's not still here. I'd love to ask him how the Celtics looked tonight. David Lee, Kevin!!! Isiah > Ainge, on the court, and in the FO. (Ok, so maybe not)

Celtics! Knicks! Come watch a game that meant something once!

Celtics! Knicks! Come watch a game that meant something once!

No kidding.

David Lee, Kevin!!!

How did Lee end up with 8 Assists. When he was in college he couldn't pass gas.

Well, how many bullets does this guy have? I mean, you figure it's going to take 3 or 4 to make you do the job on a demigod like Derek, a big, angry bodyguard is bad, a big, angry bodyguard with a minor bullet wound that is painful but incapcitating is much worse


That is why the second amendment is so important. You can't use a rifle for that situation. Everyone needs a glock in case Derek Jeter tries to invade their wife. Our founding father's understood this type of stuff.

So now we know why some Red Sox fans are such Jeter-haters. They're afraid he'll steal their wives and girlfriends.

How did Lee end up with 8 Assists. When he was in college he couldn't pass gas.

Guys hit open shots. The Celtics must've defended very poorly. Lee's been great, however. He's a keeper. Isiah actually looks like a pretty good talent evaluator.

I never went there. Can you sum it up?

Yes. The Americans are the elected people of the universe. Derek Jeter is, amongst Americans, the Chosen One. If a person messes with Jeter, this person obviously hates freedom. This person should be invaded, so democracy can be restored. It's all for this person's own good.

So now we know why some Red Sox fans are such Jeter-haters. They're afraid he'll steal their wives and girlfriends.

I always thought of it like homophobes. They rabidly hate because secretly, it attracts them. And that scares them to the core.

Hey, no one said it would be easy. But it seems to me that even if you're dead-set on shooting Jeter (and, BTW, I'd like to say "Hello!" to the FBI agent who's now reading this thread), you'll have to get past the bodyguards somehow.

I wonder if Jetes' bodyguards would take a bullet for him. I also wonder whether they carry guns, but I have to assume the answer to that is no.

Some guy ####### your wife deserves quite a few things. Getting killed isn't remotely one of them.

I once had a girlfriend I was trying to get rid of for over a year, and when I found out that she was running around with my manager, I not only didn't kill him, I gave him a raise for the favor he'd done me. The poor guy didn't know what he'd stepped into. Listening to them come to me and complain about each other after they got married was my ongoing private soap opera, rife with constant amusement, until he slipped in a bathtub one morning, killed himself, and spoiled the show. Up to that point I felt like the burglar in The Ref, only without the cops after me.

Up to that point I felt like the burglar in The Ref, only without the cops after me.

Oh, I love that movie. A Christmas tradition in my house

I once had a girlfriend I was trying to get rid of for over a year, and when I found out that she was running around with my manager, I not only didn't kill him, I gave him a raise for the favor he'd done me. The poor guy didn't know what he'd stepped into. Listening to them come to me and complain about each other after they got married was my ongoing private soap opera, rife with constant amusement, until he slipped in a bathtub one morning, killed himself, and spoiled the show.

I'm a horrible person who thinks this story is really funny.

Did he slip, or did he "slip"?

I had a point with #66, but I forget exactly what it was. I think that I was trying to say that kevin seemed fonder of Jeter a couple of years ago.

I have a very negative attitude towards athletes that don't play defense. What makes it even worse is that he gets credit for being a great defensive player even though he isn't even average.

The reason I have this attitude is because, during my days playing hoops, a couple of very talented teams I was on had their chemistry destroyed by a teammate or two that were only interested in their points.

In this respect, I identify a lot with coaches like Parcells and Belichik and Larry and Hubie Brown, who will ride players who they think aren't focusing on the team concept enough. I'm amused by the comments that Parcells has been making about Romo. Romo has been lights out for him lately but to listen to Parcells, you would think he was throwing 5 interceptions a game. What Parcells is really doing is pre-emptively popping the ego balloon, of which Parcells is quite aware can ruin a team if it gets out of control.

I couldn't help notice the game the other night. Romo threw this laser touchdown pass to Terry Glenn. Glenn ran a beautiful pattern and Romo laid it right in there. So what happens? The camera pans to the bench after the play and there is Romo, smoothing the ruffled feathers on an obviously sullen Terrell Owens. If I were the quarterback and one of my receivers was complaining that I didn't throw to him on a touchdown play, I'd be tempted to kick him right in the nuts.

Kevin: Stick to the topic - how about those Knicks?

I have a very negative attitude towards athletes that don't play defense.

Not an Ortiz fan?

Not an Ortiz fan?

He is what he is. Jeter, on the other hand, could be a much better defensive player if he wasn't so stubborn about insisting on playing SS.