There is no category for this topic here. There is baseball, basketball, hockey, football, and auto racing, but there is nothing for topics of far more importance.
This, being my personal blog, has been about commentary on sports. It has never been about my views on matters outside of that.
And, it has never been a place where you would find anything personal. Today, that changes as I find myself placed in a new cause. It is one that touches myself, my family, and as I will outline below, a growing and alarming number of families.
Over the past year, our youngest son has not been developing at the rate that most children do. At first, we chalked this up to him just not accelerating at the rate of our first son, who was ahead of the curve. Now, coming up on the age of three, we saw that he was not communicating, even on rudimentary levels such as pointing when he wanted something. Only when prompted would he respond verbally to a very small list of known words. Things that we initially thought were cute were really signs of something else. There was the jumping up and down when he was excited, spinning in circles, and the one we thought was the funniest… never calling me “Daddy”, but rather, “Mamma. “
Given these signs, we met with his pediatrician and from there, other specialists. The diagnosis was that our son is autistic.
As my wife and family come to grips to this news, we now find ourselves in a life altering experience. The good news is that with early detection, one-on-one and what is called “mainstream” therapy, we can hope that our son will eventually be a productive part of society. What was alarming to me was the incredible trend of more and more being afflicted with this disability. There was a point where the word “autism” would elicit confused stares. Now, nearly everyone in America has a family member or friend touched by this disorder.
Based upon this, I am challenging all that have a platform to do so, to link to this news below, or pass it along. Call it the sports autism challenge, whatever. The hope is that by getting this news to as many as possible in the hope that others can be educated to this disability.
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Maury, I empathize with the place where you and your family are right now, and my prayers are with you. My wife and I have two sons with autism spectrum disorders (one with "classic" autism, and one with Asperger's Syndrome), and I can vividly remember the swirl of emotions that we felt when we were at the spot where you currently are.
I think this is a good time for families with autism, probably the best time ever. (Oh, and yes, I said families with autism; after all, virtually all of the issues are social, which means that even if my sons are the ones who relate to others differently than the norm, we all are involved). Awareness is growing, rapidly. Growing awareness leads to greater public empathy for families and increased research, above all, and both of those things are helpful. Even if we don't know much, we know more about sutism than ever, and we have more ideas of what helps those with autism to function in our culture. The change is happening swiftly, too - it is now rare for my family to suffer the stares, frowns, and judgmental head-waggings of others when one of my sons is "melting down" in a store, but when we started on this journey 3 years ago, we felt like pariahs everywhere. There is more public grace, patience, and kindness, in a very short time.
People are learning to think differently about a segment of our culture who behaves differently than the norm, and I think that's a good thing. Maury, I expect that you'll see the world differently now (as is often the case for those who endure unusual trials). I know that I do. For example (and I want to be clear that I don't intend to chide or criticize, but only to offer a different perspective): when I read "The diagnosis was that our son is autistic", a tape played in my head that said, "no child is autistic". Your son is not autistic; your son has autism, and that's a big difference that matters. Don't let his challenges define him; I bet he's beautiful in ways that could fill a column all its own. Also, whether your son looks like a neurotypical American one day or not, he's already a productive member of society. One of my sons is going to be able to do anything he wants in life, and for the other, the jury is still out, but both of them inspire and produce joy, empathy, kindness, patience, and generosity of spirit and material in the circles of society that they contact, and in that way they are part of producing a better world. That's a lot more than I can say for some of the businessmen I know.
Let me offer one piece of advice, Maury, even though I don't know you: start taking better care of your marriage, today, no matter how hard you've worked at it before. Research suggests that more than 80% of marriages with autism end in divorce. What you've got ahead of you is hard enough with both of you involved. You will come to days when you need each other more than you ever imagined. Nurture each other, so you have the energy for the challenges that autism will bring you.
Now, lest I sound too depressive, or post without baseball content, I am typing this after a lovely afternoon of playing baseball in the yard with my 7 year old "aspie", while my 5 year old climbed all the trees in the yard. And I couldn't have loved it much more.
I should mention that while we are understandably upset, we see him as the beautiful and fun-loving child that he is. The fear of the unknown -- the future -- is what is concerning to us. Might not show here well, but I'd like to think I have a sold amount of humor in my life. Most challenges in life are a bump in the road. Any adversity before this news has always been, "You get on the back side of it, and you look back and say, 'It wasn't that bad.'" It's not easy to see that with this. There is no "backside" -- the going through adversity with the idea that it will end.
It is all a matter of coping. I'm simply going to take what ever small shred of visibility I have and leverage the crap out of it by getting others aware. It's going to be educational, and enlightening. As I said to my wife, "The things that were normal milestones for our first son, will be incredible achievements for Travis. God bless the little things." Gives a whole different view as to what is a win. As the saying goes... Love the little victories in life.
Your family will be in my prayers. My 8-year-old son is autistic. Your comment that "normal milestones ... will be incredible achievements" is very true. Within the past 6 months to a year, my son has started asking me what's for dinner when I'm cooking in the kitchen. This is a <u>huge</u> milestone for him. You sound like you have a great attitude about this, which is so important. Good luck.
autism is pretty common. i don't guess theres real too many people don't know someone has an autistic child or has an autistic child.
i never know quite what to say
except i'm sorry to hear the news and i pray for strength for you and your family and i hope your child does well.
and speaking strictly from a mother's point of view, please don't let your wife blame herself because us grrrls bad to do that when we find out something wrong with our children...
You should ask for people to send in articles detailing their experiences with autism spectrum disorders. Quite a few parents here have children with autism, and quite a few members themselves have Asperger Syndrome.
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