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Monday, June 22, 2009

Deep Left Field: The worst days are here

Filling the air with pure thuribulum goodness...the latest from Sam.

We follow that septic sludge with Bud Selig’s most joyous #### you to Atlanta fans, our yearly parade of soul-grindingly annoying fans from the NEC. Three games of transplanted Yankee fans soiling the seats of our fair grounds, followed immediately by an equal dose of their paternal twins from Boston. Oh, joyous day. How can we, the unworthy denizens of Atlanta ever thank you Mr. Selig? If not for your ever-brilliant notion of making the World Series essentially meaningless by playing the leagues against one another in the middle of the summer we’d never have the chance to see all of the loud, obnoxious sprawl-eating invaders gathered together in one place like this! You’re the best.

I hate interleague play. I hate people who think a baseball stadium full of families is the proper place to get drunk and moan “Yoooouuuuuuk” like a water buffalo in heat. I hate anyone who thinks Derek Jeter deserves anything more than a good garroting. All of which pales as shadow compared to the burning summer sun that is my hatred for the man who unleashed this unholy calvacade upon us.

[sigh]

At least we get a “break” with Philly in town before the Mets faithful storm in from the upper ‘burbs and add a layer of self-loathing and little brother syndrone on top of the class and gentility we’d otherwise expect this week.

Repoz Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:11 PM | 205 comment(s)
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1. Joe C and the Pop Culture Portmanteau Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:29 PM (#3227968)

Yeah, games at Turner Field are much more fun when they are sparsely attended by indifferent fans.

The exceptions are when the "Kiss Cam" is on, or the signs in the park tell everyone to temporarily impersonate Florida State football fans. Then the crowd really gets into it!

2. tribefan Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:33 PM (#3227987)

I hate people who think a baseball stadium full of families is the proper place to get drunk and moan “Yoooouuuuuuk” like a water buffalo in heat.

But the Tomahawk Chop is still cool, right?

3. konaforever Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:35 PM (#3227989)

Whiner.

4. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:42 PM (#3228005)

No. I hate the chop too.

5. Tom Nawrocki Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:44 PM (#3228012)

Sam, you really need to just resign yourself to watching games alone in your basement. That's the only way you'll ever be with people you're willing to tolerate.

6. SoSH U at work Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:46 PM (#3228016)

As long as he hates interleague play, I'll give him a pass on the rest of the rather lengthy Things Sam Hates list.

7. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:49 PM (#3228018)

Tom, I don't have a basement. Basements are for losers. I hate basements.

8. Halofan Posted: June 22, 2009 at 01:55 PM (#3228033)

Angel fans all know that the jaded bitterness of the typical Braves fans is all that may truly await...

9. Random Transaction Generator Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:03 PM (#3228048)

Sam sounds a lot like this guy.

10. STEROIDS!!!!! Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:07 PM (#3228053)

He's right, the worst days ARE here. I hate All-Star time.

11. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:08 PM (#3228055)

For the record, I do have a disorienting aversion to mittens, but otherwise...

12. Superunknown Gary Geiger Counter Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:16 PM (#3228067)

Sam, you got a point about that "Yoooouuuuuuk” thing. That was old midway through '06 and I root for one of those detestful teams.

13. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:18 PM (#3228072)

Tom, I don't have a basement. Basements are for losers. I hate basements.

Hey, I laughed!

14. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:31 PM (#3228090)

I don't have a basement either, but I watch games in my crawlspace.

15. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:31 PM (#3228092)

To be clear, I don't necessarily detest the teams. The Red Sox have never done anything notably annoying to me, and I'm almost over 1996. Another decade, max. What I detest are the swarms of Red Sox and Yankee (and Cubs and Mets) *fans* who have moved into the greater Atlanta area (because you can't afford to buy a shanty shack in the NEC without pimping out your daughter to the mob) and flock to Turner Field for these games. I could probably get past the refusal to go all in on your new life - though I wouldn't countenance it, if you're going to move, pick it up and move, wuss - and maintain loyalty to former teams. But I can't deal with the refusal to abide by the norms of civilization in your adopted region. This isn't the Bronx, knucklehead. When you go out in public, act as if your parents taught you some manners.

16. phredbird

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:35 PM (#3228100)

SCHROEDER:
How are you today Sally?
SALLY:
I'm mad. I'm mad at the whole world.
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at everybody in the whole world?
SALLY:
I'm mad at everybody.
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at all the animals, and the birds and the fish? How 'bout all the trees and the flowers?
SALLY:
I'm mad at them too. I'm mad at everything.
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at the sky and the stars? Are you mad at the ground? Are you mad at all the rocks? Are you mad at cars and buildings, and TV, and circuses, and roller skates and bracelets?
SALLY:
You didn't mention jump ropes!
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at jump ropes?
SALLY:
I'm especially mad at stupid jump ropes! (she then pull the jump rope all the way out and it's all knotted up.)

17. Srul Itza Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:46 PM (#3228120)

Yeah, games at Turner Field are much more fun when they are sparsely attended by indifferent fans.

Well objectively, that is true, since post-season games are more fun.

18. Smiling Joe Hesketh Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:55 PM (#3228135)

When you go out in public, act as if your parents taught you some manners.

This, from the poster who emphatically stated in another thread today he wanted to stab an umpire in the neck. Repeatedly.

I'm beginning to enjoy your work, Sam, in spite of myself.

19. wjones Posted: June 22, 2009 at 02:59 PM (#3228143)

When you go out in public, act as if your parents taught you some manners.

This, from the poster who emphatically stated in another thread today he wanted to stab an umpire in the neck. Repeatedly.

What does one thing have to do with the other?

20. Tropical Storm Davis aka Quilvio "Ebola" Veras Posted: June 22, 2009 at 03:10 PM (#3228156)

Sam sounds a lot like this guy.

I thought that would link to Mad Max of "John Boy and Billy" fame.

21. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 03:13 PM (#3228160)

This, from the poster who emphatically stated in another thread today he wanted to stab an umpire in the neck. Repeatedly.

Again, for clarity, I stated repeatedly that I wanted to stab him in the neck, not that I wanted to stab him in the neck repeatedly. Totally different image.

22. Hubie Brooks (Not Really) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 03:19 PM (#3228166)

Come out for some good old fashion Southern hospitality @ the Ted and watch local boy made good, Jeff Frenchy Francouer.

No cussin' allowed y'all.

23. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 03:21 PM (#3228171)

Come out for some good old fashion Southern hospitality @ the Ted and watch local boy made good, Jeff Frenchy Francouer.

There's no need to go there, Hubie. That's just mean.

24. gef the talking mongoose Posted: June 22, 2009 at 03:46 PM (#3228199)

For the record, I do have a disorienting aversion to mittens,

I'll bet you meant to type kittens there, you monster.

25. T.J. makes a mochary or the sport Posted: June 22, 2009 at 04:08 PM (#3228232)

Come out for some good old fashion Southern hospitality @ the Ted and watch local boy made good, Jeff Frenchy Francouer.

If I were to come into Atlanta from out of state to see Frenchy, which airline do you think he'd recommend?

26. Shredder Posted: June 22, 2009 at 04:32 PM (#3228255)

What I detest are the swarms of Red Sox and Yankee (and Cubs and Mets) *fans* who have moved into the greater Atlanta area (because you can't afford to buy a shanty shack in the NEC without pimping out your daughter to the mob) and flock to Turner Field for these games.

Meh. I'm a transplant myself, so I don't mind the transplants so much. Which isn't to say I don't hate Red Sox fans (or at least, the faceless horde that is Red Sox Nation - Individual fans get a pass on a fan by fan basis). It's the people who have no connection with, for example, Boston, other than going there one time and really liking the city, so now they're Red Sox fans. Also, some decorum when they're guests in another team's building might be nice occasionally, but I've stopped aiming for the stars.

Tangentially, I also kind of detest people who move from one city to another, then won't shut up about how much they hate their new city, which is kind of the tone I get from the fans Sam describes. I mean, sure, I hate pretty much all Chicago sports franchises, but I love Chicago.

27. Adam M

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 04:47 PM (#3228271)

Tangentially, I also kind of detest people who move from one city to another, then won't shut up about how much they hate their new city

Yes! Attention transplanted Californians: if you don't like the way Portlanders drive (and yes, we are terrible drivers) you have two choices: shut the #### up, or go the #### back to California.

28. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 04:49 PM (#3228276)

shut the #### up, or go the #### back to California.

Californians can't ##### about anybody's driving.

29. villageidiom Posted: June 22, 2009 at 05:12 PM (#3228309)

Visiting team fans should cheer their team but otherwise behave as a guest in someone else's home.

If home team fans can't drown out the cheers of visiting team fans, they have only their fellow home team fans to blame.

30. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 05:18 PM (#3228319)

Visiting team fans should cheer their team

The problem, of course, being the manner in which NEC fans have been taught to "cheer."

31. B.G. Gamesh Reeks of Anti-Yankee Bias (w/Zombies) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 05:47 PM (#3228367)

though I wouldn't countenance it, if you're going to move, pick it up and move, wuss

So you root for the home team if you take in a Braves road game while on vacation, right?

It's the people who have no connection with, for example, Boston, other than going there one time and really liking the city, so now they're Red Sox fans.

Serious question: do people really meet a significant number of people who meet this definition of bandwagon fans? Because the ones I run across -- be they Red Sox, Yankees, Braves or pretty much any other successful team -- tend to be much more of the ilk that *does* have a connection, but they didn't really care or pay attention until the team got good.

32. SouthSideRyan Posted: June 22, 2009 at 07:51 PM (#3228558)

The problem, of course, being the manner in which NEC fans have been taught to "cheer."

What, did they not answer the call of "everybody clap your hands"?

33. Templeusox has reached his genetic threshold Posted: June 22, 2009 at 07:56 PM (#3228572)

Stop whining.

34. cardsfanboy

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 07:57 PM (#3228577)

Serious question: do people really meet a significant number of people who meet this definition of bandwagon fans? Because the ones I run across -- be they Red Sox, Yankees, Braves or pretty much any other successful team -- tend to be much more of the ilk that *does* have a connection, but they didn't really care or pay attention until the team got good.

I met several Braves fans that had no connection to the Braves during their heyday. Outside of that, not really, as mentioned in other threads I've barely ever met a Red Sox fan of any type, and almost all Yankee fans I met have a connection, and generally speaking only the Cubs have I met fans who had no connection to the team.

35. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 22, 2009 at 08:39 PM (#3228736)

Of the quadrennial of obnoxious fans, Cubs fans are by far the worst.

36. TerpNats Posted: June 22, 2009 at 09:56 PM (#3228950)

With the New England Evil Empire invading D.C. this week, I see where he's coming from -- but if the Nationals ever field a contending team, they won't have to worry about the ballpark being taken over by the visitors (just look at the Capitals for proof). Even in the Braves' heyday, I coulldn't really say that. If Atlanta fans showed the same passion for their pro teams that they reserve for Southeastern Conference football, they might sell out postseason games.

37. cardsfanboy

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 10:28 PM (#3228969)

If Atlanta fans showed the same passion for their pro teams that they reserve for Southeastern Conference football, they might sell out postseason games

isn't that kind of a myth, didn't Atlanta sell out post season series early on in their run, but after a few years the first round would not sell out.

38. SouthSideRyan Posted: June 22, 2009 at 10:41 PM (#3228973)

isn't that kind of a myth, didn't Atlanta sell out post season series early on in their run, but after a few years the first round would not sell out.

So how is that a myth?

39. cardsfanboy

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 10:45 PM (#3228976)

So how is that a myth?

well they did sell out for a while, but then the fans got tired of them so it's not like they couldn't sell out or didn't sell out just that the fans wanted better performance.

mind you, I still find that as reason to insult them, but I've been attacked plenty of times by Braves fan for repeating this that I figured I should just throw it out there.

40. Joe C and the Pop Culture Portmanteau Posted: June 22, 2009 at 10:49 PM (#3228977)

Of the quadrennial of obnoxious fans, Cubs fans are by far the worst.

On the flip side, as much as I don't buy the whole "best fans in baseball" thing, I feel as though I've met more nice Cardinals fans than those of any other team.

41. Frisco Cali Posted: June 22, 2009 at 10:50 PM (#3228978)

Californians can't ##### about anybody's driving.

They could, but they'd rather just shoot you.

42. CW uses it as a stick to beat someone with Posted: June 22, 2009 at 10:57 PM (#3228982)

mind you, I still find that as reason to insult them, but I've been attacked plenty of times by Braves fan for repeating this that I figured I should just throw it out there.

43. cardsfanboy

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 11:02 PM (#3228984)

Give no quarter and ask for none! That sort of carping on their part just means you're getting to them. Now, do you want to wake up some morning in a Smoltz jersey with what's left of your dignity sitting in a wastebin staring at you disgustedly? Or are you gonna fight? And are you gonna win?

My body would spontaneously combust if I ever put on a non-cardinal shirt. The only thing that would be good about wearing a Smoltz/Glavine/Maddux jersey is it gives you free reign to miss the toilet by 6 inches and call it in.

44. cardsfanboy

Posted: June 22, 2009 at 11:09 PM (#3228988)

I hate people who think a baseball stadium full of families is the proper place to get drunk and moan “Yoooouuuuuuk” like a water buffalo in heat.

I hate families who think a baseball stadium full of drunks is the proper place to bring their kids and expect a wholesome atmosphere.

45. Barnaby Jones Posted: June 22, 2009 at 11:18 PM (#3228990)

The Braves had more sellout playoff games in the nineties than any other team. Why do the fans hate baseball?

46. Lassus Posted: June 22, 2009 at 11:19 PM (#3228992)

if you don't like the way Portlanders drive (and yes, we are terrible drivers)

I've lived in Portland, Los Angeles, Seattle, San Francisco, Manhattan, and Denver and have traveled extensively to Miami, Boston, Chicago and also gone back and forth across the country in my car as repeatedly as Sam said he wants to get all stabby.

So, believe me when I say from extensive experience that you are indeed right Adam. Portlanders are terrible drivers. But they are even more than that. They are, without question, the worst drivers in the entire country, bar none.

Any disagreement of this fact is simply incorrect.

47. Sleepy supports S.S. at second Posted: June 22, 2009 at 11:37 PM (#3228999)

But the Tomahawk Chop is still cool, right?

it was mighty cool in october, 2006. And was pretty cool tonight. Thanks, braves, now win a couple more.

48. konaforever Posted: June 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM (#3229008)

The Braves had more sellout playoff games in the nineties than any other team. Why do the fans hate baseball?

Isn't this misleading since they probably played more playoff games in the 90's then anyone one else?

49. Barnaby Jones Posted: June 23, 2009 at 12:21 AM (#3229015)

I'm sorry if you feel I misled you.

50. Joe in Springfield Posted: June 23, 2009 at 01:48 AM (#3229052)

My body would spontaneously combust if I ever put on a non-cardinal shirt. The only thing that would be good about wearing a Smoltz/Glavine/Maddux jersey is it gives you free reign to miss the toilet by 6 inches and call it in.

Only a Cardinal fan would be so eager to piss on his bathroom floor that he would don a Braves jersey just for the opportunity to do so.

51. DLew On Roids Posted: June 23, 2009 at 06:22 AM (#3229074)

Why is it that the region that gave America lynching and cross burning thinks it has any lessons to teach the rest of us about decorum?

52. Jeff K. Posted: June 23, 2009 at 06:47 AM (#3229087)

Jesus.

But seriously, I don't quite see what one much has to do with the other.

53. Jeff K. Posted: June 23, 2009 at 06:50 AM (#3229088)

So, believe me when I say from extensive experience that you are indeed right Adam. Portlanders are terrible drivers. But they are even more than that. They are, without question, the worst drivers in the entire country, bar none.

Any disagreement of this fact is simply incorrect.

I lived in Salem. We weren't in Portland enough for me to claim detailed minutiatic (word coined) things about Portland drivers, but I remember enough to know that Austin drivers give them a damn good run for their money, and for the exact same reasons.

54. DLew On Roids Posted: June 23, 2009 at 07:14 AM (#3229093)

Jesus.

But seriously, I don't quite see what one much has to do with the other.

No problem! I'm here to help. Are you having trouble recalling that Southerners love to tell the rest of the country that they're better behaved and nicer than the rest of us--more decorous, if you will--or trouble wrapping your head around the idea that cross burning is a breach of decorum?

55. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 07:17 AM (#3229095)

Man, DLew, way to escalate a friendly smack-talking thread.

56. Pops Freshenmeyer Posted: June 23, 2009 at 07:20 AM (#3229096)

and for the exact same reasons.

Pot?

57. Jolly Old St. Neck Wound, Marching Through Georgia

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 07:39 AM (#3229105)

I'm always glad to read Sam's rants, if only to be able to keep my Sams straight.

Let's see: Sam Hutcheson is the straight one who seems to be the last surviving fan of the Atlanta Braves, and Sam M is the gay one who loves the Mets. Too bad they can't take over PTI for a week. Their first topic could be a sartorial critique of the size XXL Derek Jeter jersey.

58. Jeff K. Posted: June 23, 2009 at 08:28 AM (#3229138)

Are you having trouble recalling that Southerners love to tell the rest of the country that they're better behaved and nicer than the rest of us--more decorous, if you will--or trouble wrapping your head around the idea that cross burning is a breach of decorum?

Oh, neither. I'd disagree with the volume of the former that you seem to perceive, but that's beside the point. The two have nothing to do with one another. This columnist writing that Yankee fans are boorish has literally zero to do with cross-burnings perpetrated dozens or hundreds of miles and years away by other people. People in the North owned slaves, does that mean everyone in the country is disallowed from mentioning another's decorum or lack thereof? That's no big loss, but it'd be for a pretty ####### stupid reason.

59. Jeff K. Posted: June 23, 2009 at 08:28 AM (#3229139)

Pot?

And its long-term effects, yes.

60. Barnaby Jones Posted: June 23, 2009 at 08:49 AM (#3229153)

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of southerners have neither lynched anyone nor burned a cross.

61. Superunknown Gary Geiger Counter Posted: June 23, 2009 at 08:55 AM (#3229161)

I don't hate Red Sox fans (or at least, the faceless horde that is Red Sox Nation - Individual fans get a pass on a fan by fan basis).

That's all I ask for.

62. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 08:58 AM (#3229163)

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of southerners have neither lynched anyone nor burned a cross.

I can attest to that. I know a lot of southerners. We're all about the neck-stabbing these days.

63. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 08:58 AM (#3229164)

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of southerners have neither lynched anyone nor burned a cross.

But they have boiled peanuts. I say nuke everything south of Springfield, Illinois and East of Fresno, California.

64. Ryan Jones Posted: June 23, 2009 at 08:59 AM (#3229169)

Aren't southerners also the people who believe in both grits and that weird white gravy?

I'm with Shooty on this one. Nuke the whole place.

65. Barnaby Jones Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:14 AM (#3229174)

Mm... grits and boiled peanuts... now we are talking classy eats.

66. Dr Love Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:16 AM (#3229177)

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of southerners have neither lynched anyone nor burned a cross.

Give them time.

67. Jolly Old St. Neck Wound, Marching Through Georgia

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:22 AM (#3229186)

Cornbread, Brunswick stew and pre-sweetened tea can almost make up for everything else, but Georgia never had a song like this, complete with a crazy brother backstory.

68. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:36 AM (#3229198)

Aren't southerners also the people who believe in both grits and that weird white gravy?

See, now right when I go on about how we don't lynch much any more you go and give the boys a perfectly good reason to lynch you. The f*ck's wong with you, son? God hisownself eats grits with a side of buscuits and buttermilk gravy for breakfast. Don't you let nobody tell you different. And yes, chil'ren, God hisownself takes sausage bits in his gravy too. Pork sausage bits. 'Cause pig tastes good.

69. gef the talking mongoose Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:36 AM (#3229199)

but Georgia never had a song like this

I live in (but am not, god forbid, a native of ... Arkansas uber alles!) Alabama but don't know that song. I'll be playing that one when my office mate lives for lunch.

70. Joe C and the Pop Culture Portmanteau Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:38 AM (#3229203)

See, now right when I go on about how we don't lynch much any more you go and give the boys a perfectly good reason to lynch you.

I'm all for stereotyping Southerners, but you can't argue with that fact that they can cook.

71. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:39 AM (#3229206)

Portlanders are terrible drivers.

It's hard for the unwashed hippies to drive what with the sea of unwashed hippies crowding up the road with thier little tricycles and ####. What you guys need is a hippie de-infestation professional. Drive those little rodents back into the forests.

72. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:40 AM (#3229208)

See, now right when I go on about how we don't lynch much any more you go and give the boys a perfectly good reason to lynch you.

You can lynch me if you can catch me fatboy!

73. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:41 AM (#3229210)

I'm all for stereotyping Southerners, but you can't argue with that fact that they can cook.

If you keep throwing different kinds of fat into food you're bound to make it taste good.

74. Ryan Jones Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:41 AM (#3229211)

I'm all for stereotyping Southerners, but you can't argue with that fact that they can cook.

I'll agree that they can cook. I just disagree with what they choose to cook (says the guy from the country obsessed with poutine).

75. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:42 AM (#3229212)

I'm all for stereotyping Southerners, but you can't argue with that fact that they can cook.

Ex-f*cking-actly. Yes, we sort of deprived and entire people of their humanity for, like, a century or two. But in return, they taught us how to turn bland English food into something not only edible, but pleasurable. Also, you know, MLK. From Atlanta. Just 'cause he's black don't mean he ain't one of ours.

76. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:43 AM (#3229214)

You can lynch me if you can catch me fatboy!

Shooty. You are aware that I am from the south, right? Born and raised, even. You realize I have like, 12 firearms at any given time. Right?

77. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:45 AM (#3229220)

Shooty. You are aware that I am from the south, right? Born and raised, even. You realize I have like, 12 firearms at any given time. Right?

That's all right. I'm from Hayward, California so I'm pretty sure I'm impervious to bullets or I'd already be dead.

78. Random Transaction Generator Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:47 AM (#3229225)

SCHROEDER:
How are you today Sally?
SALLY:
I'm mad. I'm mad at the whole world.

Back in the day whe "Peanuts" was a fantastic comic strip.

79. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:47 AM (#3229226)

I just disagree with what they choose to cook (says the guy from the country obsessed with poutine).

In some semblance of seriousness, the reason southern cooking is so good is because we have access to vine-fresh produce year round. The reason Canadia is obssessed with poutine is because cheese curd is the only thing you can get to grow in that God forsaken wasteland. Move to a climate God doesn't hate and we'll teach you how to eat.

80. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:51 AM (#3229230)

Southern food is good--especially New Orleans/cajun stuff. Me, I'm grateful for the Mexican and Italian influence on California cooking. Next time you knuckleheads are on the west coast, search out a place with good cioppino. Start with some deep fried artichokes as an appetizer and be sure to get some sour dough to go with the cioppino. You'll thank me.

81. gef the talking mongoose Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:51 AM (#3229231)

Move to a climate God doesn't hate

In all honesty, leave the keyboard & the a/c & go outside for a minute, Sam. I can't speak for the Atlanta area, but right now I'm pretty sure God is rather peeved at us over here in Montgomery.

82. Dayn

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:52 AM (#3229232)

though I wouldn't countenance it, if you're going to move, pick it up and move, wuss

This could not be more wrongheaded. You're supposed to defenestrate your favorite team just because your job/spouse/meanderings took you to some new town? That's rank, weak-willed assimilation, and that's the hallmark of a wuss. I'm a lifelong Cards fan who now lives a mile-and-a-half from Wrigley. Line me up against the wall before I join the other side.

With that said, yes, visiting fans should be polite and deferential, and post-2004 Sox fans are a blight upon the land.

83. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:54 AM (#3229234)

I'm a lifelong Cards fan who now lives a mile-and-a-half from Wrigley. Line me up against the wall before I join the other side.

It's easy to be an A's fan in New York. Everyone thinks it's cute.

84. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:54 AM (#3229235)

In all honesty, leave the keyboard & the a/c & go outside for a minute

Uh...no. As it is past 7AM, no.

85. Dr Love Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:54 AM (#3229236)

In all honesty, leave the keyboard & the a/c & go outside for a minute, Sam. I can't speak for the Atlanta area, but right now I'm pretty sure God is rather peeved at us over here in Montgomery.

95 with a heat index of 100+? That's the weather we had in Atlanta last week.

86. Superunknown Gary Geiger Counter Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:56 AM (#3229242)

Question for you guys from the Deep South: Is Clarksvile TN/Hopkinsville KY part of the South? I spent about a year there 20 years back and, while they spoke with a drawl and listened to country, the cuisine struck me as more Middle American.

87. Dayn

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:58 AM (#3229244)

Oh, and grits rule.

88. kthejoker Posted: June 23, 2009 at 09:59 AM (#3229246)

You can't bring up lynching without bringing up witch hunts.

EDIT: As someone born in Clarksville, Tennessee - yes, it's very much the South.

89. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:00 AM (#3229248)

95 with a heat index of 100+? That's the weather we had in Atlanta last week.

God's love is very much like a sweaty hug from a very large auntie.

90. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:02 AM (#3229252)

95 with a heat index of 100+? That's the weather we had in Atlanta last week.

God's love is very much like a sweaty hug from a very large auntie.

Jeez, I'll take the icy cold inner most circle of hell that is Canada then, thanks.

91. HOPE: Madison Obamagarner (Flynn) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:03 AM (#3229254)

92. Dr Love Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:04 AM (#3229255)

God's love is very much like a sweaty hug from a very large auntie.

Yet more validity in my atheism!

I'm from the north, so take whatever hate of the heat you have and multiply it by oh, 100 and that's kind of how I feel about this weather.

93. gef the talking mongoose Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:06 AM (#3229257)

Clarksville, Tennessee - yes, it's very much the South.

I dunno. Never been there, but it's a stone's throw from a border state, which is really, really pushing it. I mean, apparently it's actually farther north than Fayetteville, Ark., & people from those parts aren't really Southerners, of course -- they're hillbillies.

I'm taking the matter under advisement.

94. Tropical Storm Davis aka Quilvio "Ebola" Veras Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:07 AM (#3229259)

while they spoke with a drawl and listened to country

I think you answered your own question.

95. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:08 AM (#3229260)

You can't bring up lynching without bringing up witch hunts.

If we're going to be technically historical about it, anyone wants to give the south #### about lynching needs to rent "1776" and listen quite closely to "Molasses to Rum."

96. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:13 AM (#3229264)

I dunno. Never been there, but it's a stone's throw from a border state, which is really, really pushing it.

Depends on the border state. In this case Kentucky is definitely in. Delaware, Missourie and West Virginia are out. Maryland is a big maybe but slips in for the most part.

Of course, Florida is right out.

97. Nasty Nate Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:13 AM (#3229265)

Question for you guys from the Deep South: Is Clarksvile TN/Hopkinsville KY part of the South?

Are there Waffle Houses there?

98. Sam Hutcheson (perhaps some sort of ninja) Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:14 AM (#3229267)

Are there Waffle Houses there?

A better distinguisher: do you have Krystals or White Castles?

99. Edmundo is Super Average Man

Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:17 AM (#3229271)

As someone born in Clarksville, Tennessee - yes, it's very much the South.

My sister lived in Clarksville for 5 years in the 80s. She felt totally unaccepted, claiming that when someone introduced her to a new person, she was introduced with a "This is Mary. She's a Yankee, you know." She knew it was time to leave when she started saying "Y'all" reflexsively. (I don't think she really wanted to go in the first place. Her hubby got a nice job down there; my sister did manage to get an IT degree from Austin Peay, so there was some benefit for her).

My son just started a job selling insurance in the rural parts around Richmond, VA. He just graduated from Wm. & Mary so he's been in the area for 4 years. I asked him is he is saying "Y'all" yet and he replied "Just for effect, for now."

BTW, I heard an interview with Mickey Dolenz recently who stated that the Clarksville of the "Last Train To Clarksville" was indeed Clarksville, TN. I had always wondered about that but could never confirm it.

100. gef the talking mongoose Posted: June 23, 2009 at 10:17 AM (#3229272)

There are regions without Waffle Houses? I've spent only about, I dunno, 2 weeks of my life north of the Mason-Dixon line with a car, so I guess I'm appallingly ignorant on this detail.

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