ESPN: Crasnick: Team campaign slogans

I got about half way through this mess and started having deviated seppuku thoughts about Jerry Della Femina, so I stopped.

Now it’s up to the marketing folks to stoke the interest by coming up with something pithy and insightful. So without further delay, we present the 30 Major League Baseball team slogans for Campaign 2008:

New York Yankees: “Compassionate Conservatism”

These aren’t your daddy’s go-for-the-jugular Yankees. One day they’re granting 60-year-old Billy Crystal his lifelong wish with a cameo appearance at designated hitter. The next day, they’re flying to Blacksburg, Va., for an exhibition game at Virginia Tech in a show of sympathy for a campus torn by tragedy. The next thing you know, general manager Brian Cashman will be making noise about reducing the team’s gargantuan payroll.

Oakland Athletics: “Change You Can Believe In”

A lot of general managers would have difficulty selling the idea of trading away Dan Haren and Nick Swisher in the same winter. Not Billy Beane, whose track record is good enough that the Oakland veterans have faith in his judgment to rebuild on the fly. “I think it was the right move as far as the organization is concerned,” said third baseman Eric Chavez, “and Billy has always taken care of the organization first.” Hey, it’s nice being Billy Beane.