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Saturday, May 03, 2008

ESPN: Tejada Promises Sick Child HR, Delivers!

When Miguel Tejada met 8-year-old Jacob Scott on Friday, he was so touched by the little boy with muscular dystrophy he promised him a home run. Tejada fulfilled his vow to the youngster by hitting the first of three straight Houston home runs in a 7-4 win over the Milwaukee Brewers. The Astros hit five homers in the game.

“I was so excited,” said Tejada, who’d never promised a home run before. “I know it’s hard to tell someone you’ll hit a home run and do it. But today when I went to lunch with this kid I wanted him to be happy. So I told him I’d do it.”

This worked out a lot better than in Seinfeld.

AlouGoodbye Posted: May 03, 2008 at 01:14 PM | 17 comment(s)
  Related News: GeneralHoustonMilwaukee

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   1. rLr's Beard Is Weird, His 'Stache Is Trash Posted: May 03, 2008 at 01:48 PM (#2767809)
This worked out a lot better than in Seinfeld.

That's because Tejada had the good sense not to promise two.
   2. TempleUSox is in the Best Shape of His Life Posted: May 03, 2008 at 01:49 PM (#2767810)
He actually promised 3 homeruns, but they only found out about it after the game.
   3. ACE1242 Posted: May 03, 2008 at 01:54 PM (#2767813)
   4. baseball chick Posted: May 03, 2008 at 02:09 PM (#2767822)
see, hitting homeruns when you are a steroid cheat who lies to congress and won't confess is fine and dandy as long as you promise to hit them for some dying of a terrible disease kid

oh yeah

and as long as you don't break The Sacred Hme Run Record
   5. dahlian believes that water softener is imperative Posted: May 03, 2008 at 02:26 PM (#2767833)
Now imagine how Tejada will feel tomorrow when he finds out the sick kid was actually just faking his illness for the attention.
   6. John DiFool2 Posted: May 03, 2008 at 02:33 PM (#2767838)
This worked out a lot better than in Seinfeld.


That's because the little kid was cork-worthy.
   7. SouthSideRyan(roots for dreck) Posted: May 03, 2008 at 02:51 PM (#2767850)
Ok, but tomorrow night, Hunter Pence has to catch a ball in his hat.
   8. MM1f Posted: May 03, 2008 at 03:07 PM (#2767869)
Jacob Scott says he is 8 huh, WELL I'VE GOT HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE RIGHT HERE!
   9. Booey Posted: May 03, 2008 at 05:26 PM (#2767995)
Turns out the kid is actually a 30 year old man with the "Webster's disease"...
   10. Rough Carrigan Posted: May 03, 2008 at 08:50 PM (#2768146)
Wait. This introduces too much complexity into the situation. How am I supposed to think about a person who's done both good and bad?! Please tell me, media. You've never presented such a person to me before.
   11. Tuque Snider, Resident Steriod Abuser Posted: May 03, 2008 at 09:17 PM (#2768166)
Yes. God forbid we have reasoned, informed views of people that take into account the subtleties of human nature and motivation. #### Miguel Tejada. He shouldn't have even been allowed around children in the first place, lest he feed them steroids, force them to lie at gunpoint, and then encourage them to break the Sacred Hme Run Record.

He probably gave the kid the disease in the first place! God, what a despicable thing to do, give a kid a (presumably sexually-transmitted) disease! What a transparent attempt to save face. Shame on you, Miguel Tejada. You must be a Terminator or a Cylon, since you most obviously don't have a soul.
   12. Le Samourai Posted: May 04, 2008 at 01:58 AM (#2768307)
Seriously, though, good for Tejada. I've always liked him as a player and there are few more simple gestures you can do to brighten the day of a sick child. I had bacterial meningitis when I was four years old back in 1993 and lost my hearing as a result, and I can't imagine how much it might've brightened my day had I asked my favorite player to deliver a home run and have him make good on the promise.
   13. Cris E Posted: May 04, 2008 at 02:44 AM (#2768314)
Tejada, an evil man with a history of suspected steroid use, was attempting to break a sick child's heart by promising an HR but then not delivering. Luckily the Brewers, a noble collection of good men known to serve God as all men understand him and in an effort to save the child's faith in humanity, gave up a long fly Intentionally and with Great and Painful Sacrifice. The Brewers have defeated the aged, diabolical Tejada this day (or last week I guess, but whatever.)
   14. IronChef Chris Wok Posted: May 04, 2008 at 05:05 AM (#2768319)
You must be a Terminator or a Cylon, since you most obviously don't have a soul.

There is no room for a Hispanic Cylon. They've already got 3 minorities out of the 11.
   15. Dr Love Posted: May 04, 2008 at 08:35 AM (#2768336)
Why didn't Tejada just give him a B-12 shot to make him feel better?
   16. Raskolnikov Posted: May 04, 2008 at 09:32 AM (#2768346)
You guys are horrible. Is there no capacity for redemption left in our jaded world?
   17. mattb Posted: May 04, 2008 at 12:54 PM (#2768420)
This thread combines my three favorite things: Baseball, Battlestar Galactica, and Seinfeld references.
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