This worked out a lot better than in Seinfeld.

That's because Tejada had the good sense not to promise two.

He actually promised 3 homeruns, but they only found out about it after the game.

Obligatory PBF link.

see, hitting homeruns when you are a steroid cheat who lies to congress and won't confess is fine and dandy as long as you promise to hit them for some dying of a terrible disease kid

oh yeah

and as long as you don't break The Sacred Hme Run Record

Now imagine how Tejada will feel tomorrow when he finds out the sick kid was actually just faking his illness for the attention.

This worked out a lot better than in Seinfeld.

That's because the little kid was cork-worthy.

Ok, but tomorrow night, Hunter Pence has to catch a ball in his hat.

Jacob Scott says he is 8 huh, WELL I'VE GOT HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE RIGHT HERE!

Turns out the kid is actually a 30 year old man with the "Webster's disease"...

Wait. This introduces too much complexity into the situation. How am I supposed to think about a person who's done both good and bad?! Please tell me, media. You've never presented such a person to me before.

Yes. God forbid we have reasoned, informed views of people that take into account the subtleties of human nature and motivation. #### Miguel Tejada. He shouldn't have even been allowed around children in the first place, lest he feed them steroids, force them to lie at gunpoint, and then encourage them to break the Sacred Hme Run Record.

He probably gave the kid the disease in the first place! God, what a despicable thing to do, give a kid a (presumably sexually-transmitted) disease! What a transparent attempt to save face. Shame on you, Miguel Tejada. You must be a Terminator or a Cylon, since you most obviously don't have a soul.

Seriously, though, good for Tejada. I've always liked him as a player and there are few more simple gestures you can do to brighten the day of a sick child. I had bacterial meningitis when I was four years old back in 1993 and lost my hearing as a result, and I can't imagine how much it might've brightened my day had I asked my favorite player to deliver a home run and have him make good on the promise.

Tejada, an evil man with a history of suspected steroid use, was attempting to break a sick child's heart by promising an HR but then not delivering. Luckily the Brewers, a noble collection of good men known to serve God as all men understand him and in an effort to save the child's faith in humanity, gave up a long fly Intentionally and with Great and Painful Sacrifice. The Brewers have defeated the aged, diabolical Tejada this day (or last week I guess, but whatever.)

You must be a Terminator or a Cylon, since you most obviously don't have a soul.

There is no room for a Hispanic Cylon. They've already got 3 minorities out of the 11.

Why didn't Tejada just give him a B-12 shot to make him feel better?

You guys are horrible. Is there no capacity for redemption left in our jaded world?

This thread combines my three favorite things: Baseball, Battlestar Galactica, and Seinfeld references.