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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

ESPN: Where’s Bartolo?

The greatest feat of prestidigitation since Harry Houdini’s Vanishing Elephant!

Chicago White Sox pitcher Bartolo Colon is scheduled to make a minor league rehab start for Triple-A Charlotte on Thursday.

Problem is, the White Sox don’t know where he is.

“I know where he is supposed to be right now. He’s supposed to be in Charlotte, preparing to start Thursday,” White Sox GM Ken Williams said Tuesday, according to the Chicago Tribune. “Efforts to contact his agent have been successful. Their efforts to contact their client have not been so successful.”

Van Lingle Mungo Jerry Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:03 PM | 36 comment(s) | Login to Bookmark
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1. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:23 PM (#3245674)

I suspect this means that Colon's time with the White Sox is over, especially given that he'd easily be the worst starter in the Sox rotation right now.

2. Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:26 PM (#3245676)

I think a game of Where is Bartolo? would be a lot easier than Where is Waldo?

3. SoSH U at work Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:29 PM (#3245681)

I suspect this means that Colon's time with the White Sox is over, especially given that he'd easily be the worst starter in the Sox rotation right now.

Considering what happened last year, it sounds like Bartolo really isn't interested anymore in the playing baseball part of his baseball career.

4. RJ in TO Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:32 PM (#3245689)

I think a game of Where is Bartolo? would be a lot easier than Where is Waldo?

You see that small hill over there? Well, that's Bartolo.

5. Matt H. Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:33 PM (#3245691)

I don't see a place for Colon in the rotation right now. That said, Contreras' pixie dust might run out at any time and Richard isn't exactly lighting it up in the 5th spot. Richard always seems to be just a few pitches away from a quality start and his fastball seems very lively this year -- but he can't seem to get out of jams the 2nd and 3rd time through order.

The Sox will need all the help they can get so hopefully Colon hasn't gone AWOL on the season and is trying to get his mind right for a good 2nd half. If nothing else they could use him as the long guy and spot starter.

6. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:33 PM (#3245693)

You see that small hill over there? Well, that's Bartolo.

Small hill?

7. Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:34 PM (#3245697)

That said, Contreras' pixie dust might run out at any time

Could someone explain what's gotten into Contreras. He's been lights out for a month now. What has he changed?

8. Darren

Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:40 PM (#3245708)

Ken Williams is a fun quote. That is all.

9. Sheer Tim Foli

Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:41 PM (#3245711)

Williams missing Colon. Foul play not suspected.

Sorry - couldn't resist.

10. Van Lingle Mungo Jerry Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:50 PM (#3245724)

Williams Chews Out Colon.

Angry Williams Cuts Colon.

Sox Lose Again; Williams Fingers Colon.

11. Matt H. Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:52 PM (#3245728)

Could someone explain what's gotten into Contreras. He's been lights out for a month now. What has he changed?

Somehow he's gained a couple MPH on his fastball (according to PitchFX) and his control with the forkball has been pretty much unstoppable. If he throws his forkball in the hitting zone while working ahead with his good fastball he's very good.

When he doesn't have a good fastball, is constantly working behind, and can't throw his forkball over the plate, then he sucks. He's very frustrating to watch but I can't complain too much, he's been solid in his time with the Sox.

12. Sheer Tim Foli

Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:55 PM (#3245735)

What Has Gotten Into Colon?

13. konaforever Posted: July 08, 2009 at 01:56 PM (#3245737)

He did the same thing last year to the Red Sox. He went back home and never came back, since he didn't want to pitch in the bullpen.

"TORONTO - Bartolo Colon decided the Dominican Republic, not the Red Sox [team stats] bullpen, was the best place to be for the remainder of the 2008 season.

Colon’s decision prompted the team yesterday to suspend him without pay. He will remain on the 40-man roster but will not be paid for the rest of his contract. Should Colon change his mind or the Red Sox find themselves needing his services on an emergency basis, he could still be called back to duty."

14. Martin Hemner

Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:01 PM (#3245742)

Have they looked in Buenos Aires? It seems that missing people are popping up there all the time...

15. Crispix Attacks Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:07 PM (#3245762)

Sox GM accuses rebellious players of "making a stink behind my back": Colon may be to blame

16. Guapo Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:37 PM (#3245821)

Rehabilitating Colon's Failure to Work Causes Uncomfortable Situation For Williams

Williams Holds Angry Press Conference, Threatens to Release Colon; Reporters Run For Lives

17. karkface killah Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:43 PM (#3245830)

Whenever we last had a Colon thread like this I was giggling all afternoon. My favorite involved the term 'knuckler'.

Fine times indeed.

18. chemdoc Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:45 PM (#3245832)

If Bill Veeck still owned the Sox, the team uniforms would now be red-and-white striped, and the caps would have a little red tuft on the top.

19. RJ in TO Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:47 PM (#3245836)

Whenever we last had a Colon thread like this I was giggling all afternoon.

Was it this thread?

20. bfan Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:50 PM (#3245840)

He did the same thing last year to the Red Sox. He went back home and never came back, since he didn't want to pitch in the bullpen.

"TORONTO - Bartolo Colon decided the Dominican Republic, not the Red Sox [team stats] bullpen, was the best place to be for the remainder of the 2008 season.

Colon’s decision prompted the team yesterday to suspend him without pay. He will remain on the 40-man roster but will not be paid for the rest of his contract. Should Colon change his mind or the Red Sox find themselves needing his services on an emergency basis, he could still be called back to duty."

21. Swoboda is freedom Posted: July 08, 2009 at 02:54 PM (#3245846)

That's no moon.

22. Obi One Kenobi Nil (BFFB)

Posted: July 08, 2009 at 03:00 PM (#3245858)

"Colon Is Ready To Let Loose, Opponents Fearful"

"Colon Unleashes Nasty Slider"

23. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: July 08, 2009 at 03:01 PM (#3245860)

So he quits mid-season just last year, and the white sox reward him with a contract? They deserve whatever they get (or don't get) from him, and may they spend management time and resources chasing this in a futile effort.

Meh. The Sox aren't paying him a whole lot, and they don't exactly need him. I think they got him as an insurance policy for Contreras, and saw whatever he gave the team as a bonus. I doubt they do much to follow this up.

24. Gamingboy Posted: July 08, 2009 at 03:13 PM (#3245888)

Bartolo Colon was seen at a Mecklenburg County Taco Bell.

25. Moses Taylor demands to be housewarmed Posted: July 08, 2009 at 03:14 PM (#3245891)

I doubt they do much to follow this up.

Exactly. Kenny didn't seem too concerned, he called Colon's agent and said they won't wait for him. That's about the minimum effort. I bet the Sox wouldn't mind him not showing up, if they're as concerned about cash as Kenny said yesterday.

26. Swedish Chef Posted: July 08, 2009 at 03:19 PM (#3245900)

Colon Cancer.

27. Tuque

Posted: July 08, 2009 at 04:51 PM (#3246047)

"Colon Unleashes Nasty Slider"

barf

28. Anonymous Observer Posted: July 08, 2009 at 06:55 PM (#3246231)

"Colon Unleashes Nasty Slider"

That's usually what happens after somebody eats at White Castle.

AO

29. Who Swished In Your Cornflakes? Posted: July 08, 2009 at 07:16 PM (#3246282)

A headline on Yahoo: "Guillen unsure of Colon's location." I laughed.

30. The George Sherrill Selection Posted: July 08, 2009 at 07:53 PM (#3246351)

"Ozzie: We're having problems with our Colon"

31. asinwreck Posted: July 08, 2009 at 08:59 PM (#3246470)

Colon Unresponsive; Owner Irritated.

32. Random Transaction Generator Posted: July 08, 2009 at 09:17 PM (#3246484)

"Colon Dumped"

"Trouble Brewing with Colon"

33. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: July 08, 2009 at 09:48 PM (#3246512)

That's no starter, that's a space station!

34. Player X Posted: July 08, 2009 at 11:46 PM (#3246674)

The truth comes out:

Manager Ozzie Guillen joked that Colon was probably at Michael Jackson's memorial service.

"I worry about Colon because Colon was a big-time Michael Jackson fan. ... He might see the TV and cry all day long. He may be is in LA at his funeral, because I can’t find him. When he gets to Charlotte, Oney [Guillen] will call me to say he’s there.

“Nobody knows how big of a Michael Jackson fan Colon was. I’m serious. He might be depressed a little bit."

35. pv nasby Posted: July 09, 2009 at 12:26 AM (#3246732)

Remember that epic thread that came from Bartolo leaving the Republican party due to his dislike of evangelicals?

"Colon switches teams, has had his fill of Santorum."

36. nick swisher hygiene Posted: July 09, 2009 at 12:36 AM (#3246745)

triple pun: "Scent of Colon Sickens Williams"

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ESPN: Where’s Bartolo?

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