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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

EX-MET DYKSTRA SETTLES 139G LAWSUIT (RR)

Nobody Beats The Twizzler!

Former Met center fielder Lenny Dykstra worked himself out of a jam yesterday, settling a lawsuit over an unpaid $139,000 bill from a Midtown accounting firm. The scrappy former leadoff hitter known as “Nails” wouldn’t reveal any details after the closed-door court session in Manhattan federal court.

But the three-time All-Star bragged that plaintiff DDK & Co. “folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth,” a reference to his former Phillie teammate who notoriously served up a World Series-winning homer to Joe Carter of the Toronto Blue Jays in 1993.

“There was no case. There was nothing,” the now paunchy fireplug said while munching on a handful of Twizzlers.

... Halcyon Jets alleged this month that Dykstra bounced a $7,000 check for a September flight from Las Vegas to Van Nuys, Calif.

“That’s my f- - -in’ ashtray money, bro,” he said. “I don’t even know if I flew on their plane.”

Dykstra also showed The Post the jacket lining of his charcoal-gray pinstripe suit. “See that purple label, bro? That’s seven large,” he said.

Repoz Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:41 PM | 66 comment(s)
Related News: General, Business, Special Topics, NY Mets, Philadelphia

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1. Slinger Francisco Barrios (Dr. Memory) Posted: November 25, 2008 at 01:56 PM (#3015639)

The man simply oozes class from every pore, just like Donald Trump.

2. Non-Fat Listachio Ice Cream Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:11 PM (#3015655)

“That’s my f- - -in’ ashtray money, bro,” he said. “I don’t even know if I flew on their plane.”

Translation: I've been getting stomped by the market. Bankruptcy to follow. Help me.

3. Good cripple hitter Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:14 PM (#3015658)

It's totally worth reading TFA, the picture of Dykstra and his Twizzlers is classic.

4. Barry`s_Lazy_Boy Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:16 PM (#3015663)

Wow, the pic is awesome and nails is a piece of human excrement.

5. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:19 PM (#3015668)

Translation: I've been getting stomped by the market. Bankruptcy to follow. Help me.

Yep. The bluster is hilariously awesome, though.

6. PreservedFish Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:20 PM (#3015669)

Does he mean to say that his jacket costs $1,000,000?

7. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:23 PM (#3015679)

Does he mean to say that his jacket costs $1,000,000?

I thought he was talking about some kind of short and fat sizing option.

8. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:28 PM (#3015693)

But the three-time All-Star bragged that plaintiff DDK & Co. “folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth,”

I'm generally sympathetic to Dykstra, but that was kind of cold, right there. So much for the solidarity of the clubhouse.

9. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:28 PM (#3015695)

Also, the picture: Jesus Christ. He looks like he's about nine million years old.

10. SoSH U at work Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:31 PM (#3015696)

Also, the picture: Jesus Christ. He looks like he's about nine million years old.

Yeah, it's hard to reconcile the quotes above with the creepy old dude in the picture.

11. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:33 PM (#3015699)

Dykstra was accompanied to court by lawyer Daniel Noveck of Pasadena, Calif., who replaced the firm of Kirkpatrick & Lockhart Preston Gates Ellis, which begged off his case in September over unpaid bills.
Outside the courthouse, the hard-charging 45-year-old juggled two cellphones as he worked on a deal to launch what he said would be the first Rolls-Royce-branded private airplanes.
He said the Gulfstream G550s would sell for $60 million apiece.
Dykstra, who writes the "Nails on the Numbers" column for thestreet.com, also displayed a copy of the latest issue of The Players Club, his troubled lifestyle and advice magazine for athletes.
He said he was losing $500,000 a month on the 25,000-circulation glossy but wasn't worried.

This stuff is comic gold, my friends, comic gold.

edit: I mean, I bet $1000 the sound on both of those cell phones was "To listen to your messages press 1..."

12. Ryan Jones Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:37 PM (#3015701)

Were there a lot of lead pipes in the Phillies old stadium? I ask, only because the 1993 team seems to have produced more than the normal amount of lunatics and "personalities" - Dykstra, Daulton (who is so crazy he makes Dykstra look normal), Kruk, Schilling, Incaviglia, and even Mitch Williams.

13. Shooty Did Not Kill McGurk

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:38 PM (#3015702)

14. Ryan Jones Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:40 PM (#3015705)

He said he was losing $500,000 a month on the 25,000-circulation glossy but wasn't worried.

How the hell do you lose $20 per issue per month on a magazine? Is he printing it directly on solid gold pages? Is the ink only available through processing the carcasses of endangered animals? Or does he just slip a $20 into every copy before it ships?

I can't understand how he could manage such a big loss.

15. Obama Bomaye Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:46 PM (#3015713)

I can't understand how he could manage such a big loss.

And that's why his jacket lining costs seven large, and yours doesn't.

16. SoSH U at work Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:54 PM (#3015720)

also displayed a copy of the latest issue of The Players Club, his troubled lifestyle and advice magazine for athletes.

I would think there would be a pretty good market for magazines targeted to folks with troubled lifestyles. Just his old Phillies teammates would be a good place to start a subscription drive.

17. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 02:57 PM (#3015724)

Does he mean to say that his jacket costs $1,000,000?

i believe he means by 'seven large' that the suit costs $7,000.

How the hell do you lose $20 per issue per month on a magazine?

it's a helluva feat, i can think of some of the numbers off the top of my head. 25M/mo. of a glossy costs somewhere around $50k to print, depending on paper stock, probably more for a magazine as he described in the new yorker profile that ran a while back; then you have postage/mailing/distribution costs; plus payroll for hourly staff which if staff is around 40 people at an avg. of 40K/year salary is about $130K/mo.; then the executive salaries, which are higher. depends what he's paying his VP of advertising. add in office rent in NY or LA (don't know where the mag is headquartered) ... i could see him losing somewhere in the $250K range per month if they don't sell any decent advertising and if he's collecting a fat salary.

18. Edmundo is Super Average Man

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:00 PM (#3015729)

even Mitch Williams
Williams is a pretty level-headed local baseball analyst these days. Nothing spooky about him at all.

19. Joey B. Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:00 PM (#3015730)

Also, the picture: Jesus Christ.

Too much chewing tobacco and running into walls will do that to you.

20. Slinger Francisco Barrios (Dr. Memory) Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:02 PM (#3015732)

Outside the courthouse, the hard-charging 45-year-old juggled two cellphones as he worked on a deal to launch what he said would be the first Rolls-Royce-branded private airplanes.

"Three prawns are hardly a 'galaxy.' Lemme talk to Mr. Kwan!"

21. Ryan Jones Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:04 PM (#3015735)

it's a helluva feat, i can think of some of the numbers off the top of my head. 25M/mo. of a glossy costs somewhere around $50k to print, depending on paper stock, probably more for a magazine as he described in the new yorker profile that ran a while back; then you have postage/mailing/distribution costs; plus payroll for hourly staff which if staff is around 40 people at an avg. of 40K/year salary is about $130K/mo.; then the executive salaries, which are higher. depends what he's paying his VP of advertising. add in office rent in NY or LA (don't know where the mag is headquartered) ... i could see him losing somewhere in the $250K range per month if they don't sell any decent advertising and if he's collecting a fat salary.

Oh, I'm aware of all this - I know a bunch of people who work in the magazine industry. The thing which is amazing is that, even including all the stuff you've listed above, you've still only managed to get the losses up to $250K per month. He's somehow managing to lose double that, despite being in a really nice position for the recruitment of advertisers. Hell, most of them will be lining up for the opportunity to buy ads in a magazine which essentially does only to millionaires (or those likely to soon be millionaires - I'm assuming that the target audience is pro-athletes).

22. Ryan Jones Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:05 PM (#3015738)

Williams is a pretty level-headed local baseball analyst these days. Nothing spooky about him at all.

He's fine now, but he was (understandably) a bit of a mess for a while after '93.

23. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:08 PM (#3015743)

class A office rent in 3Q in LA last month was about $3.50 a sq ft. for a decent space to accomodate a staff that could put out a glossy, he'd need a lot of sq footage. easily a 6-figure/mo. rental bill.

of course, he may be doing all this using the services of some sort of agency/design firm that would produce the thing. then he's paying out all the stuff i just layed out plus the percentage they tack on to clear a profit.

24. Bucs Fan Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:09 PM (#3015744)

Too much chewing tobacco and running into walls will do that to you.

I've got another guess as to the cause.

25. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:14 PM (#3015751)

you've still only managed to get the losses up to $250K per month

ya, i wasn't nec. agreeing, except that we don't know a lot of what's going on. i'd be shocked if he's getting anything for the advertising he's 'selling', if any ... i don't care what claims he's making for the audience the magazine is reaching. advertisers need to see audit figures before committing $$$. i'd be curious to see the product.
any way you slice it, he's prob. losing his shirt. a creative accountant could get the losses up there, esp. if he's using that as a way to plead poverty to other creditors.

26. Tom Nawrocki Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:15 PM (#3015755)

I've worked in the magazine industry for a long time, and I can only think of a few ways to waste that much money:

1. Rent the biggest, glossiest, most luxuriant offices you can find.
2. Get Stephen King to write all your articles for you.
3. Pay yourself, as the editor in chief, a multi-million-dollar salary.
4. Lie about how much you're losing to make the magazine look that much more opulent.

I don't know how you could use a staff of 40 on a magazine like that. They'd mostly end up playing sudoku on the computer.

27. Ryan Jones Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:22 PM (#3015762)

i'd be shocked if he's getting anything for the advertising he's 'selling', if any ... i don't care what claims he's making for the audience the magazine is reaching. advertisers need to see audit figures before committing $$$.

You're dead-on about this. As soon as the circulation numbers aren't backed up by a firm audit, advertising rates tend to rapidly plummet towards zero.

28. ECBucs Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:22 PM (#3015765)

More evidence that nice guys finish first.

Why don't Lenny and Pete Rose go into business together?

Could be a match made in heaven.

29. Ryan Jones Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:23 PM (#3015766)

I don't know how you could use a staff of 40 on a magazine like that.

I'd guess that a team of 20 is needed to carry around Dykstra's ego. The rest can work on the magazine.

30. Zach Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:28 PM (#3015778)

It's a magazine for people who famously don't read. Maybe it's a loss leader for his money management business?

31. The Good Face Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:37 PM (#3015793)

It's a magazine for people who famously don't read. Maybe it's a loss leader for his money management business?

Even pro athletes have to poop once in a while. I'd think a big glossy magazine with pictures of really expensive junk would be a big hit in their bathrooms.

Oh yeah, Dykstra is an incredible douche for that comment about Mitch Williams. Not that the rest of the article left any doubt.

32. Ryan Jones Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:40 PM (#3015800)

Even pro athletes have to poop once in a while. I'd think a big glossy magazine with pictures of really expensive junk would be a big hit in their bathrooms.

For pro athletes, that magazine is called Playboy.

33. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:42 PM (#3015801)

"I don't know how you could use a staff of 40 on a magazine like that. They'd mostly end up playing sudoku on the computer."

39 people for the Sudoku tournament, plus one to write about it?

34. TVerik and his cavalcade of whimsy Posted: November 25, 2008 at 03:48 PM (#3015808)

I was going to lay a smackdown on Skymall, but you beat me to it, Ryan.

35. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 04:47 PM (#3015881)

I don't know how you could use a staff of 40 on a magazine like that.

???

i've worked magazines/newspapers forever. edit/production/advertising/circ./admin staff easily gets to 40 for a weekly tab. monthly glossies are in the same ballpark, not even counting freelance contributors.

36. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 04:49 PM (#3015884)

i'll amend that though. if he has a staff dedicated to only that magazine, he could have a smaller staff. but that's not typical anymore. most of these operations are producing multiple publications to cover costs.

37. Sean Forman Posted: November 25, 2008 at 04:56 PM (#3015891)

Living in Philly, I've been pretty impressed with Mitch Williams on the radio. I don't agree with much of what he says, but he sounds like he has a pretty good head on his shoulders and has a good sense of humor/contrition about the Carter home run. He never hesitates to talk about it or ducks questions or comments about it.

Regarding Dykstra, the commenters who were predicting bankruptcy in his future sound spot on to me.

38. Tom Nawrocki Posted: November 25, 2008 at 04:56 PM (#3015893)

A lot of tiny monthlies have an editorial staff of about five. I haven't seen the masthead for The Players Club, but I'd be shocked if there were as many as 20 people working there, in all capacities.

39. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:06 PM (#3015903)

i haven't either, but if it's a glossy monthly with the aspirations it has, it would take a large staff to realize them.

where are you working tom? i'm in L.A. working for a business weekly after a stint in dailies.

40. Tom Nawrocki Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:08 PM (#3015908)

Right now I'm doing a temporary stint in New York at Rolling Stone, but usually I'm a freelancer in Colorado.

41. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:11 PM (#3015910)

design? production? my g.f. is wanting to move to a cheaper city eventually, i'm curious to know if you like your situation.

42. Tom Nawrocki Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:13 PM (#3015914)

I'm a writer and editor. If you can find the work, it's great, but it can be awfully hard to keep the paychecks steady.

43. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:26 PM (#3015926)

ah.

i'm curious about colorado. my g.f. is nuts about it, and has some people there. she claims outside of the fancy enclaves, its pretty affordable.

44. Swedish Chef Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:30 PM (#3015929)

Based on this article, I'd rather do business with nigerian scammers than with Lenny Dykstra.

45. Kyle S at work Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:31 PM (#3015931)

Here's the website for Dykstra's rag. It appears as if the magazine is a glossy advertisement for his wealth management services. As their offices appear to be on Park Ave, I doubt their rent is cheap. Still, losing $500k/mo is impressive.

46. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:45 PM (#3015938)

not necessarily. i read in business week that some shifty investment firms rent fancy addresses that are merely virtual offices. lenny may be doing the same thing with the magazine.

47. Clemenza Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:54 PM (#3015940)

I know someone who's sister worked on the mag for a short time. According to her Nails is a disaster as far as running a business goes. He can't stay on plan and constantly changes his mind about layout and content which, of course, drives his staff crazy. I guess he fired a printer 2 days before the issue went to print so the issue was never printed, he has a reputation of not paying people and he's basically giving the ad revenue away because he wants to have brands like Rolex in the mag. Givng them ad rates at next to nothing is the only way they'll appear. I don't know if that all adds up to 500k in the red each month but it's not good.

48. The Most Interesting Man In The World Posted: November 25, 2008 at 05:58 PM (#3015941)

I wonder if Dykstra's rag will be sued by the Telly Savalas estate's "Playa With Yourselves Club".

“Cause sometimes, when there is no action, you gotta make your own action”

49. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 06:07 PM (#3015944)

According to her Nails is a disaster as far as running a business goes. He can't stay on plan and constantly changes his mind about layout and content which, of course, drives his staff crazy.

this has the ring of truth to it. newcomers to publications seriously don't get it. i'm always shocked by how little folks know about how a publication gets made, how articles are written and edited, how layouts are designed, the basics of type, planning an issue, etc. i mean, i know enough to plead ignorance about something like the law or accounting or other businesses, but outsiders come in to publications thinking 'this is EASY!' especially when it comes to design, which is where they are really unqualified to do anything. end of rant.

50. Miko Supports Shane's Spam Habit Posted: November 25, 2008 at 07:15 PM (#3015962)

i'm curious about colorado. my g.f. is nuts about it, and has some people there. she claims outside of the fancy enclaves, its pretty affordable.

There are vast tracks of open land, and lots of spread out development. So yes, although everyone's definition of affordable varies. Compared to the northeast or CA, it is very affordable.

It's a great place for outdoor sports.

51. phredbird

Posted: November 25, 2008 at 07:23 PM (#3015969)

thanks miko. as i said above, i am in L.A., so your info is appreciated.

52. BeanoCook Posted: November 25, 2008 at 07:28 PM (#3015973)

Translation: I've been getting stomped by the market. Bankruptcy to follow. Help me.

LOL!

Wow, maybe Cutter Dykstra will become the next Prince Fielder for the Brewers and Lenny is the next Cecil.

53. jwb Posted: November 25, 2008 at 07:55 PM (#3015979)

i'm curious about colorado. my g.f. is nuts about it, and has some people there. she claims outside of the fancy enclaves, its pretty affordable.

Some friends of mine retired to a place in the mountains above Colorado Springs. They love it. If you like the idea of living in the middle of nowhere with an awesome view and a trout stream in your backyard. . .

54. Belfry Bob Posted: November 26, 2008 at 01:22 AM (#3016120)

...vast tracks of open land

So is Swamp Castle available?

55. Drexl Spivey Posted: November 26, 2008 at 02:50 AM (#3016131)

"Wow, maybe Cutter Dykstra will become the next Prince Fielder for the Brewers and Lenny is the next Cecil."

Or, maybe Cutter Dykstra becomes the next Tony Gwynn Jr (only paler!) and Prince Fielder becomes the next Tony Gwynn (likable, fat, lefty, face of the franchise). Then...things get complicated when comparing Lenny to Cecil.

56. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 26, 2008 at 04:11 AM (#3016135)

He said he was losing $500,000 a month on the 25,000-circulation glossy but wasn't worried.

"You're right, Darrin Fletcher, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars next year. You know, Mr. Fletcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I'll have to close this place in.... sixty years."

Maybe it's a loss leader for his money management business?
Even pro athletes have to poop once in a while.

Leave Manny out of this.

57. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 26, 2008 at 04:12 AM (#3016137)

Here's a great article about Lenny Dykstra, international gourmand.

58. JoeHova Posted: November 26, 2008 at 06:18 AM (#3016153)

That article is definitely interesting. Nice find.

59. Slinger Francisco Barrios (Dr. Memory) Posted: November 26, 2008 at 08:33 AM (#3016179)

Lenny Dykstra, international gourmand.

Probably the correct word for a jowly Twizzler-chewer.

60. Kyle S at work Posted: November 26, 2008 at 10:52 AM (#3016290)

The IHT article is amazing. I love the comments about the maitre d's posture.

61. Crispix Attacks is in the best shape of his life. Posted: November 26, 2008 at 11:08 AM (#3016311)

And here's the classic New Yorker article about Dykstra's amazing business acumen, published a mere 8 months ago. A random idiot could have big success in the markets at a time when every market was going up! Who'd a thunk it.

The best parts are when he drives his car to a cul-de-sac near his house to conduct all his business over the phone.

62. Kyle S at work Posted: November 26, 2008 at 12:03 PM (#3016385)

From the New Yorker article:

[Dykstra] has slowed down somewhat, but what he lacks in speed he makes up for in unpredictability; he does not use turn signals, he talks on the phone constantly, and those calls sometimes necessitate his pulling into the nearest parking lot, so that he can check his e-mail. On this particular trip, the first parking lot he pulled into belonged to a shopping center with a Taco Bell. “Do you want a burrito?” he asked.

63. BeanoCook Posted: November 26, 2008 at 05:08 PM (#3016611)

It's totally worth reading TFA, the picture of Dykstra and his Twizzlers is classic.

64. BeanoCook Posted: November 26, 2008 at 05:25 PM (#3016618)

There is one comment at the bottom of this NYPost story:

User Image
tommybb8688 wrote:
This does not matter. Lenny is 84-0 in his picks for the year!!! Follow his picks on thestreet.com and make money it is that simple. Keep up the good work Nails!!!!!!
11/25/2008 9:28 AM EST

65. Monty Posted: November 26, 2008 at 05:26 PM (#3016619)

I love the New Yorker article.

Improbably, he has since become a successful day trader, and he let me know that he owns both a Maybach (“the best car”) and a Gulfstream (“the best jet”).

66. Srul Itza Posted: November 26, 2008 at 05:45 PM (#3016634)

“That’s my f- - -in’ ashtray money, bro,” he said.

Invest some of it in a stairmaster and a bottle of Grecian Formula, bro. And lay off the Twizzlers.

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