This game. I'm not a professional athlete, but I'm usually more hungover than drunk Sunday afternoons.

Incidentally, he was batting against a hung-over David Wells.

Is this a joke? He's not serious is he?

Lots of players have taken the field under the influence. This is nothing new.
Alcohol calms the nerves. Too much of it can be an issue obviously.
I doubt it helps that Petco park is surrounded by one of San Diego's largest bar districts. Heck this blog takes their name from it.

And didn't the Red Sox as a team, take a shot of tequila before taking the field in route to winning a ring a couple of years ago?

No, it appears it was a drunk (at least that should be his excuse) Andy Pettite.

I'm still waiting for the story that exposes Roger Cedeno's on-field alchoholism.

Half the jacks and ribbies were against Jay Witasick, who'd been huffing paint all night.

And didn't the Red Sox as a team, take a shot of tequila before taking the field in route to winning a ring a couple of years ago?

I think it was Jack Daniel's, but yes.

I tried playing hoops drunk. I thought it would be fun. It was clumsy, and not particularly enjoyable.

Martin Amis, in the novel London Fields, discusses the importance of drinking among semi-professional darts players. The main character, when playing an "away" match (held at a different pub from the one sponsoring him), brings his own beer, because he doesn't trust the possible slight differences in alcohol content served from a new tap, and knows exactly how much beer he has to drink to reach optimum tipsitude.

Martin Amis, in the novel London Fields, discusses the importance drinking among semi-professional darts players.

And if anyone besides Christopher Hitchens is in a position to write about booze, then his last name would be Amis.

I'm usually more hungover than drunk Sunday afternoons.

Well, that's what happens when you sleep. Or when you don't have a few to get rid of the headache when you wake up.

Huffing paint is where I draw the line. Sends a bad message to the kids.

When I first read that I thought he meant that he played a 4x4 plus two shots of jack and eight ribs. That would definately get you ###### up.

No, Witasick quit the day before:

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit huffing paint."

So we can add him to Dock Ellis on the list of players who had their best career game while drunk or otherwise intoxicated.

Hopefully it doesn't turn out that Jacoby Ellsbury was wacky on peyote during the World Series.

So we can add him to Dock Ellis on the list of players who had their best career game while drunk or otherwise intoxicated.

Wait, are you saying he was on something else for the four-home run game?

Shawn Green was on nothing stronger than milk when he had his four homer game. Milk he'd drunk from a stripper's ass.

And it's best not to get into what David Wright drinks.

And if anyone besides Christopher Hitchens is in a position to write about booze, then his last name would be Amis.

Have you ever read "Money"? Now that's a book.

Have you ever read "Money"? Now that's a book.

I've read a fair amount of his stuff, and of his father's. His father's take on a hangover is maybe the single greatest descriptive paragraph in the English language.

Dixon was alive again. Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way; not for him the slow, gracious wandering from the halls of sleep, but a summary, forcible ejection. He lay sprawled, too wicked to move, spewed up like a broken spider-crab on the tarry shingle of the morning. The light did him harm, but not as much as looking at things did; he resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again. A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum. During the night, too, he'd somehow been on a cross-country run and then been expertly beaten up by secret police. He felt bad.

Kingsley Amis, Lucky Jim

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon


Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate


Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

kudos to #21 (scotto) for quoting from one of my favorite novels

During the night, too, he'd somehow been on a cross-country run and then been expertly beaten up by secret police. He felt bad

the last mini-sentence is priceless & to the point

Nice work on that last group Shoewiz.

Thanks jmac66. I love that book, and there's a book that is long out of print of his called On Drink. It's pretty hilarious, and he points out that a hangover is composed of two parts, the physical and the metaphysical. The best way to handle the metaphysical is to wake up next to someone, and to engage in a vigorous bout of sex to know the metaphysical hangover out. Besides, he notes, you never know if you managed to shag them the night before.

I don't do it justice, but I last read it over 20 years ago. I wonder if Andy could get hold of a copy of it?

Is this a joke? He's not serious is he?

Definitely must have been those heady pre-9/11 days.

Shawn Green was on nothing stronger than milk when he had his four homer game. Milk he'd drunk from a stripper's ass.

Since that was in Wisconsin, that must have been one big stripper and a chitload of milk.

It may be that I'm just loaded on Belgian beer--god bless those half Frenchies with their excellent brew and mayo slathered fries--but the posts here get funnier as the night goes along. If I had enough sleeping bags and individually packaged cups of hot chocolate, I'd invite you all over for a slumber party. We could do each other's hair.

Oh yeah. I like Mike Cameron more than I did yesterday. He's like the Spicoli of centerfielders now. Here's hoping the Pirates sign him and 15 other guys that show up in the Mitchell Report. If they rename themselves the Pisces, I promise to dump the Giants and make them my National League team.

It may be that I'm just loaded on Belgian beer

Bass Ale for me tonight. What are you drinking?

Bass Ale for me tonight. What are you drinking?

I had some Leffe brown ale, some blonde ale I forget the name of, and now that I'm home I'm polishing off a bottle of chianti leftover from last night which was pumpkin carving night. We tried to carve an elephant face onto the pumpkin but it, well, it just doesn't look right.

Best part of Belguim: a pint of Hoegarden for 2 euros

The trenches of Vimy are a close second but for entirely different reasons

Diet ginger-ale, baby!

Right now on ESPN.com........you can find the following headlines...

TOP LINK: Cameron Fails Stimulant Test: Suspended 25 games

3rd Link: Four-game Suspension looms for Jaguars' Stroud


Oh, and by the way, Marcus Stroud was busted for violating the NFL Steroids policy. No mention of Roids in the headline and it is listed below that of Cameron, who was busted for what is for what many consider the lesser form of cheating. Did you catch NFL lap dog, Len Pasquarelli, interject:

"Stroud, 29, underwent offseason microfracture surgery on his chronically problematic right ankle, and it is believed he may have taken supplements to speed his recovery."

Nowhere did Stroud or his agent, or anyone, make this suggestion. In fact they are awaiting results back on the "B" sample of urine and offered no comment or reason for the positive test.

WTF?!?!?

I loved Belgium when I visited there. I became quite fond of Westmalle and Affligem, but drank a lot of Duvel as it was my host's favorite beer. That, and a lot of oude genever.

The steak frites we had at their village farmhouse restaurant were outstanding, and I really wish I made a note of the bottle of St. Emilion that we drank. It was our second bottle, however, so I wasn't noting much.

Diet ginger-ale, baby!

This reminds me of my Grandma. A child of The Great Depression, she stockpiled cases of Shasta soft drinks in every diet flavor because they were always on sale. You haven't lived until you've tastes Shasta Diet Grapefruit Soda. Maybe this is an East Bay thing, though.

In many ways, I'm like people's grandmas who grew up during the depression, including mine.

Some of them were aggressive panhandlers once, too.

I loved Belgium when I visited there. I became quite fond of Westmalle and Affligem, but drank a lot of Duvel as it was my host's favorite beer. That, and a lot of oude genever.

The steak frites we had at their village farmhouse restaurant were outstanding, and I really wish I made a note of the bottle of St. Emilion that we drank. It was our second bottle, however, so I wasn't noting much.

I've had Duvel, which is excellent, but I've never been to Belgium so I'll have to envy you the rest. Show off! I'm hopefully going to Freiburg and Munich next year and will be able to find some great beer, but I don't expect I'll do better than the Belgians.

I don't do it justice, but I last read it over 20 years ago. I wonder if Andy could get hold of a copy of it?

I just ordered a used copy. Actually the last book by the Amises I read was Lucky Jim a couple of years ago. Time to jump back in.

That last comment wasn't meant to be nearly as hostile as it sounds.

I've had Duvel, which is excellent

Man, Duvel goes to my head like nothing this side of hard alcohol. More than Champagne.

Some of them were aggressive panhandlers once, too.

Come on now, it's bad for the soul to hold a grudge. If it makes any difference, I thought about that post of mine a lot and I think a lot of it had to do with my succumbing to the hype about Ess Eff. I've had a couple of annoying experiences there and I did what I hate other peple do--I extrapolated it out to a universal. I feel properly chagrined about it.

I've had Duvel, which is excellent, but I've never been to Belgium so I'll have to envy you the rest. Show off!

One thing I love about the Belgian beers is they come with their own glasses. I love the Duvel snifters, which have a little bump just off center at the bottom so a continuous line of bubbles comes up to the head.

If in Germany, take a train to Belgium. You'll be happy that you do, and Brussels, Ghent and Brugge are tremendously cool cities, although Brugge is kind of overrun by English tourists intent on buying lace, chocolate, and getting pissed in Irish or English style taverns.

Vaux, your #36 cracked me up.

If in Germany, take a train to Belgium. You'll be happy that you do, and Brussels, Ghent and Brugge are tremendously cool cities, although Brugge is kind of overrun by English tourists intent on buying lace, chocolate, and getting pissed in Irish or English style taverns.

Sadly, won't be able to. I'll have to move east to Munich, Prague and Poland to visit the girlfriend's muchachos. She went to school in Freiburg and has more Euro friends than I can shake a stick at.

Man, Duvel goes to my head like nothing this side of hard alcohol. More than Champagne.

It's what, 8% alcohol? Something like that.

How much did you find On Drink for? I ask because I saw around $40 when I looked a few moments ago.

How much did you find On Drink for? I ask because I saw around $40 when I looked a few moments ago.

I ordered it for 40. There were some cheaper copies on Amazon, but with lower-rated sellers and with more wear (I think the cheapest was about 28). I'm guessing that it's a keeper (and I've had a few myself this evening), so I figured I would spring for the better copy.

Hmm. That sounds like a reasonable deal. I guess I have to wait for the lottery.

I'll have to move east to Munich, Prague and Poland to visit the girlfriend's muchachos.

That sounds like an awesome itinerary. Belgium's not going to go away, so you can always visit later.

Since that was in Wisconsin, that must have been one big stripper and a chitload of milk.

I was at the Scores by O'Hare a couple years ago before a friend's wedding and they kept running ads for the Scores in Lake Geneva, advertising "Wisconsin's Hottest Women". I thought 'that's kinda like boasting that you have Nebraska's finest seafood'.

've had Duvel, which is excellent, but I've never been to Belgium so I'll have to envy you the rest. Show off!

Whole Foods sells lots of good Belgian Beers. Right now in my kitchen I've got three different Chimay's (Premiere, Cinq Cents, and Grand Reserve), a Karmaleit Tripel, a St. Bernardus Abt 12, and a Koning's Hoven Quadrupel. I try and get something different every time I go, but I keep coming back to the Karmaleit and the St. Bernardus.

I try and get something different every time I go, but I keep coming back to the Karmaleit and the St. Bernardus.

Those are good ones. I like the dubbels and trippels, but I'm not a big fan of the witbiers, like Hoegaarden.

Shredder, have you ever tried the Unibroue beers from Quebec, or Ommegang's beers from Cooperstown? They're well worth it, and about half as much as the Belgians. Both are brewed by Belgian companies, I believe.

I was at the Scores by O'Hare a couple years ago before a friend's wedding and they kept running ads for the Scores in Lake Geneva, advertising "Wisconsin's Hottest Women". I thought 'that's kinda like boasting that you have Nebraska's finest seafood'.

The amazing thing is, I've been to a few strip clubs and the one with highest quality was in Wisconsin. Beat out Vegas, NYC and West Virgina.

Shredder, have you ever tried the Unibroue beers from Quebec, or Ommegang's beers from Cooperstown?

I haven't. How much alchohol?

Like most Belgian beers, they tend to be higher in alcohol.
Unibroue
Ommegang

For my friend's 50th birthday last March we roadtripped to Cooperstown, visited the HOF and the Ommegang brewery. It was a blast.

Like most Belgian beers, they tend to be higher in alcohol.

That's my favorite thing about them.

I am shocked that people would respond to the deep human tragedy of substance abuse among baseball players by ... by ... by recommending brands of beer! You should all have your children taken away. Cancel my subscription to this magazine. You will hear from Senator Mitchell in the morning. Now go to bed without your lambic, all of you.

We're only on the Amises, wait until we get to Bukowski.

We're only on the Amises, wait until we get to Bukowski.

Jack Vincennes gave me a compilation from The Modern Drunkard. It was amusing, without the wit of the Amises, however.

I dated a woman who was a serious Bukowski fan, who'd also met him and who he'd tried to seduce. That was a woman who could imbibe like no one's business. Fortunately for my liver, it was a short term thing.

I just finished reading Factotum. Bukowski is unique. And that's probably a good thing.

I'm a Corsendonk man, myself. Belgium is one of my favorite places in the world, and I desperately want to go back.

Since that was in Wisconsin, that must have been one big stripper and a chitload of milk.

There's a joke about cheese here somewhere...

The headline reminded me of an Editorial in the Onion awhile back:

"My anti-drug is alcohol".

His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its
mausoleum.

I had a college rommate who referred to this sensation as "Ech. The Russian army has been
tromping through my mouth. Get me a Dr. Pepper!"

A child of The Great Depression, she stockpiled cases of Shasta soft drinks in every diet
flavor because they were always on sale.

This may be a rural thing. My mother grew up on a farm in Massachusetts during the depression, and we always had a ton (ok, a quarter ton) of canned goods in the basement even when we were living in places which didn't get snowed in.

Kingsley Amis, Lucky Jim

One of my favorite books of all time. If you can't sympathize with Jim Dixon... jeez.

Lucky Jim also has one of the greatest descriptions of love ever written:

Your attitude measures up to the two requirements of love. You want to go to bed with her and can't, and you don't know her very well. Ignorance of the other person topped up with deprivation, Jim.

A great book, but Girl, 20, is just as good - except it has the most heartbreaking ending I've ever read...

Maybe this is an East Bay thing, though.

Oh, no. I remember Shasta...my mom would occasionally buy it for us because it was just a dime a can. They had the coolest display in the Eagle, what with all those bizarre flavors in their color-coded cans all lined up on the shelf. Chocolate soda was particularly nasty, as I found out to my dismay.

There's a joke about cheese here somewhere...

Yeah...cottage cheese.

Oh, no. I remember Shasta...my mom would occasionally buy it for us because it was just a dime a can. They had the coolest display in the Eagle, what with all those bizarre flavors in their color-coded cans all lined up on the shelf. Chocolate soda was particularly nasty, as I found out to my dismay.

In my elementary school, a common field trip was a tour of the Shasta factory in Hayward. There was a lot of local pride about Shasta in Hayward back in the day. I remember thinking how cool it was that they used Shasta as the generic "cola" on tv shows.

I did like the cola flavored soda well enough. Drank a can or two. Blue can, IIRC.

I did like the cola flavored soda well enough. Drank a can or two. Blue can, IIRC.

I liked the lemon-lime myself. The colas was good, too. Of course, I was 9 years old so anything with that much sugar tasted pretty good to me.

"In my elementary school, a common field trip was a tour of the Shasta factory in Hayward."

In my elementary school, we took a trip through the dairy farm next door.

One time a cow got loose and wandered into the school. That was pretty neat.