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Thursday, November 29, 2007

HBO Developing Barry Bonds Movie

Weeeeeeeee! If Marcus Carl Franklin can be Dylan...I want Frank Caliendo to play Bonds!

Ron Shelton has been set by HBO Films to direct a pic about San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds that will air on HBO.

Bonds ended a season in which he broke baseball’s all-time home run record only to be indicted on federal charges for perjury and obstruction of justice for allegedly lying under oath when he told a grand jury he had never used performance-enhancing drugs.

...Shelton will write the script with his “Tin Cup” writing partner John Norville as soon as the writers strike ends. The film will be exec produced by Ross Greenburg, the HBO Sports president who exec produced Roger Maris biopic “61*,” and Michael Greenburg (“Stargate SG-1”), who’s now exec producer of Score Prods.

Repoz Posted: November 29, 2007 at 10:16 AM | 69 comment(s)
Related News: General, San Francisco, Media, Television, Steroids

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1. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:32 AM (#2627973)

"Curb Your Metabolism"?

2. robinred Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:34 AM (#2627975)

Ving Rhames' agent is working the phones.

3. robinred Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:36 AM (#2627976)

"Curb Your Metabolism"?

Or "Deadwood: The Inside Story of Kimberly Bell and Barry Bonds"

4. Shooty Is A One Man Legion Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:37 AM (#2627979)

I will watch this movie if they cast Rob Schneider as Bonds. Think of the potential!

5. Doris from Rego Park Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:41 AM (#2627983)

Rob Schneider is...the Stapler!

6. Schilling's Sprained Ankiel Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:47 AM (#2627991)

Who is going to play kevin, the crusading commenter on a baseball blog the knew all along, and will be a witness for the prosecution based on his expertise in phrenology? It has to be somebody with really strong legs.

7. aleskel Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:48 AM (#2627993)

Who is going to play kevin

I'm going to suggest Gilbert Gottfried

8. AROM wants you off his lawn Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:49 AM (#2627995)

Wesley Snipes to play young Bonds (he already sort of played him - Bobby Rayburn in The Fan) and Michael Clark Duncan as late-career Bonds.

9. Traderdave Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:53 AM (#2628005)

Who is going to play kevin

I'm thinking Steve Buscemi or Macaulay Culkin.

10. aleskel Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:58 AM (#2628011)

Wesley Snipes to play young Bonds (he already sort of played him - Bobby Rayburn in The Fan

not to mention Willie Mays Hayes!

11. Shooty Is A One Man Legion Posted: November 29, 2007 at 11:58 AM (#2628012)

Who is going to play kevin

I'm going to suggest Gilbert Gottfried

Folks, we have a winner.

12. robinred Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:08 PM (#2628023)

Jabba the Hutt as Bill Conlin

13. John (You Can Call Me Grandma) Murphy Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:10 PM (#2628028)

I will watch this movie if they cast Rob Schneider as Bonds. Think of the potential!

"The Bondsman! Bondserama! Bonds...Barry Bonds! Bonds in seconds! Making home runs!"

14. Brandon in MO (Fire Trey Hillman) Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:11 PM (#2628031)

Jaleel White as young Bonds, Michael Clarke Duncan as old Bonds

15. Dewey, Local Boy and Hero Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:12 PM (#2628033)

I'd rather that HBO focus on developing the Song of Ice and Fire series.

16. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:12 PM (#2628034)

If he's not available, Viggo Mortenson or Russell Crowe might do.

might do what?

17. Traderdave Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:15 PM (#2628039)

Forrest Whittaker should play Dusty
Sidney Pollack should be Selig
Dennis Hopper play Conte

Who plays Kent, or Jim Leyland?
And Philip Seymour Hoffman should be in it too, just can't think of which role for him

18. Kirby Kyle Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:15 PM (#2628040)

Shelton has already made this movie, as Bull Durham is a thinly disguised allegory of young players being lured into PED use. "Annie" (short for anabolic) openly brags about how any player that stays with her has the best year of his career, while Crash lectures the youngster on how to deflect questions from reporters.

19. scotto Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:16 PM (#2628042)

And Philip Seymour Hoffman should be in it too, just can't think of which role for him

Scott Boras, with a Truman Capote voice.

20. robinred Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:17 PM (#2628047)

And Philip Seymour Hoffman should be in it too,

Donald Fehr

21. Schilling's Sprained Ankiel Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:18 PM (#2628049)

Tommy "Tiny" Lister for Post-Roid Bonds.

I like the Jaleel White rec. They should cast Wayne Brady as Hank Aaron and use that aging makeup.

But, who, who, I ask, will play Bud Selig? As an opening suggestion, how about this guy?

22. John (You Can Call Me Grandma) Murphy Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:19 PM (#2628053)

Sidney Pollack should be Selig

The Amazing Kreskin should portray Selig.

23. Clemenza Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:19 PM (#2628054)

Chance of this movie being any good: 10%
If it was anybody other than HBO making it: 1%

24. aleskel Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:21 PM (#2628057)

you know Samuel L. Jackson is going to find his way into this movie. He would make a good Sheffield.

YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE, AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!

25. Schilling's Sprained Ankiel Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:21 PM (#2628058)

Paul Giamatti to play Selig.

26. Brandon in MO (Fire Trey Hillman) Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:23 PM (#2628061)

Forest Whitaker can play Bonds, and make cameos as Muggsy Bogues and Martin Lawrence.

27. RMc is the President of the United States Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:29 PM (#2628069)

They should cast Bonds for both before and after steroids. Before, they can use Chris Tucker, after, Forrest Whitaker.

Or just cast Forrest Tucker (cue "F Troop" theme)

28. Traderdave Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:31 PM (#2628071)

Willem defoe would make a great Lenny Dykstra

29. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:31 PM (#2628072)

I would like to see Bud Selig played by Sir Ian McKellen. This story needs to be elevated from its sordidness.

Since Bonds's wife will no doubt be domestically abused and victimized at some point, she will have to be played by Ashley Judd.

Finally, the most villainous character of all will no doubt be Jeff Kent, so for that they need someone like Billy Bob Thornton.

30. Loren F.'s well-anchored glenoid Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:31 PM (#2628075)

Call it 'BOND$' and cast Robert Wuhl as the moody slugger. That'll be great.

31. Biscuit_pants Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:34 PM (#2628079)

you know Samuel L. Jackson is going to find his way into this movie.

I think he should play Bonds..."Son, get my bat, it's the one that says bad mother fracker on it"

32. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:35 PM (#2628080)

The emotional heart of the movie will be the tormented Brian Sabean, endlessly second-guessing himself and wishing life could all be simpler. I nominate Gabriel Byrne. Yes, he should definitely use the Irish accent.

33. Van Lingle Mungo Jerry Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:35 PM (#2628081)

There's one and only one actor capable of portraying Barry Bonds. That actor? Frank Stallone.

34. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:36 PM (#2628084)

I believe Frank Stallone has already signed on to play Felipe Alou. You'll laugh! You'll cry!

35. Brandon in MO (Fire Trey Hillman) Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:41 PM (#2628087)

So will this movie depict Bonds drinking goat semen as a PED?

36. TVerik, the world�s No. 1 hydrogen dirigible Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:45 PM (#2628094)

If I'm Bonds, I have my lawyers watching it very closely to see if I can tap into those fat HBO pockets.

37. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 29, 2007 at 12:49 PM (#2628099)

The 1998 flashback scene has already been filmed, with Graham Chapman as Mark McGwire, and Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, John Cleese, and Terry Jones as the BBWAA.

38. PreservedFish Posted: November 29, 2007 at 01:05 PM (#2628116)

I saw a poster for a coming attraction the other day which starred Denzel Washington and Forrest Whitaker. "Denzel Whitaker" was listed as a supporting actor. Google suggests that he is a real person and not just an inside joke, although his name must have resulted in much hilarity on the set.

39. Biscuit_pants Posted: November 29, 2007 at 01:15 PM (#2628133)

Going along with the python theme the scene has also been filmed withConte and Sabean

40. Joey B. Posted: November 29, 2007 at 01:30 PM (#2628171)

Chris Rock as young Barry, Tony Atlas as the middle aged version.

41. Jolly Old St. Nick (now, with Screen Name history) Posted: November 29, 2007 at 01:31 PM (#2628174)

If I'm Bonds, I have my lawyers watching it very closely to see if I can tap into those fat HBO pockets.

Bonds's whole life for the foreseeable future is likely to consist pretty much entirely of lawyers.

42. wj1958 Posted: November 29, 2007 at 01:34 PM (#2628180)

Bud Selig? I know...Andy Dick.

43. Nasty Nate Posted: November 29, 2007 at 01:57 PM (#2628220)

if he hadnt passed on, Nelson de la Rosa as Darren Baker in the 2002 world series

44. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 29, 2007 at 01:59 PM (#2628224)

Nicole Richie as the record-breaking bat. And Chris Kattan as the Rally Monkey.

45. TWO!-OH!-OH!-OH! CLAP!-CLAP!-CLAP!CLAP!CLAP! Posted: November 29, 2007 at 02:14 PM (#2628249)

Rocco Prestia as Victor Conte.

46. John (You Can Call Me Grandma) Murphy Posted: November 29, 2007 at 02:30 PM (#2628265)

Steriods should portray steroids.

47. Tropical Storm Davis aka Quilvio "Ebola" Veras Posted: November 29, 2007 at 02:39 PM (#2628278)

Michael Rapaport IS: Mike Sweeney

48. Los Angeles Waterloo of Black Hawk Posted: November 29, 2007 at 04:22 PM (#2628404)

In seriousness, I'd like to see Idris Elba get a crack at Barry.

49. aleskel Posted: November 29, 2007 at 04:39 PM (#2628424)

In seriousness, I'd like to see Idris Elba get a crack at Barry.

damn, I was thinking the exact same thing. Physical presence, menacing attitude ... perfect fit

50. Gambling Rent Czar Posted: November 29, 2007 at 04:50 PM (#2628438)

If I'm Bonds, I have my lawyers watching it very closely to see if I can tap into those fat HBO pockets.

oh no doubt.

and Gilbert Gottfried as Kevin, is just awesome!

Here is a suggestion, since Bonds possibly won't be working next year.
Why not cast him in the movie. Maybe a few cameo's or something.

51. Boots Day Posted: November 29, 2007 at 04:53 PM (#2628439)

and Gilbert Gottfried as Kevin, is just awesome!

Gottfried could do his routine on compulsive masturbation.

Here is a suggestion, since Bonds possibly won't be working next year.
Why not cast him in the movie. Maybe a few cameo's or something.

They could cast him as his dad. Barry would probably like that.

And they really need to get Bernie Mac to play Dusty Baker.

52. Gambling Rent Czar Posted: November 29, 2007 at 05:03 PM (#2628449)

They could cast him as his dad. Barry would probably like that.

Good call.. Let him play Bobby.

53. Gamingboy Posted: November 29, 2007 at 05:04 PM (#2628451)

Starring Martin Lawrence as Barry Bonds....

With guest stars:

Jose Canseco as Himself
Pedro Gomez as The Reporter Following Bonds Around

54. AJMacaroni Posted: November 29, 2007 at 05:12 PM (#2628460)

Laurence Fishburne as Bonds?

Morgan Freeman as Julio Franco
Al Pacino as the prosecutor:

Bonds: "Why'd I get mixed up with that #####?"
Prosecutor: "Cause she's got a GREAT ASS!"

55. The Essex Snead Posted: November 29, 2007 at 05:18 PM (#2628463)

Call it 'BOND$' and cast Robert Wuhl as the moody slugger. That'll be great.

I saw the end of some Lakers game last week, and Wuhl had Kobe's ear. I hope Kobe told him to stick his advice up his arli$$. (funny!)

56. Le Comble du Bob Dernier Cri Posted: November 29, 2007 at 05:21 PM (#2628469)

Jack Carson and William Bendix are both unavailable, so I have no suggestions.

57. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 29, 2007 at 05:27 PM (#2628474)

Morgan Freeman as Julio Franco

No, Abe Vigoda as Julio Franco.

58. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 29, 2007 at 05:48 PM (#2628498)

No, Edmund Kean as Julio Franco.

59. The Most Interesting Man In The World Posted: November 29, 2007 at 06:37 PM (#2628558)

I'm surprised nobody has recommended Bernie Mac as the post-steroid Bonds.

60. Gamingboy Posted: November 29, 2007 at 06:38 PM (#2628559)

Who plays Bacsik?

61. The Most Interesting Man In The World Posted: November 29, 2007 at 07:06 PM (#2628581)

I thought Horatio Sanz would make a good Canseco.

With Will Arnett as Bill Mueller.

62. Gambling Rent Czar Posted: November 29, 2007 at 07:22 PM (#2628596)

according to the sporting news, the movie is going to be fiction.

63. Best Dressed Chicken in Town Posted: November 29, 2007 at 07:48 PM (#2628612)

Frank Caliendo as everyone.

64. rLr Shouldn't Have Drunk The Hot Mountain Dew Posted: November 29, 2007 at 08:30 PM (#2628643)

It's a shame Bob Denver is dead because kevin is the part he was born to play.

65. AndrewJ Posted: November 29, 2007 at 08:43 PM (#2628654)

Who is going to play kevin, the crusading commenter on a baseball blog the knew all along, and will be a witness for the prosecution based on his expertise in phrenology?

Tom Cruise is playing me.

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HBO Developing Barry Bonds Movie

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