Jaffe: An Open Letter to Paul White (Apparently Not the USA Today Reporter)

We all remember..."Dear Mr. Jaffe, Kiss My Ass. Regards, Everyone Whose Intelligence You Just Insulted”.....well, Jay’s lip savvy smooch follows.

If you feel that I’ve somehow crossed the Mendoza Line of decorum in making my point, well, I’ll leave it to the public to decide which of us has been more indecorous, me with the occasional stridency of my arguments (a charge to which I’ve already copped), or you with your ad hominem attacks and gratuitous, juvenile references to the size and/or location of your targets’ testicles (which you mention three times). Nonetheless, I wish to thank you for the kind words, the superlative ("the most condescending remark I’ve ever seen on the subject"), and the open-letter suggestion on behalf of “everyone whose intelligence you just insulted”—an angry mob that apparently doubles as a silent majority, judging by the dearth of emails I receive to that effect—that I should be engaging in some ass-kissing. I’ll be sure to put all of that in my scrapbook or on my to-do list as merited.

In closing, I’m well aware that there are millions of baseball fans and hundreds of voters out there who have never heard of me and who get along just fine without my efforts to shine a bit of light into this particular corner of the baseball world. Yet to hear you tell it I’ve practically enslaved the guardians of Cooperstown in an effort to prevent the necessary supermajority from electing Jim Rice. In fact, the concerted efforts on the part of myself and the aforementioned nefarious conspirators have been so successful that Rice garnered 46 more votes than in 2007, and 116 more than when my system debuted at BP in 2004. Clearly, you have pinpointed the reason why my ego is so huge.

I just wish you weren’t so obsessed with my balls.

Sincerely,

Jay Jaffe