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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Japan to be known as “Samurai Japan” at WBC

Japan baseball officials announced on Wednesday that the national team for the 2009 WBC will be known as “Samurai Japan”, named after the country’s former warrior nobility.

Samurai Japan? Why not Ninjas!? I mean, Ninjas flip out and kill people!

Gamingboy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 03:45 PM | 84 comment(s) | Login to Bookmark
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1. andrewberg Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:25 PM (#3007573)

Can we be Samurai America?

2. AROM Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:30 PM (#3007580)

Well, if they leave ninja on the table, we can take it. After all, like ninjas, Americans are mammals.

American Ninjas! Totally sweet.

3. Al Kaline Trio Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:30 PM (#3007582)

If they lose do they commit Sepoku?

4. Gamingboy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:30 PM (#3007583)

No. We are either Patriot America, Cowboy America, Superpower America or, maybe, Captain America.

5. Not The Real Fausto Carmona (Dan Lee) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:31 PM (#3007584)

Why not the Ninja Warriors? They could get Makoto Nagano to train the team on his fishing boat.

6. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:33 PM (#3007587)

My mind has frozen with the possibilities. I think we should somehow include fake breasts, packaged cream-filled snack cakes, and drive-thru banking in our name. That will blow the world's collective mind.

7. OCD SS Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:33 PM (#3007588)

Ninjas are incredibly overrated.

8. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:33 PM (#3007590)

They can do that?

It's my understanding that only Caribbean or African countries can have cool names for their national sports teams. Soca Warriors, Indomitable Lions, Super Eagles, etc. All other teams are limited to referring to themselves as a color.

9. Paul The Paranoid Android Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:35 PM (#3007591)

They should have went with Ninja Blacksox.

10. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:35 PM (#3007593)

Ninjas are incredibly overrated.

Dude, you will be dead before you hit the floor.

11. The District Attorney Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:37 PM (#3007595)

Still not as good as Brother Elephants.

12. Swedish Chef Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:39 PM (#3007597)

It's my understanding that only Caribbean or African countries can have cool names for their national sports teams. Soca Warriors, Indomitable Lions, Super Eagles, etc. All other teams are limited to referring to themselves as a color.

As I understand it, the English call their national soccer team \"####### Wankers"

13. Gamingboy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:40 PM (#3007598)

Actually, now that I think about it, America must find the only thing Badass enough to face Ninjas, Samurai, Cowboys, Indians, Robots, Pirates and even Secret Agents.

I speak of course of Teddy Roosevelt. The biggest badass the world has ever seen.

14. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:41 PM (#3007599)

Still not as good as Brother Elephants.

That is ####### awesome, Do they have a cool elephant logo? If so, how do I get a t-shirt?

edit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezevec/2800746090/

I like it!

15. Gamingboy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:42 PM (#3007601)

Teddy Roosevelt could also fight Zombies, Vampires and Werewolves... while hopping on one foot.

16. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:44 PM (#3007605)

Each team should use the name of the most ridiculously-named team in their domestic league(s).

Japan - Nippon Ham Fighters
Korea - Hyundai Unicorns
Taiwan - Brother Elephants
Canada - Winnipeg Goldeyes
Mexico - Cancun Lobstermen
Netherlands - DOOR Neptunus
USA - Montgomery Biscuits

17. The District Attorney Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:44 PM (#3007606)

Teddy's baseball record really ain't too good lately...

18. salvomania Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:46 PM (#3007608)

That game write-up is fun:

"The towering Hackman, standing at 196 cm and weighing at 103 kg, took the mound after taking a three-day break from a previous game."

"Kao Chih-kang, an infielder, of the Lions ran to the second base at the bottom of the third inning and returned home on a sacrifice"

:Chuang was able to reach the base on a wild pass by the Elephants and ran back home on a high-fly sacrifice"

"At the bottom of the fifth inning, Yang Sheng of the Lions was given a walk to the first base. "

19. aleskel

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:48 PM (#3007610)

I propose, instead of giving the USA team a nickname, they just give them a uniform that reads 'Merica

20. Loren F.'s well-anchored glenoid Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:48 PM (#3007611)

The American Teddies? Somehow, that doesn't seem intimidating enough.

21. Gamingboy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:49 PM (#3007614)

So Teddy isn't good at racing. That is only because he doesn't want to.

22. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:55 PM (#3007620)

The American Teddies? Somehow, that doesn't seem intimidating enough.

Intimidating, no. But sexy, very sexy.

23. The District Attorney Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:57 PM (#3007622)

Do you think they'd mind if we went with Atomic Bomb Droppin' America?

24. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:58 PM (#3007624)

Do you think they'd mind if we went with Atomic Bomb Droppin' America?

We could, but then they'd change their name to Viable Auto Industry Japan.

25. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:19 PM (#3007648)

They should have went with Ninja Blacksox.

Sasuke had a mean curveball.

26. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:20 PM (#3007650)

Why not just, Team America? (F*ck Yeah!)

27. flournoy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:23 PM (#3007654)

2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.

What a crock. Splinter sat around in the sewer 24/7, occasionally distributing high-and-mighty life lessons or acting the deus ex machina by breaking out obscure "ancient Japanese remedies" to otherwise impossible problems.

28. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:25 PM (#3007655)

Splinter sat around in the sewer 24/7, occasionally distributing high-and-mighty life lessons or acting the deus ex machina by breaking out obscure "ancient Japanese remedies" to otherwise impossible problems.

That's if you accept the cartoon as canon.

29. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:27 PM (#3007658)

Some ninjas fight, and some sit around in the sewer. Just like on a baseball team, some guys are on the field and some are on the bench.

30. Good cripple hitter Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:27 PM (#3007659)

They should have went with Ninja Blacksox.

If Whitey Herzog had his way, the World Series would be played in Cyber Egg Stadium.

31. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:28 PM (#3007660)

The Ninja Canon.

32. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:31 PM (#3007664)

The site of both the World Series and World Baseball Classic will alternate between Cyber Egg Stadium, the Technodrome, Kitchen Coliseum, and Miller Park.

33. alskor Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:31 PM (#3007665)

Cowboy America is still the favorite.

34. AROM Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:37 PM (#3007671)

Ninjas are incredibly overrated.

Have you guys ever heard of the inverse law of ninjas?

One ninja is very dangerous, he'll attack unseen and disappear before you even know he struck.

But 100 ninjas, all rushing you at once? Very easy for a hero to dispatch all of them.

35. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:39 PM (#3007676)

Baseball Stars' SNK Stadium was nice and symmetrical with plenty of foul territory.

36. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:43 PM (#3007682)

"Do you think they'd mind if we went with Atomic Bomb Droppin' America?"

No, but Richland High School might.

37. flournoy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:43 PM (#3007683)

38. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:45 PM (#3007688)

The law in #35 actually applies to any kind of fighter. There's no reason why one awesome guy can't take out an army of several hundred or several thousand all by himself. It happens in the movies all the time.

An interesting corollary to this is the Andre the Giant exception. He became so used to fighting hordes of fighters that it only took one small and kinda wimpy man to bring him down.

39. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:50 PM (#3007697)

"That is ####### awesome, Do they have a cool elephant logo? If so, how do I get a t-shirt?"

The Brother Elephants will always have a soft spot in my heart for employing Bronswell Patrick.

Getting a shirt may be harder than you think, though.

40. Random Transaction Generator Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:56 PM (#3007705)

Neither team will be able to defeat the Canadian Moose (Poutine and HockeyMullets would also be acceptable)!

41. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:01 PM (#3007711)

There are five ninjas hidden in this thread.

42. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:03 PM (#3007715)

Getting a shirt may be harder than you think, though.

I'm going to need a ninja and a lot of towels to get that shirt.

43. Enrico Pallazzo Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:04 PM (#3007716)

Neither team will be able to defeat the Canadian Moose (Poutine and HockeyMullets would also be acceptable)!

Nah. We'll simply be known as The Adam Sterns.

44. Random Transaction Generator Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:20 PM (#3007726)

Nah. We'll simply be known as The Adam Sterns.

You mean, The Stubby Clapps, right?

45. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:25 PM (#3007729)

Canada should combine Stubby Clapp and R.J. Swindle in their name somehow. And after they win a game, they mock their opponents with "You just got Swindled by the Clapp!"

46. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:26 PM (#3007731)

So, when players are removed from the Samurai Japan roster, will they be called ronin instead of free agents?

47. OCD SS Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:17 PM (#3007790)

Dude, you will be dead before you hit the floor.

I'm still here.

Ninjas are definitely, incredibly overrated.

48. Chase Utley, Shooty's Favorite Robot (Joey Belle) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:33 PM (#3007803)

Will Samurai Japan commit harakiri if they lose?

49. PreservedFish Posted: November 12, 2008 at 10:01 PM (#3007821)

I'm still here. Ninjas are definitely, incredibly overrated.

I'm not convinced that a Ninja didn't already kill you, and write that just to throw off suspicion.

50. vortex of dissipation Posted: November 12, 2008 at 10:15 PM (#3007831)

So...Motoko Aoyama as team trainer?

51. mashimaro Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:16 AM (#3007893)

The Hyundai Unicorns are now the Woori (Oo-Ree) Heroes! Don't you know anything about the Korean Baseball Organization?

52. T.J. Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:46 AM (#3007908)

Thank goodness Japan won't have Real Ultimate Power.

53. OCD SS Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:06 AM (#3007929)

I'm not convinced that a Ninja didn't already kill you, and write that just to throw off suspicion.

Why would the ninja need to throw off suspicion? If they were such bad asses they'd leave my body propped up in the middle of my apartment lobby riddled with shurkien as a clear warning not to f@ck with them. If a ninja needed to throw off suspicion, he'd be a monumental pu$$y.

Japan clearly went with the correct warrior class for their nickname. Ninjas remain incredibly overrated.

54. Gamingboy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:28 AM (#3007936)

Let it be said that I would pay to see a three-way fight between 1000 Ninjas, 1000 Spartans, 1000 Cowboys, 1000 Samurai, 1000 moose-riding Mounties, 1000 rioting Philly Phans and, of course, 1000 Clones of Teddy Roosevelt.

Preferably in a venue that ends with "of DOOM!"

55. jyjjy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:30 AM (#3007937)

They went with samurai over ninjas because if they somehow lost and shamed ninjas everywhere they wouldn't live to see another day.

56. vortex of dissipation Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:41 AM (#3007939)

Let it be said that I would pay to see a three-way fight between 1000 Ninjas, 1000 Spartans, 1000 Cowboys, 1000 Samurai, 1000 moose-riding Mounties, 1000 rioting Philly Phans and, of course, 1000 Clones of Teddy Roosevelt.

Wouldn't that be a seven-way fight?

I suspect 1000 Gurkhas could take any of them...

57. Gamingboy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:45 AM (#3007940)

It would be a three-way fight seven ways.

58. Cabbage Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:54 AM (#3007944)

USA - Montgomery Biscuits

nah... Take the Isotopes. Remind everyone that we can always nuke the snot out of them.

59. Poster Nutbag, Serial (Thread-)Killer Posted: November 13, 2008 at 03:31 AM (#3007954)

Ninja Warrior & Baseball Stars references? Great thread already! So, we can be the American Dreams then, right?

60. Nasty Nate Posted: November 13, 2008 at 04:01 AM (#3007960)

Let it be said that I would pay to see a three-way fight between 1000 Ninjas, 1000 Spartans, 1000 Cowboys, 1000 Samurai, 1000 moose-riding Mounties, 1000 rioting Philly Phans and, of course, 1000 Clones of Teddy Roosevelt.

mini-Ditka could take em all on

61. CFiJ Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:11 AM (#3007986)

Will Samurai Japan commit harakiri if they lose?

Almost assuredly, since the manager's name is Hara, and he'll be fired (kiru) if they lose.

62. CFiJ Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:12 AM (#3007987)

Each team should use the name of the most ridiculously-named team in their domestic league(s).

Japan - Nippon Ham Fighters

What's ridiculous about this?

63. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:14 AM (#3007988)

It sounds ridiculous. Specifically, the use of the word "Ham".

YES I KNOW THAT IT IS THE (NIPPON HAM) FIGHTERS AND NOT THE NIPPON (HAM FIGHTERS). IT STILL SOUNDS RIDICULOUS.

64. Long John McCaine Mutiny on the Bounty (scott) Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:20 AM (#3007990)

Have you guys ever heard of the inverse law of ninjas?

I've heard of it as the Conservation of Ninjitsu. Be warned, the website linked has eaten up hours of my time and may do likewise for others.

65. Crispix Attacks Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:32 AM (#3007992)

If the Yankees were called the New York Ham Yankees it would also sound ridiculous. Or the Kansas City Ham Royals, Colorado Ham Rockies, Milwaukee Ham Brewers, Houston Ham Astros, Seattle Ham Mariners, Tampa Bay Ham Rays, Texas Ham Rangers, San Francisco Ham Giants, etc. In fact, the only team whose name would be improved rather than degraded by the addition of the word "Ham" in the middle is, coincidentally, the Montgomery Biscuits.

The real find was when I looked at the teams in the Honkbal Hoofdklasse, and discovered DOOR Neptunus. Another team in that league is currently called Mr. Cocker HCAW.

66. Raskolnikov Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:54 AM (#3007996)

I just want to say that this is like the greatest thread ever.

67. OCD SS Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:21 PM (#3008075)

I'm still here.

Ninjas remain incredibly overrated.

68. Quinton McCracken's BFF Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:36 PM (#3008095)

They should have went with Ninja Blacksox

Logic follows that USA should be American Dreams.

Baseball Stars' SNK Stadium was nice and symmetrical with plenty of foul territory.

For a real slugfest, I'd go with R.B.I. Baseball's Tengen Stadium (or whatever it was called!). It was tiny and fielders can walk through certain walls to rob homeruns. Great for ratings.

69. The District Attorney Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:51 PM (#3008103)

Netherlands - DOOR Neptunus

I remember an article about Robert Eenhoorn (I thought it was posted here, but the search doesn't find it) that mentioned the "Door Tridents." I'm guessing that's the same thing as "DOOR Neptunus"; whether it was the result of going through a bad translator, I don't know. What I'd really like to know is what the hell either a DOOR Neptunus or a Door Trident is. Is it like the Ham Fighters, and they make doors??

Another team in that league is currently called Mr. Cocker HCAW.

Any team named "Mr." is incredible.

70. Herr Mike Posted: November 13, 2008 at 03:26 PM (#3008138)

I'm still here.

Ninjas remain incredibly overrated.

Your head is probably severed, you just don't realize it.

71. Obi One Kenobi Nil (BFFB)

Posted: November 13, 2008 at 03:56 PM (#3008163)

But can you beat the The Bolton ROBOTS OF DOOM

72. T.J. Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:38 PM (#3008317)

Samurai we can handle, but not Space Robots!

73. Gamingboy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:49 PM (#3008329)

The thing is, apparently Ninjas are even more badass then we know. I mean, they may always be in black in the movies, but apparently in real life they didn't have such identifying uniforms, so that humble farmer you see on your way to work may actually be a Ninja ready to strike you dead.

74. OCD SS Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:53 PM (#3008335)

Your head is probably severed, you just don't realize it.

No, I checked that.

75. Gamingboy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:56 PM (#3008336)

OCD's head probably isn't severed. The Ninja proably glued it back on to fool everyone.

76. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:58 PM (#3008338)

OCD's head probably isn't severed. The Ninja proably glued it back on to fool everyone.

Have you guys seen Dead Silence? I bet the ninja killed OCD, gutted him, and then turned him into an elaborate ventriloquist's dummy. The ways of the ninja are versatile and squishy.

77. Gamingboy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 07:03 PM (#3008342)

The ways of the ninja are versatile and squishy.

(has to turn off computer to avoid laughing very hard at that sentence)

78. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 13, 2008 at 07:04 PM (#3008343)

(has to turn off computer to avoid laughing very hard at that sentence)

Then my work here is done. Good night folks!

79. OCD SS Posted: November 14, 2008 at 02:03 AM (#3008816)

OCD's head probably isn't severed. The Ninja proably glued it back on to fool everyone.

I thought I might have been the victim of a ninja attack, but it turned out I just stubbed my toe.

80. Ball Point Pen Guy (Will Young) Posted: November 14, 2008 at 02:11 AM (#3008819)

This thread is fantastic.

81. OCD SS Posted: November 17, 2008 at 02:25 PM (#3010580)

I just wanted to point out that I'm still here.

Ninjas are overrated.

82. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: November 17, 2008 at 02:28 PM (#3010584)

This thread is a ninja--it just will not die.

83. OCD SS Posted: March 02, 2009 at 04:14 PM (#3090186)

OK.

I waited this long on the off chance that a ninja might have slipped me some dastardly poison that would take so long to kill me that it would make my death seem completely accidental and untraceable as an assassination.

Nope. Ninjas remain overrated.

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Japan to be known as “Samurai Japan” at WBC

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