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Baseball Primer Newsblog— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
YESTERDAY a teenage rebel! TODAY a mad-dog slayer! TOMORROW a bloodthirsty zombie badmouther! SEE “CRY BABY KILLER”...TODAY!
Like the spitball-shooting, booger-nosed jerk in junior high, Ozzie Guillen can dish out the abuse but can’t take it. It was easy enough last week, in all his First Amendment glory, to fire a new load of F-bombs at his targets. Oh, how good he felt when he zinged White Sox fans for their demanding standards, the Chicago media for supposedly adoring the Cubs and Lou Piniella—I still can’t get over this one—for being “[bleeped] up.”
Yet when it was time for his targets to react—Sox fans pleading for silence, clear-thinking media urging him to get a life, even his national defenders voicing disgust about Ozzie Fatigue—the poor babe huddled with his wife on the phone and talked about taking his official MLB-licensed straitjacket and going home.
“I’m done with this job after this season,” Guillen said to himself.
What the man-child wants, apparently, is a one-sided dialogue with the world. He’d like a system in which he speaks his mind rudely and crudely while the rest of us nod our heads and accept his every perverse, idiotic comment as gospel. Needless to say, if civilization began and ended with Guillen, you’d basically have what Will Smith found in “I Am Legend.” Except Ozzie, after badmouthing the bloodthirsty zombies, would start running when they attacked him.
Repoz
Posted: May 14, 2008 at 07:30 AM | 19 comment(s)
Related News: General, Chi White Sox
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The only think I found funny in the column.
Something tells me that "Ozzie Fatigue" could be accompanied by "Mariotti Fatigue."
Clear-thinking what now?
No, Jay. It's just that, like all clear-thinking people in any walk of life, he doesn't want to have to talk with you.
When did Mariotti start referring to himself in the third person?
Yep, still no comments at the bottom of Jay's column, and a generic Sun-Times email address that probably goes nowhere.
Crybaby
spitball-shooting, booger-nosed jerk
poor babe
man-child
a wayward patient on a couch
skin thinner than a hot-dog wrapper
the Blizzard of Oz
a crazed, bitter man
Holy smokes. Who's the crazed bitter man again?
You read the article? There you go.
No, I learned long ago not to click on Mariotti suntimes.com links. I did read the blurb at the top of this page.
Sentence 1: Ozzie would be one of the zombies found by Will Smith.
Sentence 2: Ozzie would be Will Smith getting attacked by the zombies.
The premise really wasn't that complicated.
Jay Mariotti. Said this. Jay Mariotti. Holy.
spitball-shooting, booger-nosed jerk
poor babe
man-child
a wayward patient on a couch
skin thinner than a hot-dog wrapper
the Blizzard of Oz
a crazed, bitter man
Read it and weep, Buzz.
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