Now, was that so hard? [Hint, hint, Clemens.]

If I was a baseball player who wanted to admit something, today would definitely be the day that I did it.

Say it ain't so Glenallen, say it ain't so.

If I was a baseball player who wanted to admit something, today would definitely be the day that I did it.

If you were Glenallen Hill, nobody would care what you admitted whenever you admitted it. You could admit to being a Nazi war criminal and people would yawn.

Is it true that Glenallen Hill once had a nightmare about spiders, woke up in a frenzy, broke some glass, and injured himself?

Is it true that Glenallen Hill once had a nightmare about spiders, woke up in a frenzy, broke some glass, and injured himself?

I believe that is true, except the waking up. I was under the impression that the entire episode happened while he remained asleep.

Is it true that Glenallen Hill once had a nightmare about spiders, woke up in a frenzy, broke some glass, and injured himself?

Yes. (Supposedly. Lots of the humorous injury stories turn out to be cover stories for more mundane injuries sustained when players were doing what they weren't supposed to be doing. Like Jeff Kent. )

Matt Herges, Glenallen Hill release statements apologizing for past PED use

"I'm sorry I didn't take something that might actually make me a good ballplayer."

I don't know about that. I think you have it backwards. It seems more like players make up mundane stories to cover up for the more humorous injures. Maybe it just depends on your definition of humorous.

I know that if I hurt myself, a nightmare about spiders is the last story I'd fabricate, so I'm inclined to believe Hill.

I know that if I hurt myself, a nightmare about spiders is the last story I'd fabricate, so I'm inclined to believe Hill.

If you put your hand through glass and got yourself on the DL, you can invent a crazy story about a spider dream or you can say that you were drunk and punched a window. Which do you think would less endear you to your team?

At least Wally Joyner can produce medical records to verify his spider-delivered injury.

If you put your hand through glass and got yourself on the DL, you can invent a crazy story about a spider dream or you can say that you were drunk and punched a window. Which do you think would less endear you to your team?

Or you could be Joe Beimel and say that you cut your hand on a broken glass in your hotel bathroom, when multiple people saw you get in that bar fight last night...

...trusting in the abilities the Lord has blessed me with.

I felt that I owed it to God

If God hadn't wanted you boys to use steroids, he wouldn't have replaced Victor Conte with Francis Prestia in the Tower of Power.

He's Everywhere, you know.

So straighten up, all you evildoers out there. And stop wasting your company's time hanging out on the Internet or one day you'll p

'With great insincerity I chose to cross the line and briefly use performance enhancing substances...'

There, that's better.

Its like that ball on the rooftop never happened. sigh.

By using the phrase "Late in my career" not once but twice, and then also using the phrase "briefly", Hill's statement is STILL an attempt at mitigation. Not judging him....but even when these guys do the right thing, there is always some qualification and justification thrown in to try to mitigate the admission.

By using the phrase "Late in my career" not once but twice, and then also using the phrase "briefly", Hill's statement is STILL an attempt at mitigation. Not judging him....but even when these guys do the right thing, there is always some qualification and justification thrown in to try to mitigate the admission.

Pride. Notice that every player who has admitted PED use other than Canseco and Caminiti has always qualified their use with some combination of 1. Late in their career, 2. Recovering from an injury, or 3. Only used once or twice. Some of them are probably telling the truth. But this is starting to look like a pattern. Nobody wants to just come out and say they've been using since high school because it calls their entire career into question. Even guys who have no shot at making the HOF don't want to acknowledge that they may never have even had a Major League career without PEDs.

If this doesn't make you want to try steroids, nothing will.

Its like that ball on the rooftop never happened. sigh.

Damn. Beat me to it.

“After much thought and reflection, I felt that I owed it to God, my family and the Rockies’ organization to be completely forthcoming and truthful. I would like to extend my deepest apologies to the Rockies organization, to my family and friends, and to baseball fans across the country.”

This is priceless. Any moment now a second mea culpa will issue from Hill, wherein he says that he's giving his ill-gotten salary from his PED days to the guys who just missed making the club.

I'm not holding my breath.

"It's gotta be the shoes!"

Uh, no.

"It's gotta be the shoes!"

Uh, no.

So thats what Jordan meant

If you were Glenallen Hill, nobody would care what you admitted whenever you admitted it. You could admit to being a Nazi war criminal and people would yawn

I'm so sick of people like Glenallen Hill and Albert Belle and Chris Truby engaging in Nazi war atrocities.

I'm so sick of people like Glenallen Hill and Albert Belle and Chris Truby engaging in Nazi war atrocities.

but you're ok with Steve Garvey doing it?

"Nobody wants to just come out and say they've been using since high school because it calls their entire career into question."

I'm still waiting, hoping, for the guy--the ONE guy!!--that will come right out and admit to the world that he injected every designer steroid he can get his hands on straight into his veins right from age 19 forward, and just for the sake of being honest, not for the sake of selling a book and getting your name on TV. Will it ever happen?

but you're ok with Steve Garvey doing it?

It's not about being OK with it. It's about Nazi war atrocities being an essential part of what Steve Garvey is. Steve Garvey, by definition, is one who commits Nazi war atrocities. And molests children.

Paxton Crawford can break hotel glass with his gaze

I'm still waiting, hoping, for the guy--the ONE guy!!--that will come right out and admit to the world that he injected every designer steroid he can get his hands on straight into his veins right from age 19 forward, and just for the sake of being honest, not for the sake of selling a book and getting your name on TV. Will it ever happen?

Canseco basically did this and said he wouldn't have played in the MLB and now everybody thinks he pee's pants.

Paxton Crawford can break hotel glass with his gaze

Whatever. Glass was terrified of Rice. Spiders too. As a matter of fact, I'm sure Mr. Hill was having a horrible nightmare about Jim Rice. Rice is like Cthulu. You don't have to even pitch against him. He scares the #### out of you in your sleep.

I wonder what Caminiti would say if he were alive today? He always struck me as more credible than Canseco ever could dream to be.

I'm still waiting, hoping, for the guy--the ONE guy!!--that will come right out and admit to the world that he injected every designer steroid he can get his hands on straight into his veins right from age 19 forward, and just for the sake of being honest, not for the sake of selling a book and getting your name on TV. Will it ever happen?

Canseco did that. Sure, he was trying to sell a book afterward. But he bragged about steroids before the book and still brags about doing steroids.

I wonder what Caminiti would say if he were alive today?

HELP!!! SOMEBODY GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS BOX!!

I wonder what Caminiti would say if he were alive today?

HELP!!! SOMEBODY GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS BOX!!

Please: don't ever do this again.

Caminiti was cremated.

Has anyone ever snorted ashes?

I mean, anyone reading this

I wonder what Caminiti would say if he were alive today?

HELP!!! SOMEBODY GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS BOX!!

That's got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read on this site. Holy crap.

Caminiti was cremated.

In Twilight Samurai, directed by Yôji Yamada, there is a terrific bit toward the end when the nominal villain, munches on the cremated remains of a family member. Crunchy. and well worth renting. Yamada is experiencing a late career rebirth as he has been making great movies, one after another, of late after turning out mainstream fare/junk for the most part earlier on.

If God hadn't wanted you boys to use steroids, he wouldn't have replaced Victor Conte with Francis Prestia in the Tower of Power.

He's Everywhere, you know.

So straighten up, all you evildoers out there. And stop wasting your company's time hanging out on the Internet or one day you'll p

I take it that's a warning?

RDF.

Best Regards

John

His .074 career postseason batting average is forever tainted.

Has anyone ever snorted ashes?

I have. It made me sneeze and I didn't get anything from it. Could be because my grandma lived a pretty clean life though.

Rice is like Cthulu.

It is true that Lovecraft, as a staunch New Englander, almost certainly would've been a Red Sox fan.

In his house at Fenway dead Jim Rice lies dreaming.

Lots of the humorous injury stories turn out to be cover stories for more mundane injuries sustained when players were doing what they weren't supposed to be doing. Like Jeff Kent.

Have any players been injured doing Jeff Kent?