This is funny and pretty well thought out. I'd love to see either what the author or some of the more clever primates might have in mind for the AL?

I imagine the Red Sox would have to be some band who had a long time cult following and put out really interesting stuff for a long time, only to win mainstream success while selling out their artistic souls and ultimately being derided as sell-outs by many. Can't think of a good group to fit it offhand, but that's one story that would work, I think...

As an exacting music nerd, I pronounce this post "well done" and "funny."

As a Nats fan, I'm very happy to have my team be compared to New Order. Very apt.

Oakland As = Michael Jackson?
Success in the 70s. Broke up the group.
Success in the 80s.

Then an obsession with drugs, weirdness ( stats! ) and a predilection for a youth movement

Red Sox = Goo Goo Dolls? Prior to "A Boy Named Goo", they were actually pretty cool.

Red Sox = Modest Mouse (or pretty much any other Indie band that found success from REM onward).

Really cool until everyone else found out about them. Now overexposed.

Red Sox = Modest Mouse (or pretty much any other Indie band that found success from REM onward).

Really cool until everyone else found out about them. Now overexposed.

Daisuke Matsuzaka=Johnny Marr?

This a clever column. Old idea but done well. I look forward to the AL.

Red Sox = Modest Mouse

I think the Red Sox will have to be much higher profile than Modest Mouse--the Red Sox were never really a baseball indie band. I am thinking U2--long history with an Irish connection, beloved by millions, hated by millions, many loyal fans, many great moments, many awful moments, seen as innovative and exciting by many, and rich and obnoxious by many, prone to drama among the fans and the group members, always in the news.

Just about the only thing I would dispute is the Rockies = Flaming Lips association, since the Lips had already gotten as good as they would ever get by the time "She Don't Use Jelly" It's a horrible song itself, but comes right in the middle of their glorious '90s streak running from In A Priest-Driven Ambulance to The Soft Bulletin.

Clouds Taste Metallic is still the ultimate Lips album, with the unbelievable opening clocking of "The Abandoned Hospital Ship," "Psychedelic Exploration Of The Fetus With Needles," "Placebo Headwound" (which ends like a rocket blasting into the heavens), and "This Here Giraffe." And then later on, "Kim's Watermelon Gun" and "When You Smile."

Damn, I gotta go listen to the album right now.

Red Sox = U2, part 2:

High-profile spokesman often criticized by huge numbers of people for being a publicity hound and using his celebrity to further political agendas; same guy is simultaneously also seen by a huge group of people as accessible, decent and fan-friendly. Signature song and signature moment both involve the word "bloody." Both have made use of new technology to further brand recognition and get competitive edge.

This is great stuff. However, I'm not sure about the Giants = Grateful Dead. I yield to no one in my loathing of jam bands, but this is an insult to the Dead. The Giants these days are more like Gary Cherone-era Van Halen. You just want them to stop and go away.

The Marlins are Richard Hell, based on the levels of crass nihilism at work.

The Rockies are Alice Cooper on opposite day, in that they got better after becoming Christians.

The Yankees are Guided By Voices, in that they're the best ever.

Clouds Taste Metallic is still the ultimate Lips album, with the unbelievable opening clocking of "The Abandoned Hospital Ship," "Psychedelic Exploration Of The Fetus With Needles," "Placebo Headwound" (which ends like a rocket blasting into the heavens), and "This Here Giraffe." And then later on, "Kim's Watermelon Gun" and "When You Smile."

Clouds Taste Metallic is indeed awesome, but I have to say I like The Soft Bulletin more. I did listen to the latter first (since I was 8 years old when Clouds Taste Metallic came out) but listening to both quite a bit hasn't changed my opinion yet. Maybe it's because the whole alt-rock thing was before my time. :)

Sox=U2 doesn't quite fit... but its not bad
maybe some band that was linked to a venerable old venue

This is great stuff. However, I'm not sure about the Giants = Grateful Dead. I yield to no one in my loathing of jam bands, but this is an insult to the Dead. The Giants these days are more like Gary Cherone-era Van Halen. You just want them to stop and go away.

Giants as GD has the added benefit of having the san francisco connection

The New York Yankees are Fleetwood Mac. Tremendously successful in the late 1970s and early 1980s, when friction between the band members/players made them more like a soap opera than a band/baseball team. Suffered through fallow years in the late 1980s, hitting rock bottom in the early 1990s, but made a notable comeback in the late 1990s, with a much calmer personna than seen in the 1970s. Disappointed in the mid-2000s following the retirement of its most respected and stable member (Christine McVie/Bernie Williams). Sheryl Crow = Alex Rodriguez?

Red Sox = Modest Mouse (or pretty much any other Indie band that found success from REM onward).

Really cool until everyone else found out about them. Now overexposed.

Hey, I think Modest Mouse still puts out good stuff. They might not be as great as they used to be, but I'd still listen to their latest over almost all of the newer indie bands.

Red Sox? Kiss.

Left for dead, but always a moneymaker, they returned bigger and better than ever.

Yankees? The Beatles.

You hate them, you love them, but they're like oxygen: everywhere.

Giants? The Monkees.

They're not your stepping stone.

Dodgers? The Stones.

I grant -- I say this as a Giants fan.

Hey, I think Modest Mouse still puts out good stuff.

So do I, but they are not as cool as they used to be (cool being a measure of what you know that someone else doesn't).

I mean, the Red Sox are still good obviously, they just are not as interesting to root for.

And if Modest Mouse isn't big enough to be analogous than I think REM is probably the best band, with Automatic For the People equaling the 2004 World Series.

I imagine the Red Sox would have to be some band who had a long time cult following and put out really interesting stuff for a long time, only to win mainstream success while selling out their artistic souls and ultimately being derided as sell-outs by many. Can't think of a good group to fit it offhand, but that's one story that would work, I think...

Metallica?

I like The Mariners and Buffalo Springfield. Tremendous homegrown talent bolstered by an unpolished Youngster from Canada. Never achieved much success as a unit, but individual members had tremendous success elsewhere. Admittedly, would be a better analogy if ARod had a ring or two, but 2 MVPs and nearly a half billion in post Seattle earnings counts as tremendous success of a kind.

Maybe Santana or Jefferson Airplane/Jefferson Starship/Starship for the A's. In addition to the Bay Area connection, all had great success in the past, followed by periods of relative obscurity, followed by more success in different incarnations.

edit: OK, Starship never had much success, but then neither did Beane, aside from the book royalties.

It is unimaginable that someone could like a Lips album more than The Soft Bulletin.

TSB was their Tommy.

I would have the Yankees as the Beatles, still have #1 selling albums decades after their initial success.

Another vote here for Clouds Taste Metallic. Seeing the Lips at Maxwell's on my birthday the week that album came out is one of my favorite music memories of all-time. They opened with "The Abandoned Hospital Ship" with a single spotlight on Wayne and when the song transitioned from the warbled vocal and single guitar line into the full-band wall of sound, thousands of Christmas lights covering the walls, ceiling and drum kit popped on suddenly, illuminating the room. It was a perfectly cheesy moment but every single person in the room had a huge smile.

Damn, I gotta go listen to the album right now too.