The Pirates should sign Ted Wass that day. Or Bob.

Wasn't it just a few days ago that the Rays were making a mockery of the game?

It's about time baseball had a Throw Momma from the Train Appreciation Day™.

First Lou Gehrig... then, Catfish Hunter... please let it happen in threes.

Oh, thank goodness. I saw the headline and the icy hand of despair grabbed me by the throat as I envisioned Billy Crystal in the broadcasters' booth.

aww, good for billy.

William Kristol is funnier.

You suck Billy!

I guess the Sox are going to have to counter by signing Charles Rocket.

I guess the Sox are going to have to counter by signing Charles Rocket.

Small problem.

If the White Sox let the Yankees get away with this and don't give Minnie Minoso an at bat this year, I will be pissed.

"I'm Tomokazu Ohka of the Montreal Expos!"
"And I'm Esteban Yan of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays!"
"And I'm the person at the baseball game that nobody likes!"
"Who, the umpire?"
"No. Billy Crystal."

That's not a problem. The death of Crystal's career hasn't stopped him.

One freak funnyman collision later and A-Rod and Jeter are out for the year.

Hey babe, maybe it is time to get hip and let Jackie Rogers Jr. get some serious shag time in the outfield man.

Wow, a Sammy Petrillo reference. Perhaps Bela Lugosi can pinch hit.

How did MST3K miss out on Sammy and his ersatz Dean Martin partner?

I don't see what all the snarkiness is about. Crystal is a "True Yankee" that will have a positive affect on A-Rod. Will he be penciled into the rotation, too?

Crystal, who will turn 60 on March 14, will wear uniform No. 60 in the game.

Why not 61*?

Well done, v of d.

If Crystal were really serious, he would have done this with a Giants. There's a good chance that he could have made the team.

Yesterday it was the bad idea of having a hockey game in Yankee Stadium (instead of a Giants game, heavyweight fight or Grambling football as Ian O'Connor in the Bergen record suggests). Today it's putting a comedian without a hit movie in 15 years in uniform. What abomination will they come up with tomorrow? Change the Magical Yankee Pinstripes for 1970s Astros Rainbow uniforms? Retire Ed Whitson's number? Put Mike Lupica in the booth?

This is utterly nauseating. I can't fathom the level of smirking smarmy-ness that will ooze out of this situation. As if the Yankees didn't get wanked enough by every hack sports journalist on the eastern seaboard, now they have to bring in Billy Crystal and his life-long fantasy. In a strictly baseball sense I have no problem with the Yankees as a team, but it's this kind of thing that makes me loathe the organization and the media that deifies it. Blech.

George Plimpton spins in his grave.

I can't fathom the level of smirking smarmy-ness that will ooze out of this situation.

I can't fathom how this could approach, on a smarmy-ness scale, Garth Brooks coaxing spring training invites under the auspices of his charitable foundation. At least Crystal isn't doing it under any pretense.

I can't find anything negative to say about this, largely because the only emotion this elicits in me is deep envy.

Will that guy from Tampa Bay run Crystal over?

I am OK with it. Crystal always struck me as an OK guy, supports charities and is a big Yankee fan. Let him enjoy it - we should all be that lucky.

While his career has slowed, it isn't dead. He recently won a Tony for 700 Sundays, did Analyze This/That a few years ago - did voice work in a couple hit pixar flix. I think he may have been in one of the funniest 2 seconds in the history of film (when Owen hits him in the head with a frying pan in Throw Momma From the Train).

I don't hate Billy Crystal, but I happened to catch a few minutes of an old stand up show he did on HBO a million years ago and I was struck by how painfully unfunny it was. Yikes!

That said, I finally saw Louis C.K. live last week. That was fun.

Look over yonder
What do you see?
uhhh...Billy Crystal's Yankee blue pinstripe persuasion?

good entertainment. congrats, billy.

I had to check to be sure it didn't say "Onion: Yankees to sign comedian Billy Crystal".

did voice work in a couple hit pixar flix

He did a very nice job indeed in "Howl's Moving Castle", and I was ready for him to do an awful job (like Mark Hamill's godawful work in "Castle in the Sky"). I was wrong. Edit: And yes, I know that wasn't Pixar.

Overheard on the bench...

Crystal: (sitting down after striking out) Wow, did you see that? The third pitch was way inside, up by my ear!

Giambi: Aw, that's nothin'. Two words: intestinal parasite.

Crystal: Oooh, yeah, that'll put a lot of runs on the board.

Giambi: Yeah, I hate when that happens.

Crystal: Say, did you ever have a Yankee Dog, and, uh...

Giambi: Accidentally squirt the mustard into your eye?

Crystal: Yeah.

Giambi: Yeah, just the other day. Then I tried to wipe it out of my eye with, uh...

Crystal: The rosin bag?

Giambi: Yeah. It sealed my eyelid shut, with the mustard still in there. Man, that'll mess you up.

Crystal: Yeah, I hate when that happens.

Giambi: Hey, did you ever have to...

Crystal: Apologize for something to the public without actually mentioning what you were apologizing for?

Giambi: Yeah.

Crystal: Yeah, I hate that. I had to do that when I injected myself with...

Giambi: With... uh...

(voice from the first row) ...with vitamin B-12!

Crystal: ...uh, yeah, B-12.

Giambi: Yeah.

(voice from the first row) Yeah, that's the ticket! Except I didn't inject myself. It was injected by my wife... Morgan Fairchild!

Crystal: (peering over the dugout roof) Lovitz? Is that you?

Jon Lovitz: Of course it's me.

Crystal: What are you doing here?

Lovitz: Hank told me it's Dead-Career SNL Comedians' Day. Look! (rummages through plastic bag) I got a Melanie Hutsell bobblehead!

Giambi: I hate when that happens.

I think he may have been in one of the funniest 2 seconds in the history of film (when Owen hits him in the head with a frying pan in Throw Momma From the Train).

Also from Spinal Tap - when he was barking at the servers at the cocktail party (who were all dressed as mimes) - "come on, come on! Mime is money." Stupid, but funny.

Cashman wanted to sign a young Dominican comic, but Hank overruled him.

He looked pretty good in that Cubs jersey in Running Scared. Underrated 80s flick, in my opinion.

He looked pretty good in that Cubs jersey in Running Scared. Underrated 80s flick, in my opinion.

Hablo Smith and Wesson. You have the right to remain DEAD. Anything you do will be used against you. You have the right to a coroner. If you cannot afford one, we will appoint a medical examiner for you.

#33 is an 80 post. Well done....

Agreed, #33 is awesome.

Gotta go. Final Jeopardy's on.

I call dibs on his baseball-reference page!

OK one more: "Have fun storming the castle!"

If Crystal were really serious, he would have done this with a Giants. There's a good chance that he could have made the team.


Let's not get crazy here. Crystal is far too young for Sabean.

Does he actually get to play?

He's a front runner all the way. In that City Slickers thing he wore a Met hat, and pretty much was all over the Mets during his brief SNL tenure.

I hope they aren't giving away a crystal ball as a promotion.

Didn't one of the Wilpons give a certain amount to charity for him to wear a Mets hat in that movie? I seem to remember that.

I think he may have been in one of the funniest 2 seconds in the history of film...

Run Joe Run totally beat me to it in 34, but here's the entire bit of brilliance:

"No, you don't push the wind away, the wind comes at you. Ok change those, get the little dwarf canolies. Come on, don't talk back, mime is money, come on, move it."

OK one more: "Have fun storming the castle!"

I stand corrected. His career is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.

I stand corrected. His career is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.

VI, MVP of the thread.