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Monday, June 23, 2008

Mondesishouse.com: FIELD TRIP: THE PIRATES ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SECTION

A long, troubling photo-illustrated review of a Sunday at PNC Park with some AYCE tickets in hand.

Actually, I didn’t see much “abuse” from the AYCE customers. It’s not as if there was some enormous guy walking back and forth the entire game with four burgers in his hand at all times. The speed of the line clearly discourages a lot of people. Some employees looked like they were trying to keep up with the crush; others looked like they were moving in suuuuper---slooooow----motion.

The way I saw it, most people loaded up on burgers and dogs in the early innings, then supplemented that with nachos and ice cream down the stretch, with ample drink refills throughout. A decent number of paying customers would use their entire four-item allocation on their own personal tray of drinks.

But as I looked around the stadium, I noticed something that was really sad: the complete and total apathy of the crowd. The Pirate “fans” have to rank among the worst in the league, and it’s not entirely their fault. As I said earlier, the fact that anyone is still showing up for these games is a minor miracle.

They come for the atmosphere, for the day out of the house and under the sun, for the Italian Day, for the hot dog toss, for the all-you-can-eat burgers, and for the Freddy Sanchez banner for their kid. If the Pirates win, it’s a nice bonus, but win or lose, the end result really doesn’t matter to the majority of those in attendance. They’re totally numb to the on-field action. And while the Pirates could only muster an eclectic collection of 10 singles today, it wasn’t as if they were ever out of the game at any point.

Hat tip to Awful Announcing.

Greg Franklin Posted: June 23, 2008 at 02:08 PM | 18 comment(s)
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   1. Shooty misses Bill King Posted: June 23, 2008 at 02:27 PM (#2830011)
Actually, I didn’t see much “abuse” from the AYCE customers. It’s not as if there was some enormous guy walking back and forth the entire game with four burgers in his hand at all times.

I guess the Nats weren't in town.
   2. Walt Davis Posted: June 23, 2008 at 02:27 PM (#2830012)
Freddy Sanchez banner for their kid

Pirates fans should have their children taken away.
   3. RB in NYC (Now a Man with Options! Maybe!) Posted: June 23, 2008 at 02:28 PM (#2830014)
It’s not as if there was some enormous guy walking back and forth the entire game with four burgers in his hand at all times.
Hey, Livan plays for the Twins now!
   4. Shooty misses Bill King Posted: June 23, 2008 at 02:30 PM (#2830017)
Hey, Livan plays for the Twins now!

Screw you RB, I win!
   5. RB in NYC (Now a Man with Options! Maybe!) Posted: June 23, 2008 at 02:38 PM (#2830037)
Screw you RB, I win!
Yeah well, I have an as-yet-undecided form of revenge for when we go out on boozin' after the 7/18 game. So screw you!
   6. Shooty misses Bill King Posted: June 23, 2008 at 02:40 PM (#2830040)
Yeah well, I have a as-yet-undecided form of revenge for when we go out on boozin' after the 7/18 game. So screw you!

Ha. I'll just bring up a blow-up goat and you'll be too distracted with lust to carry out your plan.
   7. Watch Crispix Attacks geek out Posted: June 23, 2008 at 05:29 PM (#2830190)
Here's the deal with Pirates fans. When the Pirates are losing, the fans do nothing, because we all assume the Pirates are going to lose, so it's as if everything is going according to plan. However, when the Pirates do something good, the fans notice, and cheer for a couple minutes, after which they become silent again. Also, in the ninth inning if the Pirates have the lead, and there are two outs, they stand up and make loud noises. However, if the Pirates are losing, the crowd makes no noise at all in the ninth inning, unless the Pirates get two men on base, at which point it becomes conceivably possible that they might come close to having an 0.1% chance of winning the game.

In general, the crowd does nothing, whether or not the loudspeaker is urging them to do something. Which could be seen as better than some crowds I've heard about, which react like automatons to whatever the P.A. system suggests would be a good idea (generally involving meaningless cheers at random points in the game).

Also, the crowd boos if
A) Barry Bonds comes to the plate
B) A Pirates pitcher walks the bases loaded or gives up two straight walks.

Given the fact that the Pirates haven't played a meaningful game since 1993 or whatever, the only problem I see with this scenario is that the tickets are too high and the crowd is limited to those who express their apathy in boring ways. What I'd like to see is a scene like circa- 1980 Indians and Mets games, where there are 40,000 empty seats at every game and half of the guys in the stadium are random 25-year-old drunks who show up at the game because it's the only place where they might become locally famous just for getting into a drunken fight or heckling people shirtlessly. That would at least be memorable apathy for the casual fan.
   8. Dan Szymborski Posted: June 23, 2008 at 05:35 PM (#2830196)
There are people who will vote in the upcoming election that weren't yet potty-trained when the Pirates last played a meaningful game.

Why should there be anything but apathy for the team itself? All-you-can-eat-burgers is simply a better product than the Pirates have been.
   9. Tim Lincecum-stain (SuperBaes) Posted: June 23, 2008 at 05:36 PM (#2830198)
Given the fact that the Pirates haven't played a meaningful game since 1993 or whatever

October 14th, 1992. I was eleven. I consider that day the end of my childhood.

You nailed it, Crispix: Pittsburgh fans, in general, cheer for winners and are completely apathetic to losers. Instead of being competitive, the ownership group is more content to turn turnstiles with mindless promotions and media appeals to the blue-collar nature of the city.
   10. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: June 23, 2008 at 05:47 PM (#2830209)
"Instead of being competitive, the ownership group is more content to turn turnstiles with mindless promotions and media appeals to the blue-collar nature of the city."

So, funny story. My immediate boss just announced on Friday that she's leaving to spend more time with her family (two young kids - I don't blame her at all). They already had a new guy lined up, brought him in today... and it's the Pirates' former director of marketing. The guy who came up with the Pierogie race and all that stuff.

I still haven't decided how I feel about it.
   11. Justin Zeth, dog Posted: June 23, 2008 at 05:49 PM (#2830214)
The Pirates' real fans stopped coming to the games years ago. You can't blame them.

For God's sake, look at the Penguins. As soon as they showed a hint of starting to be good again, the fans poured out of the woodwork. They have maybe the worst arena in the NHL, and fans just packed that place out, and the tickets are crazy expensive.

I kind of like that about Pittsburgh fans: They refuse to patronize the thieves that own the city's baseball team.
   12. Tim Lincecum-stain (SuperBaes) Posted: June 23, 2008 at 06:06 PM (#2830228)
So, funny story. My immediate boss just announced on Friday that she's leaving to spend more time with her family (two young kids - I don't blame her at all). They already had a new guy lined up, brought him in today... and it's the Pirates' former director of marketing. The guy who came up with the Pierogie race and all that stuff.

I still haven't decided how I feel about it.


I would target him for every cruel joke I made and physically strike him whenever possible. Not that I dislike Pierogie races or anything; it would just be a manifestation of my frustration with the baseball team I love.

But you should never let him get away with Chris Duffy night happening after Duffy snapped and disappeared. Or the new Bucco Boy. It would be almost as much fun as working with Steve Phillips.
   13. Hey, it's what Johan uses (Matt) Posted: June 23, 2008 at 10:18 PM (#2830519)
But it's such a cool stadium.
   14. Exploring Leftist Conservatism since 2008 (ark..) Posted: June 23, 2008 at 11:30 PM (#2830558)
I still haven't decided how I feel about it.


Go with "badly".
   15. Lassus Posted: June 23, 2008 at 11:47 PM (#2830571)
But it's such a cool stadium.

I'm actually thinking of going out there this summer to catch a game and find some random golf course to play on over a weekend.
   16. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: June 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM (#2830575)
The Duffy thing's not a fair nit to pick. My boss left before the '03 season, and Duffy was still two years away from even making the majors at that point.
   17. Tim Lincecum-stain (SuperBaes) Posted: June 24, 2008 at 12:48 AM (#2830606)
I'm actually thinking of going out there this summer to catch a game and find some random golf course to play on over a weekend.

Go play Quicksilver.

The Duffy thing's not a fair nit to pick. My boss left before the '03 season, and Duffy was still two years away from even making the majors at that point.

Didn't live here for a while so I missed a few, but wasn't their slogan "We're working on it" at one point in the late 90's or early 00's?
   18. jwb Posted: June 24, 2008 at 01:00 AM (#2830607)
The guy who came up with the Pierogie race and all that stuff.

I still haven't decided how I feel about it.
Would lunch hour pierogie races in the company cafeteria (is there one?) be a good thing for morale?
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