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---DMN
"Qualifications?"
"Stampeding cattle."
"That's not much of a crime."
"Through the Vatican?"
"Kinky! Sign here!"
"Mongo only pawn in game of life."
"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."
"Can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?"
-- "We don't care if it's the first act of 'Henry V,' we're leaving!"
"You'd do it for Randolph Scott."
(Dramatic pause)
-- "Randolph Scott!"
(Heavenly chorus) "Ran--dolph Scott!"
Dr. Sam Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
I have The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother here on DVD, but my girlfriend and I are such fans of the Wilder/Brooks material that we're afraid to watch for fear of major disappointment. Any recommendations?
P.S. Ronan Tynan's a moron.
"We've got to protect our phony baloney jobs, gentlemen!"
"He said the sheriff is near!"
-My all-time favorite movie
The guys I work with are either Jewish or Italian so the Jewish jokes and the jokes about Italians and Catholics are frequent. I'm just a white dude from California so I get the gay jokes and the Commie jokes and the occasional tree-hugger jokes thrown at me. We actually get along pretty well.
I said they were Jewish and Italian, I didn't say they were smart!
Ba-zing!
<heads to the corner for a time out>
Is that a joke against dentists? Are you an anti-dentite?
Mel Brooks was on the old Costas NBC late night show about 20 years ago, and he was talking about the scene where the sheriff and Lili get together. In the movie, the lights go out, and you hear an unzipping sound - after which she says, "It's true, it's true, it's true." Brooks said that, in order to appease the MPAA, he had to cut the next line, which was the sheriff saying: "You're sucking on my arm."
Size does matter, I guess.
I think Swoboda just wanted an excuse to pull out a Seinfeld reference.
It's supposed to be ironic.
He made a joke to an acquaintance of his right outside the door to his home; it's not like his paused in the middle of "God Bless America." Why this is anyone's business is beyond me.
Says the guy named after a giant lumberjack.
Too little, too late. The guy doesn't have a leg to stand on.
There's only one way we can go out: SINGING!
Two hundred thousand acres? Two hundred thousand acres? What'll it cost, man, what'll it cost?
A box of these [paddleballs].
Are you crazy? They'll never go for it. And then again they might. Those little red devils... they love toys!
and
These things are defective.
"Somebody's gonna have to go back and get a shitload of dimes."
"Oh, I'm sorry sir. You're supposed to say that."
"What?"
"'Meeting is adjurned.'"
"It is?"
"No, you're supposed to say that."
"What?"
"'Meeting is adjurned.'"
"It is?"
"Never mind. Here, play with this."
"What the hell is this?"
"This is the bill that will convert the state hospital for the insane into the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino for the insane."
"Gentlemen, this bill will be a giant step forward in the treatment of the insane gambler."
"I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille."
"I got it! I got it!"
"You do?"
"We'll work up a Number 6 on 'em."
"'Number 6'"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one."
"Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whompin' and a-whoopin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course."
"You spare the women?"
"Naw, we rape the sh!t out of them at the Number Six Dance later on."
Bart: "And they was right."
"I'm not sure. Are we black?"
"We are."
"Then we are awake, but we are very puzzled."
Jim: Oh, I don't know. Play chess... screw...
Bart: [quickly] Well, let's play chess.
Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben?
Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
Lili Von Shtupp: Well, then how about a little...
[whispers in his ear]
Bart: Baby, please! I am not from Havana.
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
Jim: Oh, boys! Lookee what I got heyuh.
Bart: Hey, where the white women at?
Isn't this quote wrong?
Yes. It's "We'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks. But we don't want the Irish!"
It's the Chinks, I believe.
If you're a Blazing Saddles fan, think you know every joke in the movie and were not previously aware of this, you're going to love it.
"Fartiste" might be my new favorite word.
Word? I'm plugging it into Monster.com right now!
Peoples, a very funny line went un-noted. Well done sir.
Tynan has, I believe, two prosthetic legs.
Bad week for gasbags, wasn’t it? What with that insipid balloon nonsense in Colorado (honestly …. some people’s parents) and this latest bit of news that over-wrought, pretentious bag of wind Ronan Tynan won’t be committing audio assault during Yankees post-season games any more.
You can read the story here but the bottom line is that the freeloading, middling Irish tenor who glad-handed his way regularly into George Steinbrenner’s private box and became as tiresome a presence at Yankees games as Rudy Giuliani apparently dropped a few anti-Semitic comments recently.
It’s always nice when your suspicions about someone turn out to be accurate. Besides, the ‘God Bless America’ tripe is old. I’d rather watch another commercial than hearing some sap from ‘American Idol’ or some faux country blonde butcher the song.
.
Because if the Yankees don't take a strong stand the next thing you know somebody will have Hitler singing GBA.
Or something.
It's a straight cost/benefit analysis for the Yankees. Might somehow cost them some money to have Tyan perform. Won't cost them anything to make the gesture.
Why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.
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