Sachs: Hey Fans! Iiiiiiiit’s The Fake Michael Kay On Twitter! Who But!

A-ha! The Tony Rosato stone.

Fake Michael Kay’s tweets weren’t meant as a tribute to the real Michael Kay—quite the opposite, in fact. As some of the missives indicate, they were intended to reveal the depths of Kay’s stupidity and, with any luck, start a grassroots movement to get him fired.

“Hey fans! In case you’re just joining us, there’s been some drama that I have completely made up!”

“Hey fans! Lineups! First pitch! Baseball! Rambling! Bad jokes! Making you want to kill yourself! Next!”

“Hey fans! Tune in to my show on ESPN Radio where I shock the world every day by showing I know even less about other sports than baseball!”

Kay’s catchphrases, his plugs for sponsor W.B. Mason (“Who But!”), his overblown praise for Derek Jeter, his incessant pitch counts, his frequent insinuations that broadcast cohort David Cone is a drunk, all were fair game for Fake Michael Kay. And believe me, the Real Michael Kay gave the fake one plenty of material to work with.

But a funny thing happened on the way to getting Kay his pink slip. Rather than groaning and turning the sound off when Kay unleashed another “Track! Wall! SEE YA!” or did things like mentioning a pitcher’s “zaftig” ERA (which he really did on at least one occasion), I began to look forward to hearing his Kay-isms every night.