Sports Justice: Hello, Barry, this is Drayton

But, but Bonds might cut into some primo Reggie Abercrumbie AB’s!

Go for it, Drayton. He might just be the best offensive player of all-time. Since he got big, there’s almost no argument. No one has done the things Barry has done.

He changed games unlike any other. Opposing pitchers began preparing for him an inning before he was scheduled to hit. If Cecil Cooper batted Barry third, Lance Berkman suddenly would be leading the world in RBI opportunities.

The Astros wouldn’t have an empty seat in the house, and you know how many hot dogs that will sell. Hear that sound? That’s the cash register ringing. See the standings? The Astros would be moving up.

With one move, they’d blow Michael Phelps and Manny and Brett right off ESPN. Drayton would be the man. Think of the TV time for you, Drayton. For me, too, but that’s beside the point. The entire country would be talking about the Astros.

Frankly, the Astros have a reputation for wanting guys that look and sound alike. Barry isn’t like any of the other Astros. Nothing wrong with that. Do it!