Sportsline: Dobrow: The Dud-ville Nine: There’s no joy in watching these dull players

Since Fred Harris and Brendan Boyd ain’t doing squat…

9. Andruw Jones, Los Angeles Dodgers: The tasks he no longer completes with much distinction include running, hitting and fielding. Sure, he still enjoys the Gold Glove reputation—ask regular Derek Jeter watchers just how long that rep can stick, no matter what a player does on the field to betray it –- but Jones’ bloated torso and knobby knees have negated whatever little athleticism he has left. But for the ‘u’ in Andruw, even his name would be boring.

5. Jeff Suppan, Milwaukee Brewers: He takes the ball. He throws the ball. He catches the ball. He repeats this process until the middle of the sixth inning, when hitters start smacking the bejesus out of him. Then he convalesces for five days and does it again. With all the cash Suppan makes—the Brewers shell out around $11 million per year for his trusty, reliable dependability – you would think he could afford to hire a publicist to highlight the more thrilling aspects of his game. Like his punctuality, for instance: When the ump screams, “Play ball!” Suppan can almost always be found in his assigned position on the mound, unlike David Wells or Dwight Gooden.

4. Lyle Overbay, Toronto Blue Jays: So boring and innocuous now that he no longer raps 40 doubles a season, I feel the need to embellish his bio. Here it goes: Lyle is the first-born son of Jor-El, a scientist, and Dina, a stage mom. He grew up in Verdunville, W.Va., and started playing baseball as a teenager after being turned away by the foreman of the local coal mine. He enjoys backgammon, line dancing and Finnish erotica. His favorite vowel is “sometimes Y.” He hopes one day to leg out a seventh triple or steal a 12th base.