Those numbers attached to the "slimmed down" and "cranked up" sections of the quote don't really inspire too much confidence. I hope he brought a box of wine or twelve.

Baseball needs more pitchers about whom you can say with a straight face that they "slimmed down to 245 pounds". That's priceless.

Buster Olney reported this morning that Kyle Lohse is willing to take a one year contract, and "multiple teams expressed no interest".

NOOOOOOO!!!!

Buster Olney reported this morning that Kyle Lohse is willing to take a one year contract, and "multiple teams expressed no interest".

I don't get it. Lohse is useful. Why the fiscal restraint all of a sudden?

I don't get it. Lohse is useful. Why the fiscal restraint all of a sudden?

He has a bad rep for his attitude. At least, I know he did in MN. I'm not sure if that's the motivator.

The first article I read on this mentioned that a dozen teams were expected to be at Ponson's exhibition, so hopefully he isn't necessarily ticketed back to the Cardinals.

I want to see the dollar figure attached to Lohse's one-year contract demand before I comment. Given his agent, it could well be for an exorbitant amount with a number of easily-vested, expensive option years tacked on.

According to Olney, it's "between $4 million and $10 million". Yeah, I know. Very useful.

Even at 1 year, $8 million, there should be teams lining up for the services of a LAIM. I just got done writing about this, but there's something about Lohse that GMs know that we don't.

That, or Olney's misinformed and Lohse's contract demands are still exorbitant.

Sidney Ponson reappears.

Time of eclipse, 2 hours, 34 minutes.

Next Full Ponson Eclipse, 9/8/2009, 02:14 GMT

I have no idea what the deal is with Lohse. He seemed indistinguishable from Carlos Silva a couple months ago.

Staying with the Phillies still seems like the most logical thing. Gavin Eaton is still not any good, none of the Durbins are likely to be any good, and I see no reason why Travis Blackley would be any good aside from the fact that they did use a Rule 5 pick on him, so they must see something they like. Come back Kyle!

Where can I find out if someone is a groundball or flyball pitcher, aside from just looking at home run rates?

Where can I find out if someone is a groundball or flyball pitcher, aside from just looking at home run rates?

The Hardball Times

Where can I find out if someone is a groundball or flyball pitcher, aside from just looking at home run rates?

Why, the Hardball Times of course! I'm pretty sure they do GB%

Coke or a beer, Pops?

Coke or a beer, Pops?

A beer if you're ever in Southern Indiana.

Slimmed down? He's listed on bb-ref at 225!

My memory had been kind to him. I would have guessed his last sub-5 ERA to have come much more recently than 2003.

Ponson, 2004-07:

468 2/3 IP, 6.26 ERA. It seems he sucks by the pound.

I'm guessing Sean got his numbers from say, this Sidney Ponson as opposed to this one.

Next Full Ponson Eclipse, 9/8/2009, 02:14 GMT

Is that per the Farmer's Almanac, or a ZIPS projection?

I like the use of the word "reappears". Like he's the Jersey Devil or something, rampaging through the village after everyone thought he had drowned in the swamp.

No fat pitcher thread is complete without the Jimmy Anderson photo.

And the Ruben Quevedo photo.

I think they should have used "resurfaces" instead of "reappears". It captures the Sir Sidney aesthetic better, in my opinion. Good luck to the Aruban Judge-Puncher, and stay off the Jupiter beaches, Florida magistrates!

And a new classic, Bartolo Colon in the costume he wore as Seth in Superbad.

This guy set the standard that all fat pitchers can only hope to achieve.

I like Then and Now for Fat Pitchers:

Livan Hernandez: Then and Now

Bartolo Colon: Then and Now

It's like The Biggest Loser in reverse!

David Wells: Then and Now

As long as he didn't topple an isolated lighthouse or eat a longshoreman or a policeman, I guess no harm is done in his resurfacing.

I still await his long awaited Sumo match with David Wells..............

LAIM

This is killing me. I think I've got the "League Average" part. I'll bet that 'I' is "Innings." 'M'? League Average Innings Marauder? League Average Innings Mop-up-guy?


Edit: I really hate these acronyms. IIRC... AFAICT... just type out the damn phrase!

Lard Ass Island Man? No, that's Ponson, not Lohse.

Muncher. Tim Wakefield is the Patron Saint of LAIMs.

He has a bad rep for his attitude. At least, I know he did in MN. I'm not sure if that's the motivator.

I think Boras is his agent as well.

Best Regards

John

Really? Really?

31 posts and not one mention of El Guapo?

Colon actually looks like an athlete in that Indians picture.

The Cardinals will lend former pitcher Sidney Ponson a place and a mound to throw for scouts Thursday at lunchtime.

I'm thinking Ponson's more interested in the free lunch than the mound.

Batgirl had a lot of fun with Lohse's temper.

DAMN I miss Batgirl.

Is Nick Johnson really this fat?

That does not look like a normal body shape, even a fat body shape. It looks like he has a hot water bottle sticking out of the top of his pants, bulging out the bottom of his shirt.

Probably a trick of the photography.

It might be the wind. He's got the double chin going and that's what made me think he actually was that fat.

LAIM = League Average Innings Muncher ?