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Baseball Primer Newsblog— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand
Friday, July 25, 2008
I once asked a prominent relief pitcher to describe the most idiotic thing he had witnessed in the big leagues. “That’s easy,” he said, and launched into the story of a former teammate—an All-Star outfielder—who refused to use toilet paper. A clubhouse attendant supplied the player with a daily ration of hand towels, which, when soiled, would be flushed.
One afternoon the reliever came in from batting practice to find the locker room awash in frantic maintenance workers. When he asked a plumber what all the fuss was about, he was told that a washcloth-clogged toilet had overflowed and was threatening to submerge the bathroom stalls. “Of all the dumb stuff I’ve seen that particular outfielder do,” the stopper told me, “that was the dumbest.”
That particular outfielder was, of course, Manny Ramirez.
It’s just….
MANNY BEING MANNY!
Hat-tip (I guess) to Deadspin. I’m not sure whether to laugh or throw up now.
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i'll throw up. i'm used to it after watching the cards/brewers all week.
I'm not proud. I would totally let kevin reach into the muck to pull me out some cuff links.
Then reach in there yourself, Magellan.
Naw. I defer to the experts!
This is going to be a good thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ciEDMN35xE
The ones I've come up with are Foulke, Gagne, Lyon, and Todd Jones, all of whom could be described as "prominent" and are former teammates of Manny.
I'm picturing a sort of super-sized litter box...
Yep. Going to be a good thread.
Also, the Sawx should think about trading Julio Lugo for a bidet. Win-win!
The other team has to take Julio Lugo, plus take a hit in the hygiene department. That's win-win?
Does "stopper" = "closer"? I figured "stopper" can be used for any pitcher, especially a reliever, but not necessarily a closer.
That musta made a Mesa things.
Good point.
Does "stopper" = "closer"? I figured "stopper" can be used for any pitcher, especially a reliever, but not necessarily a closer.
I've always used it interchangeably with closer. It kind of shows the evolution of the role, doesn't it?
Only to the people who have to clean up after him. Manny himself seems more princessy and high maintenance than disgusting.
The more I think about it, the more luxurious it sounds. If I win the lottery, I'm stocking up on hand towels.
Having a toilet full of soiled towels - not to mention the soil itself - back up on you and flood your bathroom sounds a mite insanitary to me.
It's almost lunch time for those of us on the Left Coast. Guess I need to bail (Get it? Bail?) on reading this thread.
Yep, me too GGC. In this context, I suppose Manny is the stopper...
Too bad he specified "relief pitcher," or else we could have assumed it was Schilling and turned the rest of this thread into a shiitstorm.
Well, la-dee-da, Mr. Fancy.
It's been a non-stop Rip Manny-a-thon there for a month now. Why would you add grist to their loathsome mill?
wrong thread
It's the quicker shitter stuffer!
I duuno. It's Friday and I'm bored. I haven't listened to them in ages; games excepted. The Governor is on this afternnon doing his best to defend him
My guess is obviously Eric Kerplunk.
Repoz frightens me sometimes. No earth-based creature can know this stuff.
I think if it were Rod Beck, the name would be included in the story. The fact that the author attempts to protect the source of the story implies (to me, at least) that the source is still alive.
Also, I find it hard to believe that these were wash-cloth type towels; you can't flush one of those without stuffing a toilet. There's no way he would've been able to keep that up for awhile and then have it be a problem. That's the sort of thing that causes a swift surrender in plumbing almost immediately.
That could be a way of narrowing the field of candidates.
Let's see...
According to my research, of all the relief pitchers who have been teammates of Manny Ramirez in the majors, only four are now dead. (name all four!) That's more than I expected, but doesn't do much to narrow it down.
[edit: FOUR, not three]
Why don't they go back to the logo in the corner of this card?
Rod Beck, Josh Hancock, and Geremi Gonzalez?
Wow...my research was faulty, in that BB-Ref's list of players who died in 2008 doesn't include Geremi Gonzalez yet, and I didn't know he'd been on the Red Sox.
So there's actually been FOUR relief pitchers who were teammates of Manny Ramirez in the majors and are now dead.
Plus the two who were at spring training with him in 1993 but died before his major league debut.
This is getting even more disturbing.
Manny does have a deceased postion player teammate as well, but bb-ref won't help you with that one.
You mean Varitek?
Gonzalez, Beck, Hancock, and Cliff Young?
If so...well, he's not the guy I was thinking of either. This gets weirder and weirder.
We almost named one of our kerpunk bands "A Conigliarrow Through the Eye"...usual drum face probs, tho.
Manny's swathe of destruction keeps expanding its scope. Seriously, how likely is it for someone who's played 16 seasons in MLB to have played with (in spring training, at least) at least nine major leaguers who are dead already?
That thought crossed my mind as well. New game! How many former teammates of Manny Ramirez are currently incarcerated?
BB-ref doesn't have "Date of incarceration" indexed by year, so I'll have to sit this one out. But I know Scott Sauerbeck and Jose Mesa have both been arrested at least once. Also Julio Lugo...wasn't Carlos Baerga in legal trouble for a while?
EDIT: too slow
No idea if Kevin Wickander's out of prison yet, but he was in for a long time. Jesse Levis may or may not be facing time, depending on what kind of lawyers he gets.
At least two of Manny's '93-'94 Indians teammates got cancer: Jerry DiPoto and Matt Turner. Both are still alive, though, so maybe Manny only tangentially crossed their path.
Manny's aura didn't help Jon Lester any, either. Or Bryce Florie. Or Nelson De La Rosa.
I hope he doesn't piss on the laundry when it's dirty.
Indians' Ramirez Pleads Not Guilty
*
Published: August 29, 1997
Cleveland Indians outfielder MANNY RAMIREZ pleaded not guilty yesterday to numerous traffic charges, including driving without a license and having illegal license plates.
Although they are minor infractions, Ramirez could face heavy fines because of his previous record of driving with two Florida driver's licenses and having two Social Security numbers.
Ramirez was pulled over near Jacobs Field on Aug. 13, after a doubleheader with Detroit. He was cited for having no driver's license, illegal plates, tinted windows and a noisy car, said GEORGE YARBROUGH, a spokesman for the Cleveland Municipal Court.
As Ramirez was driving away, he made an illegal U-turn in front of officers and was pulled over and ticketed again, Yarbrough said.
Incarcerations, grievous illnesses and even death have befallen an unusually large number of his teammates.
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