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Thursday, October 11, 2007

TWTDB: For Special Accomplishment in the Field of Douchebaggery

What drives a man to his limits? Derek Jacques…and the seduction of Ronan Tynan.

You know, we Yankee fans can get to taking ourselves too seriously, so we’re fair game (more on this in a second, though). Rudy Giuliani is running for president as a New York Republican, which in this day and age, is like hanging a “kick me” sign on your back. He can take the heat. Michael Kay and Roger Clemens can also defend themselves. George Steinbrenner? Not so much so, anymore, but he’s got a mountain of money, and I’m sure he can have Howard Rubenstein write you a stinging press release as a rebuke.

It’s when you decide to disrespect Ronan Tynan that I get riled up.

...You see, the Cleveland Indians haven’t won in Scott Raab’s lifetime—and suddenly that seems like a grand idea. A fine tradition, one that should remain unbroken, at least for the remainder of his lifetime. Stay classy, Cleveland!

Repoz Posted: October 11, 2007 at 06:20 PM | 30 comment(s) | Login to Bookmark
Related News: General, Community, NY Yankees, Awards

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1. Sparkles Peterson Posted: October 11, 2007 at 06:46 PM (#2572037)

Courtesy of B-R:

1st inning: .280/.365/.435
2nd inning: .318/.383/.538
3rd inning: .278/.350/.454
4th inning: .306/.382/.502
5th inning: .249/.323/.393
6th inning: .338/.415/.529
7th inning: .290/.359/.445
8th inning: .289/.371/.464
9th inning: .258/.331/.416

So maybe the 7th inning horse & pony show doesn't actually confer a competitive advantage after all. But Yankees fans are still soulless bastards and Scott Raab is not eligible for any awards in the field of ############# as long as any of them exist.

2. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: October 11, 2007 at 06:49 PM (#2572039)

Apparently, Yankees fans don't have any sense of humor, either.

3. aleskel

Posted: October 11, 2007 at 06:53 PM (#2572047)

Since Tynan's a physician as well as a world-renowned singer ... Dr. Tynan was a paralympian (as a double amputee) whose world records from the 1980s still stand

whoa, is this true?

4. Jeff K. Posted: October 11, 2007 at 06:56 PM (#2572055)

According to wikipedia, it is. He voluntarily had both legs amputated at age 20 after a car accident caused complications.

It changes nothing.

5. The Polish Sausage Racer Posted: October 11, 2007 at 06:59 PM (#2572057)

############# or asshattery? You be the judge.

6. The Polish Sausage Racer Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:01 PM (#2572059)

Whoa, you can say \"#############\" in a title but not in a comment? Silly nanny.

7. Martin Hemner

Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:05 PM (#2572066)

It changes nothing

I agree. Raab is still a jackass for taking a cheap shot about his appearance. Maybe he should take on Stephen Hawking next.

8. zonk Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:06 PM (#2572068)

<title>#############</title>

edit: didn't think so...

how about deucebaggery

9. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:09 PM (#2572072)

I agree that "God Bless America" during the 7th inning stretch is stupid, but that shot at Ronan Tynan was uncalled-for.

10. Nasty Nate Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:12 PM (#2572074)

..raab himself..

11. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:13 PM (#2572076)

"Maybe he should take on Stephen Hawking next."

If the Yankees start having Stephen Hawking sing "God Bless America" during the seventh inning stretch, the line to complain starts behind me.

12. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:14 PM (#2572077)

Repoz gets a hat-tip, so he should get a share of whatever is awarded to the winner of the d-baggery prize.

13. Designated Sitter (GGC) Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:15 PM (#2572078)

Hawking is more of a "God Save The Queen" guy. I mean it, man!

14. Designated Sitter (GGC) Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:16 PM (#2572083)

Repoz gets a hat-tip, so he should get a share of whatever is awarded to the winner of the d-baggery prize.

Eh, he gets those Alda time.

15. zonk Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:19 PM (#2572084)

eh... potshots have a way of metastasizing beyond the original intent.

I mean, he took two back-handed shots at Tynan, but ummm... I think the two shots he took -- making light of a smaller than usual head and Tynan's singing -- were hardly the point of the post.

16. Roy Hobbs of WIFFLE Ball Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:20 PM (#2572086)

Cue Fat Bastard:

Jesus Christ, his head is TIIINY!

17. Swedish Chef Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:22 PM (#2572087)

If the Yankees start having Stephen Hawking sing "God Bless America" during the seventh inning stretch, the line to complain starts behind me.

I think that would be the greatest thing ever.

18. Vaux, A.B.D. Posted: October 11, 2007 at 07:40 PM (#2572095)

I don't care if Tynan had his legs and arms amputated. He's an accessory to the destruction of the American way of life.

But even he didn't murder people just for being poor. A fine bunch, these guys.

19. Shibal Posted: October 11, 2007 at 09:59 PM (#2572188)

I'll paraphrase the article so no one has to read it:

No one is allowed to criticize a singer if that singer is a double amputee.

20. Best Dressed Chicken in Town Posted: October 11, 2007 at 10:07 PM (#2572192)

Vaux, Vaux, Giuliani only murders the homeless. If you're simply poor, you just have tanks pointed at your homes. But they don't actually fire or anything.

21. Gambling Rent Czar Posted: October 11, 2007 at 10:18 PM (#2572197)

this must be the 50th Yankee article posted here in the last week.

I wonder what would of happened if they actually won.

22. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: October 11, 2007 at 11:13 PM (#2572215)

"No one is allowed to criticize a singer if that singer is a double amputee."

Too bad Max Cleland never cut an album.

23. Chris Hansen, NBC Dateline Posted: October 11, 2007 at 11:24 PM (#2572222)

You see, the Cleveland Indians haven’t won in Scott Raab’s lifetime--and suddenly that seems like a grand idea. A fine tradition, one that should remain unbroken, at least for the remainder of his lifetime. Stay classy, Cleveland!

I see, so he's cheering against the Indians because of one Esquire writer who may/may not be an Indians fan. I also noticed he brought in "the bugs did it" defense. Who exactly's supposed to stay classy here?

24. Roy Hobbs of WIFFLE Ball Posted: October 12, 2007 at 12:44 AM (#2572329)

"No one is allowed to criticize a singer if that singer is a double amputee."

Hey, Lieutenant Dan has a band!

25. Slinger Francisco Barrios (Dr. Memory) Posted: October 12, 2007 at 12:02 PM (#2572667)

Eh, he gets those Alda time.

Yeah, but it's hardly Ferrell.

26. PepTech Posted: October 12, 2007 at 04:40 PM (#2573001)

Eh, he gets those Alda time.

Yeah, but it's hardly Ferrell.

You Swit-talking bastards always beat us to the punch.

27. Slinger Francisco Barrios (Dr. Memory) Posted: October 12, 2007 at 05:23 PM (#2573060)

You Swit-talking bastards always beat us to the punch.

You're taking this just a little too Farr, PepTech.

28. Lassus: Posted: October 12, 2007 at 05:47 PM (#2573086)

Tynan is not a classical singer. I'm not sure what he is, but he's not a classical singer.

29. Fred Garvin is a sick f**k, guilty as charged Posted: October 12, 2007 at 05:49 PM (#2573091)

I don't mean to be insensitive, but it shouldn't matter whether Tynan is an amputee or not. Even if he is, I don't see why that means "he can't defend himself."

The question should be whether the Yankees should be allowed to pull these alleged shenanigans, and only secondarily whether Tynan is an adequate singer. The fact that he may be an amputee should have nothing to do with it.

30. bunyon Posted: October 12, 2007 at 06:08 PM (#2573108)

Eh, he gets those Alda time.

Yeah, but it's hardly Ferrell.

You Swit-talking bastards always beat us to the punch.

Get that Burghoff of me!

And Cleland's a triple-amp isn't he?

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TWTDB: For Special Accomplishment in the Field of Douchebaggery

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