You want to hear what a gamer Beltre is? He stayed in the game, took a throw at third on a pickoff play and blocked the bag, and got on in the 14th and scored the winning run. Since Jack Wilson had left the game with a hammie problem, they didn't really have another infielder, but I'd bet he would have stayed in anyway.

You wanna hear how dumb macho Beltre is? He doesn't wear a cup. But I love the guy.

Hot corner indeed.

#1 speaks for me in every way.

I can't even read about this story -- leaving aside the fact that it involves one of my favorite players -- without feeling nauseous.

A "Ball to the balls" thread?

Time to link this old classic again.

But seriously, a bleeding testicle? Wear a freaking cup, moron.

Beltre does not wear a protective cup because he says it’s uncomfortable.

I'm guessing he's more uncomfortable now.

Time to link this old classic again.

Is it sad that I'm really proud of my work in that thread?

Is it sad that I'm really proud of my work in that thread?

No sadder than my pride at being able to work the phrase "severe case of smashed dick" into BTF thread without going off-topic. That thread is chock full of awesome.

I once caught a liner to CF in a co-ed softball game with what turned out to be broken 4th and 5th metacarpals in my glove hand.

But I will respectfully yield my place in line to Mr. Beltre.

I didn't wear a cup, either, fwiw.

Can anybody here watch this without wincing?

Vlad,

Why do you keep a repository of links to guys getting hit in the balls?

WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER GO ON THAT SHOW??!?

OH GOD! THE VIDEO INDICATES THAT THERE'S AN ENTIRE SITE CALLED NUTSHOTS.NET!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

That's a fantastic video, Vlad. Here's something to express my thanks.

Is it sad that I'm really proud of my work in that thread?

well, so am i, so, yeah.

"Why do you keep a repository of links to guys getting hit in the balls?"

Everybody needs a hobby.

I take it Japan has adopted the movie "Idiocracy" as their new societal model?

I take it Japan has adopted the movie "Idiocracy" as their new societal model?

Horribly enough, that isn't even that bizarre for a Japanese show. I saw one a while ago which involved seeing how many times they could handle being stung IN THE MOUTH BY A SCORPION before tapping out. That same episode also featured a "Go through the car wash without a car" segment, and a "See how close you can stand to a pitching machine aimed at your head before it knocks you out cold" event.

I don't understand what passes for entertainment in Japan.

"OH GOD! THE VIDEO INDICATES THAT THERE'S AN ENTIRE SITE CALLED NUTSHOTS.NET!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!"

That link is apparently dead.

Fortunately, this one isn't.

HE GOT HIT...IN THE GROIN!

STOP THE CONTEST! Give that man the ten thousand dollars.

I don't understand what passes for entertainment in Japan.

"Once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other's mouths you can't exactly go back to Playboy..."

I know that's a quote from somewhere else, but there's no way I'm plugging that into Google to find the source.

To be fair, I think more Americans watch those shows than Japanese folks do. Most of the prime time game shows involve more wacky than horrible stuff happening and then cuts to reaction shots of B-list celebrities.

"I saw one a while ago which involved seeing how many times they could handle being stung IN THE MOUTH BY A SCORPION before tapping out."

Aw, that's nothin'.

I know that's a quote from somewhere else, but there's no way I'm plugging that into Google to find the source.

South Park

You think Beltre's tough? Nicklas Lidstrom played the entire Stanley ####### Cup Finals right after having, quote, 'testicular surgery'. Normally I'd say something like 'wow, that guy has balls', but...

Shock, Ryan, etc.,

It's not exactly a "game show." The guys are actually all comedians and the clip is from their weekly comedy show. Sometimes they do these kinds of crazy, masochistic "batsu" (punishment) games and their reactions are played for laughs; they're not competing to avoid punishment so much as to be the funniest (except for maybe this segment). It's all very slapsticky and almost completely improvised, sort of like... "Whose Line" meets "Jackass"? You don't even need to know what they're saying half the time. Funny stuff...

That video is also ~10 years old. Japan has a strange ability to embrace the comedians who specialize in doing humiliating, embarrassing, utterly silly things for the sake of entertainment. The two hosts of the show, a duo called Downtown, are immensely popular and respected and their show is still running strong.

Forthcoming Beltre bio: "2 Balls, No Cup"...

popular and respected

These two adjectives are not often together in the ol u s of a.

I never realized until just now that our handles in threads past are automatically changed to the most recent incarnation.

It can be a bit confusing, can't it?

On the subject of this thread, Adrian Beltre is a brave man with a tiny brain.

Beltre does not wear a protective cup because he says it’s uncomfortable.

Don't think that's the norm for 3rd basemen. Cal Ripken said he never took a ball off the cup in all the years he played SS but that it happened regularly when he played 3rd.

3rd basemen should wear one in the field, and probably at bat just to be safe. If "comfort" is a factor once reaching base, you could call time and hand it to the 1st base coach along with your elbow pad and shin guard.

Charlie Hayes also never wore a cup.

I remember when I was in Little League, it was a rule that everybody had to wear a cup, even the two or three girls who played baseball instead of softball.

If "comfort" is a factor once reaching base, you could call time and hand it to the 1st base coach along with your elbow pad and shin guard.

Didn't someone get nailed running the bases in the past couple years? I have a hazy memory of that happening, but I could be mistaken. Either way, it's smart to wear one no matter what.

I remember when I was in Little League, it was a rule that everybody had to wear a cup,

I my LL, only the catcher had to wear a cup.

Maybe that's what I remember, but if the girls played catcher, they had to wear a cup, too.

I always played catcher, so I just got used to it.

So Kaz Matsui had an anal fissure, Felix Pie had twisted testicles, and Adrian Beltre has severely bruised testicles...
Do they really need to make this information public, why don't the teams just lie and say they're out with flu-like symptoms?

Do they really need to make this information public, why don't the teams just lie and say they're out with flu-like symptoms?

Hockey always refers to things as an upper-body or lower-body injury. No additional information is typically forthcoming.

In cases like this, MLB could learn from the NHL. I'd much rather hear that Beltre is out with a lower body injury than that he's out with a bleeding nut.

why don't the teams just lie and say they're out with flu-like symptoms?

Isn't that the code for hangover?

Ow! My Balls!

i heard this guy's balls got hit real bad.

What's with the hysteria? Beltre's a third sacker.

Update from today's Seattle Times:

One of the hitters facing Silva was Adrian Beltre, who continues to improve. The fact that he was seen carrying Endy Chavez piggy-back is being interpreted as a good sign.

"I don't know how intelligent that is, but it shows he's feeling pretty good,'' [Mariners manager Don] Wakamatsu said.

He isn't sure if he'll wear a cup when he returns.

I think carrying Endy Chavez piggy-back is the universal sign for "my testicles are feeling much better, thanks".