BBTF's Sox Therapy Discussion :: Pap’s New Pitch Needs a New Name

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Pap’s New Pitch Needs a New Name

According to this Globe article, Jonathon Papelbon has invented a new pitch. It’s a combination of a slider and cutter, which he has predictably named “the slutter.” This is a near Wok-level affront to decency and goodness, so I think we really need to come up with a new name for it. I have come up with very little so far. The Cut slider? Clider? Gadzyouki?

Pap apparently threw one such pitch to Johnny Gomes in the game yesterday. He didn’t get a chance throw it tonight because every conceivable thing in the world went wrong and the Sox lost 2-1. What a horrible game to watch; so frustrating.

Darren Posted: August 22, 2007 at 11:23 PM | 29 comment(s)
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1. John S Posted: August 23, 2007 at 12:04 AM (#2496211)

the clitter... ok that's worse.

2. Lassus Posted: August 23, 2007 at 12:08 AM (#2496224)

I actually think a lot of female baseball fans would prefer yours, John.

Because then their boyfriends would possibly be inspired to actually find it.

Maybe.

OK, probably not.

3. Master of Karate and Friendship (Kyle C) Posted: August 23, 2007 at 12:36 AM (#2496273)

How do you miss the clitoris? It's not like it hides itself until you've completed three dangerous tasks.

4. Rafael Bellylard (p8p) Posted: August 23, 2007 at 12:44 AM (#2496288)

The three dangerous tasks that work best are dinner, dancing and a movie.

5. Jose Can Jussi Jokinen (Justin T) Posted: August 23, 2007 at 12:56 AM (#2496310)

Or you could go for one incredibly easy task and just spike her drink at dinner. Although I don't know if the clitoris will reveal itself if she doesn't know she's aroused.

6. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: August 23, 2007 at 02:09 AM (#2496336)

how about the "taint," as in, t'ain't one and t'ain't th'other.

7. IronChef Chris Wok Posted: August 23, 2007 at 02:09 AM (#2496337)

This is a near Wok-level affront to decency and goodness

Oh c'mon, nothing I ever say will be ever as indecent and sad as tonight's game.

how about the "taint," as in, t'ain't one and t'ain't th'other.

I'm OK with that.

8. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: August 23, 2007 at 02:13 AM (#2496339)

if it's a strikeout pitch, we could name it after wok: "the kok"

man, i could do this all day. (that's what she said!)

ok, i'll stop now. (that's what she said!)

9. IronChef Chris Wok Posted: August 23, 2007 at 04:56 AM (#2496357)

If you want to name a pitch after me, you call it "the slant" or something.

10. SumDum Posted: August 23, 2007 at 06:07 AM (#2496364)

Methinks the fact they printed "The Slutter" in The Globe article, and it is the combo of those two pitches probably won't damage too many children.Besides if Sox fans were held to a strict code of decency and goodness I probably wouldn't see as many "Jeter Blows, Giambi Swallows, and Matsui *******"T-shirts when I go to Fenway.And we all know once the BBTF creator Saint Reverend Jim F. sees this horrid word it shall be censored for the good of America's children,and their children.
Huzzah <_<

11. pv nasby Posted: August 23, 2007 at 07:57 AM (#2496370)

If you're gonna name one after Wok, wait a few years 'til he's lost a few inches off his fastball.

12. IronChef Chris Wok Posted: August 23, 2007 at 08:03 AM (#2496372)

The CVORT (comedic value over replacement thread) is through the roof right now.

Somebody get Brattain up in this joint.

13. seeking a clever screen name since 1999 Posted: August 23, 2007 at 08:07 AM (#2496373)

The article doesn't say anything about how this supposedly new pitch is thrown, and Papelbon had "at least one teammate rolling his eyes." If it's a cut fastball grip and a slider release, well, Andy Pettitte's been doing that his whole career. Papelbon has a refreshingly quirky sense of humor, not a patent on a new pitch.

14. Darren Posted: August 23, 2007 at 09:44 PM (#2497585)

This thread has gone far worse than I thought it would.

15. AlouGoodbye Posted: August 23, 2007 at 09:59 PM (#2497626)

Matt Morris also throws a slutter. And I've heard it described as such on several TV broadcasts.

16. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: August 23, 2007 at 10:05 PM (#2497649)

Call it "the Pap smear."

17. RB in NYC (Now with Jet Lag!) Posted: August 23, 2007 at 10:26 PM (#2497753)

This thread has gone far worse than I thought it would.

I find that hard to believe.

18. walt williams bobblehead Posted: August 23, 2007 at 10:47 PM (#2497820)

This thread has gone far worse than I thought it would.

It could have been worse. Someone could have suggested "the Papelboner".

19. Dan Szymborski Posted: August 23, 2007 at 10:51 PM (#2497827)

20. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: August 24, 2007 at 02:40 AM (#2497953)

the teabag? especially if it's all up in your face.

21. Elevate Phil Coorey Later Posted: August 24, 2007 at 03:17 AM (#2497958)

This thread has gone far worse than I thought it would.

Where did you think it would go?? The intro had me in stitches, and I am sure you didn't even mean to be funny.

22. konaforever Posted: August 24, 2007 at 10:34 PM (#2499059)

The slutter should be renamed "Paris Hilton". That's mostly clean, but has the same effect.

23. Jose Can Jussi Jokinen (Justin T) Posted: August 24, 2007 at 10:52 PM (#2499081)

I think "Pap smear" is by far the best alternative. If Jonathan Papelbon were a professional wrestler, his finishing move would absolutely be called the "Pap smear".

24. IronChef Chris Wok Posted: August 24, 2007 at 11:35 PM (#2499129)

I think "Pap smear" is by far the best alternative. If Jonathan Papelbon were a professional wrestler, his finishing move would absolutely be called the "Pap smear".

Um, I thought anything with Papelbon and that medical procedure had been long banned by Therapy. I of course had tried this about a billion years ago, which led to the banning.

25. AlouGoodbye Posted: August 24, 2007 at 11:43 PM (#2499140)

I think "Pap smear" is by far the best alternative. If Jonathan Papelbon were a professional wrestler, his finishing move would absolutely be called the "Pap smear".

No, it would be called the Papelbomb. You seriously overrate the creativity of wrestling writers.

26. Darren Posted: August 25, 2007 at 12:28 AM (#2499168)

Yes, Wok is correct--the medical stuff is no good. Glider. Collider. Spider. Something like that.

27. Dan Szymborski Posted: August 25, 2007 at 01:13 AM (#2499193)

No, it would be called the Papelbomb. You seriously overrate the creativity of wrestling writers.

Well, there's Rick Rude's "Rude Awakening" and Norman Smiley's "Norman Conquest."

28. tfbg9 Posted: August 25, 2007 at 11:28 AM (#2499307)

Who was the guy in the 70's who named his hybrid pitch "The Thang"? That could be brought back for Papelbon, and be suffciently G-rated.

29. Darren Posted: August 25, 2007 at 11:58 AM (#2499323)

How about he calls it "a pitch that's not really all that new, apparently?" Or he just sticks with the pitches that have allowed him to K 68 in 45 IP this year?

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Pap’s New Pitch Needs a New Name

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