Hi all -

The Replacement Level Players Association (RLPA) is currently entering its 20th season of play.  The league was founded by BTF members back in 2004, and includes such luminaries as Biff, Dr. Stankus, and Millhouse’s dad.

The league runs on OOTP 6.5 (at least for the time being).  It also runs on sarcasm, jokes about your mom, and man-love for computer generated players.  For a basic owner, the time commitment can be pretty minimal.  We have a guy on active duty in the Middle East right now, and he’s had no problem keeping up with things.  So I don’t want to hear any whining about how “the wife” (as if a simulated baseball player could get a girlfriend, let alone a wife) wanted to go to a play or the opera or the ####### yarn store, and so you couldn’t get your export in.  Unless she’s got a bomb strapped to her torso (or is she just happy to see you?), you will participate. 

(Also - no nanny on the message boards.  Freely let your blue streak fly.)

The point is, for the first time in a simulated decade (2 years’ real time), we have a managerial opening that we can’t fill by giving in to the withdrawal-addled pleas of former owners begging to be let back into the secret society. 

The available team: the ever popular, yet not very popular, Minnesota Twins.  The Twins have a long history of dominance in the AL Central, including 6 division titles in the last 15 years, fueled by a foul-mouthed owner who knew just what buttholes were for.  They fell on hard times last year when their most recent owner was forced out by a socialist upheaval.  Bread is cheap, now, but the workers are unhappy and the city’s infrastructure has fallen into disrepair.  Won’t you be the one to come in and force democracy upon them, followed by years of political unrest and assassination attempts?  (Recommendation - bring a “friend” along as a food taster/co-owner.)  Also, they need pitching.

If you have man-love in your heart that can only be filled by endless recountings of online poker hands, then the RLPA is for you.

RLPA: The Website
RLPA: The Almanac
RLPA: The Thong.  Yes, you’re required to wear it on sim days.  You’ll get used to it.

Any questions, e-mail me at optionj at gmail dot com.

(Edit: I’ve been told that we no longer endlessly recount online poker hands.  Replace that with “car salesman trying to sell you on the idea that American cars are better than imports” or maybe “Canadian trivia”.)

Who the eff is this Catuli guy?  Are you someone The Lounge might remember by a different name?

You sound like a Cards fan.

It’s very possible I was once UCCF, but he’s just a bitter racist.

This may be the first time I’ve ever been called a luminary.

Biff, Red Sox Jinx - 06 July 2008 06:49 PM

This may be the first time I’ve ever been called a luminary.

Don’t let it go to your head.

Also, treasure it, it might never happen again.

Eamus Catuli - 06 July 2008 06:27 PM

It’s very possible I was once UCCF, but he’s just a bitter racist.

You owe me money.

Bernal Diaz has an angel on his shoulder. - 06 July 2008 07:24 PM

Eamus Catuli - 06 July 2008 06:27 PM

It’s very possible I was once UCCF, but he’s just a bitter racist.

You owe me money.

For what?

Eamus Catuli - 06 July 2008 08:20 PM

Bernal Diaz has an angel on his shoulder. - 06 July 2008 07:24 PM

Eamus Catuli - 06 July 2008 06:27 PM

It’s very possible I was once UCCF, but he’s just a bitter racist.

You owe me money.

For what?

The cleaning bill for your chair.

I had OOTP6.5, but I lost the license when I formatted my computer.

What are you doing with my chair, anyway?

Craig K some obscure verb phrase - 07 July 2008 01:30 AM

I had OOTP6.5, but I lost the license when I formatted my computer.

You should be able to write to eLicense and get a new one, even if you hadn’t uninstalled.  I’ve done that once when my hard drive died, and at least a couple of other guys in the league had to do it for similar reasons.

Got the 6.5 license installed, now I need the 6 license. Is the position still open?

dammit.

It’s still open.