Hi all -
The Replacement Level Players Association (RLPA) is currently entering its 20th season of play. The league was founded by BTF members back in 2004, and includes such luminaries as Biff, Dr. Stankus, and Millhouse’s dad.
The league runs on OOTP 6.5 (at least for the time being). It also runs on sarcasm, jokes about your mom, and man-love for computer generated players. For a basic owner, the time commitment can be pretty minimal. We have a guy on active duty in the Middle East right now, and he’s had no problem keeping up with things. So I don’t want to hear any whining about how “the wife” (as if a simulated baseball player could get a girlfriend, let alone a wife) wanted to go to a play or the opera or the ####### yarn store, and so you couldn’t get your export in. Unless she’s got a bomb strapped to her torso (or is she just happy to see you?), you will participate.
(Also - no nanny on the message boards. Freely let your blue streak fly.)
The point is, for the first time in a simulated decade (2 years’ real time), we have a managerial opening that we can’t fill by giving in to the withdrawal-addled pleas of former owners begging to be let back into the secret society.
The available team: the ever popular, yet not very popular, Minnesota Twins. The Twins have a long history of dominance in the AL Central, including 6 division titles in the last 15 years, fueled by a foul-mouthed owner who knew just what buttholes were for. They fell on hard times last year when their most recent owner was forced out by a socialist upheaval. Bread is cheap, now, but the workers are unhappy and the city’s infrastructure has fallen into disrepair. Won’t you be the one to come in and force democracy upon them, followed by years of political unrest and assassination attempts? (Recommendation - bring a “friend” along as a food taster/co-owner.) Also, they need pitching.
If you have man-love in your heart that can only be filled by endless recountings of online poker hands, then the RLPA is for you.
Any questions, e-mail me at optionj at gmail dot com.
(Edit: I’ve been told that we no longer endlessly recount online poker hands. Replace that with “car salesman trying to sell you on the idea that American cars are better than imports” or maybe “Canadian trivia”.)