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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

RedSox (30-32) @ Marlins (32-30), Wednesday, June 13, 2012, 7:10pm

BOS:Felix Doubront (24, LHP, 6-3, 4.34)
MIA:Ricky Nolasco (29, RHP, 6-4, 4.36)

The Primer Chimp Posted: June 13, 2012 at 10:00 AM | 128 comment(s)
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   1. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:16 PM (#4156062)
Pedroia and Gonzalez add chasing pitches out of the strike zone to their continued suck.
   2. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:28 PM (#4156068)
First chance to see a game this series, not a fan of the camera angle.
   3. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:30 PM (#4156070)
Ortiz becomes the first Sox hitter not tempted by a Nolasco pitch three feet off the plate.
   4. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:30 PM (#4156071)
"an X-ray may be possible.". What the #### does that mean? Possible? Necessary? Christ she's not hot enough to spout such nonsense.
   5. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:32 PM (#4156073)
Do the Red Sox have a bad scouting report on Nolasco? They're approaching him like they expect every pitch to be in the zone.
   6. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:33 PM (#4156074)
Add Salty to the current suck brigade.
   7. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:34 PM (#4156076)
Be easier to list who isn't slumping.
   8. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:35 PM (#4156078)
Scott Podsednik and ....


   9. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:39 PM (#4156080)
Watching Doubront is such an eye opener compared to Lester. I never feel like I know what's coming from Doobs but Lester always seems predictable to me.
   10. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:40 PM (#4156081)
Birds don't have beaks, Don.
   11. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:41 PM (#4156083)
I was wondering about that, my problem is i don't know wht it is called instead.
   12. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:41 PM (#4156084)
Sheesh. I mean, fish don't have beaks.

His stupid is contagious.
   13. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:42 PM (#4156086)
It's a bill. Or a snout. Not a beak.
   14. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:45 PM (#4156087)
Thanks Chip and thanks Justin.
   15. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:48 PM (#4156089)
I am not stunned that these two can't use a cellphone map to navigate. Or rent a car with a nav system.

The problem with tools that should be useful to stupid people is when they're too stupid to realize they're available.
   16. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:49 PM (#4156090)
I've spent a lot of time in Miami. It is a truly mystifying place to get around.
   17. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:49 PM (#4156091)
Pedroia hit a line drive to the outfield! That's two this series!

Of course it's an out.
   18. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:52 PM (#4156094)
1st & 3rd, one out, and the Braves #8 hitter bunts.

Explain.
   19. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:54 PM (#4156095)
1st & 3rd, one out, and the Braves #8 hitter bunts.

Explain.


Due to a lineup shake up Brian McCann is hitting ninth?
   20. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:57 PM (#4156098)
Uh, no.

Tim Hudson's a decent hitting pitcher, but c'mon.

Needless to say, Hudson struck out and the rally fizzled.
   21. Joe Bivens, Minor Genius Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:59 PM (#4156099)
4...I picked up on that, too. She can't get a second year, can she?
   22. Joe Bivens, Minor Genius Posted: June 13, 2012 at 07:59 PM (#4156100)
Robbed!
   23. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:00 PM (#4156101)
Now Gonzalez finally makes good contact and of course it's an out.
   24. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:02 PM (#4156103)
Second time thru the Sox are hitting rockets.
   25. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:02 PM (#4156104)
Papi going oppo!
   26. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:02 PM (#4156105)
I thought Ortiz had missed his chance when he fouled off the hanging curve on 0-1. Glad to be proven wrong.

As always, we love Oppo Papi.
   27. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:02 PM (#4156106)
4...I picked up on that, too. She can't get a second year, can she?


Presumably the other people who auditioned were worse, that's troubling.
   28. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:04 PM (#4156108)
Weird - a guy in the stands is wearing an Ozzie Guillen Marlins jersey. I think that's the first time I've seen a fan wearing a manager's jersey.
   29. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:04 PM (#4156109)
Salty is the streakiest player we've had since Daubach left.
   30. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:05 PM (#4156111)
Birds don't have beaks, Don
Can you express that idea in terms of Dave Matthews lyrics? While giggling?
   31. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:06 PM (#4156112)
Even he made decent contact that time. They were all waiting more on Nolasco's junkballs this time through.
   32. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:07 PM (#4156113)
According to the Marlins announcers (who have consistently called the game and discussed baseball things without growing obviously bored), that was the first left field home run by a left-handed batter in Big Flashing Thing Park.
   33. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:09 PM (#4156114)
I bet the roof being open helped. They've played very few games this year in the open air.
   34. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:14 PM (#4156116)
Sweeney has really crashed back to earth, hasn't he?
   35. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:19 PM (#4156118)
Sweeney has really crashed back to earth, hasn't he?


Didn't want to stand out from the rest of the roster.
   36. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:24 PM (#4156122)
Doubront's looking...pretty good so far.
   37. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:27 PM (#4156123)
I have never seen anything like Podsednik's baserunning mitt. I'm shocked that's even legal.
   38. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:29 PM (#4156124)
Classic Pedey swing. Looking pretty good.
   39. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:29 PM (#4156125)
Two line drives from Pedroia! Two!
   40. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:31 PM (#4156126)
I'm impressed that Gonzalez didn't instinctively turn right at first base.
   41. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:31 PM (#4156127)
A crooked number in a single inning? What's that?
   42. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:31 PM (#4156128)
Situational hitting!
   43. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:34 PM (#4156132)
Sweeney has really crashed back to earth, hasn't he?


Reddick's still got a 135 wRC+!
   44. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:35 PM (#4156133)
Morning everyone, hope you are all well - been a while
   45. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:36 PM (#4156134)
Is it considered fair game for the other team's announcers to jinx what's happening right now? It seems like it should anger the baseball gods.
   46. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:37 PM (#4156135)
I'm impressed that Gonzalez didn't instinctively turn right at first base.


Brilliant
   47. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:37 PM (#4156136)
I have never seen anything like Podsednik's baserunning mitt. I'm shocked that's even legal.


Rajai Davis and Jemile Weeks wear similar contraptions. Probably others.
   48. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:39 PM (#4156137)
So much for that.
   49. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:39 PM (#4156138)
Ah well. Pretty impressive blast by Reyes.
   50. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:40 PM (#4156139)
Jesus - he had a no hitter going, I didn't even notice!
   51. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:40 PM (#4156140)
If you're going to give up your first hit, might as well make it a bomb.
   52. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:40 PM (#4156141)
Reddick's still got a 135 wRC+!
I've noticed a lack of updates recently...

An honest question: are you rooting for Josh Reddick? Because, while obviously I'd like him to be on the Red Sox, I can't get bothered by it every day. And so mostly, I'm just happy to see a guy I like succeeding.
   53. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:42 PM (#4156142)
Rajai Davis and Jemile Weeks wear similar contraptions. Probably others.


Seems like it would give you a tiny unfair advantage in basestealing by extending your reach, but whatever.
   54. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:43 PM (#4156145)
Doubront has done a very nice job throwing strikes tonight. With command like this, he's a legit playoff starter.
   55. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:44 PM (#4156146)
Control, really. The key thing tonight is just throwing those damn pitches in the zone.
   56. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:47 PM (#4156147)
Darnell's kid looks just like him.

And she's not just like Jenny, she's more talented.
   57. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:47 PM (#4156148)
The promo for McDonald's daughter was horrifying.
   58. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:48 PM (#4156149)
So Darnell McDonald has been on this team for 3 years just so they could use his kid to make a cute TV show? It all makes sense now.
   59. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:49 PM (#4156151)
An honest question: are you rooting for Josh Reddick? Because, while obviously I'd like him to be on the Red Sox, I can't get bothered by it every day. And so mostly, I'm just happy to see a guy I like succeeding.


Of course. He's one of my favorite players. Why wouldn't I be rooting for him?
   60. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:51 PM (#4156152)
Too many strikes! Don't just put the ball over the plate, kid!
   61. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:52 PM (#4156153)
Of course. He's one of my favorite players. Why wouldn't I be rooting for him?
I couldn't tell if the point of the updates was your anger or your happiness.
   62. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:53 PM (#4156155)
Both? Anger that they sold low on him, happiness for him that he's succeeding?
   63. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:54 PM (#4156157)
Yikes. So this is Doubront's last batter, I hope.
   64. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:54 PM (#4156158)
I'm a baseball fan before a Red Sox fan. The only thing that will prevent me from rooting for a player I like is if he's on the Yankees. And maybe the Angels.
   65. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:56 PM (#4156159)
Mets lit up David Price. Wow.
   66. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:57 PM (#4156160)
That's the second stupid baserunning play in two games by the Marlins.
   67. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:57 PM (#4156161)
Don't like Doobs against Sanxhez here
   68. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:57 PM (#4156162)
I'm a baseball fan before a Red Sox fan. The only thing that will prevent me from rooting for a player I like is if he's on the Yankees. And maybe the Angels.
Right. My question was because I didn't really see any joy in the updates, just bitterness. So I couldn't tell if you were happy about Reddick or not.
   69. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:58 PM (#4156163)
Well that'll work but I'd like some runs.
   70. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 08:58 PM (#4156164)
This is a much more serious conversation than the topic demands. I really was just asking.

Sometimes I write my thoughts out in English that is too formal for the quality of the thoughts I'm having.
   71. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:00 PM (#4156165)
Great outing by Doubront. That was really fun to watch, even if he trailed off a little at the end.
   72. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:01 PM (#4156166)
Sometimes I write my thoughts out in English that is too formal for the quality of the thoughts I'm having.


I usually have the opposite problem. My professors do not appreciate it.
   73. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:01 PM (#4156167)
No, I understand what you're getting at. There are fans who are so partisan as to root against players after their favorite team trades them away. And I certainly wouldn't want to give that impression.
   74. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:02 PM (#4156168)
Punto-power!
   75. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:02 PM (#4156169)
Don Orsillo only wishes he could distinguish the quality of his thoughts, let alone judge the formality of the language he uses to describe them.
   76. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:03 PM (#4156170)
Would a Punto HR in this ballpark been confirmation of the apocalypse? Because he missed by about three inches.
   77. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:06 PM (#4156171)
Honestly I've had way more fun watching and folloiwing the Nationals this year than anything to do with the Red Sox. I got on the bandwagon as soon as they called up Harper and haven't regretted it. I figure it's okay since they're in the NL and the Sox are an AL team.
   78. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:06 PM (#4156172)
I'm trying to find the numbers, but I believe the Red Sox lead the world in sacrifice bunt percentage - the rate of successful sac bunts to sac bunt attempts.

And they have Scotty Pods swing away. And it works. Nice.
   79. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:07 PM (#4156173)
The continued success of Scott Podsednik is another harbinger of The End.
   80. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:09 PM (#4156174)
I'm trying to find the numbers, but I believe the Red Sox lead the world in sacrifice bunt percentage - the rate of successful sac bunts to sac bunt attempts.


Yeah, I saw this the other day somewhere. They were at the time sometihng like 17-19. They lead the AL in sac hits but are like 3rd or 4th in attempts.
   81. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:10 PM (#4156176)
Excellent.
   82. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:11 PM (#4156177)
Pedro!
   83. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:12 PM (#4156178)
That makes up for the grab by Ramirez earlier.
   84. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:13 PM (#4156179)
It has been a while. This is when watching baseball is nice and fun.
   85. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:14 PM (#4156180)
This inning has been incredibly lucky for the Red Sox in terms of BABIP.
   86. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:16 PM (#4156182)
Two marks against the Nats based on my recent visit to their park (which is nice enough but with less personality than most of the new ones I've been to):

1) They have cheerleaders.

2) Their PA announcer thinks he's at an NBA arena. ("NOW BATTING! YOUR CENTERFIELDER!! MIKE LOMBARDOZZI!!!!!!!!!
   87. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:16 PM (#4156183)
The Sox need to replace Jenny Dell with the hot blonde from the Foxwoods commercial.
   88. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:17 PM (#4156184)
If they're going to replace her they should get a redhead.
   89. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:18 PM (#4156185)
If they're going to replace her they should get a redhead.


I can support this plan.
   90. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:23 PM (#4156186)
In other ex-Red Sox news, Brandon Moss hit 2 homers lastn ight, including a 450 foot bomb. He's doing decently since taking over the A's first base job.
   91. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:25 PM (#4156188)
Rays being 1 hit by RA Dickey. He's commanding the knuckleball in a superhuman way right now. It's unreal.
   92. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:25 PM (#4156189)
Not ex Red Sox but RA Dickey one hit, 11K thru seven.
   93. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:25 PM (#4156190)
More BABIP love!
   94. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:26 PM (#4156191)
Didn't know Moss was still on someone's radar. Good for him. I really thought he was going to have David Murphy's career.
   95. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:26 PM (#4156192)
Has anyone before ever tried to throw the knuckler as hard as Dickey does, and succeeded?
   96. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:27 PM (#4156193)
Nick Punto using the whole field.
   97. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:27 PM (#4156194)
Has anyone before ever tried to throw the knuckler as hard as Dickey does, and succeeded?


He's got almonst a 20 MPH spread on the velocities he throws it at. He'll top 80, then throw one in the low 60s.
   98. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:27 PM (#4156195)
Who had Punto in the two hits in an inning pool?
   99. Dan Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:29 PM (#4156197)
Whoa. They just replayed the Rays only hit. That could easily be a no-hitter with that play called an error.
   100. Chip Posted: June 13, 2012 at 09:30 PM (#4156198)
And Dickey just broke the Mets club record for consecutive scoreless innings. Watch out Orel Hershiser!
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