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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

RedSox (5-10) @ Twins (5-12), Tuesday, April 24, 2012, 8:10pm

BOS:Josh Beckett (32, RHP, 1-2, 5.03)
MIN:Nick Blackburn (30, RHP, 0-1, 5.56)

The Primer Chimp Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:00 AM | 119 comment(s)
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   1. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 01:26 PM (#4114764)
The Red Sox suck. Josh Beckett is a loser. Big Papi is toast. Pedroia is short and bald. Gonzalez is a big oaf. Youk is ugly. Aviles proves that this is a second division team. The outfield is all garbage. I can't even remember their names. Salty is the worst catcher in the history of baseball.

Let's win two.

   2. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 01:26 PM (#4114767)
I got my hate on today, fellas.
   3. Jay Seaver Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:18 PM (#4115195)
David Ortiz cares not for your shift.
   4. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:18 PM (#4115196)
It's working so far. Keep feeling the hatred.
   5. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:19 PM (#4115197)
Ortiz has really become an adept hitter going the other way. It's pretty impressive, actually.
   6. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:19 PM (#4115198)
Morning, Piehole

Papi is locked it right now
   7. Jay Seaver Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:19 PM (#4115199)
We're going to have to hate on Youkilis a lot for this not to be a double play. Fortunately, it's not that hard.
   8. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:24 PM (#4115206)
Now that's a cheap run
   9. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:25 PM (#4115207)
What an absolutely brilliant at bat by Bryd...
   10. Mattbert Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:27 PM (#4115208)
Delighted we gave up a non-terrible pitcher for this guy.
   11. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:39 PM (#4115219)
Let's give it all back! Get ahead of everyone and then walk 'em!

Morning Phil.
   12. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:42 PM (#4115223)
Can we ever ever put anyone away?

   13. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:43 PM (#4115225)
jesus christ
   14. Mattbert Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:44 PM (#4115226)
If Phil has any s**ts left over, Beckett is giving them to me.
   15. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:44 PM (#4115227)
Hey Darren, three walks in a row - seriously - this team is unwatchable when they are on the field
   16. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:45 PM (#4115228)
It's not like he's failed to throw strikes--they've just fouled them off like crazy. Geez. Not fun.
   17. Jay Seaver Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:45 PM (#4115229)
Well, at least Doumit looked thoroughly overmatched.
   18. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:45 PM (#4115230)
Ahead of all but one batter.
   19. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:45 PM (#4115231)
0-2, time to walk him.
   20. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:46 PM (#4115232)
Doumit's eyes freak me out.
   21. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:46 PM (#4115234)
Here we go - the great Danny Valencia - this will be fun
   22. L. M. Gumby Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:47 PM (#4115235)
Beckett's getting squeezed. Strike three to Mauer was called ball three. Two strikes to Morneau were called balls. At least according to Gameday.
   23. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:48 PM (#4115236)
Why's he ####### nibbling to guys who can't ####### hit - ####
   24. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:48 PM (#4115237)
shut up, beckett
   25. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:49 PM (#4115238)
I thought he had Mauer as well - but he's calling nothing slightly off the plate - time to adjust or is his pitch count at 100 already?
   26. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:53 PM (#4115240)
Man, Parmalee is not good out there.
   27. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:53 PM (#4115241)
Really Bobby? The guy has retired three of nine and you're bunting?
   28. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:53 PM (#4115242)
I don't think he got squeezed there. He got one bad call by my eye and a couple pitches that were really close but the right call was made. I can see why he's frustrated but it wasn't the ump's fault.
   29. Jay Seaver Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:54 PM (#4115243)
Not sure you really want to give Blackburn free outs, based on last inning.
   30. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:54 PM (#4115244)
How is that 1-1to Sweeney a strike?
   31. L. M. Gumby Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:54 PM (#4115245)
Was he bunting for a hit or was that the brilliant tactical mind of Bobby V. we've heard so much about? Dumbass.
   32. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:55 PM (#4115246)
Now that can't be a strike for Blackburn.
   33. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:55 PM (#4115247)
So glad we gave up the out.
   34. Jay Seaver Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:56 PM (#4115249)
Really, NESN, are you trying to make clubhouse tours a thing?
   35. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:57 PM (#4115250)
You know he didn't give himself up on that bunt. It's not that bad of a play.
   36. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 08:58 PM (#4115253)

Really, NESN, are you trying to make clubhouse tours a thing?


It's a chance to do their hilarious schtick. That is the entire point of the broadcast.
   37. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:04 PM (#4115256)
Glad we missed an out for a meaningless tour of a ####### room - seriously
   38. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:08 PM (#4115261)
Oh my.
   39. Jay Seaver Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:09 PM (#4115262)
I get the impression that Ortiz REALLY likes sticking it to the Twins, almost as much as Napoli and the Angels.
   40. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:09 PM (#4115263)
Wow
   41. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:09 PM (#4115264)
That ball went a very long way.
   42. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:10 PM (#4115265)
Poor karlmagnus, what's he going to do when the Sox re-up Ortiz at the end of the year?
   43. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:20 PM (#4115273)
I mind the stupid stuff less than most people but do we really need advance notice of it?
   44. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:21 PM (#4115274)
I remember when ZIPS projected Ortiz to hit 500 HRs and I thought, yeah, that's a bit high but okay. Then after he cratered, it seemed impossible. I'm back to yeah, a bit high. Is he going to get into the HOF somehow? What kind of contract does he get? This is nutty.
   45. Phil Coorey is a T-Shirt Salesman Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:22 PM (#4115275)
My god - that Ortiz homer was crushed
   46. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:24 PM (#4115278)
I think if he can get over 450 he has a fighting chance. He's got a narrative and I can see the Sox apparatus getting behind him like they did with Rice.
   47. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:24 PM (#4115279)
Do the Sox underside that 0-2 is an advantageous count?
   48. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:24 PM (#4115280)
Nice 0-2 pitch.
   49. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:25 PM (#4115282)
You mean batting average, Jose? Because I think if he gets above .450 this year, I'm putting him in the Hall.
   50. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:26 PM (#4115283)
Yay Byrd!
   51. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:29 PM (#4115286)
Prediction, Byrd will not hit .450 this year.
   52. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:29 PM (#4115287)
By "hit" do you mean OPS?
   53. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:30 PM (#4115289)
Darren brought his "A" game tonight.
   54. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:31 PM (#4115290)
Aviles and Ross are such bums.
   55. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:31 PM (#4115292)
I loved Scutaro but so far I'm greatly enjoying the Mike Aviles experience.
   56. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:32 PM (#4115294)
By "A" game, do you mean....

I guess someone behind home was taunting Aviles.
   57. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:33 PM (#4115296)

I loved Scutaro but so far I'm greatly enjoying the Mike Aviles experience.


You'll love it more if you take a peek at what Scut is doing in Colorado--blech.
   58. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:34 PM (#4115299)
Yeah, the guys we shipped out haven't done much (except Papelbon).
   59. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:45 PM (#4115307)
Matt Barnes tonight, 5-3-0-0-2-9
   60. Jay Seaver Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:47 PM (#4115310)
Pretty good five minutes for Marlon Byrd here. :)
   61. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:47 PM (#4115311)
Heidi is still better but Jenny's eyes are spectacular.
   62. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:49 PM (#4115314)
I'm back now. Damn kids need so much care and love. :)

The Sox blow goats. I hate Shoppach. He's a fat toad.
   63. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:50 PM (#4115315)
What's with Youk? Does he seem like he's got a back problem or something?
   64. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:51 PM (#4115317)
Matt Barnes tonight, 5-3-0-0-2-9


What are those numbers? IP, H, ER, R, BB, K?
   65. Tim Dawson Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:51 PM (#4115318)
When do they advance Barnes? From the stats, it seems pretty clear he doesn't belong in the SALly.
   66. plink Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:51 PM (#4115319)
I'm a Remy & Orsillo apologist, but Tom Kelly is a fabulous announcer. This has been great.
   67. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:52 PM (#4115321)
Pie hole, yes.
   68. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:52 PM (#4115322)
I'm a Remy & Orsillo apologist


You just gave me a rash.
   69. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:53 PM (#4115324)
When do they advance Barnes? From the stats, it seems pretty clear he doesn't belong in the SALly.


He's got to be working on something.
   70. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:53 PM (#4115325)
Can we hold this one?
   71. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:54 PM (#4115327)
69 - that's at Keith Law said about Barnes the other day. Seems like whatever he is working on is going alright.
   72. Biff, highly-regarded young guy Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:55 PM (#4115328)
Runs!
   73. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:58 PM (#4115330)
Can we hold this one?


I predict a 14-10 win by the Twins.
   74. Biff, highly-regarded young guy Posted: April 24, 2012 at 09:59 PM (#4115331)

I predict a 14-10 win by the Twins.


Ah, a conservative prediction.
   75. plink Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:00 PM (#4115333)
You just gave me a rash.


Success!
   76. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:02 PM (#4115338)
Look at Boston's lineup. Their numbers are sick. How are they this bad?

Bad play, Aviles. And Remy says it's a double? No way.
   77. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:02 PM (#4115339)
That's a catch Scutaro makes in his sleep.
   78. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:03 PM (#4115341)
Jed Lowrie though, he'd explode like the second Death Star on that play.
   79. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:04 PM (#4115343)
Beckett almost threw that away.
   80. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:04 PM (#4115344)
I know I'm and old coot, but how the heck is dropping a pop up while you're trotting away from the plate not an error? And then missing the ball?


Terrible job on the run down. Beckett needed to run him back further.
   81. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:04 PM (#4115346)
Joe Mauer is baseball Jesus.
   82. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:05 PM (#4115348)
Remy, that wasn't the pitch. The pitch was on the other side of the plate. I hate Remy.
   83. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:05 PM (#4115349)
I thought Jesus Montero was baseball Jesus.
   84. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:06 PM (#4115350)
I thought Jesus Montero was baseball Jesus.


This is all just trash talk. Wieters is baseball Jesus.
   85. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:07 PM (#4115351)
Byrd should not wear those roller skates in the OF.
   86. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:08 PM (#4115353)
Tweet and use the hashtag #justcallthegame along with #askremy
   87. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:09 PM (#4115356)
#askremy Hey Jerry, Can you just shut up and call the game? #justcallthegame #ShutUpRemy
   88. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:10 PM (#4115357)
Beckett throws like a girl.
   89. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:10 PM (#4115358)
Seriously, Youks is hurt or something.
   90. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:10 PM (#4115359)
#clubhousetourssuck
   91. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:12 PM (#4115360)
Who is that Acura ad supposed to appeal to? Jerks?
   92. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:14 PM (#4115362)
#askremy Hey Jerry, do you hate Ask Remy as much as I do? Can you and Don stop fooling around and just call the game? #justcallthegame
   93. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:14 PM (#4115363)
Who is that Acura ad supposed to appeal to? Jerks?


Ahhh, MLB.tv. No ads.
   94. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:16 PM (#4115365)
This Jeff Gray looks almost as good as the one from the Red Sox.

How is misjudging a flyball and then falling down while catching it a good play?
   95. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:18 PM (#4115367)
Oh and Jeter can go to heck.
   96. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:19 PM (#4115368)
FW Webb needs to advertise on baseball games to reach an audience of exclusively contractors? That seems like a bad idea.
   97. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:20 PM (#4115369)
What? I get all kinds of ads on MLB.tv.
   98. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:22 PM (#4115370)
What? I get all kinds of ads on MLB.tv.


I must be the only one. MCoA and someone else (Dan?) were saying they got ads too. I haven't gotten a single ad this year (including all of spring training).
   99. Darren Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:22 PM (#4115371)
That was a nasty pitch.
   100. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: April 24, 2012 at 10:22 PM (#4115372)
Nice framing job by Shoppach.
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