If you like goofy names, you love today's Birthday Team.

Birthday Team:
C: Pinch Thomas
1B: Wally Judnich
2B: Neal Finn
3B: Dave Brain
SS: Stu Clarke
LF: Johnny Dickshot
CF: Cliff Heathcote
RF: Bunk Congalton

SP: Atlee Hammaker
SP: Flint Rhem
SP: Scott Kazmir
SP: Dick Stigman
SP: Neil Allen
RP: Rob Dibble
RP: Tim Stoddard

Owners: Jean Yawkey, Walter Haas
Announcer: Jack Brickhouse
Beneficiary of Nepotism: Mike Glavine
Fun Name: Pop Rising

rosenthal says s.hairston to the cubs

As bad as Dickshot is for a name, he actually chose that to replace his even worse-sounding real last name - Dicksus.

Johnny Dickshot... that's awesome. And his nickname was "Ugly." Ol' Ugly Dickshot.

mlbtr:
Nyjer Morgan to Yokohama (1.6m)
Shaun Marcum to NYM (1 yr)

I just hope I never link to a story in which Ugly Dickshot ejaculates.

I just hope I never link to a story in which Ugly Dickshot ejaculates.

I'm sure it is 100% SFW, but there is really no amount of money that could make me click that link.

It's a Dugout from last week in which the linked article used "ejaculated" instead of the more common "exclaimed" in a story about Jake Beckley and Tommy Leach.

Wally Judnich was a pretty good player, although I thought that he was a center fielder. He probably missed his chance at a real career when he lost age 27 to 29 seasons to WWII.

As bad as Dickshot is for a name, he actually chose that to replace his even worse-sounding real last name - Dicksus.

He's also not the only left fielder to consider changing his name to that. The other Johnny Dickshot?

As bad as Dickshot is for a name, he actually chose that to replace his even worse-sounding real last name - Dicksus.

Johnny was a nickname. His given name was Bigsus.

Warren Zevon would have been 66 today. Enjoy every sandwich, y'all.

White Sox claim P Zach Stewart off waivers

Minor league deals:

Yanks sign 1B Dan Johnson
Marlins sign IF Matt Downs, P Kevin Slowey and P Mitch Talbot
Rays sign P Juan Carlos Oviedo (Leo Nunez), P Juan Sandoval, P Jamey Wright and OF Shelley Duncan
Brewers sign SS Bobby Crosby
Orioles sign P Mark Hendrickson

Birthday League Update:

January 5           80  57  .584 ----  
January 28          77  61  .558  3.5  
January 17          76  61  .555  4.0  
January 14          77  63  .550  4.5        
January 12          75  64  .540  6.0

News and Notes:
* January 11 has lost nine of ten. The skid comes immediately after a 12-2 start to August.
* January 6 has won seven in a row.
* Hank Greenberg (January 1) leads the league in SLG (.613), OBP (.431), and RC/27 (10.4). He's third in HR (26).
* Chili Davis (January 17) has fallen out of the batting average lead by a few thousandths of a point. Davis and Rip Radcliff (January 19) are both hitting .343. Elmer Flick (January 11) lurks close behind at .335.
* Mike Cameron (January 8) leads the league in runs scored (104) and triples (15).
* Ivan DeJesus (January 9) is well on his way to an utterly unepected 100 RBI season. He's second in the league with 95 ribbies. One would assume many of those RBI have come after his teammate Otis Nixon singled and stole second because...
* Nixon has 120 steals. Max Carey (January 11) is second with 114 swipes.
* Paul Ratliff (January 23) has 186 strikeouts.
* Two teams dominate the games pitched leaderboard: Odell Jones and Andrew Sisco (both January 13) have 79 appearances. Bill Sampen and Brian Falkenborg (January 18) are third and fourth with 78 and 76, respectively.
* Francisco Rodriguez (January 7) leads the league with 27 saves. Josh Spence (January 22) also has 27, and Donn Pall (January 11) has 26 saves.
* Dizzy Dean (January 16) leads the league in BB/9 (1.17), is second in K/9 (7.73), and leads in K/BB ratio (6.58). Schoolboy Rowe (January 11) is second in K/BB, all the way back at 3.84:1.

Stats, standings, leaderboards, and box scores here.

BAL sign Jurrjens, 1.5 w/ another 2.5 of incentives