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I've been in his shoes. My second born Samuel lived 14 hours 3 years ago. Died from complications of Noonans syndrome. Nothing prepares you for this you just need to grieve.
I was in a good mood until I saw this headline here. Wow, I cannot think of anything more agonizing for a family. My deepest condolences to the Nesheks.
Wow. Just saw this on Twitter. Crazy news. ####.
Neshek has always been one of the great guys (heck, he sent me a wedding present telling me how much he enjoyed reading my old-blog while he was a Twin)
It makes my heart feel better to know how many people cared about Gehrig and are thinking of us during this difficult time. -Stephanee Neshek, via Twitter
In early September, I met a colleague of mine who I had not seen for the summer. I knew his wife was supposed to give birth in July so I asked him how he liked to be a new father. It turns out the unborn baby-girl had died in the mother's womb when she was 38 weeks pregnant. They don't know why. The worst part is that she still had to deliver the baby. I felt awful. Not for asking (there's no way I could have known) but because the guy looked down right miserable. I really felt for him.
It turns out the unborn baby-girl had died in the mother's womb when she was 38 weeks pregnant. They don't know why. The worst part is that she still had to deliver the baby. I felt awful. Not for asking (there's no way I could have known) but because the guy looked down right miserable. I really felt for him.
Speaking of New Yorker pieces on this awful topic, Alexsandar Hemon's piece about his daughter's battle with cancer is just utterly lacerating.
My wife and I are mostly lucky, since we were able to overcome fertility issues thruogh in vitro and have three children to show for it. We did lose a twin to our son that had a heartbeat, but that was early on. We put in six embryos and got three children, so there are three of them that could be here but aren't.
Congrats, DPDR! The toughest days are the first days. The joy is worth it a million times over.
Second time round for IVF and absolutely no problems. Our second son Z was born last August, and everything was perfect. We ended up back in the ER 2 days after he came home, and that resulted in an ambulance trip and an extended stay in the NICU. First they told us to brace ourselves for him to die; then they said that he wouldn't die right away, but would linger unconscious for a few years before dieing. He proved them al wrong, though, and came home for the second time a year ago tomorrow. We're keeping a very close eye on him to see if any other issues arise, but right now he's a happy, healthy, curious little boy who is pretty much exactly where he should be for his age. He's also amazing, and the experience has made us truly appreciate what is important in life.
^ As to why we had a nine month old at the park, I've covered that in another thread and can revisit it some other time if people like, but that's off topic.
And that Washington Post article linked above on kids suffocating after being left in cars is just devastating, not least because of its assertion that the parents who do this (a few dozen a year) are indistinguishable from other parents, as loving and conscientious as anybody else.) One day they are harried and drive right to work instead of to day care, and the kid is sleeping, and they forget. In their mind they think they've dropped the child off.
Harvey's comments made me think of something I saw a few days ago. I was walking through the Mountain View Cemetery in Oakland CA and I noticed a grave for a baby that was born and died on the same day. The thing that struck me was that the child was born in the 1880s. I guess that surprised me.
We will eventually donate the embryos...but that's legally harder than one might think. Too many people out there like one of the graduate students working on our research project. He is (well, was) a smug Chuck Colson devotee, and more than once has spent a chunk of time pontificating about the immorality of IVF procedures. I'm still not entirely sure that I'm proud of myself for NOT having punched him out....
We had a miscarriage about...two weeks ago? three weeks ago?
Anyway, it was and still is ####### terrible and BBTF folks have been actually really great in helping me sort through it. I relayed to my wife a few stories I was told which helped her keep in perspective that this happens. I can't imagine how m uch worse it would've been to go through what the Nesheks did.
I travel about 1/3rd of the time for work and I will be forever grateful I was in the U.S. when we had the bad doctor visit, instead of her going by herself and me being in Phnom Penh or some other god forsaken place.
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