BBTF.org/m/oakland : A’s Neshek, wife mourn death of newborn son

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Jack O’Connell: Yanks’ bats silent against Athletics

(cutoffman.mlblogs.com)

posted 3 weeks ago by Repoz to bbwaa tin badge, oakland, yankees | 12 comment(s)

It’s one thing for Michael the Kay and Sen. Al Leiter to screw this up last night…but the BBWAA high muckety-muck? “Rookie shortstop Adam Rosales smoked a first-pitch fastball to left-center for his first career home run.”

Sabathia was taken deep on the first pitch of the game. Rookie shortstop Adam Rosales smoked a first-pitch fastball to left-center for his first career home run. Sabathis settled down nicely but needed major help from second baseman Robinson Cano to get out of a fifth-inning ...

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1. Robert in Manhattan Beach posted on October 04, 2012 at 06:01 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Um, wow. There are no words to describe how sad this is. What can you say. Gehrig is an odd first name. I've got nothing.

2. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) posted on October 04, 2012 at 06:02 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I believe Curt Schilling's son is also named Gehrig.

This is obviously, horrible, horrible news. Just awful.

3. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit posted on October 04, 2012 at 06:09 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

That's awful. This world can be a real ##### sometimes. Best wishes to the Nesheks.

4. NJ in NY posted on October 04, 2012 at 06:19 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Wow. Just saw this on Twitter. Crazy news. ####.

5. Russ posted on October 04, 2012 at 06:35 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Happened to the son of a colleague. Really horrible when something like this happens.

6. Cooper Nielson posted on October 04, 2012 at 06:49 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

So terrible. Pat Neshek is one of the all-around good guys, too.

7. Athletic Supporter gangnam style posted on October 04, 2012 at 07:05 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I'm going to hell but...

I guess an awkward delivery runs in the family.

(Seriously, this is a tragedy, condolences to the Nesheks.)

8. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

posted on October 04, 2012 at 07:17 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I've got nothing.

Me, too. I always feel like anything I can say about something like this will be trite and meaningless. I have no words. I wish I was the praying kind sometimes.

9. DKDC posted on October 04, 2012 at 07:49 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

My condolences to the Nesheks, I truly can't imagine what they are going through.

#7 is not funny.

10. Double-Spin Mechanic posted on October 04, 2012 at 08:22 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Should have been the best week of his life. Beyond words...

11. spycake posted on October 04, 2012 at 08:28 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I was just wondering yesterday, were the games this week important enough for him to stay?

I don't think I'll ever again question a ballplayer's decision to leave for the birth of a child. In fact, I will probably question it if they DON'T leave.

12. BDC

posted on October 04, 2012 at 08:31 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

How sad – the Ranger announcers mentioned yesterday that Neshek wasn't available because his son had just been born, which was such a nice note, and then to wake up and read this. My condolences.

13. joeysdadjoe posted on October 04, 2012 at 08:56 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I've been in his shoes. My second born Samuel lived 14 hours 3 years ago. Died from complications of Noonans syndrome. Nothing prepares you for this you just need to grieve.

I don't think I'll ever again question a ballplayer's decision to leave for the birth of a child. In fact, I will probably question it if they DON'T leave.

Yeah pretty much what he said.

14. GregD posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:05 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I've been in his shoes. My second born Samuel lived 14 hours 3 years ago. Died from complications of Noonans syndrome. Nothing prepares you for this you just need to grieve.

Jesus Christ, joeysdadjoe, that is terrible. I am so sorry. I can't conceive of that.

15. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:08 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I read somewhere that Ibanez' wife is scheduled to have a C-section on Monday, which would be Game 2 for the Yankees, and they were talking about whether or not he'd be there for the game. Hopefully, they will have bump the procedure back a day (assuming there's medical issues there) or he'll leave the team. Baseball is one thing, that's real stuff.

16. dr. scott posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:17 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I've been in a similar situation, but it happened before the birth so comparisons are real tough. It's a horrible dreadful experience, but at least in our case, one where time was a much more effective healer than other tragedies I've experienced. Not sure if that is true when it happens after the birth. condolences to the family.

17. dr. scott posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:19 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I think if I were the coach I'd tell the player if he was not there for the birth I'd bench him anyway. Makes their decision easier.

18. President of the David Eckstein Fan Club posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:20 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

This was so sad and terrible to read. I can only express my condolences, limited as that is (and also to you joysdadjoe and dr. scott).

19. Harveys Wallbangers

posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:28 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

godspeed to the nesheks.

one thing that i think has changed for the better in the world at large is that when my wife and i lost a baby girl back in 1962 there were words of condolence but mostly we were left alone. i was still at the canning company and other than a few 'so sorry' it was back to work. and my wife had the 3 kids at home and nobody was visiting save my mother who had lost children of her own and while empathetic was clearly of a mindset that these things happened and no need to dwell because it doesn't change anything. i do understand and agree that there is no value in wallowing. but my wife never really had a chance to grieve. it haunts her still as on the birthday her mood is different and i know every so often she goes to visit the gravesite.

i am a heartless b8stard. i only think of it because my wife does. don't know what to tell anyone about that.

i think that things are more communal now is a change for the better.

20. GregD posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:31 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

My condolences to all, HW, and dr scott. I was amazed, even in this more-open era, when we had our (much less heartbreaking) early miscarriage to find out that almost every woman of childbearing years that we knew had had one or had a sister who had one. There is a lot of grief in this world. But obviously nothing like the grief of losing a living child. Can't imagine it.

21. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn)

posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:56 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Just awful. Can't imagine the pain of something like this.

22. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn)

posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:58 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

We've had multiple miscarriages, and my wife took the first one very hard. However, those can't compare to losing a child after the birth. Again, I simply can't imagine.

23. SteveM. posted on October 04, 2012 at 09:59 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

As a father, I can't imagine anything worse. My heart goes out to the Neshek family and those here who have gone through it. It makes me want to go home and hug my kids right now.

24. dr. scott posted on October 04, 2012 at 10:11 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

And as others have pointed out, as hard as this is on Neshek, things are so much tougher for his wife, and will be for much longer. Hope this at least makes them stronger and a better couple. It was an unexpected benefit for us.

25. winnipegwhip posted on October 04, 2012 at 10:22 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I was in a good mood until I saw this headline here. Wow, I cannot think of anything more agonizing for a family. My deepest condolences to the Nesheks.

SteveM what you said at #23 is how I feel. My kids are going to get a loving hug tonight. I would be lost without them.

26. Ivan Grushenko of Hong Kong posted on October 04, 2012 at 10:31 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

How horrible.

27. Craig in MN posted on October 04, 2012 at 10:49 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I was in a good mood until I saw this headline here. Wow, I cannot think of anything more agonizing for a family. My deepest condolences to the Nesheks.

I was in a bad mood (because of a crappy debate performance) until I saw this headline. It helped me realize I should remember about more important things.

We had an early miscarriage too. The worst day of my life (and worst time thereafter). I can't imagine holding my child after he was born, feeding them, thinking things were fine, and then have them just gone. That shouldn't happen to people. Neshek was always one of my favorites, and he moved up on the list today. Shared condolences to him and all who've been through something similar.

28. WillYoung posted on October 04, 2012 at 10:55 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Ugh, that's just awful. Neshek has always been one of the great guys (heck, he sent me a wedding present telling me how much he enjoyed reading my old-blog while he was a Twin) and I can't even imagine the pain, confusion and terror. One of my really good friends has a one-month old who just permanently lost eyesight in her right-eye due to a rare infection. Being close to that situation has shown me how heart-wrenching a child's pain can be, actually losing the child is just not even fair.

29. gef the talking mongoose posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:03 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Lord god. This happened with a co-worker & friend's firstborn back about 25 years ago -- during delivery, yet. One minute the heartbeat was fine, the next it was gone.

Damnnation.

30. hokieneer posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:10 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I had no idea Neshek was back in the bigs until a few weeks ago when I caught an A's game on TV and saw him on the bump. I knew he missed a year+ with a serious arm injury. I remember when he first tried to come back he was seriously ineffective (or got hurt again I don't remember exactly). Pat's a very memorable and easy guy to root for, with his humor, hardcore card / auto collecting, and his mechanics. I was extremely excited to see him pitch in meaningful games and to see he's been effective down the stretch.

And now this? Couldn't imagine what Pat and his wife are going through.

31. puck posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:13 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Wow. Just saw this on Twitter. Crazy news. ####.

The twitter feed is heartbreaking since there was a birth announcement, then this so suddenly happened.

32. Tim Wallach was my Hero posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:19 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I'm a father and my wife is 30 weeks pregnant of our second, so I'm deeply touched by stories like this one. I don't want to imagine the grief they have to go through at the moment. My condolences to the Nesheks.

In early September, I met a colleague of mine who I had not seen for the summer. I knew his wife was supposed to give birth in July so I asked him how he liked to be a new father. It turns out the unborn baby-girl had died in the mother's womb when she was 38 weeks pregnant. They don't know why. The worst part is that she still had to deliver the baby. I felt awful. Not for asking (there's no way I could have known) but because the guy looked down right miserable. I really felt for him.

Since then, every time baby is awoke, I stop whatever I'm doing to look at him move and touch my wife's belly to get a feel of him moving. You never know what can happen. Now, I feel even more insecure.

33. Jarrod HypnerotomachiaPoliphili(Teddy F. Ballgame) posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:30 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Horrible. Condolences to the Nesheks and to everyone here who's been similarly devastated. News like this makes me feel vulnerable like nothing else.

I thought #7 was funny, actually. Wildly inappropriate and beyond the bounds as far as I'm concerned, but funny.

34. Moloka'i Three-Finger Brown (Declino DeShields) posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:39 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Neshek has always been one of the great guys (heck, he sent me a wedding present telling me how much he enjoyed reading my old-blog while he was a Twin)

Wow, now that is called going the extra mile.

I can't express how horrible news like this is. My wife and I have a 10.5 month old, and stories like this fill me with a combination of horror, fear, and humble gratitude that our son is healthy.

35. RMc and His Roster of Rubbish posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:44 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

Gehrig has been taken from us. Again.

Dammit.

36. Roger McDowell spit on me! posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:50 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

I saw this last night on twitter - I was just shocked after all the exhilaration of the day. My condolences to the Neshek family and everyone who has gone through similar events. I feel so lucky on days like this to have a healthy daughter.

37. Random Transaction Generator posted on October 04, 2012 at 11:57 AM # hit 0 | hit 0

My wife and I have had two very early miscarriages so far, and I've been rather unmoved by them because they happened so early. Essentially, they were "We're pregnant!" and then 7 days later "Nope. Didn't take."
To my wife, they are devastating (as it's her body and society/genetic pressure on her to have a child)
We're now pregnant again, and it's been a few weeks and the numbers all look good and this is the furthest along we've gotten so we've got a good feeling (cross our fingers).
If something were to happen now...I can't imagine how bad it would feel for her, and I think it would hit me now as well.

Losing a child immediately after giving birth?

I can't begin to fathom how terrible that would feel.

38. cercopithecus aethiops posted on October 04, 2012 at 12:19 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

My mom had a stillbirth at term. It's been almost 60 years, but any time the subject comes up it's painfully clear that she's never gotten over it. Even though she never held my older sister as a living, breathing child. This is so much more unimaginable. For some things, there really are no words.

39. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) posted on October 04, 2012 at 01:11 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

It makes my heart feel better to know how many people cared about Gehrig and are thinking of us during this difficult time. -Stephanee Neshek, via Twitter

FYI.

Remarkably gracious under the circumstances, I think.

40. Lassus posted on October 04, 2012 at 01:24 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

I guess this is the "share birth horribleness" thread. My brother lost his first and likely only child to chromosonal difficulties after three weeks, all in the ICU. Absolutely ####### terrible.

The hopefully-but-too-soon-for-comfort for the Nesheks is that with youth likely comes opportunity.

41. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) posted on October 04, 2012 at 01:33 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

When my mom was pregnant with me, I was turned around the wrong way, so every time the doctors or nurses came in to the hospital room to check on the fetal heartbeat, they'd go to listen in the wrong place, hear nothing, and have the same quietly-freaking-out-but-mustn't-panic-the-pregnant-woman reaction. My mom would try to explain, but they were always too busy freaking out to pay attention to what she was saying. It drove her nuts.

Eventually, my dad bought a marker, drew a big "X" in the appropriate place on her stomach, and wrote LISTEN HERE next to it. That did the trick.

42. chemdoc posted on October 04, 2012 at 01:35 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

I hope the Neshek family gets all the support they need as they grieve. It's going to be tough.

43. GregD posted on October 04, 2012 at 01:51 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

In early September, I met a colleague of mine who I had not seen for the summer. I knew his wife was supposed to give birth in July so I asked him how he liked to be a new father. It turns out the unborn baby-girl had died in the mother's womb when she was 38 weeks pregnant. They don't know why. The worst part is that she still had to deliver the baby. I felt awful. Not for asking (there's no way I could have known) but because the guy looked down right miserable. I really felt for him.

This New Yorker article by Daniel Raeburn about his daughter Irene, who died on Dec 24 while in utero and then was delivered four days later, is very very moving.

44. Kyle S at work posted on October 04, 2012 at 02:08 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

It turns out the unborn baby-girl had died in the mother's womb when she was 38 weeks pregnant. They don't know why. The worst part is that she still had to deliver the baby. I felt awful. Not for asking (there's no way I could have known) but because the guy looked down right miserable. I really felt for him.

This happened to us at 28 weeks. My wife was pregnant with twins. One made it and is now a happy, beautiful 7 year old. The other died in utero of twin-twin transfusion syndrome. My wife has still not gotten over it and never will.

Eventually we told our daughter about her sister; it's quite touching how mature (not the right word - it's hard to understand, much less convey, how a 7 year old thinks and feels) she's been about understanding what happened yet still feeling sad that she doesn't have a twin sister.

My thoughts and prayers are with the Nesheks.

45. Gaelan posted on October 04, 2012 at 02:17 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

These stories are awful. My son is five years old and I still check on him every night to make sure that he's breathing. Life is capricious.

46. Mom makes botox doctors furious posted on October 04, 2012 at 02:30 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

Sigh..

They are young.. No choice but to bounce back ..

But I all too well understand. Sometimes time can only numb the pain, not heal

47. The Chronicles of Reddick posted on October 04, 2012 at 02:31 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

This is horrible news. I remember when my girlfriend was just starting her 9th month into a difficult pregnancy when we lost the baby. i still wonder how different life would have been had the baby been born so I can't imagine how it must feel for Pat and his wife. My condolences to them

48. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn)

posted on October 04, 2012 at 02:42 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

We have friends whose nine-year-old son -- a truly amazing, brilliant boy -- drowned while swimming with his father (rip current in Lake Michigan). The father gave his eulogy and is one of the most composed, resilient and amazing persons I've ever met. The mother, though, is the walking dead and probably always will be. It's heart-breaking to see what his already heart-breaking death has done to her. Losing my four-year-old son trumps every other fear I have put together.

Speaking of New Yorker pieces on this awful topic, Alexsandar Hemon's piece about his daughter's battle with cancer is just utterly lacerating.

Jesus, what a thread. My sincere condolences to everyone here who's dealt with anything like this.

49. Los Angeles El Hombre of Anaheim

posted on October 04, 2012 at 02:49 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

I can't even imagine how my wife and I would feel if we lost our little girl. My heart goes out to them.

50. Der_K posted on October 04, 2012 at 03:26 PM # hit 0 | hit 0

I've talked here before the time a foul ball hit my son, then nine months old^. He lived and is fine^^, but neither of those things was a certainty at the time. My wife was never the same after that, and neither was our relationship (we were "a model couple" - we're now separated and the prognosis for our relationship ain't great).

As stressful and crappy as that was and is ... well, I don't know what to say to the Nesheks - I still have my kid. They're in my thoughts and I wish them the best.

^ As to why we had a nine month old at the park, I've covered that in another thread and can revisit it some other time if people like, but that's off topic.
^^ Mind you, he has issues that his sister doesn't - it's hard to completely shake the possibility that those things could be related.

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Saturday, May 04, 2013

Jack O’Connell: Yanks’ bats silent against Athletics

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