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    • Thursday, January 19, 2012

    SBNation: Bois: The Bob Famine

    (www.sbnation.com)
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    posted on January 19, 2012 at 04:22 AM by Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines to angels, baseball geeks, online  |  85 comment(s)

    In baseball, the name “Bob” has gone from extremely common to a marginal curiosity and nexus of confusion.

    There was one active MLB Bob last year, Bobby Abreu, whose given name is “Bob” but goes by “Bobby”. In 2010 there were two - Abreu, and Bob Howry, whose given name is “Bobby” but goes by “Bob”. In 2009 we also had Bob McCrory.

    In the future, will “Bob” be as unheard-of for baseball players as “Dick”? Can Bob Stumpo restore glory to this appellation?

    Reader Comments and Retorts

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    Page 1 of 2 pages  1 2 > 
    1. bobm posted on January 19, 2012 at 08:09 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Finally, this crisis is receiving the media coverage it so richly deserves!
    2. Infinite Joost (Voxter)  posted on January 19, 2012 at 08:18 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I never knew Abreu's first name wasn't Roberto.
    3. Neutral Milk Dotel (Dan Lee) posted on January 19, 2012 at 08:29 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    If you don't count Bobbys, which the author insists don't count, the last first-round Bob was Horner. In the past ten years, teams have used first round picks on guys named Gerrit, Sonny, Keenyn, Kolten, Jameson, Bryce, Barret, Deck, Kaleb, Kolbrin, Kellin, Asher, Chance, Slade, Tanner, Shooter, Colton, Preston, Kasey, Joba, Colby, Prince, Khalil, Cole, and Royce.

    But no Bobs.
    4. Leroy Kincaid posted on January 19, 2012 at 08:30 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Have there been any Neil & Bob batteries? Neil Allen and Bob Geren?
    5. Neutral Milk Dotel (Dan Lee) posted on January 19, 2012 at 08:38 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Have there been any Neil & Bob batteries? Neil Allen and Bob Geren?

    Looks like Allen/Geren happened twice. They just missed a third time.
    6. Flynn posted on January 19, 2012 at 08:42 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    If you don't count Bobbys, which the author insists don't count, the last first-round Bob was Horner. In the past ten years, teams have used first round picks on guys named Gerrit, Sonny, Keenyn, Kolten, Jameson, Bryce, Barret, Deck, Kaleb, Kolbrin, Kellin, Asher, Chance, Slade, Tanner, Shooter, Colton, Preston, Kasey, Joba, Colby, Prince, Khalil, Cole, and Royce.

    But no Bobs.


    Suburban America is out of control.

    Except for Sonny, that one can stay.
    7. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) posted on January 19, 2012 at 09:31 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I thought Sonny was a nickname, but his full name is in fact Sonny Douglas Gray.
    8. just plain joe posted on January 19, 2012 at 09:48 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I thought Sonny was a nickname, but his full name is in fact Sonny Douglas Gray.


    Georgia, Alabama or Mississippi?
    9. Rants Mulliniks (formerly Cold Prosimian) posted on January 19, 2012 at 09:59 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    At least all of those made up names were spelled phonetically correct, which is more than you can say for Dwyane Wade or Laveranues Coles.
    10. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) posted on January 19, 2012 at 10:13 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    At least all of those made up names were spelled phonetically correct, which is more than you can say for Dwyane Wade or Laveranues Coles.

    Brett Favre says hi
    11. BK Arbour posted on January 19, 2012 at 10:31 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Georgia, Alabama or Mississippi?


    Tennessee apparently. From Smyrna, which looks to be an exurb of Nashville. Your instincts were definitely in the right place.
    12. Tim Wallach was my Hero posted on January 19, 2012 at 10:51 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    When I was a kid in French Canada, we would call ourselves "Bob" everytime we would pretend to be a sport superstar. I wonder what name (or names) kids use today.

    Also, the first sentense of Bois little biography at the bottom is hilarious.
    13. BDC  posted on January 19, 2012 at 11:02 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Hey, I'm doing my part.
    14. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines posted on January 19, 2012 at 11:49 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Have there been any Neil & Bob batteries? Neil Allen and Bob Geren?

    Also Neal Heaton and Bob Melvin.
    15. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 12:26 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    A first cousin's son (which makes the kid my ... second cousin? first cousin once removed? third uncle? I've awful at these things) who presumably will pitch for Ole Miss (he was hurt last year & so red-shirted) is named Tanner. The horror. (The greater horror, of course, is that he's 6'7", pretty much the same as his dad, who played hoops for Centenary. If I were 6'7", as opposed to about 8 inches shorter than that, my weight would be ... well, still too damned much, but a lot closer to reasonable.)

    Better that than my dad's given name, though. He hated "Billy Clyde" & always went by Bill or B.C. Can't blame him at all.

    (The first cousin's wife -- not the pitcher's mother; they're divorced -- was previously widowed when her husband died on the plane that crashed in Pa. on 9/11. Interesting family.)
    16. Rants Mulliniks (formerly Cold Prosimian) posted on January 19, 2012 at 12:44 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Brett Favre says hi


    That name was not made up - I can't help it if he doesn't know how to pronounce it.
    17. YR Misses Reggie Bars posted on January 19, 2012 at 12:45 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    A first cousin's son (which makes the kid my ... second cousin? first cousin once removed? third uncle? I've awful at these things) who presumably will pitch for Ole Miss (he was hurt last year & so red-shirted) is named Tanner.


    Poor kids, they can't pick their own names. I bet the poor lad hasn't crafted a batch of leather in his life.

    Still, he's going to Ole Miss, where the daily views of the magnificent campus and the prettiest girls you'll ever see will take the sting out of his lack of tanning skills.
    18. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 01:24 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Ole Miss, where the daily views of the magnificent campus and the prettiest girls you'll ever see


    So I'm assured by a co-worker. (Never been to Oxford myself ... though offhand I can't remember having too many complaints in that department while I was at Arizona State some 30 years ago, either.)
    19. Coot Veal and Cot Deal make $486 every day posted on January 19, 2012 at 01:30 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Zack/Zach has gotta be the current most inexplicably popular name...

    players active in 2011 with MLB experience- Zach Braddock, Zach Britton, Zack Cozart, Zach Duke, Zack Greinke, Zach Jackson, Zach Kroenke, Zach McAllister, Zach Miner, Zach Phillips, Zach Putnam, Zack Segovia, and Zach Stewart.

    recently retired players with MLB experience- Zach Day, Zach McClellan, and Zach Sorensen.

    active minor leaguers- Zach Aakhus, Zach Baldwin, Zach Booker, Zach Butler, Zack Breault, Zach Cates, Zach Clark, Zac Cline, Zach Collier, Zachary Cone, Zack Cox, Zach Daeges, Zack Dodson, Zach Fowler, Zach Gentile, Zach Getsee, Zach Hammes, Zach Jadofsky, Zach Kapstein, Zach Kometani, Zach Larson, Zach Lee, Zach Lutz, Zachary MacPhee, Zach Mandelblatt, Zach Maxfield, Zach Neal, Zach Osborne, Zack Pace, Zack Parker, Zach Penprase, Zach Petersime, Zach Robertson, Zach Rosscup, Zach Rossetti, Zach Russell, Zach Samuels, Zach Simons, Zack Stanton, Zack Sterner, Zach Thornton, Zack Von Rosenberg, Zach Walters, Zach Ward, Zach Welch, Zack Wheeler, Zach Woods, Zach Zaneski, and Zach Zuercher.

    bb-ref search results
    20. Bob Tufts posted on January 19, 2012 at 01:41 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Never dremaed that my given name would somehow become exotic in baseball.

    At least we have Gibson, Feller, Lemon, Doerr, Clemente and Alomar (I will count Roberto) in the HOF to remember our heritage.
    21. Kurt posted on January 19, 2012 at 01:50 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Oh, it's...you Bob.
    22. SteveM. posted on January 19, 2012 at 01:56 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0


    Still, he's going to Ole Miss, where the daily views of the magnificent campus and the prettiest girls you'll ever see will take the sting out of his lack of tanning skills.


    I will second this. I went to Alabama for graduate school, and my favorite football road trip was to Oxford to see all the prettiest co-eds. After teaching at another college in Mississippi, I believe Ole Miss has a monopoly on them in-state.
    23. vortex of dissipation posted on January 19, 2012 at 01:57 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    My given name is Robert. All during high school and college, I was called Bob, and I didn't really care for it. When I graduated college, I told my friends that I wished to be called Robert from now on, and introduced myself as Robert to everyone new from then on. But people who knew as me as Bob from back then sometimes still call me that, and it's a bit jarring...
    24. BourbonSamurai, vassal of the Harpsburg Empire posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:03 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Never dremaed that my given name would somehow become exotic in baseball.


    Someone book Bob on ESPN to complain about this disgrace to the game. You can be the face of the Bob Issue, Bob!
    25. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:06 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I'm the opposite from vortex. I grew up, & am still known, as "Daniel Paul" back home (all young Southern males are required to go by their first & middle names, of course) & "Daniel" to my cousins. I've been "Dan" ever since the day I set foot in college.

    (Well, except for "gef," of course, here & at a few other sites.)
    26. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:08 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    "Zach's Yer Uncle!" just sounds wrong.
    27. Bob Tufts posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:09 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Someone book Bob on ESPN to complain about this disgrace to the game. You can be the face of the Bob Issue, Bob!


    Should I compare the dearth of Bobs to the missile gap or the facetious mine gap in Dr. Strangelove? And would I have to appear with Bob Ley, Bob Uecker and Bob Costas?

    It's odd to think that we had a President named Barack before we had a President named Bob....well, considering Dole's campaign in 1996, I can see why.

    28. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:15 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    There was one active MLB Bob last year, Bobby Abreu, whose given name is “Bob” but goes by “Bobby”.

    and there's not much help on the way--bref shows only 3 Bob's currently in the minors (Alcombrack, Blevins, and Borchering)

    Alcombrack??!!!
    29. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:16 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    We've had no presidents named Steve or Mike, either. Weird.
    30. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:17 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I will also echo that Ole Miss has the hottest girls. I went to spring break one year in NOLA and my friends and I were blown away by how hot every single Ole Miss girl was.
    31. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:18 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    and there's not much help on the way--bref shows only 3 Bob's currently in the minors (Alcombrack, Blevins, and Borchering)


    It seems like BB-ref doesn't let you view more than the first page of search results for the minors. I got the name Bob Stumpo from one of the commenters on TFA.
    32. Neutral Milk Dotel (Dan Lee) posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:19 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Should I compare the dearth of Bobs to the missile gap or the facetious mine gap in Dr. Strangelove?
    I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious Bobbily fluids.
    33. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:20 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    yet we've a Zachary, a Millard, a Franklin (2 of them), a Ulysses, a Rutherford, a Chester, a Grover (twice), a Woodrow, a Calvin, a Lyndon, and a Barack

    (no Davids, either)
    34. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:28 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Or Donalds.

    Or Peters.

    (Though we've had a Dick.)

    (Sorry -- couldn't help it.)
    35. Rants Mulliniks (formerly Cold Prosimian) posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:30 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I just Googled images for Ole Miss girls and realized how old I am.
    36. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:31 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    A first cousin's son (which makes the kid my ... second cousin? first cousin once removed? third uncle? I've awful at these things)

    I just go with "nephew." It's not true, but it's simple, and close enough.

    Also, "Tanner" is an awesome baseball name.
    Definitely not a cruddy one.
    37. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn)  posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:33 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    the prettiest girls you'll ever see

    I used to think this about Ole Miss until I discovered something called "large cities."
    38. Bob Evans posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:44 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    a Ulysses

    Whose actual birth name was Hiram.
    39. Daunte Vicknabbit! posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:44 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    In my 7 years at Florida I've never roadtripped for football out of fear of Texas Chainsaw-style redneckery. I guess I should've made that trip to Ole Miss.
    40. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:44 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Also, "Tanner" is an awesome baseball name.
    Definitely not a cruddy one.

    that's good because there are 8 Tanners currently in the minors.

    More Tanners than Bobs--what's this world coming to???
    41. SoSH U at work posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:51 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Also, "Tanner" is an awesome baseball name.
    Definitely not a cruddy one.


    That's a good point. The original was the very definition of "ballplayer."

    42. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes posted on January 19, 2012 at 02:56 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I used to think this about Ole Miss until I discovered something called "large cities."

    Yes.
    I hear about beautiful women in France, or Italy, or Brazil, but I live in San Francisco: all you gotta do is walk around downtown at lunchtime, and the diversity and frequency of pretty women is... wonderful.
    43. Devin has a deep burning passion for fuzzy socks posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:01 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    A first cousin's son (which makes the kid my ... second cousin? first cousin once removed? third uncle? I've awful at these things)


    That'd be first cousin once removed. I just go with "cousin's son". I think if you don't specify, the first is implied.
    44. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:01 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I used to think this about Ole Miss until I discovered something called "large cities."


    Psh. Counting stats are nice, but Hotness Per Female Percentage is a rate stat where Ole Miss blows Chicago away.
    45. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:03 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I live in San Francisco: all you gotta do is walk around downtown at lunchtime, and the diversity and frequency of pretty women is... wonderful.


    Pretty men, too, I gather. NTTAWWT.
    46. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:05 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    That'd be first cousin once removed. I just go with "cousin's son". I think if you don't specify, the first is implied.


    I'm from rural Arkansas & now live in the middle of Alabama. The default implication would be that the cousin & I procreated.
    47. Greg (U)K posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:10 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    A list of select names from the parliament rolls of 1626. More than a few given names that we have sadly lost over time

    Beauchamp St. John
    Unton Croke
    Sampsen Darrell
    Thomas Meautys (cheated there, I just like the last name)
    Bevil Grenville
    Reginald Mohun
    Clipsby Crew
    Patricius Curwen Bart
    Ignatius Jordan
    Harbottle Grimston Sr.
    Baptist Hicks
    Capell Bedell
    Montagu Bertie
    Heneage Finch
    Framlingham Gawdy
    Hamon le Strange
    Gervase Clifton
    Calcot Chambre
    Bulstrode Whitlock
    Ambrose Browne
    Poynings More
    Lancelot Roper
    Eubule Thelwall
    48. YR Misses Reggie Bars posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:12 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Psh. Counting stats are nice, but Hotness Per Female Percentage is a rate stat where Ole Miss blows Chicago away.


    But hey, don't take our word for it.
    49. gef the talking mongoose posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:19 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Beauchamp St. John
    Unton Croke
    Sampsen Darrell
    Thomas Meautys (cheated there, I just like the last name)
    Bevil Grenville
    Reginald Mohun
    Clipsby Crew
    Patricius Curwen Bart
    Ignatius Jordan
    Harbottle Grimston Sr.
    Baptist Hicks
    Capell Bedell
    Montagu Bertie
    Heneage Finch
    Framlingham Gawdy
    Hamon le Strange
    Gervase Clifton
    Calcot Chambre
    Bulstrode Whitlock
    Ambrose Browne
    Poynings More
    Lancelot Roper
    Eubule Thelwall


    LSU's next recruiting class in football. Except, of course, that the first names aren't spelled randomly enough.
    50. Tom Nawrocki posted on January 19, 2012 at 03:22 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    We've had no presidents named Steve or Mike, either.


    There was Grover Cleveland. Can't imagine why someone would prefer "Grover" to "Steve."

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