Woo-hoo…I haven’t laughed at a Strauss this hard since Stanislas “Animal” Kasava danced with Harry “Sugar Lips” Shapiro! #stalaugh17

Joe Strauss @JoeStrauss

District in meltdown. Mention Natitude and it’s as if someone shook the hive. #NotMyMarketingCampaign

Now, this is funny, because apparently a few Nats fans got angry at Strauss or something. And by writing “#NotMyMarketingCampaign,” Strauss here signifies that he did not, in fact, come up with Natitude. Meaning he’s zeroing in on ...

As Paul Daugherty furiously starts “1. 2. 3.” recounting “4. 5. 6.” Brandon Phillips’ RBI total. “7. 8. 9. 10. 11.”

Before Cardinals infielder Matt Carpenter took the field Thursday and offered examples of why he may be back at Citi Field next month as an All-Star, manager Mike Matheny stumped for the second baseman with an even higher title.

“He has established himself as the best second baseman in the league,” Matheny said. “The rest of the baseball world is overlooking what he’s ...

Skates punk: Tales of terror.

Smith was hitting better than .300 in early June 1983, but his drug use was intensifying.

“I did cocaine and pot mostly and I was even starting to drink,” Smith told the Associated Press in March 1984. “That was a bad sign because my father was an alcoholic and still is. I saw what it did to him and I had stayed away from that. But avoiding alcohol left me wide open to drugs.

“I started in high school in Los Angeles … It progressively got worse. The ...

How is St. Louis fending off the Reds and Pirates? Grinding, says hitting coach John F. Mabry.

Mabry uses terms like “process” and “grinding” almost interchangeably. Mind-set is as important to success as technique.

Mabry knows that style carries lots of weight in a market that loves to reminisce about Whitey-ball, which was played on a rug with lots of fast guys, two elements this club no longer boasts. (Nobody in the NL has attempted fewer steals than the Cardinals’ 17.) The new ...

The only person associated with the Royals to cheer for this summer.

A recent transplant to St. Louis, Hoffmann visited a new Flying Saucer Draught Emporium, which has an award for people in their UFO Club who drink 200 different beers from the menu.

The first person to complete the task receives a commemorative plate with their name on it to be placed in the establishment’s “Ring of Honor.”

Only Hoffman planned a twist.

The engraving would say Don Denkinger, whose name still evokes ...

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Less than a year removed from his selection in the draft, celebrated prospect Michael Wacha will make his major-league debut Thursday at Busch Stadium against the Kansas City Royals.

While it’s not nearly as easy of debut as it would have once been, this has to be one of the easiest situations they could call him up for with half the pitchers on the team having their arms falling off.

Here come Freese, he’s wearing a Cardinals shirt
Here comes Craig, y’know he’s sporting pure RBI plague
Androgenius.

“Absolutely, I always root for them,” McGwire said Saturday. “I’ve got a lot of time invested - great times - with those guys over there.

“It was a bit funny to watch them from the other side. But they’re really great hitters. Their offense is just stacked. It’s always been but ... it’s sort of different when you’re watching from the other side.

“You just ...

Former Cardinals outfielder Fernando Tatís once famously hit 2 Grand Slams in one inning and set a Major Leage record with 8 RBI in one frame but that may not be his biggest feat. Lately it seems that Fernando has been lighting up the world of graphic design and his all original creations are truly a sight to behold and the world needs to stand up and take notice.

It’s like another remake of Dawn of the Dead.

Somebody is going to get traded eventually. When you have surplus in one area and a shortage in another, it’s the only sensible thing to do.

“I understand why people connect the shortstop-outfielder and on a low level find a way for that to help both teams,” Cardinals general manager John Mozeliak said Friday. “But the reality is we have just gotten to the point we wanted with our farm system — with more elite talent back and set to contribute to the major-league club. I’m not in the ...

During spring training in 2010 as the Cardinals tried to indoctrinate fastball jockey Brad Penny into the organization’s philosophy of sink, pitching coach Dave Duncan and his staff kept a running tally for Penny’s benefit on a markerboard in the coaches’ office.
In one column, the pitching coach counted every fly ball allowed during spring, and in another all of the groundballs. Beside each was the number of extra-base hits in the air or on the ground. That number, so much higher by the ...

This is not good news.

An MRI taken of Cardinals closer Jason Motte’s right elbow on Tuesday revealed a low-grade tear of the ligament, which, if it doesn’t show improvement over the next three weeks, will require season-ending Tommy John surgery.

We have met the enemy. And they are us.

As we flock to Busch Stadium for the 2013 home opener, this is as good time as any to tell everyone that St. Louis is The Best Baseball Town in America.
In case you didn’t know it, we’ll be happy to repeat it. If you didn’t hear us say it the first 100,000 times, no problem. We’ll brag on it again.

And again. …

And again. …

Let’s face it: we’re baseball snobs.

The Cardinals and their fans can be annoying to outsiders. Try to view it ...

Fans get ready, there’s a train-wreck comin’
You don’t need no excess baggage, you just get on board

The “tradition” argument is weak.

Why? The DH is now part of that tradition.

The DH is used in the minor leagues, the colleges, high schools, and right on down the line.

The NL is the oddball here.

Like it or not, the National League will adopt the DH rule. The day is coming; most baseball people think we’ll see the DH implemented within 10 years.

Look at it this way, Cardinals fans: if ...

The five-year, $97.5 million deal will run from 2014 through 2018, when Wainwright will turn 37.

Bad news for the St. Louis bullpen, as closer Jason Motte is likely to open the season on the disabled list because of a mild elbow strain. Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that Motte won’t be able to take the mound for at least a week thanks to a slight tear of the flexor tendon.

“Right now it’s going to slow him down,” Cardinals GM Mozeliak said. “We’re certainly going to be aggressive with the rehab. The DL is likely going to happen.”

The 30-year-old Motte, a converted ...

As young Jesse Simpson might say…

The message Herzog wanted to impart the most was to be flexible.

“One of the things he told me was there is no ‘book,’” said Matheny. “I kept putting him in different situations and would ask him, ‘What’s your rule of thumb?’ He said, ‘There is no rule of thumb. The game situation is never the same twice.’”

Asked if Herzog ever had answered, “I don’t know,” to one of Matheny’s questions, Matheny laughed and said, “I don’t ...

Given his diagnosis and the “it’s basically all over” comments from Mike Matheny and John Mozeliak last month, it’s not a terribly surprise to hear Chris Carpenter say this when he paid a visit to Cardinals’ camp today, but he said it all the same. Derrick Goold of the Post-Dispatch:

Asked if he sees a way back to the ballpark as a player, Carpenter did not sound hopeful.

“I do (want to keep playing),” Carpenter said. “I don’t think I can.”

More wins than Rich Gossage, ...

The Cardinals are stacked in the minors. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them peddle some of their surplus for a good young shortstop. The Cardinals and Texas could definitely be a good trade match-up.

The St. Louis Cardinals have announced that shortstop Rafael Furcal’s elbow injury will require Tommy John surgery to repair a torn ligament, according to Derrick Goold of The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Furcal’s expected recovery period is eight months.

The Cardinals were preparing to start the regular season without a healthy Furcal, but based on their current backups it wouldn’t appear they were planning on him missing the entire 2013 campaign.

As recently as this weekend, St. Louis continued ...

Damn do I ever miss him.

In 2010, the Washington Nationals were hosting the Cardinals when hotshot rookie Stephen Strasburg learned he had a torn ligament and would be sidelined at least a year to recover from the necessary Tommy John surgery.

He said Chris Carpenter and Albert Pujols both sought him out during that series to offer advice. But it was after his surgery that Strasburg heard from the greatest Cardinal.

“As soon as I got home from surgery I had a video message waiting from Stan ...

(Throws 10-pound bag of Nilosorb on massivo jub-jub puddle on floor)

A Buck had been in the Cardinals’ broadcast booth for 47 consecutive seasons until Joe, son of legendary broadcaster Jack Buck, decided to pull out five years ago. But he might be back on an extremely limited basis this season, in a ground-breaking role, if the planets align correctly.

There have been preliminary discussions about him doing play-by-play for a handful of Cards games on Fox Sports Midwest, in a looser ...

Anybody got some Lohse change?

Every signing that [the Indians] have made has surprised folks that they were willing and able to spend the money and come with the certainty that NOW the Indians must be tapped out. Maybe they aren’t… and Lohse is a definite fit for a team that basically pitched itself out of the division race last season. The draft pick wouldn’t matter a bit – if I’m not mistaken, all they would lose would be a fourth rounder. The Kansas City Royals are another team ...

Only Griffey was young (how Burns was able to pry a 22-year-old Ken Griffey away from the Mariners is a mystery). Other than him, only Canseco and Clemens could still have been considered in their prime. That’s a very old infield. Most of the players had strong 1991 seasons, so you can understand their appeal to Burns, but buying a year late is a common problem in baseball. Heading into the season, the team had no depth. Most glaringly, there was but one pitcher with big league experience, ...

Uhh…shouldn’t the Cards be looking for someone who brings the chase for Crystal Light Mocktails instead?

General manager John Mozeliak said, after his staff had done its due diligence, “We found nothing negative about him.”

Gary LaRocque, one of Mozeliak’s assistants, who signed Wigginton with the Mets, “was a huge advocate,” Mozeliak said. That Wigginton plays the game with a “get out of my way” approach is an influence seen as positive. Catchers beware. Second basemen, too. He’s comin’. ...