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    • Thursday, April 18, 2013

    Reddit: I am Jose Canseco, famed steroid user and former MLB player. Ask me anything.

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    posted on April 18, 2013 at 03:56 PM by Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) to general, interviews, jose canseco  |  8 comment(s)

    Q: How meaningful was it when Jim Carrey screamed “I’m Jose Canseco!” in Liar Liar?

    He could have screamed many other names when he thought of playing baseball with his kid.


    A: hes a big fan of mine plus we had a threesome together

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    1. Don Geovany Soto (chris h.) posted on January 04, 2013 at 10:46 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I feel like the Jose Canseco story is not going to end well, but I must admit that the idea of a major city having Canseco as a mayor is pretty hilarious.
    2. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) posted on January 04, 2013 at 10:53 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Is he even a Canadian citizen?
    3. Shooty is in the Trust Tree  posted on January 04, 2013 at 11:04 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Is he even a Canadian citizen?

    Details are for the haters, bro.
    4. The District Attorney posted on January 04, 2013 at 11:16 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    TFA:
    Canseco, born in Cuba, is an American citizen, and, thus, ineligible to run in Toronto. But in another tweet to the Star, he said he plans to “work out the citizen thing.”
    5. Shooty is in the Trust Tree  posted on January 04, 2013 at 11:26 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Why doesn't he just run in Miami? He'd be corrupt, but he's too dumb to be as corrupt as they're used to down there.
    6. Loren F. posted on January 04, 2013 at 11:28 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Jose Canseco's motto must be "At least I'm not Dykstra."
    7. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) posted on January 04, 2013 at 11:46 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Jose Canseco might also build a rocket to the moon.
    8. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) posted on January 04, 2013 at 11:49 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Why doesn't he just run in Miami? He'd be corrupt, but he's too dumb to be as corrupt as they're used to down there.

    Hell, he might be better than 80% the folks running for mayor in NYC. He can't be as corrupt as Liu.
    9. J.R. Wolf posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:02 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Jose, limited as he is, could do a better job as mayor than 90% of the clowns who occupy that position. Plus he'd be entertaining.

    I'd rather have him as president than what we have now, or the incumbent's last two challengers for that matter.
    10. Rennie's Tenet posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:05 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I'm betting that he's confusing Toronto and Dunedin.
    11. Shooty is in the Trust Tree  posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:05 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I'd rather have him as president than what we have now, or the incumbent's last two challengers for that matter.

    You forgot to add, "P.S. I am not a crackpot".
    12. Matthew E posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:13 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Canseco would probably be an improvement over Rob Ford. He'd probably take the job more seriously, for one thing.
    13. RJ in TO posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:18 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    He couldn't be worse than Mel Lastman.
    14. Der_K posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:21 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    There needs to be a Random Jose Canseco quote generator.
    Wait, no, there already is.
    15. The District Attorney posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:22 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Those clowns in Parliament did it again. What a bunch of clowns.
    16. Random Transaction Generator posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:23 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    He couldn't be worse than Mel Lastman.


    Who could be worse than him?

    Noooooooobody!


    (Note: I don't really hate him, but that (Toronto-centric) quip was too easy to ignore.)
    17. J.R. Wolf posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:25 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Shooty: Jose would at least try to do the best he could and not be the puppet of others. As a bonus he would be unlikely to ever engage in class warfare.

    I don't see any way he could be worse than what we have now. Or might have had, given the bad limited choices that were offered.
    18. Shooty is in the Trust Tree  posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:29 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Shooty: Jose would at least try to do the best he could and not be the puppet of others. As a bonus he would be unlikely to ever engage in class warfare.

    Why do you assume this about Jose? What in his CV makes you think he would do anything but do what's good for Jose? He's a clown and, as entertaining as he is, let's not mistake his stupidity and clowning for being a big-hearted lunk.
    19. Matthew E posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:35 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    What's Canseco's position on bike lanes?
    20. Non-Youkilidian Geometry posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:39 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    The really terrifying thing is that Canseco might actually be an upgrade from Ford.

    Darn you, Matthew E -- I owe you a Coke. As well as some recognition for your Santayana/Santana joke in the Renck/Larry Walker thread, which was Primey-worthy.
    21. Shooty is in the Trust Tree  posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:42 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    The really terrifying thing is that Canseco might actually be an upgrade from Ford.

    Did you Canadians ever figure out who stole all the maple syrup? Greatest heist ever. EVER!
    22. zonk posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:44 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Steve McMichael is running for mayor of Romeoville (suburban Chicago)....
    23. Petunia inquires about ponies posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:48 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Shooty, I think you're under-selling clowns - the illiterate clown has been very successful in Brazilian Congress.
    24. Non-Youkilidian Geometry posted on January 04, 2013 at 12:56 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    The really terrifying thing is that Canseco might actually be an upgrade from Ford.

    Did you Canadians ever figure out who stole all the maple syrup? Greatest heist ever. EVER!


    They arrested a bunch of people before Christmas.

    What makes this story even better!!! is that the thefts were from the "Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve", which sounds like a secret Cold War program.
    25. Matthew E posted on January 04, 2013 at 01:04 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    20: Thanks!
    26. The elusive Robert Denby posted on January 04, 2013 at 01:06 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Jose Canseco might also build a rocket to the moon.

    Nah. He's going to train extra hard and jump to the moon.
    27. Tom Nawrocki posted on January 04, 2013 at 01:16 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    No. 15 made me LOL.
    28. BourbonSamurai, vassal of the Harpsburg Empire posted on January 04, 2013 at 01:43 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I assume BBTF will send busloads of volunteers?
    29. Delorians posted on January 04, 2013 at 02:11 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I'd rather have him as president than what we have now, or the incumbent's last two challengers for that matter.

    Assuming you're serious, I'm trying to envision the profile of a voter who, faced with the hypothetical choices of Obama, McCain, and Romney, would say 'I don't want to vote for any of these for president; I wish Jose Canseco was on the ballot'. On second though, the error in my last sentence was probably in the first 3 words.
    30. Voros McCracken of Pinkus posted on January 04, 2013 at 02:18 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Jose has finally found the occupation where being an attention junkie works as a positive.

    Delorians,

    Jose is an upgrade on any of the recent general election candidates for one obvious reason. I think Douglas Adams put it best: "To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job"
    31. The Yankee Clapper posted on January 04, 2013 at 03:06 PM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    So, Jose Canseco will be renouncing his American citizenship? Good deal for us, not so good for Canada, eh?
    32. snowles posted on January 05, 2013 at 02:19 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I was wondering how long we could keep sending down our ass clowns of entertainment before those sneaky Americans noticed. I guess turnabout is fair play, but this is a little extreme. We'll take back Nickelback and Beiber, but you have to keep Celine Dion - just keep promise to keep Canseco far away from the border, he's 10 pounds of crazy in a 2 pound bag.
    33. Infinite Joost (Voxter)  posted on January 05, 2013 at 03:20 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    Relevant.

    (Moshe Kasher interviews Canseco.)
    34. robinred  posted on January 05, 2013 at 05:52 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I feel like the Jose Canseco story is not going to end well


    That's what I think as well. In the Jose's New Year's resolutions thing that someone posted, Canseco referred to himself as an "A-List" celebrity. I recall last year that he called a press conference and there were pictures showing two people there in an empty hotel conference room.

    So yeah, it's funny, but the guy seems to have a tenuous grasp on reality, and I think it will end badly for him. He does not seem to be a crook like Dykstra, but Canseco does seem to be like a dog wandering along a highway.
    35. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance posted on January 05, 2013 at 06:49 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    I was wondering how long we could keep sending down our ass clowns of entertainment before those sneaky Americans noticed. I guess turnabout is fair play, but this is a little extreme. We'll take back Nickelback and Beiber, but you have to keep Celine Dion - just keep promise to keep Canseco far away from the border, he's 10 pounds of crazy in a 2 pound bag.

    Woah, having to accept the banshee of pop is a non-starter.
    36. vivaelpujols posted on January 06, 2013 at 02:37 AM #  hit 0 | hit 0

    “I actually died over night and came back to life now i am a vampire and you are my apprentice.”


    Sounds kinky

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