What wouldn't Jesus do?

This is serious, ties often indicate a suit!

God I can't wait for games to start. At this point I'd kill for a series of "best shape of his life" stories. Yes yes, they're all terrible human beings who use steroids and have teeny tiny testes and shouldn't be allowed to interact with other humans. Somehow I'll get past that and enjoy the games. You know why? Because I'm grown up enough to understand that being good at sports doesn't mean someone is a good person.

These writers are so filled with self-loathing that they have to elevate baseball players as people to validate their pitiful lives and then when the players disappoint by being human they have to attack them with the venom of a convert. Here's a tip. If you are in your 40s or 50s and still saying "gee whiz, a player just hit 40 home runs, he must be pure of heart" you are a ####### moron.

Thanks, had to get that out.

Doesn't he get a pass for hitting in Safeco?

Montero being named in records at the clinic doesn’t mean he definitely used any sort of performance-enhancing drug—

But hey, it makes for a great headline, right?

#### this. I want to play some ball.

At this point I'd kill for a series of "best shape of his life" stories.

Even if he's in the best shape of his life.... because of steroids?

Doesn't he get a pass for hitting in Safeco?

Steroids should be mandatory for the Mariners' hitters.

God I can't wait for games to start. At this point I'd kill for a series of "best shape of his life" stories.

The most annoying thing is how names are coming out one at a time, just like they were when someone on the Balco prosecution team was leaking names. It's obvious that they're coming out one at a time to keep interest in the thing and to try to build outage, but Jesus H. Montero, why doesn't someone just publish a list and be done with it? This endless dramatics is tiresome.

Montero being named in records at the clinic doesn’t mean he definitely used any sort of performance-enhancing drug

Though when Ryan Braun says that, we call ########! NAMES ARE CONNECTED. CONNECT THE DOTS, SHEEPLE.

Even if he's in the best shape of his life.... because of steroids?

Well that's understood. Anyone in the best shape of his life has to be doing steroids.

This is serious, ties often indicate a suit!


And 2 pair of pants.

Montero heard that Braun consulted Bosch about a suit. So Montero also consulted Bosch about a suit, yeah he needed a new suit....that's the ticket.

And 2 pair of pants.

AKA: The Smitty nightmare.

...why doesn't someone just publish a list and be done with it? This endless dramatics is tiresome.

Because the news cycle these days is too short. Dumping a big list would be forgotten about in a day or two. This way it keeps the pot simmering to an explosive revelation. Tune in next week for that.

Jeff Pearlman - "I knew that all of those miracles were fake. No one can walk on water without PEDs"

Ray DP - "Yeah but Jesus saved humanity in the late 20 AD's. Besides we all know that Moses used greenies."

Edit: Bonds is black Jesus

I saw a reference to "Andy" in the notebooks. It's all starting to make sense now.

The more names that come out, the more proof we have that these PEDs didn't work.

Don't you hate 2 pairs of pants

The more names that come out, the more proof we have that these PEDs didn't work.

How do you figure? Maybe Jesus Montero hits 12 HRs last year without PEDs instead of 15. Maybe he hits 6. Maybe he hits 25. That not-good baseball players used steroids doesn't prove anything. They could have been even more not-good without them.

It's obvious that they're coming out one at a time to keep interest in the thing and to try to build outage, but Jesus H. Montero, why doesn't someone just publish a list and be done with it? This endless dramatics is tiresome.

So there's a baseball-wide conspiracy to release names one a time and everybody is toeing the line? Nobody with a real bug up their ass about steroids has decided "Screw these guys, I'm going to release all the names because screw them"? Or no writer or source has decided "Gee, I'm going to release this entire list and write the one big story and get all the credit"? And MLB, which presumably are the ones running this conspiracy, have decided it's in baseball's best interest to drag out this steroid drama as long as possible because it's better if half your fanbase is ticked off and every baseball writer in America is excoriating its players daily in the press? Attention is attention, but that's one hell of a risk for the league to take.

Conspiracies among large groups of people rarely happen because it takes incredible discipline to maintain the secret and everybody has to stay on the same page. Which, as somebody who is finally watching Lost for the first time on Netflix right now, becomes incredibly hard as the circle widens because all it takes is one person to spill the beans for whatever multitude of reasons that person decides is important. Most people can't keep secrets for ####, particularly secrets that don't cause injury to them personally. Much more likely is that, with a couple hundred or thousand national baseball writers now in on the feeding frenzy and trying to break something new on this story, names and information and such are slowly trickling out as everybody tries their damndest to scrape together as much information as they can on any kind of anything on anyone as possible.

I hate it when ballplayers like Barry Bonds and Jesus Montero wear two pair of pants.

And Mike Crudale.

This is all a plot to bring everyone around to my long standing position of not caring about steroids. It is just as irrelevent to my enjoyment in watching baseball as it is to my enjoyment in watching football. Leagues can negotiate tests and punishments, that's fine, but what happens on the field is what I enjoy and I don't care if player x was on steroids when he hit a homerun/scred a touchdown.

Come join me, it is so much more relaxing and enjoyable than clenching over every little bit of a players biochemical content.