Wouldn’t mind seeing her bust in Cooperstown some day.

For nearly three decades, Morganna Roberts, known as the “Kissing Bandit,” ran onto baseball fields and arena floors with her buxom features on display. She famously kissed stars such as Pete Rose, George Brett and Nolan Ryan, becoming MLB’s unofficial mascot and bringing levity to the game. But despite her willingness to flaunt her 60-inched chest and embrace celebrity on late-night shows with Johnny Carson and David Letterman, ...

The answer turns out to be “a lot of things”, and they all happen very quickly, and it doesn’t end well for the batter (or the pitcher). I sat down with some physics books, a Nolan Ryan action figure, and a bunch of videotapes of nuclear tests and tried to sort it all out. What follows is my best guess at a nanosecond-by-nanosecond portrait:

In the 11 days since someone in Ryan’s camp leaked to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram his dissatisfaction with the Rangers’ new power structure that took away his title of team president, all Ryan has mustered publicly is a statement that said absolutely nothing, a hubristic response unbecoming a CEO whose organization is in crisis mode. Meanwhile, ownership has bowed to the altar of his Nolan Ryanness, saying pretty, pretty please stick around. President of baseball operations Jon Daniels, who ...