I tried using quotes html and it still didn't take. It should be automatic.

It didn't work because you were trying to quote chit-chat.

Is he the Sheldon Cooper of pitching?

This doesn't sound so much like a social anxiety disorder as much as Greinke is just being a common jerk.

I'd go with the Sheldon Cooper analogy if he had referenced a Star Trek character or scenario, though.

“If it’s interesting, yeah, I’ll talk. But just, ‘How was your day?’ I’m not interested in that.”

THIS. THIS. THIS. SO MUCH ####### THIS!!!

This doesn't sound so much like a social anxiety disorder as much as Greinke is just being a common jerk.

It's pretty clear that Greinke would be diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder if he were growing up today. Most people with ASDs report that idle chit-chat makes their skin crawl. He's not really being a jerk here, but just being honest. IMHO.

I don't have ASD, and I admit to absolutely hating fake small talk.
I can talk for hours with friends and family, but trying to maintain basic communication with individual strangers (or "acquaintances" at work) is something that I despise.
My number one response to "Hey! How's it going?" when I pass someone in the hall is "Hey!" and I keep walking.
My wife is my social connector for parties and gatherings, as I'd rather not just stand around and talk about banal subjects (weather! kids! politics!).

I don't have ASD, and I admit to absolutely hating fake small talk.

Everyone hates fake small talk. Not all small talk is fake. I imagine there's a wealth of academic literature on this.

I don't hate small talk so much as I dread it. When I'm with someone I know, or I know I have common interest with I'm fine. But if I'm talking with a run of the mill stranger I go into full panic mode and try desperately to come up with something to say, because I'm sure sitting there silently makes me look like a psychopath. At times I'll literally look around for some nearby thing or person to comment on which, coupled with my general hatred of eye contact, probably makes me come off as a bit of a jerk.

It looks like to crypto-autistics are gathering here, so perhaps I can offer perspective about life on the other side of the social interaction spectrum.

For some of us, small talk doesn't really exist, because meeting new people or learning about others is REALLY EXCITING. I don't say, "How are you?" Because I'm terrified of silence, but because "hey here is somebody, let's learn about them because people are fun, and then we'll interact because interacting with people is AWESOME and people are interesting and gosh it is exciting to talk to other people, I wonder what we will talk about next maybe they have some cool hobby or interest that we share?!?!?!"

In other words, entering a room full of people is like being a ten year old boy and entering a dinosaur museum.

(Edited for autocorrect)

My 5 year old is autistic, and made lots of progress the last two years, to the point of being mainstreamed this year. But she doesn't see the point of idle chit chat and I wonder if she ever will. Every "conversation" is merely a means to an end, if she doesn't want something from you, or you from her, she sees no need for talking and eye contact and all that work.

There was a guy on my freshman hall that decided to dispense with small talk and to be sincere and interested and deep 100% of the time. He also tried to establish and maintain eye contact during any conversation. It was really creepy and disconcerting. I later learned that he wasn't just like this, it was a kind of experiment or campaign of his, a way of eliminating the phoniness in our lives and establishing deep relationships, or something like that.

With me (and probably some other people) it had the exact opposite of the intended effect - it was a barrier to friendship. Small talk is a useful first step towards more meaningful connections.

Count me among the crypto-autistics then. Greg's post 9 and RTG's post 7 describe me pretty much to a T. Down to the wife doing all of the social coordinating.

Count me among the crypto-autistics then. Greg's post 9 and RTG's post 7 describe me pretty much to a T. Down to the wife doing all of the social coordinating.

That's not too surprising. There is a slim chance that you and I are the same person suffering from an acute personality disorder and posting under different accounts. My parents did name me after a Pope.

It would explain why every now and then I get logged off of BTF.

EDIT: I should add, as per Cabbage, that I find meetinig new people is often a very fulfilling experience. I just really, really suck at it.

Oh goody, found out I was autistic today.

because "hey here is somebody, let's learn about them because people are fun, and then we'll interact because interacting with people is AWESOME and people are interesting and gosh it is exciting to talk to other people, I wonder what we will talk about next maybe they have some cool hobby or interest that we share?!?!?!"

But this is BTF. Please rethink.

Oh goody, found out I was autistic today.

We were debating whether to tell you;)

It's funny since my daughter was diagnosed how often I see autistic traits evidenced by my friends, family and obviously myself. It's funny when the traits aren't crippling or overwhelming, and it just makes us socially awkward at times. His traits help make Greinke "quirky" and interesting, but he's still able to function "normally' in society.

And it's why they call it a spectrum, there is a range of behaviors under that umbrella and many of us have one or two. It only becomes awful when you have so many of the traits in a combination that makes communication and life more difficult. And terrifying when it happens to a little child whom you lose the ability to reach.

1. I moved to the Midwest about a year ago, and discovered that this kind of interaction is valued highly here. This is a problem for me, not because I land somewhere on the autism spectrum, but because I tend to view niceness as dishonesty. In fact, living in a place that places a high social value on small talk and niceness has reenforced this feeling rather than destroyed it.

2. DEAN PELTON: Boys' night!
ABED: I need help reacting to something.

If idle chit chat makes you annoyed or angry, that's one thing. If idle chit chat makes your heart race and makes you sweat, makes you feel dizzy and/or panicky, then you probably have social anxiety disorder.

Now, I've always pronounced 'Greinke' with a long 'I' sound (like the first part of 'grind'). That said, I share a fantasy league with a team currently named '50 Shades of Greinke' and I think that that is just terrific.

Oh goody, found out I was autistic today.

Please refer to comment #4

The weather is just gorgeous today!

There was a guy on my freshman hall that decided to dispense with small talk and to be sincere and interested and deep 100% of the time. He also tried to establish and maintain eye contact during any conversation. It was really creepy and disconcerting. I later learned that he wasn't just like this, it was a kind of experiment or campaign of his, a way of eliminating the phoniness in our lives and establishing deep relationships, or something like that.

I tried that once on a first date, just to see what would happen. It didn't work one bit. The eye contact, I think, is the creepiest part; it makes you look like you're interrogating someone.

For some of us, small talk doesn't really exist, because meeting new people or learning about others is REALLY EXCITING. I don't say, "How are you?" Because I'm terrified of silence, but because "hey here is somebody, let's learn about them because people are fun, and then we'll interact because interacting with people is AWESOME and people are interesting and gosh it is exciting to talk to other people, I wonder what we will talk about next maybe they have some cool hobby or interest that we share?!?!?!"

I'm pretty good at small talk and don't particularly dislike it, but it definitely exists for me. My issue is getting from small talk to deep talk with a smooth transition; something interesting comes up and I start geeking out on it.

The weather is just gorgeous today!

Anyone trying that opener on me must be prepared for a long rant on the awfulness of February in Sweden.

I don't mind small talk much, unless it turns to TV because I watch no shows at all.

If idle chit chat makes your heart race and makes you sweat, makes you feel dizzy and/or panicky, then you probably have social anxiety disorder.

I think I have dating anxiety disorder.

Another small-talk hater here, and the absolute worst for me has to be when some random stranger (usually quite elderly, so the list is extensive) tries to engage me in small talk over their various infirmities when I'm trapped in a doctor's waiting area. Elevator talk at work about the weather or if I'm "staying busy" runs a close second.

The eye contact, I think, is the creepiest part; it makes you look like you're interrogating someone.

I believe I read somewhere that a significant portion of the population views eye contact as a form of aggression, an evolutionary trait of ours I would imagine. So the whole looking deep into their eyes thing was something one shouldn't do when trying to make a first impression. The other little tidbits I remember is that touching forms a trust and that you're more likely to get a positive answer if you ask a question while touching someone and to further increase your chances of a positive answer you should talk so that their right ear is the main ear hearing you.

Now trying pulling that off without coming of as a creepy human being.

I mean, everyone hates awkward and boring conversations. But if you meet someone new and you find something in common, you can talk about relatively meaningless things (tv shows, neighborhoods in Boston, mole recipes, maybe even baseball!) and have a good time. It's a skill. Obviously for some people it comes easier than others, and for some people it don't come at all, but if I can have a good small conversation, I enjoy it.

That's not too surprising. There is a slim chance that you and I are the same person suffering from an acute personality disorder and posting under different accounts.

And then we eatssss it, yes?

Now trying pulling that off without coming of as a creepy human being.

The modern definition of creepiness was most likely developed by the generation that exhibits the traits described here. This is enabled by the ability to bury their heads in Facebook pages and text messages or hide behind the earbuds on their iPods while the world goes by. It's a perfect synergy.

The modern definition of creepiness was most likely developed by the generation that exhibits the traits described here. This is enabled by the ability to bury their heads in Facebook pages and text messages or hide behind the earbuds on their iPods while the world goes by. It's a perfect synergy.

tl;dr

Shorter: Get off my lawn.

One reason I pay as much attention to college football as I do -- not much at all, but enough to have a clue what people are talking aobut -- is so that I can rather easily engage in casual conversation here in the heart of SEC country.

I believe I read somewhere that a significant portion of the population views eye contact as a form of aggression,

"HEY, YOU LOOKIN AT ME? YEAH, YOU, ############!"

OTOH I think that's less true if you're already in a conversation. It's eye contact with strangers that's more of a no-no.

The other little tidbits I remember is that touching forms a trust

Definitely true, as long as it's just a touch and you don't keep repeating it. There's a fine line between being an occasional toucher and being a dreaded closetalker.

One of the best and most interesting people I know has one particular habit that drives everyone up a wall: He keeps recounting his poker games to people who can barely tell a heart from a diamond. My wife and I were out to dinner with him on Friday night, and he went on without stopping about some game he had in Atlantic City for a full fifteen minutes. After we dropped him off, I asked her if she had any idea what the hell he was talking about. "Of course not," she said, "but I didn't want to be rude and tell him that, and it didn't seem to matter to him that I didn't." She is a VERY polite woman.

My 5 year old is autistic, and made lots of progress the last two years, to the point of being mainstreamed this year. But she doesn't see the point of idle chit chat and I wonder if she ever will. Every "conversation" is merely a means to an end, if she doesn't want something from you, or you from her, she sees no need for talking and eye contact and all that work."

As you probably know (being a parent of a kid on the spectrum) it varies a lot depending on the person. I dislike small talk, but see it as a necessary evil. Some Aspies dislike it even more than I do and won't take part in it; at the same time I've met a few who actually enjoy it.

He keeps recounting his poker games to people who can barely tell a heart from a diamond.

Lots of poker players do this. Lots of fantasy players do this as well. And people whoo used to own bookshops tend to talk about bookshops a lot.

Zing!

Definitely true, as long as it's just a touch and you don't keep repeating it. There's a fine line between being an occasional toucher and being a dreaded closetalker.

Killing is too good for closetalkers. They are the worst.

Lots of poker players do this. Lots of fantasy players do this as well. And people whoo used to own bookshops tend to talk about bookshops a lot.

My biggest problem is that I assume going into the conversation that nobody wants to talk about things that interest me and I don't really care about the things that interest other people. Thus why at times I fear I'm a sociopath.

What McCoy said.

I'm really not into anything that most people are. I don't watch television, I don't listen to the typical music (I interact with classical musicians a lot, but I don't listen to their typical music either!), I don't really follow any sport but baseball anymore, and talking about politics is considered impolite. So the only thing to small talk about is the weather, and that only takes a few seconds. What comes next?

I just ate the most delicious orange.

My biggest problem is that I assume going into the conversation that nobody wants to talk about things that interest me and I don't really care about the things that interest other people. Thus why at times I fear I'm a sociopath.

My family moved frequently when I was a kid and I felt very similar to this much of the time because I'd tend to immediately reveal the intensity of my interest in a subject should someone raise it. A trait other kids, quite reasonably, found weird. As I grew up and my interpersonal frame of reference widened, I eventually realized that low-level weirdness could be an item of reciprocal interest. Recreational drug use certainly helped me get over myself. I learned I could be as tiresome, on any subject, as anyone else.

Making small talk (or anything on the getting-to-know-you spectrum) is still a conscious effort, but one I generally try to make. I think I've enough personality traits that beg indulgence that I can try and indulge others to a reasonable degree. Though I acknowledge I may just be mirroring behavior and the harmlessness of my sociopathology is merely down to my general lack of ambition.

I just ate the most delicious orange.

I find this implausible. Out of trillions of oranges, the odds of that one being the most delicious is infinitesimal.

I find this implausible. Out of trillions of oranges, the odds of that one being the most delicious is infinitesimal.

There's no sabermetrics for oranges. It really was quite good. Tasted almost like those orange slices candy.

When a real orange tastes almost like artificial orange flavor, you know it's good.

tidbits:

mole recipes

Proper pronunciation plays a role here.

There was a guy on my freshman hall that decided to dispense with small talk

He was probably taking Psych or Sociology 101. From Harold Garfinkel's wiki page:

Breaching experiments are experiments where "social reality is violated in order to shed light on the methods by which people construct social reality."[44] In Garfinkel's work, Garfinkel encouraged his students to attempt breaching experiments in order to provide examples of basic ethnomethodology.[45] According to Garfinkel, these experiments are important because they help us understand '"the socially standardized and standardizing, 'seen but unnoticed,' expected, background features of everyday scenes.'"

He'd do stuff like have students go home over break and treat their parents like strangers. "How are you son?" "I am feeling fine, thank you. How are your Mrs. Davis?"

Completely unsurprising to anyone who's human, the reaction to the breaking of social convention is often anger. Garfinkel found this deep and meaningful, I assume most folks just thought he was a jerk.

This can play out in all sorts of settings obviously. I used to help put on avant-garde jazz and other experimental music shows. Sometimes somebody would show up not knowing what they were getting, maybe talked into it by a friend. Certainly the music isn't for everybody so I always expected some folks who showed up to not like it. What I didn't expect was the angry reactions.

My biggest problem is that I assume going into the conversation that nobody wants to talk about things that interest me and I don't really care about the things that interest other people.

Moving to New Zealand and now Australia, I've found it very difficult to make new male friends but have generally had no problem making female friends. I hadn't realized how important sports was to forming new male friendships -- they have no interest in baseball, I have virtually no interest in rugby (I certainly can't talk about it intelligently) and negative interest in cricket. Our conversation can't get out of the starting block. It's doubly worse because a reasonably large number of them do want to talk about "gridiron" but I stopped watching the NFL ages ago.

If it's at a bar, it can be better -- we can talk about beer, women, ##### about work.

When a real orange tastes almost like artificial orange flavor, you know it's good

convergent evolution

Thus why at times I fear I'm a sociopath.

when i was in the service i was diagnosed as a borderline sociopath and i see few similarities between us

most likely you are just a jerk

//that's meant in jest

//though i did receive that assessment

I used to help put on avant-garde jazz and other experimental music shows. Sometimes somebody would show up not knowing what they were getting, maybe talked into it by a friend. Certainly the music isn't for everybody so I always expected some folks who showed up to not like it. What I didn't expect was the angry reactions.

I'm a huge Pat Metheny fan and would have to say First Circle is on my very short list of contenders for Best. Song. Ever.

That being said, I made it through about 3 tracks of Song X before taking it off my turntable, never to return.

Moving to New Zealand and now Australia, I've found it very difficult to make new male friends but have generally had no problem making female friends. I hadn't realized how important sports was to forming new male friendships -- they have no interest in baseball, I have virtually no interest in rugby (I certainly can't talk about it intelligently) and negative interest in cricket.

When I moved to England, I started out as a student, and sports didn't really figure in small-talk with men. Mostly it was about drinking, women and politics. But once I went to work, then I found my lack of interest in football (soccer) was a terrible handicap. I was interested in rugby, a bit, and could talk about Five Nations' internationals, but even though I'd built that interest at university, in the real world the number of rugby fans was much smaller.

But, in addition, another popular topic for small talk was television, either current shows or children's television of one's childhood. Having been brought up in America, I had absolutely no common ground whatsoever on this front either. Nobody had heard of Charlie Brown. Hot Wheels? Forget it. Fortunately, I'd got access to some Gerry Anderson via Thunderbirds, Supercar and Fireball XL5, so that helped, but British viewers of those tended to be a subset with whom I had little else in common. For grown-up television, I tended to watch American imports, which most people did not until the arrival of Friends, a show I never cared for.

I didn't make a new male friend until about ten years after I left university. And things got started between us by talking about rugby.

#47
My experience of moving to the UK appears to have had two main differences

A) I was actually a big fan of British TV growing up in Canada
and
B) A baseball team started up in Nottingham about 2-3 months after I had moved here. It's done absolute wonders for meeting friends, some of whom I rarely talk about baseball with and some who are no longer on the team, but it was a great gateway. I think I'd pretty much only have university friends if it wasn't for baseball.

My experience of moving to the UK

You're not in the bl--dy UK, you're in bleedin' England. You've been there about three years now, and you still haven't worked that one out?

Whyyy is this happening all of a sudden.