Seasons are simulated a million times using a Monte Carlo method, the percentile performance of player projections and estimates of roster construction. There are other bits of mathematical nerdery involved (linear algebra for the win!), but I’m sure you want to get down to the results, so here we go.
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< 1 2Wife: Nolan Ryan (plus Ernie Banks and Jackie Robinson)
better not charge the mound.
Daughter: Jeff Conine, Rico Petrocelli, Jim Edmonds
technically, we're ALL nth cousins if you make n big enough
I'd stack my team against anyone as being the worst--I do have 2 very questionable HOFers (Traynor and Maranville), but after that, only Hal Trotsky. But pitching?--the pitcher with the most wins is Ike Delock (who?)
edit - actually, I'd probably take Sherry Magee over Horner.
C: John Romano/Sherm Lollar
1b: Julio Franco
2b: Lonny Frey/Mark Bellhorn
3b: George Kell
Ss: George Davis
Of: Casey Blake
Of: Dale Mitchell
Of: Ron Blomberg
Pitching was not as good:
SP: Guy Bush
SP: Mike Boddicker
SP: Nels Potter
SP: Lew Richie
RP: Randy St. Claire
My outfield looks good: Sam Rice, Tommy Henrich, Ryan Sweeney and Julio Borbon, I've got Brian McCann behind the plate, but no IFs at all.
Curtis Montauge Schilling, baby. Jimmy Piersall. And Bonny Prince Charles.
Players with 10 years or more in MLB:
AJ Burnett
Luis Sojo
Luis Rivera
Darren Daulton
Gary Lavelle
Sid Hudson
Frenchy Bordagaray
Gus Suhr
Barney Gilligan
Buzz Arlett for Minor League credit
NBA yields Buck Williams
NFL I've got Jim Everett and Eli Manning
NHL is Bobby Hull and Rick MacLeish
Lineup: LF Lew Ford, C Ray Schalk, 3B Harlond Clift, 1B Don Hurst, CF Ellis Burton, RF/utility P Watty Lee, DH Tony Longmire, MI Kent Anderson, MI Luis Ordaz
Bench: Buncha terrible.
Rotation: Big Six, Bob Buhl, Fred Hutchinson, Matt Clement not of Alexandria, Ken McBride
Bullpen: Gene Stechschulte, Barry Manuel, Reggie Harris, Dean Hartgraves, various other scrubs and 19th/early 20th century guys
Mgr - Fred Hutchinson
P: David West
C: Joe Astroth
1b: Rico Carty
2b: Rob Wilfong
SS: Jim O'Rourke
3B: Kevin Orie
LF: Joe Marty
CF: Garry Maddox
RF: Darby O'Brien
Pretty dismal lineup outside of O'Rourke and Carty, and David West is the best I can do on the mound, but 3 centerfielders in the outfield at least gives us some defensive guff.
Leader: Queen Elizabeth II of England.
Mascot: Tony Danza.
Pitcher: Doug Drabek
Hitter: Ed Sprague
Best Athlete: Walter Payton
Best Friends: Matt LeBlanc, Joey Tribbiani
Oh and Billy Wagner
He might have the lead in lifetime accomplishments at the moment, but I'm gaining, darnit.
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