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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Clickhole: An Oral History Of The 1998 Major League Baseball Home Run Chase

Wow, what an inspiring story.

Bud Selig: It was a tight race. Every time McGwire hit a home run, Sosa would hit one right back.

Tony La Russa: Sometimes, McGwire would hit a home run, and when he finished rounding the bases, a fist would punch through his stomach, and the crowd would scream in horror as Sammy Sosa clawed his way out of Mark McGwire’s body and revealed that the home run had just been hit by Sosa in a clever disguise. Then, the real Mark McGwire would come out of the dugout and wave, and everyone would have a good laugh. Then, a fist would punch through Sosa’s stomach and a second McGwire would claw his way out of Sosa’s body, and the two McGwires would keep laughing while the rest of the crowd stared in silence.

Kerry Wood: On more than one occasion, Sosa would hit a home run, but then the umpire would smell the ball and it would smell like Mark McGwire, and so the home run would count for McGwire instead. They were in a tight race the whole year.

Bud Selig: At first, fans only cared about McGwire, but once Sosa also became a contender, all America cared about was seeing Mark and Sammy together. One day at a press conference, a reporter yelled, “McGwire and Sosa are married!” and I said, “They’re actually not,” and the reporter said, “Then what’s the point of even being alive?” People loved their friendly rivalry.


Monday, December 14, 2015

OTP - 2015 December 14: Donald Trump Should Buy The Yankees

This brings me to the reason the Yankees are also perfect for him: Owning the New York Yankees would give Trump a way to maintain his gargantuan media footprint, which not even the presidency can provide. Sure, he’s getting all the attention in the world now, but that ends if he loses.

Bitter Mouse, Space Tyrant Posted: December 14, 2015 at 07:38 AM | 1720 comment(s)
  Beats: centaurs, humor, politics

 

 

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