“Screwball” Documents the Absurdity of A-Rod’s Role in Biogenesis Through the Backdrop of Miami

Screwball understands that the story it’s telling is a farce. (It’s not called “Screwball” for nothing.) The Biogenesis steroid scandal was one of the biggest in baseball history and took down one of the game’s greatest stars in Alex Rodriguez, but it reads like an Elmore Leonard novel populated exclusively with morons, or like a Coen brothers movie rewritten by the Farrelly brothers with a dash of Harmony Korine. So smartly, the documentary treats the sordid affair like the comedy it is—a saga with huge consequences, and yet one that started over a measly $4,000 debt. The result is an exhaustive yet fun retelling of the strange, stupid peak of MLB’s PED frenzy, and one well handled by producer and director Billy Corben, who is no stranger to shining a light on Miami’s shadiest nonsense. The film is out Friday in theatres and will be released on VOD on April 5….

The connection between Bosch and Rodriguez yields some of Screwball’s best material. Bosch recounts that, in their first meeting, A-Rod—despite Ramirez having been busted and suspended in 2009 (in true Manny fashion, he mistakenly took a dose on the wrong day)—immediately tells him, “I want what Manny was taking.” His connection with Rodriguez was his most profitable, and like a low-rent Scarface, Bosch rode that success to financial windfall. He also got a window into the high-octane weirdness that is A-Rod, like the Yankees third baseman’s all-white Manhattan apartment (including the floors), or the time he drew the three-time MVP’s blood in the bathroom of a Miami nightclub, only to lose the vial while partying that night.

Astros pitcher Francis Martes, recovering from Tommy John surgery, suspended 80 games for PEDs

Astros pitcher Francis Martes – currently recovering from Tommy John surgery – was given an 80-game suspension for violating the league’s drug policy.

Martes tested positive for clomiphene, a performance-enhancing substance, Major League Baseball said in a release Tuesday.

The 23-year-old didn’t pitch in the majors in 2018, but made 32 appearances (four starts) for Houston in 2017. Martes underwent Tommy John surgery in August and wasn’t expected to return to game action until late in the year, if he returned at all this season.

He’s not trying to become pregnant, is he?

Steven Wright tests positive for GHRP-2, suspended 80 games

Major League Baseball announced on Wednesday that Red Sox starter Steven Wright has been suspended 80 games after testing positive for Growth Hormone Releasing Peptide 2 (GHRP-2). Via the MLBPA, Wright released a statement:

I was notified by MLB that I failed a test under the Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program during this past offseason. Although I do not dispute the validity of the test, I was shocked as I have never intentionally ingested anything for performance-enhancing purposes. I have fully cooperated with MLB and will continue to try and identify the source of the result.

Wright, 34, underwent an arthroscopy and a debridement procedure on his left knee in November.

Royals’ Eric Skoglund given 80-game suspension for PEDs

NEW YORK—Kansas City Royals pitcher Eric Skoglund was suspended Wednesday for the season’s first 80 games after testing positive for two performance-enhancing substances.

The MLB commissioner’s office said the positive tests were for selective androgen receptor modulators S-22 (Ostarine) and LGD-4033 (Ligandrol).

Royals general manager Dayton Moore said in a statement Skoglund “unknowingly made a mistake” and “we remain proud of who Eric is as a person and will support him as an organization.”

Lance Armstrong is mad he gets more criticism than A-Rod, saying “Alex Rodriguez didn’t raise half a billion dollars”

“I do think there’s a double standard,” he said. “But I’m OK with it.”

…Armstrong, banned from cycling for life in 2012, invoked another famous cheater in Alex Rodriguez, the former Yankees superstar who received a one-year ban for his role in Biogenesis, but has been able to reclaim a positive spot in the public eye years later. It’s a luxury Armstrong hasn’t been afforded, despite his Livestrong brand’s work for cancer research.

“Alex Rodriguez didn’t raise half a billion dollars and try to save a bunch of people’s lives,” Armstrong said. “That’s kind of the irony of this. Look, it’s great when somebody hits home runs and maybe does an event here and there for the Girls and Boys Club. This story held a place in people’s hearts and minds that was way beyond those guys.”

Griffin Conine, Jeff’s son, banned 50 games for drug test

NEW YORK- Toronto outfielder Griffin Conine, a son of former major league outfielder Jeff Conine, has been suspended for the first 50 games of next season under the minor league drug program for a positive test for the banned stimulant ritalinic acid.

New York Yankees pitcher Daniel Marten was suspended for the first 25 games for a violation of the drug program; 25-game suspensions are assessed for use or possession of a syringe of an injectable substance, the commissioner’s office said Monday.

Griffin Conine, 21, was selected by the Blue Jays in the second round of last June’s amateur draft with the 52nd overall pick and signed for a bonus of $1.35 million.

They grow up so fast….