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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

A-Rod’s next play: a tell-all | Page Six

I would imagine they have already ruled out the title Life and Time of a Baseball Playing Centaur.

Alex Rodriguez is about to seal a multimillion dollar deal for a tell-all book about his legal battle with MLB, with which he plans to lift the lid on the “full dirt of Major League Baseball’s tactics” he claims have been used against him.

Jim Furtado Posted: December 17, 2013 at 05:46 PM | 51 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: alex rodriguez, bud selig, steroids, yankees

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   1. Al Kaline Trio Posted: December 17, 2013 at 05:55 PM (#4619888)
MLB's next play: A-Rod lifetime ban
   2. Sonic Youk Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:06 PM (#4619892)
Oh man I cannot wait.
   3. zonk Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:06 PM (#4619893)
Like going to the whip?
   4. asinwreck Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:25 PM (#4619897)
Thirty Tons a Day is already taken, but apt.
   5. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:35 PM (#4619906)
A Contemptuous Yankee in King Ahab's Court
   6. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:39 PM (#4619908)
The cover will picture the centaur cleaning the Augean stables that he himself shat in.
   7. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:48 PM (#4619913)
Bud Selig - borrow A-Rod's soap and never give it back.
   8. Johnny Sycophant-Laden Fora Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:49 PM (#4619914)
Alex Rodriguez is about to seal a multimillion dollar deal for a tell-all book about his legal battle with MLB


He doesn't have to pay someone that much to publish his screeds, hell someone might due it for a nominal fee so long as AROD includes a defense and indemnity agreement in the event the publisher gets sued.
   9. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: December 17, 2013 at 06:54 PM (#4619916)
That joke was funnier when Eddie Cantor told it.
   10. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 17, 2013 at 07:03 PM (#4619919)
That joke was funnier when Eddie Cantor told it.

"Trot Trot Trotsky Goodbye."
   11. ptodd Posted: December 17, 2013 at 07:11 PM (#4619922)
What are the odds that the Yankees release Arod after his suspension and gets some financial relief from MLB to do so in the best interest of baseball (he is only owed 61 million his last 3 years). He then gets blackballed by the rest of MLB teams

If they pay off Arod in a lump sum will that get him off the books for the next 3 years for LT calculations?.

   12. Guapo Posted: December 17, 2013 at 07:17 PM (#4619925)
"Blackballed Beauty"
   13. Publius Publicola Posted: December 17, 2013 at 07:31 PM (#4619928)
Bad idea, A-Rod. Bad idea.
   14. Publius Publicola Posted: December 17, 2013 at 07:34 PM (#4619929)
Less Than Hero
   15. The Yankee Clapper Posted: December 17, 2013 at 07:37 PM (#4619931)
It appears that the Founding Primate is a regular Page Six reader.
   16. Swoboda is freedom Posted: December 17, 2013 at 07:47 PM (#4619936)
Neigh, Arod, Neigh.
   17. salajander Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:08 PM (#4619947)
   18. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:16 PM (#4619955)
If they pay off Arod in a lump sum will that get him off the books for the next 3 years for LT calculations?

Depends. Is it a sugar lump?
   19. Bob Tufts Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:29 PM (#4619962)
Maybe it's a stall tactic?
   20. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:31 PM (#4619963)
This would probably go over better if A-Rod wasn't getting paid to write it.

I was at a charity event for Animal Care & Control here in NYC a few weeks ago, and they had a silent auction. Among the items was a signed A-Rod baseball. Nobody bid on it. Not a single person. Granted, the minimum bid was $250, but you got some other items of value with it and this was a charity auction for the local animal shelter! (Given the that people were making straight-up cash donations at the event, I'm sure some of them could have had the A-Rod ball for free.)

In case you were wondering, they also had Felix Hernandez, Mark Texeira, and New York Rangers items which did sell (I bought the King Felix ball). This was not an anti-sports or anti-baseball crowd.
   21. PASTE Thinks This Trout Kid Might Be OK (Zeth) Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:41 PM (#4619967)
I laughed pretty hard at #19.
   22. Yastrzemski in left. Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:49 PM (#4619971)
It's a 20 page oversized coloring book.
   23. bobm Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:50 PM (#4619974)
Straight from the Horse's Mouth
   24. Fist Pumping Maniac Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:57 PM (#4619976)
I seriously doubt it's going to be a $5 million advance. The book would have to sell hundreds of thousands of hard-cover copies just to break even. Not happening.
   25. Howie Menckel Posted: December 17, 2013 at 08:58 PM (#4619977)
look for a surprisingly SABRmetric component, given the working title I've heard - "Whinny Shares"

or wait, maybe it is just a tell-all, after all

   26. Everybody Loves Tyrus Raymond Posted: December 17, 2013 at 09:11 PM (#4619984)
The book will drop the week of the World Series.
   27. nick swisher hygiene Posted: December 17, 2013 at 09:32 PM (#4619990)
Spare the Rod
   28. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 17, 2013 at 09:41 PM (#4619993)
I seriously doubt it's going to be a $5 million advance. The book would have to sell hundreds of thousands of hard-cover copies just to break even. Not happening.

Page Six says "offers over $5 million," not "$5 million advances." A deal that would ultimately pay $5 million if every human on Earth buys eleven copies apiece is a $5 million offer.

Literary agent Peter McGuigan: “This is a much better time for celebrity books. Publishers are given much less leeway to exercise wishful thinking or dice rolling [on non-celebrity books]. Identifiable brand names are going to be able to sell. You say ‘Sarah Silverman‘ and everybody knows who you are talking about. Publishers are buying authors, but not books, in some cases. Sometimes, they will say, ‘This proposal is crap, but this person, this brand, is something bankable.’ So they’ll buy the book and deal with it later.”

Some high-end book advances (reported):
Wayne Rooney: 5 books for $1.5 million apiece
Demi Moore: $2 million
Dick Cheney: $2 million
Dawn French: $2.25 million
Sarah Silverman: $2.5 million
Lena Dunham: $3.5 million
Amanda Knox: $4 million
Tina Fey: $5 million
Jerry Seinfeld: $7 million
Keith Richards: $7 million
George W. Bush: $7 million
Jack Welch: $7.1 million
JK Rowling: $8 million (post-Potter)
Pope John Paul II: $8.25 million
Hillary Clinton: $14 million
Bill Clinton: $15 million

Of course, oftentimes part of selling a celebrity book is publicizing an inflated sum. Sarah Palin's announced $11 million advance was only a tenth that size in reality. You could probably knock down a few of the above authors if you had access to the true paperwork.
   29. Tom Nawrocki Posted: December 17, 2013 at 10:07 PM (#4620002)
Dawn French?
   30. The kids disappeared, now Der-K has too much candy Posted: December 17, 2013 at 10:16 PM (#4620004)
british comedienne, half of french and saunders.

i can't imagine rooney reading 5 books, much less "writing" them.
   31. puck Posted: December 17, 2013 at 10:44 PM (#4620008)
It's probably worth it to pay JPII $8.25M to hear how things are going.
   32. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: December 17, 2013 at 11:57 PM (#4620020)
Granted, the minimum bid was $250, but you got some other items of value with it and this was a charity auction for the local animal shelter!


...to fund the new Alex Rodriguez Sanctuary for Abandoned or Abused Centaurs?
   33. bookbook Posted: December 18, 2013 at 01:19 AM (#4620038)
I don't know if things have changed, but publishers didn't used to get their money back when authors failed to earn out their advance (as both sides well know that the advance is rarely earned in full).

Publishers give massive advances to celebs as more of a marketing cost than a rational investment.
   34. donlock Posted: December 18, 2013 at 10:08 AM (#4620100)
Can't imagine much demand for such a book. There would probably be a publicity tour where he would refrain from saying anything for legal reasons. There would be a small media outburst over a few controversial sections. Possibly a magazine would excerpt a chapter. Public libraries would buy copies. Airport bookstores would stock it. People would buy it for Dad at Xmas/Fathers' Day. 6 months later -on the remainder shelf at a steep discount.

On that list from #28, I would think that Tina Fey's and Keith Richard's book were actually read a lot.
   35. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: December 18, 2013 at 10:18 AM (#4620106)
Can't imagine much demand for such a book.


It depends what is in it. How much does Alex know about the MLB's operations? The league operates under an increasingly dense shroud of secrecy even as its coffers overflow with money. Massive wealth + secrecy tends to breed dishonesty if not outright criminality. Who knows what Mr. Rodriguez, a man of great means and some motivation, was able to uncover in his investigations? We know, for example, that Bud Selig, the autocrat who has demanded this ridiculously punitive suspension of Rodriguez, hid the fact that he had accepted secret under-the-table loans from Twins owner Carl Pohlad while he was commissioner of baseball. What other secret arrangements exist between the league office and its favored franchises? Who can say?

If Rodriguez has real dirt, the book will sell. If it's just a typical jock bio, it will be on the best seller list for a few weeks and disappear.
   36. Fist Pumping Maniac Posted: December 18, 2013 at 10:23 AM (#4620111)
#28, what do you think a $5 million offer is, except for the money the publisher will pay ARod upfront. That's called an advance. Look, AR is an unpopular figure. That's one strike against him. Second, sports fans are generally not the ideal demographic for hard-cover reading. There isn't a single athlete on the list you cited. No coincidence.
   37. Randy Jones Posted: December 18, 2013 at 11:15 AM (#4620146)
#28, what do you think a $5 million offer is, except for the money the publisher will pay ARod upfront. That's called an advance. Look, AR is an unpopular figure. That's one strike against him. Second, sports fans are generally not the ideal demographic for hard-cover reading. There isn't a single athlete on the list you cited. No coincidence.

Pretty sure Wayne Rooney would be interested to know that he isn't an athlete.
   38. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: December 18, 2013 at 11:21 AM (#4620148)
Pretty sure Wayne Rooney would be interested to know that he isn't an athlete.


Had no idea who he was till I Googled the name just now.

I'm sure he's very athletic when -- assuming he's a typical soccer player -- he falls to the ground as if shot whenever someone breathes within 10 yards of him.
   39. Shooty Is Disappointed With His Midstream Urine Posted: December 18, 2013 at 11:26 AM (#4620155)
I'm sure this will be a book of a different color.

I'm sure he's very athletic when -- assuming he's a typical soccer player -- he falls to the ground as if shot whenever someone breathes within 10 yards of him.

Hoo boy, gef. Even Johnny Carson thinks this joke is old!
   40. simon bedford Posted: December 18, 2013 at 11:36 AM (#4620163)
I hope A-rod doesnt use a ghost writer, i want to hear the stories straight from the horses mouth
   41. Fist Pumping Maniac Posted: December 18, 2013 at 05:26 PM (#4620452)
#37 You are right, of course. My mistake. I had no idea who Wayne Rooney was/is. But I have a hunch most baseball fans in this country don't know or don't care about Rooney, either. That's who the ARod book would be targeting - the baseball-reading public. My point stands.
   42. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 18, 2013 at 05:45 PM (#4620466)
#28, what do you think a $5 million offer is, except for the money the publisher will pay ARod upfront. That's called an advance.

I think it's a line floated by someone in A-Rod's camp to a prominent gossip column without any corroboration in the middle of a P.R. war, making a claim about interest from an industry where advances can come with strings and asterisks and are often heavily exaggerated to begin with [example: Palin taking a small 90% pay cut from the announced "advance"... did she have to mail the publisher a $9.9 million rebate check?].
   43. Publius Publicola Posted: December 18, 2013 at 05:55 PM (#4620473)
Well, the Clintons certainly won't be hurting for loot anytime soon.
   44. Fist Pumping Maniac Posted: December 18, 2013 at 11:09 PM (#4620635)
#42: 100 percent correct. There's no way a publisher would even consider handing ARod $5 million upfront for a book that won't sell. The figure comes out of thin air from his PR machine.
   45. AndrewJ Posted: December 20, 2013 at 07:25 PM (#4621961)
   46. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 20, 2013 at 08:29 PM (#4621972)
What a tragedy. The burning of the Library of Alexander.
   47. Sunday silence Posted: December 20, 2013 at 09:49 PM (#4622003)
At this point it is painfully obvious that just about anything coming out of the ARod camp is total bull shi! He must have nothing but sycophants and groupies hanging around him. It's funny certainly.
   48. madvillain Posted: December 20, 2013 at 10:17 PM (#4622016)
He must have nothing but sycophants and groupies hanging around him. It's funny certainly.


Along with the 250 or so million he's got in the bank, sounds pretty good. Where do I sign up? In fact, if for some reason my business unexpectedly grows exponentially in the next decade and I'm a multi millionaire many times over by the time I'm 40, if I haven't surrounded myself with groupies and sycophants, please make sure you find some for me.
   49. Sunday silence Posted: December 21, 2013 at 01:07 AM (#4622046)
you know about half of the guys in the NFL wind up broke a few years out of the league. That's what Ive been told and having a bunch of idiots around you probably doesnt hurt that process. I am not saying it's not good to have lots of money, but once you reach a certain level there is something to be said for other things in life.
   50. The Yankee Clapper Posted: December 21, 2013 at 01:21 AM (#4622050)
At this point it is painfully obvious that just about anything coming out of the ARod camp is total bull shi!

Maybe, but as far as this article is concerned, I wouldn't dismiss the possibility that Page Six created the whole story without any A-Rod input.
   51. BFFB Posted: December 21, 2013 at 07:10 AM (#4622066)
Most people I know who own a Wayne Rooney book got it as a Christmas gift from Grandma because "You like the football".

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