As God is my witness, I thought Hessman could hit!!!

Yeah, he's fine with the Crash Davis allusions. He only flips out when people start calling him "Johnny Fever."

Herr Hessman! I used to like him, just cos he looked like he was trying so hard out there, and the name ofcourse!

He is Francoeur with a better glove, more power but less a blog and the "endearing" smile.

he’s proven he can hit home runs

Omar likes Mike Hessman. He can hit home runs for the Bison!

Bored on a Sunday so I looked at his minor league numbers. He was great in '07 and '08, but hit .165(!) in 2006 and still managed to get to 24 HRs and around 400 PAs...crazy bad the year before that too. Some amusing stat lines.

As God is my witness, I thought Hessman could hit!!!

Well, Howard Hesseman could spin the hits-close enough?

he's more the Dave Kingman of the minor leagues, not Crash Davis

lifetime: 229/312/454 in over 6000 PAs

So who holds the record for most minor-league home runs without EVER playing a game in the majors?

I have no idea what the answer to that is. The first two places I'd think of looking:

1. The PCL of the 20's and 30's, with their long seasons and tendency to retain stars. Of course some of their legends, like O'Doul, did appear in the majors at least some.

2. A mostly low-minors player with a 40's-50's centered career who happened to hit some of the high-offense leagues in the Southwest.

if you RTFA it says:

For as many homers Hessman has hit in the minors, he's not close to the all-time record, which is held by Hector Espino, a superstar in the Mexican League beginning the 1960s. Espino, dubbed "The Babe Ruth of Mexico," hit 484 homers, said Steve Densa, the director of media relations for Minor League Baseball.

so thats the answer, if you count the Meskin league as a true minor league

If you're looking for guys in the contemporary minors—totally affiliated, etc.—the first guy who came to mind was notorious MiLB hacker Rob Stratton, who hit 200 or so without spending a day on a Major League roster and retired in 2006. But looking through this year's PCL players I found Mitch Jones, who has 235 and didn't hit a home run in his first MLB call-up (15 PA) in 2009.

I'm still bitter about the Mets not giving Val Pascucci a shot.

He has a 1.090 OPS in the majors in September and October, so obviously that's the time you want to use him.

By mediot logic he is one of the greatest clutch hitters ever.

And I hear David Wright sucks in September, so you could just replace Wright with Hessman at 3B down the stretch. The problem basically solves itself.

I found Bull Durham to be enjoyable, but I always felt its most unrealistic aspect was the idea that nobody but Susan Sarandon would know that Crash Davis set the MiLB record for homers. What, did he play half his career under a fake name or something?

the first guy who came to mind was notorious MiLB hacker Rob Stratton

How Stratton managed to avoid being called up by the Reds in 2004 is a mystery that will likely never be answered.

I'm still bitter about the Mets not giving Val Pascucci a shot.

As a Red Sox fan, for me it's Dwayne Hosey.

There were some other guys around that time period -- Arquimedez Pozo, Rudy Pemberton, Patrick Lennon, Juan Pena -- that I'd like to have seen get a better shot. Though I guess Pena got hurt.

There was also a big IL slugger they acquired... forget his name now... he got a few scattered PAs but nothing more.

Mike Hessman is like, 9 feet tall. He's like Jon Koncack standing in the box. When he got called up to replace Adam LaRoche you could see the eyes of ML pitchers light up at the sheer immensity of the boy's zone. He also couldn't hit a curveball if his life depended on it. But if you throw a straight ball somewhere in the vicinity of the plate, he can hit it a mile.

Ah hell no. HELL no. I still haven't been able to get 2006 out of my head.*


*In-joke to International League Baseball

If you're reading this, you've probably already seen this rant before, but...

Hessman could have contributed a *bit* in the majors at peak (this came well after his peak as a prospect) - he was an excellent defensive third baseman who drew some walks to go with the raft of k's and, in a pinch, could play all around the diamond (even played all 9 spots in a game last year). Yes, he'd struggle to hit .230, but with the accompanying power and other stuff, he's potentially useful.
I say this despite despising him as a Brave, his original org.

And yes, he was awful in '06, but followed it up with an IL MVP and then a season that was far better than that.

Here's his ZiPS MLEs, '02-'08:
02 .249/.306/.467
03 .242/.290/.440
04 .261/.337/.511
05 .214/.292/.382
06 .220/.295/.451 <--- yes, I take issue w/ this (#s are too high) ... but I've already had that conversation w/ Dan.
07 .248/.331/.511
08 .263/.350/.572

Morgan Burkhart is the IL slugger I was thinking of.

He has three 100-game stints in the minors with a batting average at or under .200. During his braves stint, he looked like he absolutely did not belong on the major league field.

He basically strikes out once out of every 3 at bats, 3 times more K's than walks. He must be some kinda hacker.

Hessman isn't even that undisciplined. He just really, truly can not hit for any type of contact. He could make a run for that minor league home run record though. He'll only be 32 this season, and Buffalo is a great home run environment.

All these years working in the business, and what does he want?

Free coffee.

I thought of Rick Lancelotti, because way back in the day that I used to buy The Sporting News every now and the he always seemd to lead the minors in HRs, just 276 for his career though

Ah, yes, Rick Lancellotti. I was trying to think of him earlier since I remembered him in Pawtucket when I was in high school -- but instead I came up with Steve Lombardozzi, who, when I checked, didn't fit.

(Incidentally, not that I can complain about b-r, but a search for "Rick Lancelotti" instead of "Rick Lancellotti" couldn't bring me to the promised land? That search feature leaves a bit to be desired.)

Hessman almost forgot, fellow babies: Hoooommmmmeeeerrrrrr.

What kind of salary does this guy make?

Morgan Burkhart is the IL slugger I was thinking of.

I was going to guess Izzy Alcantara, but he was a couple years later.

No idea if anyone caught this, but yeeesh:

The Truth About J.J. Putz

“When the trade went down last year, I never really had a physical with the Mets,” said Putz. “I had the bone spur (in the right elbow). It was discovered the previous year in Seattle, and it never got checked out by any other doctors until I got to spring training, and the spring training physical is kind of a formality. It was bugging me all through April, and in May I got an injection. It just got to the point where I couldn’t pitch. I couldn’t throw strikes, my velocity was way down.”

That Putz information sounds about right. His bone spur problems were even a matter of public record for a few weeks last year before they finally shut him down. I was going nuts about it.

During his braves stint, he looked like he absolutely did not belong on the major league field.
No disagreement there (didn't help that we were using him at first). My contention is that he was figuring it out right as he was leaving our system.

Hessman isn't even that undisciplined. He just really, truly can not hit for any type of contact.
Yup. Despite this, I contend he could have been useful - I know, I know...

Hosey ... Arquimedez Pozo, Rudy Pemberton, Patrick Lennon, Juan Pena ... Burkhart.
Yeah, the internet loved most of those guys. I'm convinced Hosey, for one, could have made it, same for Lennon.

The PCL of the 20's and 30's, with their long seasons and tendency to retain stars

Along those lines, Irvin Hufft, a PCL slugger of the late 1920s, hit 237 minor-league HRs without ever playing in the majors. Ted Norbert, a little younger, hit 313 but stayed in the PCL throughout WW2, never reaching the majors. Those are the top two careers I found after a few minutes of mindless surfing; there are probably better ones.

This guy's mistake was not having an absolutely sick first 150 ABs in the majors. If he had done that, I'm pretty sure he could have had Jeff Francoeur's career.

Juan Pena

Hurt his elbow and was never the same.

No idea if anyone caught this, but yeeesh:

The Truth About J.J. Putz

I did catch that elsewhere. Adding up his 2009 salary, the $1m buyout, and the five players the Mets gave up for him, what's the tab for the negative value received from Putz during 2009--around $20m? If it's the case, as it seems, that the Mets FO didn't do the most elementary due diligence, how do the Wilpons justify keeping Omar around even if it means eating his salary for the next two years? It has to be cost effective to can him.

As for Putz, I imagine if the Mets had handled his injury with diligence and grace he might very well have been glad to come back in 2010 for the $3m he got from the White Sox. When healthy Putz is a helluva pitcher.