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Friday, April 26, 2019

Angry Mets fan threatens family, drops his pants

There are some Philly fans out there who claim that the national media has it in for Philly sports fans. They say we unfairly stereotype Philly fans because of a couple of historical outlier situations that misrepresent an entire city and a fan base. They say we only highlight crazy and/or illegal and/or violent and/or obnoxious fan behavior when it happens in Philly and ignore it elsewhere.

That’s not true! We’re committed to highlighting crazy and/or illegal and/or violent and/or obnoxious fan behavior wherever it occurs! That is our promise to you.

For example, this happened during the Mets game at Citi Field on Tuesday night. Via the Daily News:

An unruly fan at Citi Field ruined a night out at the ballpark for a young family when he threatened the father and then exposed himself in front of the man’s kids, police said Thursday . . . “I will f–k up your entire family!” he allegedly yelled, then dropped his pants, exposing his genitals.

A joy of living in a city with a minor-league baseball team: no one gets invested enough to feel like they could get away with this nonsense.

 

QLE Posted: April 26, 2019 at 05:46 AM | 66 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: fans, mets

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 05:59 AM (#5835547)
Oh ####, they got me on camera?

Those kids were asking for it.
   2. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: April 26, 2019 at 09:01 AM (#5835568)
Might alcohol have been involved? Authorities, what say you?
   3. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:12 AM (#5835582)
An unruly fan at Citi Field ruined a night out at the ballpark for a young family when he threatened the father and then exposed himself in front of the man’s kids, police said Thursday . . . “I will f–k up your entire family!” he allegedly yelled, then dropped his pants, exposing his genitals.

Since when is drooping your pants part of threatening somebody? Seems like exposing your genitals is a very dumb thing if a fight is in the offing.

The mom should've kicked the ####### in the balls. No jury in the world convicts her of anything.
   4. PreservedFish Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:20 AM (#5835584)
   5. PreservedFish Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:21 AM (#5835585)
Since when is drooping your pants part of threatening somebody?


How else do you establish dominance?
   6. Itchy Row Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:22 AM (#5835586)
Wait- a Mets fan was wearing pants?
   7. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt! Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:26 AM (#5835588)
MEET MY MET, GREET MY MET YOU #############!
   8. Benji Gil Gamesh VII - The Opt-Out Awakens Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:28 AM (#5835589)
He didn't self-immolate? Weak.
   9. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:28 AM (#5835590)
That's my ####### ###, #####!

So bizarre.

I don't find it remotely threatening to have a decent looking woman flash me. YMMV.
   10. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:28 AM (#5835591)

When I saw the headline, I just assumed that he was threatening his own family, who were attempting an intervention over his Mets fandom.
   11. puck Posted: April 26, 2019 at 10:33 AM (#5835594)
I wonder if dropping his pants in front of children is going to get him subjected to some sort of kid-related sex charge.
   12. Red Voodooin Posted: April 26, 2019 at 12:04 PM (#5835624)
Since when is drooping your pants part of threatening somebody? Seems like exposing your genitals is a very dumb thing if a fight is in the offing.


OPTION J!
   13. Dog on the sidewalk has an ugly bracelet Posted: April 26, 2019 at 12:08 PM (#5835626)
I have never even once dropped my pants in anger. I don't get it.

Of course, I've also never threatened to beat up an entire family (I usually just focus on the smallest and weakest looking member), so perhaps this gentleman and I approach things from a different perspective.

Regardless, go Mets!
   14. bobm Posted: April 26, 2019 at 12:34 PM (#5835632)
This is what happens when you sell cheap standing-room-only tickets to Citi Field. I blame this latest promotion: https://www.mlb.com/mets/tickets/specials/amazin-mets-pass

Compared to a standing fan, all other things being equal, a seated fan would have less inclination to drop his pants, being seated and all.
   15. Zonk is not as Outlandish as he could be Posted: April 26, 2019 at 12:40 PM (#5835635)
....and that was the last old timers game Len Dykstra would ever be invited to.
   16. Spahn Insane Posted: April 26, 2019 at 01:15 PM (#5835652)
Since when is drooping [sic] your pants part of threatening somebody?

I dunno, ask any number of sexual assault survivors. (Yes, I realize that wasn't the case here, though as puck notes in 11, exposing your junk in public to children might still be a sex crime of some sort. I'm just saying.)

EDIT: In light of 9, assuming that post was meant as a serious rebuttal, I'm probably wasting my time. Christ.
   17. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 01:22 PM (#5835659)
EDIT: In light of 9, assuming that post was meant as a serious rebuttal, I'm probably wasting my time. Christ.

I'm simply saying these "threateners" are doing so in an absolutely bizarre and illogical way.

If you want to beat up a family (ignoring how reprehensible that is), or make them think you will, dropping your pants is not furthering your goals. Likewise, if you want to threaten or scare off an unruly customers, flashing your boob at them, doesn't seem to achieve anything.
   18. Spahn Insane Posted: April 26, 2019 at 01:27 PM (#5835660)
If you want to beat up a family (ignoring how reprehensible that is), or make them think you will, dropping your pants is not furthering your goals. Likewise, if you want to threaten or scare off an unruly customers, flashing your boob at them, doesn't seem to achieve anything.

Well, he threatened to \"#### up" his family, which I suppose is open to interpretation as to intended result, which intention is further muddied by his dropping trou. In any case, let's not pretend his actions were victimless (or that we should assume those who would drop trou in a fairly full ballpark as an act of aggression are acting rationally to begin with).
   19. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 01:34 PM (#5835663)
Well, he threatened to \"#### up" his family, which I suppose is open to interpretation as to intended result, which intention is further muddied by his dropping trou. In any case, let's not pretend his actions were victimless (or that we should assume those who would drop trou in a fairly full ballpark as an act of aggression are acting rationally to begin with).

Oh no. He victimized everyone forced to see his genitals, and should be arrested for indecent exposure.

I guess I'm focusing too much on the irrationality of a couple of nutcases.
   20. PreservedFish Posted: April 26, 2019 at 01:36 PM (#5835664)
Obviously these people had gone berserk and were not thinking logically, and I suspect that the furious baring of sexual organs as intimidation must reach back to some deep animal instinct. Humans do have the largest penises of the hominoids (but smaller balls), perhaps Australopithecus would solve tribal disputes with junk dangling contests. Whatever the motivation, the behavior would certainly make me less likely to engage, physically or otherwise, and to me seems to accomplish its aim.
   21. Cris E Posted: April 26, 2019 at 01:42 PM (#5835668)
It does act as an indicator of a certain amount of mental instability, which most people are wary of. Sort of a "If you don't think I won't act in a self-destructive, futile manner just watch this." (The "hold my beer" part is implied.)
   22. The Yankee Clapper Posted: April 26, 2019 at 01:47 PM (#5835671)
The original NY Daily News article included the important information that Calcaterra was too lazy to mention:
The incident happened in the ninth inning of the Mets’ 9-0 victory over the Phillies Tuesday night, when 20-year-old Richard Patrylo asked the father if he could use his phone, cops said. The dad, 39, who was watching the game with his wife, 12-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter, said no — at which point the suspect lashed out, police said. “I will f--k up your entire family!” he allegedly yelled, then dropped his pants, exposing his genitals.

The son taped the encounter with his own phone, according to cops. Patrylo had been drinking at the game, police sources said. Patrylo, of Inwood, L.I., was charged with acting in a manner injurious to a child and public lewdness. He was given a desk appearance ticket and released.

Looks like alcohol was involved. Imagine that. Just getting a desk ticket seems a bit light, but apparently that’s how they do things in NYC now.
   23. Hank Gillette Posted: April 26, 2019 at 02:19 PM (#5835684)
The original NY Daily News article included:
Patrylo, of Inwood, L.I., was charged with acting in a manner injurious to a child and public lewdness. He was given a desk appearance ticket and released.


IANAL, but “acting in a manner injurious to a child” is a Class A Misdemeanor in New York, punishable by up to one year in jail. “Public lewdness” is a Class B Misdemeanor, punishable by up to three months in jail. Apparently, showing your junk in public (“public lewdness”) is considered more serious if you show it to a child.

He seems to have gotten a freebie on the threat.
   24. Howie Menckel Posted: April 26, 2019 at 02:20 PM (#5835685)
he's under 21, so surely he just had too much Pepsi
   25. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 02:24 PM (#5835688)
Obviously these people had gone berserk and were not thinking logically, and I suspect that the furious baring of sexual organs as intimidation must reach back to some deep animal instinct. Humans do have the largest penises of the hominoids (but smaller balls), perhaps Australopithecus would solve tribal disputes with junk dangling contests. Whatever the motivation, the behavior would certainly make me less likely to engage, physically or otherwise, and to me seems to accomplish its aim.

Well, maybe. If he wants to actually fight you, dropping his pants makes it way easier for you to run away. If an actual fight occurs, he's left himself hugely vulnerable to you grabbing his nuts and ending the fight by inflicting a disabling and catastrophic injury to him.

It's like in Hollywood medieval or ancient world flicks, where the hero and villain each take off their helmet for the final sword fight. It's supposed to make them look bad ass, and might well indicate mental instability if someone did that IRL. But, in an actual sword fight, your opponent would be way less scared of you after you took your helmet off, because, even if you're insane, he's pretty sure he's going to kill you and win.
   26. Srul Itza Posted: April 26, 2019 at 03:12 PM (#5835708)
in an actual sword fight, your opponent would be way less scared of you after you took your helmet off, because, even if you're insane, he's pretty sure he's going to kill you and win.


Ser Bronn of the Blackwater disagrees.

   27. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: April 26, 2019 at 03:27 PM (#5835711)
he's under 21, so surely he just had too much Pepsi
Or coffee. Maybe he felt they were threatening him, and he dropped his pants to show that he needed TP for his bunghole.

Yep, that's right. Beavis & Butthead thread crossover!
   28. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 03:37 PM (#5835712)
This whole thread is making me want to whip my dick out and show you all who's boss.
   29. Barry`s_Lazy_Boy Posted: April 26, 2019 at 03:41 PM (#5835714)
It's like in Hollywood medieval or ancient world flicks, where the hero and villain each take off their helmet for the final sword fight. It's supposed to make them look bad ass, and might well indicate mental instability if someone did that IRL.

One day in high school football practice, two teammates got in a fight. One guy ripped his own helmet off.

Afterwards, one of the coaches told the team that if you ever get in a fight on the football field, leave your helmet on.
   30. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 03:47 PM (#5835717)

Yeah, I've been threatened by pedestrians a few times while riding my bike in Manhattan. I always just ignore them and keep riding, because you never know who might be carrying a weapon or whatever, but my general reaction has been amusement. Like, I'm wearing a helmet and you're not. Do you really want to start a fight with me?
   31. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 04:04 PM (#5835724)

Afterwards, one of the coaches told the team that if you ever get in a fight on the football field, leave your helmet on.


Ha. Important safety tip: never remove armor before a fight.
   32. PreservedFish Posted: April 26, 2019 at 04:07 PM (#5835725)
I'll take the guy with big nuts over a helmeted snapper in a fight.
   33. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 04:24 PM (#5835727)
I'll take the guy with big nuts over a helmeted snapper in a fight.

Can I bring a sword? I mean, if I have enough notice to get a helmet, I'm definitely bringing a weapon.
   34. PreservedFish Posted: April 26, 2019 at 04:38 PM (#5835728)
No you can't have a sword. And it's a bike helmet.
   35. Hysterical & Useless Posted: April 26, 2019 at 05:09 PM (#5835731)
One day in high school football practice, two teammates got in a fight. One guy ripped his own helmet off.

Afterwards, one of the coaches told the team that if you ever get in a fight on the football field, leave your helmet on.


And people think football players are "dumb jocks."
   36. It's regretful that PASTE was able to get out Posted: April 26, 2019 at 05:21 PM (#5835733)
He's Donald Ducking it, bra! It's classic!
   37. BillWallace Posted: April 26, 2019 at 06:41 PM (#5835745)
Just getting a desk ticket seems a bit light


Initially I thought this seemed light, but looking up DAT and as Hank mentioned it being a Class A misdemeanor, this isn't exactly a slap on the wrist right? Maybe moving into lawyer territory, though I'm not knowledgeable at all about these things.
   38. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 26, 2019 at 09:02 PM (#5835775)
No you can't have a sword. And it's a bike helmet.

I don't ride bikes.
   39. PreservedFish Posted: April 26, 2019 at 09:19 PM (#5835780)
Are you telling me you're more likely to have access to some Game of Thrones style helmet than you are a bike helmet? Man the junk dangler is gonna whoop your ass.
   40. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 27, 2019 at 11:31 AM (#5835869)
Are you telling me you're more likely to have access to some Game of Thrones style helmet than you are a bike helmet? Man the junk dangler is gonna whoop your ass.

I've never ridden a bicycle in my life. I do own 2 swords, and other "stuff". No helmet though.
   41. SoSH U at work Posted: April 27, 2019 at 12:02 PM (#5835876)
I'm not sure what helmeted snapper is a euphemism for, and I don't think I want to know.
   42. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: April 27, 2019 at 12:30 PM (#5835880)
I've never ridden a bicycle in my life.
I can’t tell if I’m surprised by this or not.
   43. jacksone (AKA It's OK...) Posted: April 27, 2019 at 03:59 PM (#5835913)
I've never ridden a bicycle in my life.


I can’t tell if I’m surprised by this or not.


Absolutely not.
   44. Dog on the sidewalk has an ugly bracelet Posted: April 27, 2019 at 05:30 PM (#5835937)
I'm pretty sure he came out of the womb a 65-year-old man.
   45. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 27, 2019 at 05:42 PM (#5835942)
I'm pretty sure he came out of the womb a 65-year-old man.

I'd say 40. It's true that being a child never interested me much.
   46. PreservedFish Posted: April 27, 2019 at 06:08 PM (#5835945)
Except for the sword collection.
   47. Omineca Greg Posted: April 27, 2019 at 06:17 PM (#5835946)
Dearest, note how these two are alike:
This harpsicord pavane by Purcell
And the racer's twelve-speed bike.


The machinery of grace is always simple.

This chrome trapezoid, one wheel connected
To another of concentric gears,
Which Ptolemy dreamt of and Schwinn perfected,
Is gone.
The cyclist, not the cycle, steers.

And in the playing, Purcell's chords are played away.


So this talk, or touch if I were there,
Should work its effortless gadgetry of love,
Like Dante's heaven, and melt into the air.


If it doesn't, of course, I've fallen.
So much is chance,
So much agility, desire, and feverish care,
As bicyclists and harpsicordists prove

Who only by moving can balance,
Only by balancing move.

Michael Donaghy


[Looks up from computer, turns head to side...blinks...gives thanks I live in a world that people can write that way]
   48. Barry`s_Lazy_Boy Posted: April 27, 2019 at 06:23 PM (#5835947)
I've never ridden a bicycle in my life. I do own 2 swords

Least surprising thing I've read all day.

   49. Lassus Posted: April 27, 2019 at 07:02 PM (#5835952)
#46 is perfect, and any memtion of Purcell is a bonus.
   50. I Knew A Guy Who Knew A Guy Who Knew Rey Ordonez Posted: April 27, 2019 at 10:24 PM (#5835990)
I'm sorry I thought this was America.
   51. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: April 27, 2019 at 10:35 PM (#5835995)
Except for the sword collection.

Souvenirs of my trip to Scotland. You can get hand forged swords very reasonably priced.

Though my collecting in general tends toward more modern weapons.
   52. Omineca Greg Posted: April 27, 2019 at 10:48 PM (#5835999)
Souvenirs of my trip to Scotland. You can get hand forged swords very reasonably priced.


Not what I heard...

A holiday, a holiday
And the first one of the year
Lord Donald's wife came into the church
The Gospel for to hear

And when the meeting it was done
She cast her eyes about
And there she saw little Matty Groves
Walking in the crowd

"Come home with me, little Matty Groves
Come home with me tonight
Come home with me, little Matty Groves
And sleep with me 'til light"

"Oh, I can't come home, I won't come home
And sleep with you tonight
By the rings on your fingers
I can tell you are Lord Donald's wife"

"But if I am Lord Donald's wife
Lord Donald's not at home
He is out in the far cornfields
Bringing the yearlings home"

And a servant who was standing by
And hearing what was said
He swore Lord Donald he would know
Before the sun would set

And in his hurry to carry the news
He bent his breast and ran
And when he came to the broad mill stream
He took off his shoes and he swam

Little Matty Groves, he lay down
And took a little sleep
When he awoke, Lord Donald
Was standing at his feet

Saying, "How do you like my feather bed
And how do you like my sheets
How do you like my lady
Who lies in your arms asleep?"

"Oh, well, I like your feather bed
And well, I like your sheets
But better I like your lady gay
Who lies in my arms asleep"

"Well, get up, get up", Lord Donald cried
"Get up as quick as you can
It'll never be said in fair England
I slew a naked man"

"Oh, I can't get up, I won't get up
I can't get up for my life
For you have two long beaten swords
And I not a pocket knife"

"Well, it's true I have two beaten swords
And they cost me deep in the purse

But you will have the better of them
And I will have the worse"

"And you will strike the very first blow
And strike it like a man
I will strike the very next blow
And I'll kill you if I can"

So Matty struck the very first blow
And he hurt Lord Donald sore
Lord Donald struck the very next blow
And Matty struck no more

And then Lord Donald he took his wife
And he sat her on his knee
Saying, "Who do you like the best of us
Matty Groves or me?"

And then up spoke his own dear wife
Never heard to speak so free
"I'd rather a kiss from dead Matty's lips
Than you or your finery"

Lord Donald, he jumped up
And loudly he did bawl
He struck his wife right through the heart
And pinned her against the wall

"A grave, a grave", Lord Donald cried
"To put these lovers in
But bury my lady at the top
For she was of noble kin"

Traditional
   53. PreservedFish Posted: April 27, 2019 at 11:03 PM (#5836001)
You can get hand forged swords very reasonably priced.


I'm more of a plowshares guy, actually.
   54. Lassus Posted: April 28, 2019 at 05:03 AM (#5836020)
For more on OG's ballad:

Matty Groves
"Matty Groves" is a Border ballad probably originating in Northern England that describes an adulterous tryst between a man and a woman that is ended when the woman's husband discovers and kills them. This song exists in many textual variants and has several variant names. The song dates to at least the 17th century, and under the title Little Musgrave and Lady Barnard is one of the Child Ballads collected by 19th-century American scholar Francis James Child.


Which I am aware of as I have sung one of the many variants - The Ballad of Little Musgrave and Lady Barnard - by Benjamin Britten. This is one of my favorite pieces of all time, and I intend to have it sung during my funeral mass (not that I would request a Mass, but best to give my Catholics family what they want. I'd implore anyone with a love of narrative and composition properly enabling that narrative to give it a listen.

As it fell on one holyday,
As many be in the year,
When young men and maids together did go
Their matins and mass to hear,
Their matins and mass to hear,

Little Musgrave came to the church door –
The priest was at private mass –
But he had more mind of the fair women
Than he had of Our Lady's grace.
Than he had of Our Lady's grace.

The one of them was clad in green
Another was clad in pall,
And then came in my Lord Barnard's wife,
The fairest amongst them all,
The fairest amongst them all,

Quoth she, "I've loved thee, Little Musgrave,
Full long and many a day".
"So have I lov'd you, my fair ladye,
Yet never a word durst I say".

"But I have a bower at Bucklesfordberry,
Full daintily it is dight,
If thou'lt wend thither, thou Little Musgrave,
Thou's lig in my arms all night."

("Yet never a word.
Never a word.
Never a word.")

With that beheard a little tiny page,
By his lady's coach as he ran.
Says, "Although I am my lady's foot-page,
Yet I am Lord Barnard's man!"

Then he's cast off his hose and cast off his shoon,
Set down his feet and ran,
And where the bridges were broken down
He bent he bow and swam.

"Awake! awake! thou Lord Barnard,
As thou art a man of life!
Little Musgrave is at Bucklesfordberry
Along with thine own wedded wife".

He called up his merry men all:
"Come saddle me my steed;
This night must I to Bucklesfordberry,
F'r I never had greater need.
I never had greater need."

But some they whistled, and some they sang,
And some they thus could say,
Whenever Lord Barnard's horn it blew,
It blew:
"Away, Musgrave, away!"

"Methinks I hear the threstlecock,
Methinks I hear the jay;
Methinks I hear Lord Barnard's horn,
Away Musgrave! Away!"

"Lie still, lie still, thou little Musgrave,
And huggle me from the cold;
'Tis nothing but a shepherd's boy
A-driving his sheep to the fold.

"By this, Lord Barnard came to his door
And lighted a stone upon;
And he's pull'd out three silver keys,
And open'd the doors each one.

He lifted up the coverlet,
He lifted up the sheet:

"Arise, arise, thou Little Musgrave,
And put thy clothes on;
It shall ne'er be said in my country
I've killed a naked man.

I have two swords in one scabbard,
They are both sharp and clear;
Take you the best, and I the worst,
We'll end the matter here.
We'll end the matter here."

"The first stroke Little Musgrave struck
He hurt Lord Barnard sore;
The next stroke that Lord Barnard struck, he struck.

Little Musgrave ne'er struck more.
Little Musgrave ne'er struck more.
Little Musgrave ne'er more.

"Woe worth you, my merry men all,
You were ne'er born for my good!
Why did you not offer to stay my hand
When you saw me wax so wood?

For I've slain also the fairest ladye
Soe I have slain the fairest ladye
That ever did woman's deed.
That ever did deed.

A grave, " Lord Barnard cried, "To put these lovers in!
But lay my lady on the upper hand,
For she comes of the nobler kin.
For she comes of the nobler kin."
   55. Omineca Greg Posted: April 28, 2019 at 10:32 AM (#5836046)
That was fan-#######-tastic! Thanks, I'd never heard that before.

After checking that out, I've been listening to War Requiem all morning, which I haven't heard in awhile. What a blessing to have people among us who can write that, perform that. The link is a wonderfully curated overview of the work. If anyone here has never heard it, well, it takes some commitment, both in time and effort, but I think most people would really get something out of it.

So, I don't even know how to follow that up. Those Child Ballads are very sturdy pieces of music, they can survive all sorts of interpretations, so let's do a stripped down one, just for contrast. This is probably one of the more well known ones, Barbara Allen. Lots of good versions out there, Bob Dylan does it on the Live at the Gaslight 1962, that whole thing is worth hearing, just for a reminder of how Dylan owed so much to the early 60s folk scene. Joan Baez does a great version on her second album, Joan Baez, Vol. 2. from '61, and Shirley Collins does a good one, more English obviously, on her first album. People said all sorts of mean things about that album, and her, but I like it. She was ####### Alan Lomax at the time (1959), so I think that had something to do with it.

Anyway, I'll stop digressing so everybody can get back to the timeless topic of the best way to deal with ballpark genitalia. But here's Jean Ritchie, singing Barbry Allen...from 1961.

All in the merry month of May
When the green buds they were swellin'
Young William Green on his death bed lay
For the love of Barbry Ellen

He sent his servant to the town
To the place where she was dwellin'
Saying "Master's sick and he send for you,
If your name be Barbry Ellen."

So slowly, slowly she got up
And slowly she came a' nigh him
And all she said when she got there
Young man I believe you're dyin'

Oh yes I'm low, I'm very low
And death is on me dwellin'
No better, no better I never will be
If I can't get Barbry Ellen

Oh yes you're low, and very low
And death is on you dwellin'
No better, no better you'll never be
For you can't get Barbry Ellen

For don't you remember in yonder stand
In yonder stand a' drinkin'
You passed your glass all around and around
And you slighted Barbry Ellen

Oh yes I remember in yonder stand
In yonder stand a drinkin'
I gave my health to the ladies all around
But not to Barbry Ellen

He turned his pale face to the wall
For death was on him dwellin'
Adieu, adieu, you good neighbors all
Adieu sweet Barbry Ellen

As she was goin' across the fields
She heard those death bells a' knellin'
And ev'ry stroke the death bell give
Hard-hearted Barbry Ellen

Oh Mother, oh Mother, go make my bed
Go make it both long and narrow
Young William's died for me today
And I'll die for him tomorrow

Oh she was buried 'neath the old church tower
And he was buried all nigh her
And out of his bosom grew a red, red rose
Out of Barbry's grew a green briar

They grew and they grew up the old church tower
Until they could grow no higher
They locked in tight in a true lover's not
Red rose around the green briar

Traditional
   56. Itchy Row Posted: April 28, 2019 at 03:31 PM (#5836128)
This whole thread is making me want to whip my dick out and show you all who's boss.
It’s easier just to point at the boss with your finger.
   57. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: April 28, 2019 at 09:02 PM (#5836195)
“I will f–k up your entire family!” he allegedly yelled, then dropped his pants, exposing his genitals.


Meet the Meat.


NY Daily News: The incident happened in the ninth inning of the Mets’ 9-0 victory over the Phillies Tuesday night, when 20-year-old Richard Patrylo...


How can a tabloid newspaper possibly call this guy "Richard"?
   58. Bote Man Posted: April 28, 2019 at 09:54 PM (#5836204)
Do you recall the nickname for Richard Stabone on Growing Pains??
   59. TJ Posted: April 29, 2019 at 10:52 AM (#5836302)
This is the perfect excuse for the Mets to call up .150-hitting Tim Tebow to save their crowd from their wicked ways...
   60. ajnrules Posted: April 29, 2019 at 11:21 AM (#5836323)
60 replies and no Steve Lyons reference?
   61. Hot Wheeling American Posted: April 29, 2019 at 11:30 AM (#5836328)
60 replies and no Steve Lyons smitty reference?
   62. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: April 29, 2019 at 12:36 PM (#5836363)
60 replies and no Steve Lyons smitty David Cone reference?
   63. akrasian Posted: April 29, 2019 at 04:23 PM (#5836459)
This is the perfect excuse for the Mets to call up .150-hitting Tim Tebow to save their crowd from their wicked ways...

I thought the .150 reference was a joke so I looked it up. Tebow really has been horrible all around. Small sample, but no power, the okay walk rate outweighed by striking out 4 times for every walk, and defensive stats are underwhelming, to say the least. Is he blocking anybody who might actually merit playing time?
   64. Hysterical & Useless Posted: April 29, 2019 at 04:35 PM (#5836468)
Is he blocking anybody who might actually merit playing time


He's a quarterback, why would they risk him blocking anybody?

   65. Smitty* Posted: April 29, 2019 at 07:36 PM (#5836523)
My quarrel is with pants, not Mets fans and their families
   66. Hot Wheeling American Posted: April 30, 2019 at 09:19 AM (#5836653)
Right, but if Dick Patrylo hadn't been wearing pants, he wouldn't have anything to drop. Just one of those avoidable situations of a bad guy with a pair of pants.

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