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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

AP: Mariners’ Bedard scratched with sore buttocks

PEORIA, Ariz. (AP)—Seattle Mariners left-hander Erik Bedard was scratched from his scheduled start against Kansas City on Wednesday because of a sore butt.

Thanks to Jon Weisman from Dodger Thoughts for the link.

Tripon Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:15 PM | 41 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: baseball geeks, history, mariners, special topics

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   1. Best Regards, President of Comfort, Esq. Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:31 PM (#3100439)
Well, maybe if he stopped scratching them they'd be less sore.
   2. DKDC Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:32 PM (#3100440)
Who/What did Bedard scratch with his sore buttocks?
   3. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:33 PM (#3100441)
A needle, containing steroids.
   4. Greasy Neale Heaton (Dan Lee) Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:35 PM (#3100445)
I think you're reading it wrong, DKDC. He was scratched with sore buttocks, which...barring Cirque de Soleil-esque flexibility on Bedard's part...pretty much had to belong to someone else.
   5. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:39 PM (#3100455)
That's how they vaccinated people against buttockpox, in the days before sterilized needles.
   6. robinred Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:43 PM (#3100463)
Next time I have an itch, I am going to ask my gf to scratch me with her buttocks.
   7. Best Regards, President of Comfort, Esq. Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:45 PM (#3100465)
Next time I have an itch, I am going to ask my gf to scratch me with her buttocks.
Make sure you get them sore, first.
   8. Juan V Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:50 PM (#3100473)
See you in 2011, Erik
   9. Tripon Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:52 PM (#3100475)
I don't think his ass is so bad that he can't pitch until 2011.
   10. birdlives is one crazy ninja Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:52 PM (#3100476)
That's TWO threads, TWO, about buttocks in one day.
   11. Bernal Diaz has an angel on his shoulder Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:53 PM (#3100478)
Dear Erik,

Take the plunger out of the toilet before sitting down.

Hugs and kisses,

BD
   12. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:55 PM (#3100479)
I don't think his ass is so bad that he can't pitch until 2011.

But does he have a bad enough ass to rescue the president?
   13. Halofan Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:55 PM (#3100480)
Folks, can we just turn the other cheek?
   14. phredbird Posted: March 11, 2009 at 10:58 PM (#3100485)
(p)ass
   15. The George Sherrill Selection Posted: March 11, 2009 at 11:21 PM (#3100513)
Perhaps it's time to bring back my old "Pat Gillick's Hemorrhoids" moniker.
   16. JRVJ (formerly Delta Socrates) Posted: March 11, 2009 at 11:25 PM (#3100517)
When did Carl Pavano move to Seattle?
   17. Gamingboy Posted: March 11, 2009 at 11:27 PM (#3100518)
This hasn't been a good spring for Canada, has it?
   18. flournoy Posted: March 11, 2009 at 11:34 PM (#3100524)
When asked about his injury, Bedard had some stupid answer, some dumbass answer.
   19. Dan Evensen Posted: March 11, 2009 at 11:37 PM (#3100530)
That's what the Mariners get for trying to butt their way into the playoffs.
   20. MSalfino Posted: March 12, 2009 at 12:20 AM (#3100568)
Assman.
   21. Freeballin' (Tales of Met Power) Posted: March 12, 2009 at 12:46 AM (#3100601)
Paging Mike Piazza. Will Mr. Piazza please pick up a house phone.
   22. Dan Evensen Posted: March 12, 2009 at 01:34 AM (#3100645)
We should go back to old Primer for this thread. I want to see the return of Rear Admiral Ackbar.
   23. galaxieboi Posted: March 12, 2009 at 01:35 AM (#3100647)
Whatever. At least his ass can't tear it's labrum, or something.
   24. zonk Posted: March 12, 2009 at 01:39 AM (#3100652)
We should go back to old Primer for this thread. I want to see the return of Rear Admiral Ackbar.


It's the crap?
   25. Exploring Leftist Conservatism since 2008 (ark..) Posted: March 12, 2009 at 01:41 AM (#3100658)
It's a private matter. Butt out, guys.
   26. zonk Posted: March 12, 2009 at 01:43 AM (#3100662)
Assman.


Fusilli Erik?
   27. Infinite Joost (Voxter) Posted: March 12, 2009 at 01:54 AM (#3100680)
This is fantasstic.
   28. Stevis Posted: March 12, 2009 at 02:06 AM (#3100685)
Geez, guys, you missed the most sophomoric line:

He had some stiffness in there about four days ago,


Not that there's anything wrong with that.
   29. Jim (jimmuscomp) Posted: March 12, 2009 at 02:45 AM (#3100721)
What a jewel of a thread...

Thanks to one an all...
   30. nick swisher hygiene Posted: March 12, 2009 at 02:49 AM (#3100723)
Ass not what BTF can do for you, ass what you can do for BTF!
   31. Willie Mayspedes Posted: March 12, 2009 at 02:57 AM (#3100733)
Oh, yes sir. Bit me right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.
   32. The Most Interesting Man In The World Posted: March 12, 2009 at 04:30 AM (#3100779)
Lemme get this straight, he has an ass problem, which causes him to avoid handling balls?
   33. Mess with the Meat, you get the Wad! Posted: March 12, 2009 at 05:12 AM (#3100798)
i think as the owner of the rectum rangers (fantasy baseball team) im now obligated to draft him
   34. bookbook Posted: March 12, 2009 at 06:39 AM (#3100828)
It's going to be a long year in Mariner land.
   35. Tripon Posted: March 12, 2009 at 06:52 AM (#3100833)
You mean long rear in Mariner land.
   36. Dan Evensen Posted: March 12, 2009 at 07:39 AM (#3100838)
Damn kids. Back in my day, players like Roger Clemens wouldn't sit anything out, no matter how sore their butts were from steroid injections.

Surprised not to see any S/M jokes...
   37. BFFB Posted: March 12, 2009 at 07:57 AM (#3100841)
Sounds like the Mariners have been little to enthusiastic in their arse slapping
   38. RollingWave Posted: March 12, 2009 at 11:47 AM (#3100853)
At least it's not a bruised buttock, so he probably won't follow it up by breaking his ribs while driving some sports car + hot chick.
   39. Sam M. Posted: March 12, 2009 at 01:03 PM (#3100883)
This happened because Erik was hoist by my own Bedard.
   40. Infinite Joost (Voxter) Posted: December 09, 2012 at 08:19 PM (#4320450)
Remember when this happened?
   41. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 09, 2012 at 09:11 PM (#4320472)
Man ass is a dish best served cold.

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