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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

AP: Sales of A-Rod book fade quickly

NEW YORK—Remember that tell-all book about A-Rod?

Just a month after making headlines with its allegations that the New York Yankees star likely used steroids as far back as high school, Selena Roberts’ “A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez” has vanished from best seller lists.

Published in early May by HarperCollins with an announced first printing of 150,000, “A-Rod” has sold just 16,000 copies so far, according to Nielsen BookScan, which tracks about 75 percent of industry sales. The book sold 11,000 in its first week, then quickly faded.

At the Rizzoli Bookstore in midtown Manhattan, “A-Rod” has sold two copies. Twenty-seven copies have sold at Posman Books, based in Grand Central Terminal, but none in the past two weeks.

Tripon Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:19 PM | 98 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: books, business, media, online, special topics, yankees

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   1. Slapinions Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:41 PM (#3213454)
At the Barnes and Noble where I work the books were quietly boxed up and returned to the publisher. I think we honestly only sold two or three copies since its release, and we are a large volume store. It would have helped if the book didn't read like a tabloid smear piece on Jon and Kate.
   2. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:45 PM (#3213461)
Maybe Selena Roberts should accuse A-Rod of rape to get sales up?
   3. Obama Bomaye Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:45 PM (#3213462)
HA-HA!
   4. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:46 PM (#3213464)
what a choker--can't sell books in the clutch
   5. Tripon Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:47 PM (#3213468)
How badly did HarperCollins screw up? Roberts obviously sold them on some juicy gossip, but she couldn't deliver the real goods, and it seemed that nobody edited her work to the degree that it needed.

Just a case of sloppy work on the publisher?
   6. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:48 PM (#3213470)
lets just hope this marks the end of her literary career
   7. John (You Can Call Me Grandma) Murphy Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:49 PM (#3213473)
How badly did HarperCollins screw up?


They, as well as Roberts, got what they deserved.
   8. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:53 PM (#3213481)
I agree. Couldn't happen to a nicer hack.
   9. Jeff K. Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:58 PM (#3213492)
When your book/movie/whatever is a one-trick pony, you can't let that pony out before the thing goes on sale. Even to hype it. Sadly, I'll bet that at best, that's the takeaway from this for the industry, and nothing else.
   10. Srul Itza Posted: June 10, 2009 at 09:59 PM (#3213496)
The book sold 11,000 in its first week

How many of those were to media outlets and reporters -- who quickly regretted the purchase? Or do they get free copies?
   11. Shock Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:00 PM (#3213499)
As of Wednesday afternoon, the book ranked No. 2,904 on Amazon.com


And now it's at #3,047.

So does this basically mean there are 134,000 copies of this book just sitting around collecting dust in stores? Or did the stores not even buy them?
   12. Jack Keefe Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:08 PM (#3213508)
Ha ha well Brides goeth before a Fall as my mam used to say. Now this will not be the Fate of my next book J-Kee The Many Lives of Jack Keefe Al which I am co-riding with A.J. Pierogi my Personnel Catcher and we hope to have it hit the shelves for Chris Maas and why not reserve a couple now I will sine them for you for only Nine Ninety Five apiece extra plus Postage and Hundley.
   13. Jeff K. Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:16 PM (#3213516)
Chris Maas

Kevin's brother?

(Please don't tell me I'm old enough that Kevin's son is of age to be in MLB...)
   14. NotLikely20 Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:17 PM (#3213517)
No agenda here...nice to see the MLBPA PR machine at work. Why is this news? We all know that A-Roid is a fraud.

What did Selena Roberts do that was so wrong again? Piss off MLB/A-Rod fanboys that put their heads in the sand? Please...
   15. Shooty is obsessed with the latest hoodie Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:18 PM (#3213520)
2 problems with this book:

1. People are burnt out on steroids.

2. No one gives a #### about A-Rod. None. Zilch. Hemingway could have written this book and no one would care.
   16. Gamingboy Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:20 PM (#3213524)
No one gives a #### about A-Rod. None. Zilch. Hemingway could have written this book and no one would care.


They would have cared if he wrote it now. Zombies are big this year.
   17. Tripon Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:21 PM (#3213526)
Shooty, I'd say 30 sec.-1 minute clips of info work well if you want info on A-Rod.

Nobody wants to read a ####### book about him, but they'll listen if he's still screwing with Mondonna, etc.

What Roberts really needed was a video of A-Rod ####### a hamster or something.
   18. Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:23 PM (#3213528)
At the Rizzoli Bookstore in midtown Manhattan, “A-Rod” has sold two copies.


I worked at a Rizzoli in San Francisco over 10 years ago and selling two copies of any book there would have been amazing. This was a summer job during college and it was amazingly bizarre. It was a huge store and I'd spend whole days standing on a floor by myself just waiting for a customer, any customer to come in. The store has since closed.
   19. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:23 PM (#3213529)
"What did Selena Roberts do that was so wrong again?"

There was the bit where she appointed herself judge, jury, and executioner for the (wrongly accused) Duke lacrosse players, then refused to admit her mistake or apologize after they were exonerated.

Good roundup here.

So, yeah, in my book she deserves whatever bad luck she gets.
   20. GotowarMissAgnes Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:25 PM (#3213532)
I sure wish A-Rod hadn't written this book.
   21. Curse of the Andino Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:28 PM (#3213538)
HarperCollins is the most troubled of the major publishers. If y'all wait just a little bit, you can probably find the "Bargain Edition" at Amazon for around $6.

It's a bit early, but a lot of the beach bookshops sell a ton of remainders, and I bet you can find it on the $5 table soon.

Makes anyone feel better, Ms. Roberts' career in book publishing has just ended.
   22. Dr Love Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:30 PM (#3213539)
When your book/movie/whatever is a one-trick pony, you can't let that pony out before the thing goes on sale. Even to hype it. Sadly, I'll bet that at best, that's the takeaway from this for the industry, and nothing else.


I doubt it. It worked for Pete Rose.
   23. Best Regards, President of Comfort, Esq. Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:37 PM (#3213551)
What did Selena Roberts do that was so wrong again?
Accuse Alex Rodriguez of tipping pitches, an EXTREMELY serious offense, without a shred of evidence.

You know that blogger that questioned Ibanez's numbers, and said he may use PEDs? His accusations are more credible than Roberts', because he can actually point to a performance spike with Ibanez.
   24. GGC for Sale Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:44 PM (#3213555)
I see that The Yankee Years is at #20 and a Bill Russell book is #35. Didn't see any other sports books on the hardcover non-fiction list until I recognized Rocco Mediate's name.
   25. JB H Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:44 PM (#3213556)
A performance spike is literally useless evidence. Whispers from players and coaches might not be credible but they're not literally useless.
   26. Best Regards, President of Comfort, Esq. Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:52 PM (#3213560)
A performance spike is literally useless evidence. Whispers from players and coaches might not be credible but they're not literally useless.
It's not useless evidence, it's just not compelling evidence.

As for whispers from players and coaches... which players and coaches? Oh, that's right, she didn't tell us. It's imperative that they remain anonymous.
   27. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:56 PM (#3213563)
she also tried to use this..this "principle": hey, I was right about the ONE rumor (steroids), so you gotta take my word about the others

there should be a Greek phrase for this fallacy

(Latin would do, also)
   28. Jeff K. Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:00 PM (#3213565)
there should be a Greek phrase for this fallacy

Maximus douchicus

Appeal to Self-Fellatiothority
   29. virginiasteve Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:15 PM (#3213577)
Sports columnist Selena Roberts is a gifted writer who usually sounds just the right notes in writing about the way sports intersects with issues like race, class, politics and the law

The author of that article must have access to a slew of unpublished Roberts gems. The rest of the world, not having read those, see her as a flaming a-hole.
   30. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:19 PM (#3213581)
A 10% sell-through, after all that promotion? My schaden is totally freuded.
   31. Shock Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:20 PM (#3213582)
Squirrelious blindinus.
   32. Golfing Great Mitch Cumstein Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:25 PM (#3213594)
What did Selena Roberts do that was so wrong again? Piss off MLB/A-Rod fanboys that put their heads in the sand? Please...

Except for the positive test, which she had from two sources and is a verifiable fact, she filled her books with anonymous whispers, sometimes second-hand, that really could not support any conclusion

steroids in high school: "A former high school teammate told Roberts the future No.1 MLB draft pick was on steroids and his coach knew it.

Another student said the son of coach Rich Hofman admitted he saw Rodriguez use steroids.

Hofman said it was news to him. "Whatever he was doing, he was doing it somewhere else," he said."" And she is puzzled that a 15-year old could gain 25 pounds;

PED's with the Yankees: anonymous sources claimed he gained a suspicious amount of weight and somebody saw him and Kevin Brown and HGH in the same room.;

and the pitch tipping: just speculation on the part of a former teammate that defied any reason.
   33. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:30 PM (#3213606)
Squirrelious blindinus

I like it

(what's Latin for "acorn"--I'm a former altar boy, but that word seldom came up in the liturgy)
   34. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:31 PM (#3213610)
I just don't see the point in writing a bio of a 33-year-old ballplayer who, a, is still alive, b, is still in the meat of his playing career and, c, still (presumably) has many defining moments ahead of him. I'm a sucker for serious sports bios, but for those reasons (and my distaste for Roberts' professionalism) I was never tempted by this one.
   35. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:38 PM (#3213625)
(what's Latin for "acorn"--I'm a former altar boy, but that word seldom came up in the liturgy)

I s'pose it could be "oakus minimus"
   36. Jeff K. Posted: June 10, 2009 at 11:48 PM (#3213662)
Dayn, really? Because you know what the point was, and the point wasn't "To bring the world the under-reported story of Alex Rodriguez, whom you may or may not know as a baseball player."

This book had less of a believable-upfront informational or non-scandalous point to it than Peter Golenbock's "I'ma make up dialogue from Mickey Mantle's life" book.
   37. Gamingboy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:07 AM (#3213722)
To continue my comment about Zombies from number 16:

If Joe Dimaggio were to come up as a Zombie, would he be referred to as the "Greatest Undead Ballplayer"?
   38. Jeff K. Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:17 AM (#3213749)
No, that'd be Ray Knight (of the Living Dead).

I'm sorry.
   39. CW Is Carving The Goddamned Turkey Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:34 AM (#3213806)
They would have cared if he wrote it now. Zombies are big this year.


Vampires can write books.

Liches can write books.

Ghosts (obviously) can write books.

Zombies?

Zombies can't write books. C'mon, people, work with me here.
   40. Greg K Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:46 AM (#3213846)
Zombies join Ninjas, Pirates and Chuck Norris on the trolley of pop culture phenomenons that confuse me to no end.
   41. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn) Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:02 AM (#3213883)
Dayn, really? Because you know what the point was, and the point wasn't "To bring the world the under-reported story of Alex Rodriguez, whom you may or may not know as a baseball player."

This book had less of a believable-upfront informational or non-scandalous point to it than Peter Golenbock's "I'ma make up dialogue from Mickey Mantle's life" book.


I get that. I just don't see how Roberts and her editors believed that "A-Rod tested positive for steroids and did some other weakly substantiated stuff" can carry a book-length narrative. It's an article, not a book. Hell, I don't see how it made for a book proposal.
   42. Tricky Dick Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:10 AM (#3213898)
2 problems with this book:

1. People are burnt out on steroids.

2. No one gives a #### about A-Rod. None. Zilch. Hemingway could have written this book and no one would care.


Hit the nail on the head. That's what I was thinking (well, the Hemingway reference was a nice touch beyond what I was thinking).
   43. Tripon Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:11 AM (#3213899)


I get that. I just don't see how Roberts and her editors believed that "A-Rod tested positive for steroids and did some other weakly substantiated stuff" can carry a book-length narrative. It's an article, not a book. Hell, I don't see how it made for a book proposal.


Roberts lied to her publisher on how much rock solid evidence she really had, and HarperCollins didn't care anyway?
   44. ValueArb Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:21 AM (#3213934)

What did Selena Roberts do that was so wrong again? Piss off MLB/A-Rod fanboys that put their heads in the sand? Please...


Nice to have you on Primer Selena.
   45. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn) Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:22 AM (#3213936)
Roberts lied to her publisher on how much rock solid evidence she really had, and HarperCollins didn't care anyway?

Could be ... But I'd think they'd err on the side of caution after O.J./Judith Regan. They have the right to refuse the manuscript and demand return of the advance (at least with every book deal I've ever heard of) if anything looks untoward. Perhaps Ms. Roberts is very persuasive.
   46. Gamingboy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:25 AM (#3213944)

Zombies can't write books. C'mon, people, work with me here.


It depends on what type of Zombie! Not every Zombie is a brainless (and brain-eating) shambler, some of them are just like us other than the decomposing with a taste for human flesh part.
   47. GregQ Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:33 AM (#3213978)
I thought that Zombies only ate brains!
   48. GGC for Sale Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:35 AM (#3213988)
You guys are gonna piss off CW. Learn your folklore.
   49. Obama Bomaye Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:41 AM (#3214012)
Perhaps Ms. Roberts is very persuasive.

Maybe she sucks a good dick.





maybe?
   50. Gamingboy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:50 AM (#3214038)
You guys are gonna piss off CW. Learn your folklore.


But Zombies have different folklores! There is the Voodoo Zombie, the Romero Zombie, Deadites, Lovecraftian Zombies, those virus-created Zombies from Resident Evil.......
   51. Jeff K. Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:53 AM (#3214049)
I get that. I just don't see how Roberts and her editors believed that "A-Rod tested positive for steroids and did some other weakly substantiated stuff" can carry a book-length narrative. It's an article, not a book. Hell, I don't see how it made for a book proposal.

Well, that presumes that "ability to carry a book-length narrative" was the standard being applied, rather than "ability to sell books". I have no knowledge of HarperCollins' business practices and/or the standards they apply to manuscripts purporting to be journalism, but it doesn't seem to be a huge leap to surmise that as long as they were satisfied they had no legal exposure as the publisher, the prevailing standard was economic. I think the Rose example from above is pretty instructive; someone published that, and that had less to say than this book. That HC either misjudged the market or their publicity for the book ruined the market is a separate issue, of course.
   52. Jeff K. Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:54 AM (#3214053)
those virus-created Zombies from Resident Evil

Or the brain-washed and physically-infested-with-parasites cultists from RE4, deemed "not-zombies" by the gaming press.
   53. Dr. I likes his panda steak medium rare Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:05 AM (#3214087)
Zombies are big this year.


Indeed. This is my favorite example.

There are actually a surprising number of people who are really into all things zombie.

Edit: Not that I have read the book. I just find the idea of this book amusing.
   54. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn) Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:15 AM (#3214124)
Perhaps Ms. Roberts is very persuasive.

Maybe she sucks a good dick.





maybe?


Just to be clear, I wasn't suggesting anything like that. I know you know that, but my wording sounds like it's hinting at something salacious.
   55. Gamingboy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:18 AM (#3214128)
Or the brain-washed and physically-infested-with-parasites cultists from RE4, deemed "not-zombies" by the gaming press.


If they are physically infested with Parasites, they are not Zombies, they are merely being run by some Puppet Masters.
   56. ValueArb Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:26 AM (#3214151)
Perhaps Ms. Roberts is very persuasive.

Maybe she sucks a good dick.


If you and I had a beer together, and you told me you knew for a fact that Selena could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, and it was the secret to her promotion through the ranks at NYT and SI, despite her limited writing skills, I could write that it was a fact in my book on Selena Roberts, quoting you as an anonymous source that I personally vouched for, much as Selena did with all her sources. And the best part is she can't sue anyone because I don't have to surrender my sources.

Anyone want to go out for a beer?
   57. Curse of the Andino Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:32 AM (#3214173)
Anyone want to go out for a beer?


Unfortunately, you'll find that much of publishing is female-dominated at this stage of the game. So at our beer, I'd have to tell you how I heard, from a friend of a friend, that her three fingers are to die for, and she'll slip 'em under your skirt while you're reading the manuscript.

/Just what I heard, though.
   58. Jeff K. Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:49 AM (#3214205)
Gb, they aren't zombies. But supposedly Capcom made a big deal out of how the opposition in RE4 wouldn't be zombies, and then threw those out there. There is zero difference between them and zombies as far as gameplay or story go, hence the "not-zombie" moniker.

You know, technically I don't think RE 1-3's monsters were zombies. They were infected with the T-virus, they weren't undead risen from the grave.
   59. Jeff K. Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:53 AM (#3214210)
/Just what I heard, though.

I read that somewhere, so you now have independent verification. And since I use my real name here, you're a step up on Roberts. And Dayn has provided you your dust-jacket quote from a name journalist:

"Ms. Roberts is very persuasive. Just to be clear...my wording...'s hinting at something salacious."
   60. jcnyc Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:58 AM (#3214218)
So does this basically mean there are 134,000 copies of this book just sitting around collecting dust in stores? Or did the stores not even buy them?


No. Not necessarily. Announced first printings are usually complete bs, how much so usually depends on the publisher. Often it is used as pr to get the media interested, (zomg! 150,000 copies! It'll be huge!) or as a signal to retail or wholesale buyers that they have certain expectations for the book. I would guess that, at the very most, they printed half that amount. Very possibly, they just took the advance orders, say 30k-40k and printed just a little more than that, while booking time at a printer for the end of the release week, in case the book actually sold. Still not a winner, but not as big a disaster as 135k unsold. Whatever books are coming back or remain unsold have already been contracted to a remainder company for somewhere between $.60-$1.20 per book, depending on how many they agree to take, which will appear on discount tables in august or so.

Harper is known for printing pretty close to the pre-sales line lately.
   61. GregQ Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:59 AM (#3214219)
I think Roberts said that Jason Whitlock was blasting her because she was a lesbian.
   62. Tripon Posted: June 11, 2009 at 03:00 AM (#3214227)
61. GregQ Posted: June 10, 2009 at 10:59 PM (#3214219)
I think Roberts said that Jason Whitlock was blasting her because she was a lesbian.


Why would anyone know or care if she's a lesbian?
   63. Jeff K. Posted: June 11, 2009 at 03:09 AM (#3214235)
Why would anyone know or care if she's a lesbian?

As for why they would know, your parents really should have had this talk, but:

Mommies and daddies love each other, and to show that love, they have special hugging. But sometimes, two mommies want to hug. Now, this doesn't mean that either mommy no longer wants to hug daddies, she could just have suburban ennui, or she has some unresolved things from experimental hugging in college. It's only bad when one mommy takes it all serious and the other one is like "whoa, I have a family, and this hugging is cool and all, but I don't want to be..." and then the other mommy says "WHAT? What don't you want to be called? Because that's what you are and that's what I am and I will tell Bill (the first mommy's husband) what we've been doing! And what do you think *he'll* call you, huh?" and then as the first mommy runs out the door, the second mommy yells out the door after her. And the word she yells is that word.

(Lesbian, if you lost track.)
   64. GregQ Posted: June 11, 2009 at 03:09 AM (#3214236)
responding to post 56 & 57- otherwise I have no idea why people would care except that sadly she brought it up to defend herself against claims that she was inaccurate and distorted information-
   65. Shock Posted: June 11, 2009 at 03:13 AM (#3214239)
Thank you for that, jcnyc.

I was hoping someone would actually answer and explain or contextualize the numbers, not that the dick jokes aren't hilarious. The dynamics of the publishing world is interesting to me.

And post 56 is awesome.
   66. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn) Posted: June 11, 2009 at 03:45 AM (#3214256)
"Ms. Roberts is very persuasive. Just to be clear...my wording...'s hinting at something salacious."

Nicely done.
   67. The Most Interesting Man In The World Posted: June 11, 2009 at 04:06 AM (#3214263)
Suchashame
   68. 1k5v3L Posted: June 11, 2009 at 04:32 AM (#3214277)
A three fingered lesbian who sucks a good dick?
Maybe I'll pass on the book and wait for the movie...
   69. baudib Posted: June 11, 2009 at 04:55 AM (#3214290)
A-Rod has traditionally been great fodder for the NY tabloids and generated a lot of newspaper sales with his various controversies and indiscretions. However, I think the public has reached the point where it is fed up with him and unless he does something amazingly awful or stupid he's not that interesting; "average" A-Rod stupidity isn't that surprising anymore.
   70. SuperGrover Posted: June 11, 2009 at 05:58 AM (#3214321)
And she is puzzled that a 15-year old could gain 25 pounds;


Hold on...really? I gained 30 pounds in three months when I was 14. Of course I grew 3 inches as well.

Considering A-ROd was a physical God by the time he was 18, I expect he had some crazy ass growth spurts as a high schooler.
   71. Lassus Posted: June 11, 2009 at 06:06 AM (#3214323)
Now that we've heard from Grover, I expect Cookie Monster to come back and weigh in.
   72. rdfc Posted: June 11, 2009 at 07:23 AM (#3214344)
It's really an awful book: boring, tedious, bereft of insight. Part of the problem may be that ARod just isn't very interesting, but that's no excuse.

I don't know what the real press run was, but this thing is going to take up space on the remainder tables for years, just as Pete Rose's last book did. (And while My Prison Without Bars was just as bad a book, it wasn't as tedious; it at least had the virtue of being a train wreck of a book)
   73. Flynn Posted: June 11, 2009 at 10:45 AM (#3214361)
It's not that A-Rod is kind of dull, it's that Selena Roberts is kind of dull. She knows absolutely nothing about sports - even in the NBA, where she made her name, she just parrots the most obvious talking points - and her "intersection of sports with class, race and politics" is just really standard agitprop. She takes her biases and writes about them like a sledgehammer pounding watermelon. There isn't really any subtlety to them; it's true writing by numbers. Her writing is so bad that I'm genuinely thinking that blank look she often has is because there's not much going on upstairs. Certainly her career choices suggest that - her book was an absolute turd and she sufficiently pissed off the WWL to be banned from ESPN.

Jason Whitlock is far better at that than her at "the intersection" and he also absolutely eviscerated her in two columns. A thorough pwning.
   74. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: June 11, 2009 at 11:44 AM (#3214367)
It's not that A-Rod is kind of dull, it's that Selena Roberts is kind of dull. She knows absolutely nothing about sports - even in the NBA, where she made her name, she just parrots the most obvious talking points - and her "intersection of sports with class, race and politics" is just really standard agitprop. She takes her biases and writes about them like a sledgehammer pounding watermelon. There isn't really any subtlety to them; it's true writing by numbers.

That pretty much says it. And you didn't even mention her obsession with Martha Burk's crusade against the Masters, which was if anything was even more pathetic than her jousting with A-Rod---nearly twenty columns devoted to the subject of the admissions policy of a private country club.
   75. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: June 11, 2009 at 11:50 AM (#3214370)
She takes her biases and writes about them like a sledgehammer pounding watermelon.

Roberts:Writing::Gallagher:Comedy?
   76. CookieMonster! Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:22 PM (#3214375)
Now that we've heard from Grover, I expect Cookie Monster to come back and weigh in.

Cookie Monster learn long ago not stick nose in other people scandals. Me got enough problems, me not need invite karma kick Monster ass for speaking Monster mind out of turn. But since me here, Cookie Monster deal with Selena Roberts. Her no-talent hack out for Woodward/"Herstein" fame, if you know what me mean. Her show up on Street asking question like "Is Snuffleupagus real" (who care, it make bird happy and keep gigantic pile of bird #### down in playground, not on Cookie Monster stoop), "What's Guy Smiley's secret past" (Him a guy. Him smiley. This not difficult, lady.) When Cookie Monster omerta, her threaten make up story. Me say "Bring it on, ink-stain skirt. Cookie Monster *actually do* way worse thing than skirt imagination. Me survive. You know why? Me *star*. Industry, fans overlook indiscretion, drug and gun in checked bag (never let halfwit Gonzo alone with luggage) for talent. You not get hangnail overlooked." She leave.

Me also should plug autobiography since it on topic. Self-publish after inadvertent "Jewish run media" episode last year. C is for Cookie: Also Crack and Coitus on Amazon.
   77. altavista Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:25 PM (#3214376)
A three fingered lesbian who sucks a good dick?
Maybe I'll pass on the book and wait for the movie...



Three-Finger Crown
   78. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:34 PM (#3214379)
C is for Cookie: Also Crack and Coitus

I would definitely buy that book.
   79. Neil Kinnock...Lord Palmerston! (Orinoco) Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:37 PM (#3214382)
That pretty much says it. And you didn't even mention her obsession with Martha Burk's crusade against the Masters, which was if anything was even more pathetic than her jousting with A-Rod---nearly twenty columns devoted to the subject of the admissions policy of a private country club.


Was she the main hack behind the Times coverage (more like stalking) of Augusta? I don't even remember anymore. Should have figured.

That was the moment I gave up on the NYT sports section.
   80. Shooty is obsessed with the latest hoodie Posted: June 11, 2009 at 12:37 PM (#3214383)
I would definitely buy that book.

I would if it were a pop-up book.
   81. RMc's Yelling Mob of Hackmen Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:12 PM (#3214410)
Nobody wants to read a ####### book about him, but they'll listen if he's still screwing with Mondonna, etc.

I LOL'd, imagining "Mondonna" was some Japanese monster, a la Godzilla:

Girl: We must stop Mondonna before it obliterates Tokyo!
Boy (not looking up from newspaper): Third time this week.
   82. Gamingboy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:15 PM (#3214412)
(looks at all the different directions this topic have gone)

BBTF, I love you.
   83. gef the talking mongoose Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:22 PM (#3214418)
Zombies join Ninjas, Pirates and Chuck Norris on the trolley of pop culture phenomenons that confuse me to no end.


I had a really neat zombie dream last night (somehow segueing out of a scenario about a concert featuring the Buzzcocks opening up for the Clash), as it happens. I'm pretty sure I've never dreamed about ninjas, pirates or Chuck Norris.

So, um, there.

If they are physically infested with Parasites, they are not Zombies, they are merely being run by some Puppet Masters.


One of my favorite sf novels ever. Heinlein's pernicious, BeanoCookian politics would undoubtedly prevent me from going back & re-reading any number of his books, but I'm pretty sure Puppet Masters would be an exception.
   84. CookieMonster! Posted: June 11, 2009 at 01:50 PM (#3214444)
I LOL'd, imagining "Mondonna" was some Japanese monster, a la Godzilla:

You ever see her in real life? That sex book airbrush to hell back. Her monster, and not good kind. Me rather go Courtney Love again than her.
   85. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:01 PM (#3214461)
I LOL'd, imagining "Mondonna" was some Japanese monster, a la Godzilla:

And then there's Mandonna. Madonna was the closest ARod could get to his ideal.
   86. BDC Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:17 PM (#3214479)
what's Latin for "acorn"--I'm a former altar boy, but that word seldom came up

Actually, the Latin word for "acorn" is glans. I certainly hope that never came up when you were an altar boy.
   87. Hector Moreda & The Generalissimo Posted: June 11, 2009 at 02:36 PM (#3214500)
This is some amazing #### right here.

And, DON'T say the zed-word!
   88. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: June 11, 2009 at 03:02 PM (#3214525)
That pretty much says it. And you didn't even mention her obsession with Martha Burk's crusade against the Masters, which was if anything was even more pathetic than her jousting with A-Rod---nearly twenty columns devoted to the subject of the admissions policy of a private country club.

Was she the main hack behind the Times coverage (more like stalking) of Augusta? I don't even remember anymore. Should have figured.


Hard to say for sure, since she wasn't the editor, and the entire Times sports section treated that story as if it were the second coming of Jackie Robinson. But given the sheer amount of verbiage she personally devoted to the subject, it wouldn't be surprising if she'd been the main instigator behind the scenes. And your use of "stalking" to describe that coverage is not the worst choice of a word.
   89. John (You Can Call Me Grandma) Murphy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 03:03 PM (#3214526)
What did Selena Roberts do that was so wrong again? Piss off MLB/A-Rod fanboys that put their heads in the sand? Please...



Nice to have you on Primer Selena.


Actually, he or she is a Roberts fanboy who is putting his or her head in the sand about her numerous writing and reporting faults.
   90. cardsfanboy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 06:14 PM (#3214737)
I love the Cookie Monster appearance on this thread. and the book he is writing sounds readable.

I did buy the Pete Rose book, but that was because it was at the dollar store and I'll pretty much buy any book that I have a passing interest in.
   91. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 11, 2009 at 06:42 PM (#3214769)
"What's Guy Smiley's secret past" (Him a guy. Him smiley. This not difficult, lady.)
If that's not the funniest thing I've ever read on Primer, it's top 5 easy.
   92. RJ in TO Posted: June 11, 2009 at 06:49 PM (#3214776)
If that's not the funniest thing I've ever read on Primer, it's top 5 easy.


It's up there, but this thread is so packed with goodness, it pushes everything else down a level.
   93. John (You Can Call Me Grandma) Murphy Posted: June 11, 2009 at 07:58 PM (#3214864)
I did buy the Pete Rose book, but that was because it was at the dollar store and I'll pretty much buy any book that I have a passing interest in.


I bought Joe Morgan's book at a local dollar store. Not a bad book.
   94. OCF Posted: June 11, 2009 at 08:16 PM (#3214885)
Her no-talent hack out for Woodward/"Herstein" fame,

Herstein? When did Cookie Monster take an Abstract Algebra course?
   95. AJMcCringleberry Posted: June 11, 2009 at 09:57 PM (#3214980)
I bought Joe Morgan's book at a local dollar store. Not a bad book.

Baseball for Dummies?
   96. akrasian Posted: June 11, 2009 at 10:09 PM (#3214990)
I bought Joe Morgan's book at a local dollar store. Not a bad book.

If only Billy Beane hadn't written it.
   97. John (You Can Call Me Grandma) Murphy Posted: June 12, 2009 at 01:08 AM (#3215264)
Baseball for Dummies?


His autobiography. Even came with a baseball card, which was kind of cool.
   98. Jeff K. Posted: June 12, 2009 at 01:49 AM (#3215346)
Uncool is that the card was of Billy Bean.

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